The Soul Believes It

by Julie Allan

  “So are you saying I shouldn’t try to find her?”

  “No, I’m saying you need to keep in mind she has a life, she is not waiting around to be discovered by her birth family. She may not be receptive, and I don’t want you to be hurt by that.”

  Lizzie sighed, “Sometimes I wish I had never found that letter.”

  Bennett reached over, running his fingers through her hair. “Then you would never have found this Aunt Beverley or learned anything about your mother’s family.”

  Lizzie relaxed back into Bennett’s shoulder pulling his arm tighter around her. “I suppose you’re right. I really do want to introduce all of you to Aunt Beverley; I think I should take Dot down there first.”

  Bennett brought Lizzie’s hand up to his lips, brushing it with a kiss. “I guess that means another bachelor’s weekend for me.”

  Lizzie stepped out onto the deck; the hostess had indicated that Amy was already seated at a table. She held her hand over her eyes and scanned the lunch crowd. Amy had spotted her and was waving her over.

  Lizzie flopped down into the chair, “I am so glad you could meet me today and that you got us this great table!” Lizzie looked out onto Shem Creek and smiled.

  “It is so gorgeous today! I’m glad you called, we need to talk about the family Easter dinner.”

  “Yes, we do, but I also have some news. I think we better order first.” Lizzie picked up the menu and began to look it over. “I don’t know why I look, I always get the shrimp po’boy.”

  “I know what you mean, I always get the crab cakes.” Amy set her menu down. “News? I’m all ears.”

  The waitress had arrived, so they quickly gave their orders and settled in for a sister-in-law chat. Lizzie told her all about her discovery of the letter and how Ben had a file that Aunt Dorothy had left with him.

  Amy interrupted, “I can’t believe my son didn’t give me a hint that something was up!”

  “He may be your son, but he is not just my nephew, he is my attorney, which means he has to keep my confidences even from you and Bennett, by the way, I waited over a month to tell him.”

  Amy laughed, “So I guess I shouldn’t be jealous.”

  Lizzie took a sip of her iced tea, “No, but you might be a little jealous I told M.A. first.”

  Lizzie told her about the trip to Beaufort and meeting Aunt Beverley. She also told her about the first letter she had read from her mother to Aunt Beverley.

  “You haven’t read the other two letters yet?” Amy moved her hand off the table so the waitress could set down her plate.

  “No, I think I’m going to read the second one this afternoon.” Lizzie picked up her po’boy to take a bite.

  “I guess it is a lot to take in. I would have gladly gone to Beaufort with you, but I’m not jealous, I’m glad M.A. could be there for you.”

  “I am blessed to have both of you for my dearest friends.” Lizzie raised her glass. “To the best sister-in-law and friend a girl could have.”

  Amy clinked her glass together with Lizzie’s, “Aw…right back at you.”

  By the time they parted ways, they had made the plan for Easter, Amy would bring the dessert and her daughter’s in -law would handle the sides. If the weather was good, Lizzie would have Bennett set up the long tables together on the back lawn, if not then they would make do with the tables in various rooms inside.

  Back at the house Lizzie put the second letter in her pocket and retrieved her bike from the garage. She rode down Pitt Street and onto the Pitt Street Bridge. She watched a pair of osprey’s swoop and dive for a few minutes and then pulled out letter two.

  Dear Aunt Beverley,

  I hope this letter finds you well. It has been a few years since I have written and I apologize for that. I am writing to let you know that I am getting married. I have met the most wonderful man. I should back up and tell you what has happened since the last time I wrote. I did give the baby up for adoption; I had to go to Columbia to make it happen. The child was a girl, and the brief time I spent with her, I could tell she would have Cole’s features, down to the long dark eyelashes. Her face is seared in my memory. I don’t think I regret my decision to give her up, the few years after I did have been challenging to keep a roof over my head and food on my table. I was able to sell some paintings, and I even had a show. That is actually how I met my darling Bobby, Robert Sawyer is his formal name. He grew up in Mount Pleasant just over the river in Charleston. He has a wonderful sister named Dorothy; her spunk reminds me of you. I know you won’t be able to come, I did send Mama and Daddy a letter to tell them about Bobby, but it came back unopened, return to sender. I am sad, but I guess that door is forever closed. My Bobby has given me my heart back. I told him all about Cole and the baby, and he still loves me. If you ever get back home, please come to see me, I would love for you to meet him.

