Love Songs (Secret Songbook #1)

by Jamie Campbell

  She imagined Eli was taking notes of all the important things Mr. Baron was saying. He probably got good grades, he was a smart guy. He would never excel in academics because of his hectic training schedule with the football team, but he had the capacity to. She just knew it.

  She wondered if he liked English class or whether he found it just as boring as she did. Maybe. Perhaps taking notes was a way to quell the monotony.

  A piece of paper rolled up in a ball landed on Kaley’s desk, jerking her from her daydream. She looked around, trying to work out where it came from. Harper was staring at her, wide eyed. She had been caught. Again. And by the one person who would know what she was thinking about.

  Damn it.

  She opened the note, it read:

  Reconsidered band yet?

  She shook her head, silently answering the question. She was relieved, Harper obviously wasn’t aware of how she had been obsessing about a certain guy sitting in the back row. One less thing to explain after class.

  “So who can tell me where Shakespeare was born and the inspiration for all his greatest love stories?” Mr. Baron stood at the front of the class and looked for volunteers. He didn’t get any, next he looked for victims.

  Kaley didn’t put up her hand, even though she knew the answer was Stratford-upon-Avon and Anne Hathaway. She nearly always knew the answers in her classes, but she would never put up her hand. She was too afraid of getting it wrong or being looked at by the others. She was happy being invisible in times like these. It meant she could fly under the radar.

  Mr. Baron picked on a guy in the second to last row – he didn’t know either of the answers. It frustrated the teacher just as much as Kaley. He wasn’t asking anything difficult, it was in last night’s homework questions. Obviously she was the only one that had done the required reading.

  The minutes ticked by painfully slow. When the bell rang again, it was like a reprieve to end the torture. The only good thing was that Mr. Baron didn’t have time to dish out any homework. They would get the night off, a real treat.

  Kaley’s next class was gym, not her best subject. She and coordination did not belong in the same sentence. She hated the stupid games they were supposed to play. She would never get picked for anything, she was usually assigned to the team who had chosen second – the leftover.

  Not that she ever added anything to the side. It wasn’t like she ever kicked a goal or returned a volleyball serve. She wasn’t built for physical activities, not everyone was. Kaley had made peace with that fact in kindergarten. If only she could convince the teachers of that, too.

  Today’s gym class was particularly bad – hockey. A whole class of girls running around with sticks, all trying to hit one little puck. A lot of the time legs got in the way and they didn’t particularly mind hitting a stray one if it meant winning – merely collateral damage.

  Kaley took her position at the edge of the field. The sun was hot as it hit her dark hair. She watched the game like she was a spectator and hoped the action wouldn’t come anywhere near her.

  She knew nobody would pass the puck to her, she was invisible after all. On the odd chance they would see her, they would know she would probably miss it anyway. That’s usually what happened.

  She shuffled from foot to foot, holding the hockey stick like a walking cane in front of her. At least it was something to lean on. She slowly and subtly edged her way to the left where a large shady tree was beckoning her. The limbs of the elm would give her some relief from the blazing sun. It might save her from fainting with heat exhaustion or getting all sweaty.

  Making it to the tree, nobody seemed to have noticed. The game was going on at the other end of the field – three girls all trying to get the puck under their control. It would be forever until they found their way to her end.

  She looked over at the girl defending the goal closest to her. She was the athletic type, being on both the real hockey team and the basketball team. Her name was Miranda and she was paying the utmost attention to the game, completely intent on defending her position.

  Kaley sighed with boredom. At least she hadn’t thought about Eli for at least an hour since leaving English class. There was nothing in hockey that reminded her of him.

  Yet she was still finding little things that did the trick quite well. Like Miranda’s helmet looked like the one Eli wore while playing football. The gym teacher was also the coach for the cheerleaders who were at every game Eli played in. The sky was as blue as their uniforms. She could find Eli in everything if she looked hard enough.

  While she was lost in her daydreams, Kaley didn’t see the puck heading straight for her. Girls started yelling but she never thought they were directing their calls at her. She didn’t even have time to react before the black puck hit her leg – just above the knee. She went down before she realized what was going on.

  The teacher blew her whistle and the game stopped mid-play. Girls wandered off, returning to their post until it was time to go again. A few stayed to watch Kaley as she writhed around on the grass, clutching her leg. The pain was radiating out in waves as if someone had lodged an axe in her thigh.

  “Beth, help her to the nurse’s office,” the gym teacher ordered, completely lacking any sympathy. Kaley was just another casualty, yet another uncoordinated girl that couldn’t get out of the way of the puck. “Come on girls, let’s pick up the pace a bit.”

  She clapped her hands, blew her whistle, and threw the puck into the center of the field. The game restarted without any fanfare.

  Beth, one of the others who had been defending the far reaches of the field, helped Kaley to her feet. She had to hop and limp, but she could walk if she leaned slightly on Beth.

  She could probably have walked a little quicker if she had wanted to, but she got the impression Beth wasn’t interested in getting there any faster either. If they took their time, they could miss the rest of the game and wait for the bell to ring.

