Vibe

by Liza James

  "I can always turn around. I always have the choice to leave, Malin. You can't force people into following your beliefs, you can't force them to stay when they don't want to." I intentionally refuse to call him father, and that's the first time he lets his gaze dart back to me in disappointment.

  "You, my wildflower, do not have a choice. Not after they've seen the ceremonies. Not after they've experienced the gifts given by the Omega. How can you not see the importance of our cause? One day, very soon, we will ascend to the City, free of the evil and darkness of humanity. We were never meant to be amongst this wickedness." He speaks calmly, but the strain to his voice as he struggles not to lose control is evident in his tone.

  "Humanity isn't wicked, Malin. We're messy, and emotional. We make mistakes and discover our own truths because each of us is different. Each of us is valuable and worthy of our own lives and decisions. We create our destinies; we own our individuality and thrive in it." The words spill from my mouth far quicker than I intend to. I can't help it, the emotions welling inside of me and flowing without control. "How can you manipulate people into believing their wicked and sinful simply because you don't understand them? That is true wickedness, Malin. The inability to love what is different, simply because it makes you uncomfortable."

  He's silent for a moment, and I briefly wonder if I've possibly struck a nerve. Maybe I've said one simple word that could make him rethink what he's doing. But my small shred of hope is quickly snuffed out by what he says next. "If you think you have any sort of choice left, Aura, you are sorely mistaken. You lost your ability to choose when you were merely a baby. When your mother brought you to The Nation and I took on your cleansing sessions. When you began your ceremony, you were claimed by each of us. Before you were even born, you were appointed as the next prophet."

  I pause, trying to process exactly what he's saying. I was appointed as the next prophet? What the hell does that mean?

  "Do you think it was an accident that your mother found her way to our Nation? That night she was attacked outside of her work, and I was there to help her, to guide her where she was always meant to be? Aura, what happened that night was not an accident. We've had our sights set on you since you were conceived." His voice is a steady stream of revelations. Things I refuse to believe, refuse to acknowledge he was aware of. How the hell would he have known any of this, or who my father actually is?

  "What—" I start, but I'm having a hard time forming my own words as my heart begins slamming erratically inside of my chest. All of these thoughts and worries are spiraling through my head, another discovery that my entire life has been built on lies. "What are you talking about? You planned the attack on my mother? You were there because you orchestrated it?"

  "The Nation orchestrated it after approval by the Prophet. He is your birth father, Aura. He's been watching you this entire time. You were conceived with the intent of leading The Nation when you came of age. It's your destiny to ascend. This is your honor!" Malin's words climb in volume as the final sentence rips from his throat in frustration. Tears break through and stream down my face again and I fucking hate it. I can't stop crying and I can't stop feeling like I'm not going to win this war.

  I won't be able to save Ruby and I won't be able to save myself.

  Lies. Everything has been built on lies. My entire life, my father, my mother, my childhood. Even my adulthood when I thought I had finally escaped.

  Everything has been a lie.

  Suddenly, the van swerves to the side and I lean forward in order to look at the front window and gauge where we are going. That's when I recognize it, the lone gravel road that leads to the field outside of The Nation's property. The splashes of purples, pinks, whites and yellows that decorate the forestry in smatterings of flowers. Wildflowers.

  We're going to my ceremony, immediately throwing me into the exact moment my life changed all those years ago.

  When I was responsible for ending an innocent's life. A little girl who hadn't even had the chance to grow up yet. Her blood was on my hands that day, in a very different way than how Hawk's still is.

  I don't regret what I did to him, but I wish every day that I could change what happened to that little girl.

  The van veers to the side again, going off the gravel path until we're driving through trees and overgrown grass towards the field. When it finally jerks to a stop, I scramble to the back, shutting my eyes and wishing everything would simply disappear. This moment, this place, this life.

  I wish I wasn't me anymore, I want to be someone else.

  The back doors fly open and Malin is standing there, reaching forward with harsh hands as he grips my shoulders and pulls me out. I stumble forward, but his arms wraps around my waist as I squint my eyes and try to adjust to the setting sun. It's late, but light continues dappling the ground through the heavy trees as he walks me forward.

  "We know what you've done, Aura. When you killed that poor, helpless little girl all those years ago. And then you ran? You murdered someone and disappeared. I'm positive someone may be looking for her, the police could easily open a case in search of a missing person. You would be their first target, there were witnesses to what you did that day." His words sink through me as the threatening verbiage forces me to understand my position here. "Unless you do as you're told and play the part you were born to perform."

  I have no choice anymore. Even when I thought I did, he's taken it away from me. They've always taken everything away.

  There's a part of me that's detaching from this moment. My inner self retreating into a place she can hide and avoid what's about to happen. After everything I've been through, my own self-discoveries and renewed identity, I'm still dragged back to this place of manipulation.

  He pushes me forward, and we break through the row of trees lining the far side of the field. As we step through, my eyes collide with faces I haven't seen in years. Familiar features that should pull at my heart, remind me of love and compassion when all they do is illicit feelings of hatred and regret. I quickly scan for Ruby however, and don't see her. A wave of relief washes through me at the idea that she must have gotten away. Maybe K or Sal got to her before they left the club. If she isn't here in the field, then anywhere she would be is safer than this.