  With Love, your Niece,

  Caroline

  Lizzie smiled, she could barely see her parents in her mind, but she remembered how loving they were, to her and each other. My daddy was a lot like Bennett. She knew he has healed her mother and made it possible for her to start over. She carefully folded the letter back up and returned it to her pocket. It was time to head home and figure out what to fix for supper.

  After supper, Bennett had gone over to Amy and Scott’s house to help Scott do a little work on a boat engine. Lizzie cleaned up the kitchen and headed out to the screened porch. She turned on the lamps and threw a throw blanket over her legs; the temperature was dropping rapidly as the last of the day slipped below the horizon. She had the last of the letters in her hand. When she unfolded it, a snapshot of a man and a toddler dropped out, and Lizzie realized it was her and her father.

  Dear Aunt Beverley,

  I got your letter, so sorry I had not written; I am glad you reached out to me. I have enclosed a picture of my darling Bobby and our sweet little girl, Elizabeth. She is one and a half and truly a joy in our lives. I am sure you still communicate with Mama, I would love if you could share about Elizabeth with her. Any letters I have tried to send have been returned. I do hope you will get to see Elizabeth someday. How is life in Paris? Give Uncle Beau my love. I made shrimp etouffee the other night and it made me think of him. I have slowed down a bit with my painting, spending time with Elizabeth and keeping a home for Bobby takes a fair bit of my time and I would not change that for all the painting time in the world.

  With Love, Your Niece,

  Caroline

  p.s. I loved the postcards from the Musee D’Orsay you sent me.

  Lizzie brushed a tear from her cheek. She felt her mother’s love in those words. Her mother had not only loved her, she cherished her life with Lizzie and Bobby.

  Lizzie had never felt the loss of her parents sharply, she had been so young, and Aunt Dorothy and Uncle George had done such a wonderful job making her feel loved and secure. But in this moment, she felt her heart break for the loss of her parents and life they could have had.

  Chapter Five

  Lizzie had called ahead to make a lunch date with Aunt Beverley, and she and Dot were rolling down 17 South headed to Beaufort. Bennett was not quite getting a bachelor’s weekend. Dot had persuaded Lizzie they could drive down in the morning and drive back after lunch. Lizzie filled Dot in on the letters she had read.

  “Wow, it’s like we are finally getting to meet your mother.”

  “Yes, I think I had this idealized image of her in my mind for so long, I forgot that she was once a real person who had parents and a life. I barely remember her life with me.” Lizzie navigated into the passing lane to get around a slow truck.

  “I think Grandma Caroline must have been brave.”

  “I guess you’re right. It could not have been easy to strike out on your own as a young woman in 1968.”

  “I wish I knew more about her art.”

  “I can tell you some. We have some of her pieces hanging in the house, and I brought one painting back with me from my last visit dow
n here. She was becoming known for her lowcountry landscapes when she died.” Lizzie turned off Highway 17, heading towards Garden’s Corners, Beaufort and Hilton Head.

  “I’d like to take a closer look at her paintings. I’ve always wanted to learn how to paint.”

  “Dot, how come you never said anything? Daddy and I would have happily signed you up for art classes.”

  “I don’t know; I guess I thought I wouldn’t be very good.”

  “You’ll never know unless you try it out. You have Caroline’s blood flowing through you. Plus, Aunt Dorothy was pretty artistic, and she was your Grandpa’s sister.”

  Time and miles flew by as the mother and daughter duo made their way to Aunt Beverley. Lizzie listened as Dot gushed about her boyfriend Hudson and the challenges of working in historic preservation architecture. I am so enjoying my relationship with Dot, so much better than the teenage years. Lizzie nodded and smiled as Dot chattered on. I wonder if things would have been like this with Caroline and me?