  “Sorry you had to miss the game,” Kaley started to make conversation. She felt she had to say something while she was leaning on her shoulder.

  “I don’t think I was actually playing in it anyway. The most exciting part was when you were hit with the puck. I doubt they’ll be able to top that while I’m gone.”

  “I’m glad you found some joy in my pain.” Despite the words, Kaley was smiling. She didn’t really know Beth very well, but she knew enough to know she didn’t dislike her. She had never said or done anything bad to her, she was just another one that never really saw her.

  Unless she was hit by a hockey puck, anyway.

  They reached the nurse’s station and Kaley was ordered to sit on the bench and wait. Beth was ordered to stay with her in case the nurse needed her further.

  The nurse’s station was really just one room with two beds, separated by a curtain so worn it was almost see-through. The nurse, Miss Adele, was in her forties and nice enough. She could be rather mean when she wanted to, but was usually fair.

  She had a good eye for when kids were faking injuries to get out of class or to be sent home. She usually dealt with them swiftly, giving them horrible tasting syrups that would cure any ailment. If you had been at the school for more than a term, you knew not to mess with her.

  Kaley could hear voices behind the curtain, Miss Adele had another patient. It was a female voice. Kaley tried to place it – she thought for sure she recognized it. Her and Beth both pretended not to listen. However the longer they spoke, the more difficult it became.

  “It’s really itchy, Miss Adele. Can you give me some cream or something?”

  “The rash looks rather nasty. Have you been scratching it?”

  “I can’t help it. What do you think it is?”

  Miss Adele paused to think it over. “I don’t know. I’ll give you this lotion but I think you should go see your doctor. You don’t want to be playing around with that part of your body. It could have serious consequences.”

  “Let me try the lotion.”
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  Kaley and her chaperone exchanged a glance, Beth had a face that showed she was imagining a disgusting rash on the girl. It must have been bad or she wouldn’t have got permission to be out of class to visit Miss Adele.

  As she was finishing up, it finally came to Kaley who belonged to the voice. As soon as the name came to her, she was certain she was right.

  It was Abigail sitting on the other side of the curtain.

  She kept the information to herself, just in case she was incorrect. But she knew she wasn’t. She would recognize her anywhere – she spoke at every single school function about something or other. Even when she wasn’t scheduled to she still found a reason to be in the spotlight.

  Miss Adele finally finished with Abigail and came to inspect the damage done to her leg. It was aching where she had taken the blow, but she figured she would survive.

  Miss Adele agreed. “You’ll live,” she concluded. “It didn’t break the skin so it’s going to hurt for a while. You’ll also have a killer bruise there. Something to be really proud of.”

  “Can I do anything to reduce the swelling?” Kaley could see her leg getting bigger by the minute. It was at least half as large as the left one above the knee.

  “I’ll get you an ice pack. Do you want me to call your parents?”

  Kaley looked at the clock on the wall. It was almost time to go home anyway, but she normally walked. She guessed that would be out of the question that afternoon.

  “Yes, please.”

  Miss Adele nodded and took down the number. It would be better coming from her than Kaley. Mother Barbie would probably be busy with one committee or another and wouldn’t appreciate the call to duty. She wouldn’t be able to say no to the school nurse.

  She returned after only a few minutes.

  “I got your father, your mother wasn’t answering,” Miss Adele informed her. It didn’t surprise Kaley. “He’ll be right over. He asked if you could wait outside in the usual spot.”

  Kaley thanked her and Beth for their help before making it outside on her own. She had to hobble to her locker to get her bag before waiting outside by the fence. She felt guilty for interrupting her dad from his work just to pick her up. It wouldn’t look good for his promotion. She hoped he didn’t miss out just because of her.

  She had another twenty minutes to wait before Strom Thorne pulled up to the curb. He still looked like a science nerd, dressed in a black suit and tie. His thick rimmed glasses covered half of his face and his hair needed a cut.

  It was a good thing he wasn’t hired for his looks. Not that he wasn’t handsome, just unkempt. He could use a good makeover to make himself a thousand times more attractive. His wife had been trying to do that for years and had gotten nowhere. Kaley didn’t even try, she liked the way he didn’t care. He was beautiful inside, that was all that mattered.

  “Thanks for picking me up,” Kaley said as she climbed into his silver sedan and closed the door. “I’m sorry to bother you during the day.”

  “Not a problem, peanut.” He smiled. “Are you okay? The nurse said you took a hockey puck to the leg?”

  “Yeah, they got me a good one. I’m going to have a bruise I can be proud of, apparently.”

  “You’ll finally get some street cred.”

  Kaley laughed, her dad always tried to use lingo he heard on the radio. “I guess so. Thanks for the lift, anyway.”

  “I’m glad I got to see you, it feels like ages since we’ve spent any time together. What’s going on in your life?”

  It had seemed liked forever since they’d been alone together. Between his working and her homework, they rarely saw each other at night. A quick breakfast before hurrying off was normally as close to having a conversation as they got. And even then, Georgie was usually buzzing around talking about something else.