  "Mother," I say, my voice flatly ringing out around us as she rushes towards me and distracts my frantic thoughts. Her small frame crashes into mine, sending me stepping backwards while Malin comes up against my back.

  My restrained hands rest precariously low, brushing against his cock while he subtly moves against my body.

  The three of us. Their arms wrap around my shoulders as my mother cries into my neck, Malin's hands slip to my waist, sliding over my stomach and lower than he should ever go, especially in the audience of the woman who gave birth to me. But she doesn't even flinch, allowing his touch to roam over my body while we reunite.

  I writhe in his hold, trying to pull out from between both of them when my mother's fingers bite into my shoulders and she holds me against Malin. "We've been so anxious for your return. It's finally time for you to lead us, Aura. This is your final moment, I'm so proud of you. You've been forgiven of everything."

  "I have done nothing that needs forgiveness, mother. If anyone has wronged someone in all of this, it's all of you and every innocent you've destroyed." I bite the words out as I meet her gaze. She rears back for a moment and just when I think I've hurt her, her hand swings back and comes back against my face in a stinging slap. I can't even fight back, my wrists stinging with pain from the wires that continue slicing into my flesh.

  "What you're mouth when you speak to me. I am your mother, first and foremost. You will do as you've been told over and over again. We are tired of waiting for you to make the decision for yourself. The prophet has returned home for your ceremony, it's time you pay for your sins by taking your role as our leader. You'll do what must be done, Aura or you know what will happen," she says through gritted teeth as blood heats und
er my skin where she struck me. Her eyes narrow and darken into something unrecognizable, but I don't think I've ever truly recognized her.

  Not as my mother. Not as the person she was supposed to be in my life.

  She grips my shoulder and roughly pulls me forward, walking behind me as Malin stands to my side. The next familiar face I see is Zale's. Now older than he once was, his skin is taut with lines of stress and age. His brown hair has streaks of grey, but the single, charismatic smile is still plastered across his face as he watches me approach. His arms spread wide as he laughs, but it isn't malicious. It isn't bitter. It's genuine fucking joy as he watches me.

  Others are standing around the field in a circle, a different formation than what I would have expected but I'm sure they've changed things while I've been gone. There is a man and woman I don't recognize, along with several other elders I once knew and even children I had grown up with.

  Ten or less people to witnesses what I'm about to do. But they only need one to force my hand where they want it.

  "My wildflower. You've finally returned home. Are you ready to restore your ladder and initiate your ascension?" His voice is heavier now, thicker with the darkness I realize now lingers there. I was so blind to what was happening when I was child. I missed the signs of his toxic words.

  "No," I say loudly, tilting my chin up to meet his gaze. Malin stands behind me again, slowly removing the wires he had placed around me.

  Zale ignores my refusal, continuing forward as he speaks words that have haunted my mind for years. "Are you willing to sacrifice yourself, Aura? Will you share the word to others, share your testimony with those who need to hear it most? Are you willing to look into the realm of spirits, discern and speak of what they communicate to you? Are you willing to prophesy to the people? Are you willing to give yourself to The Nation as our appointed leader? Our Prophet.”

  Everyone tenses, small gasps of breath sound around me as he announces my newly discovered position. I still don't understand it, how I've even gotten to this point in my life. But I know my answer, without a single hesitation, I know what I want to say.

  "No. I will not accept this role of leadership. I will not devote myself to a cause so sickly twisted and construed by evil and darkness. I refuse to sacrifice myself, or anyone else in the name of The Nation!" I shout, lifting my voice as the words echo through the forest. "But I will share my testimony. I will tell others of what you've done. What you do to the innocent lives you manipulate into being here. I will reveal the darkest secrets of The Nation. The murderers, the rapists, the drugs, and vile indoctrinations." Malin's hand slips forward across my neck and over my jaw, his fingers moving up to cover my mouth as I try to speak. I'm not finished, and I bite my teeth down on his skin until I taste his blood and hear his shouts of pain while he yanks himself away from me. "Because I'd rather go to prison than spend one more moment with any of you. I'd rather die than give the person I've become to The Nation. I will never be one of you, no matter who I came from. No matter what you believe was supposedly prophesied. I reject all of it."

  I await the strike against my face. I search the eyes of every member as they watch me in silence. Surely, they will take action against me now, but I'm ready for it. I'll take whatever it is, even death if it means refusing them what they want from me.

  "Prophet, please bring the sacrifice," Zale's voice hardly wavers, a steady thread of strength as he yells out and nods at the back of me. I turn my eyes, seeking the man who must be my biological father. The prophet everyone keeps speaking of—the one I've never met.

  But I don't see him and instead of wondering where he is, my heart sinks into my stomach and my mind blanks at what I do see.

  Ruby. Nova. In her bloodied spandex and bruised legs. Her tattooed ribs of butterflies and flowers against her creamy skin. The cuts and abrasions. The crimson streaks and trembling hands. I don't see her face though, and that's what tears me apart the most. Because they've placed the sack over her head as if I wasn't supposed to know who she was. As if she'd be one in the long line of many they would bring out to me so that I could choose who best to kill.