  Lizzie pulled into the parking lot. “We’re here. I should prepare you, Aunt Beverley’s apartment looks like she pilfered from the Palace of Versailles.”

  Lizzie and Dot signed in at the front desk and made their way through the corridors to Aunt Beverley’s door. Her private nurse, Bella, greeted them at the door and ushered them into the living room. Lizzie watched Dot’s face as she took in the gilding, silk and mirrored surfaces that overwhelmed the space.

  The bedroom door opened and the whir of Aunt Beverley’s scooter preceded her into the room. Lizzie’s first encounter had left her with the perception that Aunt Beverley was a flamboyant woman who loved life. She was pleased to see Aunt Beverley confirming her perception. Today, she wore a Salmon pink raw silk pantsuit, with a shimmering, cream shell. Her chunky gold necklace and earrings cried out to be noticed.

  ”You must be the sweet Dot I heard about.”

  Dot nodded, “Yes, ma’am. I mean Aunt Beverley.”

  “Lizzie come and hug on my neck. I am still so tickled to have Caroline’s girl here!’

  Lizzie moved over to Aunt Beverley and stooped down to hug her. “I’m so pleased to be here! Thank you again for the letters and photos you let me take, I really feel like I have a more complete picture of my mother.”

  “I so wish you had been able to know my sister Annabeth and even her husband, Ted. I’m afraid your grandparents are not presented in the best light with what happened with your mother. There is really so much more to them.”

  “I would love if you could tell me more about them.”

  “I would be glad to, but first I have arranged lunch for the three of us in the private dining room. Follow me.” With that command, Aunt Beverley led them out of the suite and down a series of corridors to a lovely room furnished with a beautiful mahogany table and sideboard. The walls were covered in an elegant hand-painted silk wallpaper. A grand crystal chandelier was suspended over the table, and the windows were dressed in a generous set of gold silk draperies that pooled onto the oriental carpet laid on the floor.

  “Beautiful, isn’t it? I insisted on paying for the renovation of this room when I moved in. I think families should have an elegant place to entertain their visitors.” Aunt Beverley rolled up to the table, and Bella helped her into the chair at the head of the table. Lizzie and Dot took their places on either side of her. As if on cue, staff appeared and poured ice water into goblets and presented the ladies with an extensive menu. They each took a moment to make their selections.

  “Now that our plates have been decided I want to hear all about your life, Miss Dot.” Aunt Beverley tapped her bright red fingernails on the shiny tabletop.

  “Yes, ma’am. There’s not much to tell. I am in my second year working for an architectural firm that focuses on historic preservation. I live with some of my friends in a beach house we rent on Sullivan’s Island, and I have a boyfriend named Hudson, he’s a civil engineer.”

  “So grown up! I’m sure your mama is very proud! When I was your age, I was a candy striper at the hospital and planning my wedding. I am so glad these days women can be professional.”

  Lizzie and Dot both laughed. The staff had returned with salads and rolls, all served on Limoges.

  Lizzie paused before taking her next bite. “Aunt Beverley, could you tell us a little more about Annabeth?”

  Aunt Beverley’s eyes softened. “When I was growing up I worshiped my big sister. She got married when I was nine. I got to be a junior bridesmaid in her wedding. I was just twelve when Caroline was born. I babysat her when I got a little older. My sister and I were quite the opposites. She was always quiet and demure, while I was a little more on the wild side. Annabeth always did her duty. She became a sustaining member of the Junior League, chaired the church tea room, never lost her gloves, you know the type. I, on the other hand, would tell Mother I was going to study at the library and sneak off to the malt shop.” Aunt Beverley smiled.

  Dot reached over and laid her hand on Aunt Beverly’s hand. “What great memories, I always wished I had a sister.”

  “Well, my dear, I’m not sure Annabeth and I had a typical sister relationship, she was so much older than me, she was almost like another mother.”

  “So, when my mother was about nine, is that when you left for Europe?” Lizzie asked.

  “Yes, we had such a wonderful life there. We were gone for forty years.” Aunt Beverley nodded thanks to the staff placing their entrees.