  “Not much, Dad. It’s pretty much just school.”

  “What about Harper, is she good? You’re still friends and everything?”

  “Yeah, Harper’s great.”

  “And the boys? They aren’t giving you any trouble, are they?” Strom risked taking a look at her, making sure he was getting the truth. He had never had a sixteen year old daughter before but he’d heard plenty of horror stories from the men in the office about their experiences. He didn’t want any boy sniffing around his daughter, it was far too dangerous.

  “There’s no boys,” Kaley reassured him. She didn’t add that she would have liked there to be boys around. Especially one in particular.

  “Good. High school boys are bad news. I know, I used to be one.”

  The words gave Kaley an idea. Her dad was once a teenage boy. Perhaps he would be able to give her some insight about what goes through their minds. She was desperate enough to try anything.

  “What do guys look for in a girl, Dad?”

  Strom was torn between wanting to answer honestly and needing to say the right thing. “Well, they look for a nice girl. And a pretty one too. Why, is there a boy you would like to know better?”

  “Kind of.”

  “You want my advice, peanut?” He waited until Kaley nodded before continuing. “Just be yourself. There is nothing more attractive in a girl than one that is happy with who they are. Be yourself and I’m sure the boys will come flocking to you.”

  “I’ve been myself for sixteen years, Dad, and they’ve never come flocking.”

  “You haven’t always been the blossoming young woman you are now. It won’t be long before you are beating them away with a stick. Which reminds me, I should get a stick. If you won’t beat them away, I will.”

  It would have been nice to believe every word her father muttered, but Kaley knew better. The chances of boys lining up to date her, for them to even see her, was virtually impossible.

  Nothing about her felt like she was a blossoming young woman. She still felt like the ugly duckling that perhaps one day would turn into an ugly duck. There was no beautiful swan in her future.

  Despite her cynicism about her father’s view of her, Kaley couldn’t help but smile. At least there was one man in the world that thought she was beautiful and wonderful, even if that one man was her father. She missed their talks.

  When Kaley was growing up, she would always spend time with her daddy – he insisted on it. While her mother was out organizing a fundraiser or dinner party, he would take her for walks along the beach or teach her about the stars in the sky.

  Their time together was always precious and it was always fun. He would make everything seem magical, even when it was just something ordinary like a tree.

  The older Kaley grew, the less time they seemed to spend together. There was always homework to do or somewhere to go with Harper. She seemed to need him less and less which upset both of them.

  Kaley made a note to herself to make sure she spent some more time with him. No matter how busy they were, they should always have time for each other.

  They were family.

  They arrived home and Strom left his daughter alone to return to work. But only after she insisted she was fine. She was happy to have some time alone before her mother got home and started fussing over her. She would act like the bruise on Kaley’s leg was the end of the world. She considered not telling her at all, but then Strom would let it slip before bedtime.

  The song she was writing had played in a loop in her head all day. Whenever she thought of Eli it would start playing again and she would be unable to get it to stop.

  She closed the door to her bedroom and picked up her guitar. It rested right on the spot where her bruise was forming, she tried to shift it slightly. The discomfort would be worth it to get the damn tune out of her head.

  She started strumming, repeating the parts she had already worked out and then adding the latest lines.

  It’s a little bit magic, that thing that you do,

  It’s in the nod of your head, the twinkle in your eye,

  No matter what you do, you cannot deny,

  That I’m spellbou
nd by you, you, you.

  She found the right key and played it over and over again until she was satisfied with it. She wrote it in her book, committing it in pencil only.

  Sometimes it took her only minutes to write a song, other times days or even months to find the right words. When they were particularly special to her, it would take longer because she would insist on perfection. It wasn’t like she had to rush.

  You look my way and it’s hard to hide,

  When I’m suddenly breathless, laid bare by your smile,

  It’s like everyone else has just disappeared,

  And it’s only me and it’s only you.

  It wasn’t long before Kaley was lost in her music. She didn’t notice the throbbing in her leg or the front door open when her mother arrived home. All she could hear were the chords and all she could see was her music sheet lying on the bed in front of her. It was all she needed.

  I stand to cross the room so I can be by your side,

  My heart is pounding I don’t know if I’ll survive,

  And then you reach out your hand,

  And you hold me so tight,

  In that moment, I know I’ll be alright.

  “Hello, honey, how was your day?” Georgie stuck her head in the doorway, not bothering to knock.

  “Fine.” She quickly closed her songbook, keeping it away from prying eyes. And there were none more prying than her mothers.

  “I have a missed call from your school on my phone, do you know anything about that?”

  “I took a hockey puck in the leg. It was Miss Adele calling to come and pick me up.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry. How did you get home?”

  “Dad picked me up.”

  “Oh. Is it bad?” Her face was already crinkled in anticipation of it being nasty.

  Kaley held up her guitar to reveal the swollen leg and the bruise that was starting to turn a pretty shade of blue. “It looks worse than it really is.”