  They haven't given me the choice anymore because she's the key to my ascension.

  God, they want me to kill the only person I've ever truly loved. The one person who's made a difference in my life and opened my mind up to the only happiness I've ever known.

  She's the other half of my soul. The piece they believe corrupted me.

  But she's the only one who's ever set me free.

  A sob breaks through my throat and I try to choke it back. It's impossible though, and she stumbles forward, her head whipping to the side as she hears my voice while Dom leads her to the center of the circle.

  He shoves her to the ground in front of me, on her knees while her hands are tied behind her back. I wish I could see the marks he left on her with the brand, absorb them with my own eyes before I figure out a way to kill him myself.

  Her breaths are falling out rapidly, and I reach forward to grip the sack in my hand so I can pull it from her head.

  "The covering is necessary, Wildflower. This is the wickedness of humanity represented by the sacrifice. It is faceless while encompassing the countless facets of evil." Dom's voice is what catches me off guard as he interrupts my movement. He's calm, his tone almost loving as he reminds me of its purpose.

  My eyes narrow and my head tilts to the side as I look at him again. The set to his jaw and narrow line of his nose, the way his eyes lean towards a greener shade and his dark hair is strangely similar to my own.

  I turn my head, my gaze seeking out my mother's when I notice her eyes strongly held to him. Her lower lip quivers silently, her shoulders tense while her eyes fill with tears.

  No.

  No way, no fucking way.

  "Prophet?" I ask, my voice suddenly shrinking as sick waves of nausea roll through my stomach and memories of the night he held me against my will come crashing to the front of my mind.

  He smiles, but isn't bitter in the way his lips spread widely. I look to my mother as tears fall down my cheeks and I beg for her to tell me I'm wrong. Please, please tell me I'm wrong about this.

  "No," I whisper, but her eyes light with love and passion as she meets my gaze. It's a fucking confirmation, one that rips me apart while I fall to my knees in front of Ruby.

  "He's your father, Aura. He sacrificed his role as your parent when you were young so that he could support The Nation from the outside, in ways the Omega needed from him. He's our true leader, our immediate medium of connection to the Omega. When we conceived you and after Malin saved me, everything became clear. Every horrid thought I had over your father leaving finally made sense. I sought out my forgiveness and he gave it willingly, and then I devoted my own life and yours to the cause. You've always been the Prophet's daughter. It's always been your place to finally ascend here."

  "My father," I say, my voice trembling as the weight of the word settles in my chest. "How is that possible?"

  Fuck. I can't comprehend this. If that's true, then my own father raped me. My own father has been raping the girl I fucking love, my father has been abusing and assaulting the other girls at the club.

  And he's the allegedly appointed prophet of The Nation?

  This is so sick, so beyond twisted that my heart thrashes against my chest and my body sways with unbelief. My hand launches forward and grips the sack over Ruby's head before anyone can stop me, I tear it from her face as her tired eyes land squarely on mine.

  I cry out, at the sight of her bruised and broken face, but also at the fact that this is where we are. "I'm sorry," I whisper as the salty tears drift along my lips and tongue while I apologize to her. "This is my fault. All of it. I should have left when met you."

  "Don't," Ruby says, her words grinding through her teeth as tears pool in her eyes. They seem faded, not nearly as black as they usually do. They've dulled, resigning to a half-mass gaze while she watches me. "Don't you fucki
ng dare take anything back, Aura." She pauses, her own voice wavering as she continues at a whisper, "I won't let you."

  I lift my hand and brush my thumb against her cheek, losing myself to the feeling of her skin, the warmth her body radiates against my own. She tilts her head into my palm and closes her eyes while silent tears stain her dirtied skin.

  "This is right," my mother's voice drifts out from behind me, lighting my body on fire with anger and defiance. I can't go down like this. I can't let go of Ruby like this. No fucking way.

  Ruby's eyes narrow just slightly as I step up and launch to the side, flattening my palm as I swing wide and crash across my mother's face. Her head flies to the right as she lifts her fingers and drags them across the tinge of red now tainting her lips.

  I'm happy about it, fucking ecstatic to see one of these people bleed at my hand. Even if it is my own mother. The woman who has betrayed me far worse than anyone else.

  Dom's hands suddenly grip my shoulders as he yanks me back, dragging me away from her while I spit at her face and watch with satisfaction as it splatters across her cheek. "You're wrong," I cry out, kicking my legs while my biological father lifts me from the ground and walks away from her. "You're disgusting. All of you. You're fucking worthless and pathetic and—"

  "Mom?" Ruby's weak voice breaks through my tirade and I twist my head to the side in order to see what she's talking about. Her eyes are wide, shock clearly pulling at her features with cocked brows and parted lips. She's staring straight ahead, at the couple I hadn't recognized when I first arrived. I was blocking her view of them while I was in front of her, and it's the first time she's getting a clear sight of them. "Dad? What the hell are you both doing here?"