  “I do regret I never got to see Caroline with you and your daddy. From her letters, I could always tell she was happy. I’m sorry I didn’t keep more of her letters.”

  “No one has a crystal ball. I’m just glad you kept a few, it really did help me understand her story better.”

  “Any leads on your half-sister?” Aunt Beverley asked as she indicated her plate was ready to be taken away.

  Lizzie selected a lemon tart from the dessert tray. “No, I’m not sure how to proceed, but I have my attorney and some friends helping me.”

  “It was such a sad thing. That little girl had lost her daddy before she was even born. I like to think she has had a marvelous life with a loving family and has children of her own. I know you are compelled to find out all you can, but you might consider that you will bring more upheaval to her life than a missing piece. She has no idea you exist.”

  Lizzie nodded, she had that thought run through her head. “I promise I will proceed with caution. At the very least, I’m grateful my search has led me to discover you and finally learn about my mother’s family.”

  Dot set down her spoon. “Could you tell us about Caroline’s brother that died?”

  “Oh . . . Such sadness for Annabeth! He developed a terrible case of the flu, and this was before the flu shot was given as a rule. His little body just couldn’t fight it. I think that changed Annabeth forever. She went through the motions as her social position required, but I think if she could have run away she would have. She did come and spend some time in Europe with me after Caroline left. She was there when I got the letter about giving the baby up for adoption.”

  Lizzie shook her head, “I have such a hard time understanding why she did not move heaven and earth to go and get her daughter.”

  Aunt Beverly reached out her hand to Lizzie, and Lizzie grasped it. Aunt Beverley gave her a squeeze. “Annabeth could never defy her husband, believe me, I tried to convince her to do just that when she headed home. In retrospect, I should have gone home with her and sought out Caroline myself. I could have brought her back to Europe with me. But then she might not have met your father, and then I would not be sitting here with my grand-niece and her lovely daughter.”

  Lizzie squeezed her hand back. “I am so glad we could come and see you today. I hope you let us come again.”

  “Of course, my dear, I would love to meet that husband and son of yours as well.”

  “I think we can arrange that,” Lizzie said as she stood and pushed in her chair. Lizzie and Dot escorted
Aunt Beverley back to her suite and exchanged hugs and goodbyes.

  Both Lizzie and Dot were quiet on the ride home, lost in their reflections from their visit with Aunt Dorothy. Lizzie might not agree with how her grandmother, Annabeth handled Caroline’s situation, but she had a better understanding of her personality. After all who am I to judge?

  Lizzie stood at the sink peeling and deveining shrimp for supper. She heard the door open and close. “Hey Bennett, you’re home early. Could you take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer? I’m up to my elbows in shrimp?”

  “It’s me, not Daddy, and I would be glad to take care of the wash.” Dot answered.

  “I thought it was too early for your father. What brings you by on a Wednesday night? Can you stay for dinner?” Lizzie plopped the last shrimp into the bowl.

  Lizzie could hear the dryer start as she folded the shells into the wrapping and tossed them. Dot entered the kitchen just as she was washing her hands.

  “I came by to take a closer look at Grandma Caroline’s paintings, and yes, I can stay for dinner.” Dot fixed a glass of ice and poured some iced tea. “Mama, would you like a glass?”

  “That would be nice.” Lizzie sat down at the kitchen table, and Dot joined her. So many meaningful conversations happened at this table, Lizzie and Aunt Dorothy, Lizzie and Bennett, Lizzie and Dot, Lizzie and Sawyer . . . She couldn’t imagine a circumstance that would ever make her part with it.

  “I miss sitting here with you; it has been a while,” Dot’s words echoing Lizzie’s thoughts.

  “Is there something on your mind?”

  “Not really, I have just been thinking a lot about art and Grandma Caroline.”

  Lizzie stood up, “I’ll be right back!” She went upstairs to the spare room and located a box labeled, Dot. She took off the lid and rummaged down, eventually unearthing a worn navy blue notebook. She returned the lid to the box and carried the notebook back to the kitchen. She set it down on the table in front of Dot. “Do you remember this?”