Changing Lanes (Highway 17 #1)
Page 22
“Afternoon, ladies. Hey, baby.” Hardy bends to kiss her. “Brannon is running a little behind, he said to ask you to wait.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I smile.
“Now that you have some time, I can show you my plans for the building,” Thayer suggests.
“Sounds great,” I agree.
“While you all do that, I’m going to file these receipts.” Hardy excuses himself.
I can’t believe I’m running late. I’m taking Torrie to dinner and a movie, we haven’t been on an official date. When we were in college, we did everything together, but at night or the weekends, we were happy staying in.
I’ve arranged with my mom to get Andi from school so we can make it an early night. Torrie and Andi have become partial to their bedtime rituals. I adore watching them together. Torrie is so afraid she’s going to do something to hurt Andi, she treats her so tenderly.
I leave the site, driving over to the office. Torrie’s there with Thayer, working on the landscaping design. I stopped at the florist's to pick up some flowers for her, I searched and searched but nothing seems to fit. She’s like a lily among weeds, she stands out. That’s it.
I tap on the door before opening it and walking in. Torrie’s face lights up when she sees me, she’s so damn beautiful. I take a few steps toward her as she stands to greet me. Her flowers are behind my back so she doesn’t see them right away.
She leans in to kiss me, and I watch as her lips take mine. Her lips pressed against mine makes my pulse speeds up. I caress her jaw as her lips linger on mine, and she quivers from the touch. A coughing sound from the door breaks us apart, still we stare into each other’s eyes for a few more seconds.
“Are those for me?” Hardy asks from behind me.
“No, sorry, man, it’s Torrie’s turn today.” Winking at him, I present the flowers to her.
“Lilies? How did you know?” Tilting her head in question.
“I didn’t. I just thought, ‘she’s a lily among weeds, she stands out’.” She kisses me again, as Hardy chuckles.
“Hey, hush it. You need to take notes.” Thayer hurls a pen in Hardy’s direction.
“Notes for what?” One joins us.
“Romance. Ol’ Brannon here has got romance on his mind. He bought flowers, came up with a meaningful reason. Romance.” Hardy elbows One.
“Romance? I fucking rock that shit.” One walks into the room with swagger.
“Yeah, that’s why we had a meeting on how you should date Lea.” We all start laughing.
“Yeah, that’s why we have kids, cause y’all helped.” He straightens his sleeves and leans back.
“Romantical, not sex.” Hardy hits One in the back of the head.
“Romantical? Okay, man, you do know that isn’t a word, right?” One shakes his head at Hardy. “I’m just saying, you’ve got to have the romance or you’ll not get to the good stuff,” One explains.
“That equates to children? Ummm, could we have a little romance? I’m not ready for as many children as Lea and One have.” The room erupts with laughter.
“Man, it’s the best. I love my bunch.” One’s smile stretches across his face, he’s beaming with pride.
“I can see that.” Torrie smiles with him.
“It’s never been easy, I’m not saying that at all. Lea just makes everything right, so the romance is natural,” One explains.
“So, where are you kids off to?” Thayer asks.
“It’s a surprise,” I answer.
“Woooo, bring out the big guns,” Hardy teases. “Naw, man. Y’all have fun, don’t do anything we wouldn’t do. Well, Thayer and me. It’s obvious what One would do.” We burst into laughter.
“Alright, guys. Y’all have a good evening.” I say as I place my hand on the small of her back.
“Bye. And, One, I wouldn’t mind nine children, Brannon does have a place big enough for them.” Torrie winks at him.
“Hell, Torrie. We’ll build you one, that’s what I’m doing,” One replies as we leave them chuckling.
I turn to her once we’re out the door to ask. “Are you serious?”
“About what?” she says with a smirk.
“About what? Nine kids.” My eyes are the size of saucers.
“You don’t want anymore?” she asks as she gets into the SUV.
Sliding into the driver’s seat, I answer her, “Yes, I do. I didn’t think you wanted any.”
Starting the vehicle, I pull out onto to the highway. We’re going south, driving toward the beach. I try to stay upbeat, knowing at some point I need to talk to her about something. I stare out my window, thinking of different scenarios of how this could go down.
“Did I upset you?” I question, she’s been quiet.
She’s nervous, her voice comes out shaky. “No. Not at all.”
“So, you do want kids?” I hesitate but ask anyway.
“I do. I want as many as you’ll give me.” Turning to me, she smiles.
I take her hand, kissing it. “If you only knew how amazing that sounds.”
“I think I do. I have a few things I still need to tell you.” Her words are blanketed with concern.
“I know, we have a lot to discuss. For one, your work.” I talk as if I’m marking off a list.
“Agreed. I’m thinking of calling my mother tomorrow. I need some advice, and she’s the expert on my father.” I’m not sure how much help she’ll be, but Torrie needs to start somewhere.
“You think she’ll be okay with us?” I’m worried.
“She was always okay with us. She thought you were handsome, I think, ‘strapping’ was her word for you. I can’t wait for her to lay on eyes on you now.” She reaches over to feel my muscle.
I look over at her, grinning. “Oh, you like that, do you?”
“Damn straight I do. Although, I have no clue what’s happened to my mouth.” Torrie laughs so hard, I join her.
“I happen to like your mouth just the way it is.” I wiggle my brows. I’m such a smartass.
I slow down, turning the signal light on. We pull into Aspen Grille. They specialize in southern cuisine. The parking attendant opens her door, helping her from her seat. I appear at her side as the attendant parks the car.
“I hope you enjoy this place, the food is outta this world,” I whisper in her ear as we’re being seated.
“I’m already impressed, we didn’t have to wait.” She smiles and picks up the menu. “What do you suggest?”
“Knowing you love surf and turf, I want to suggest something like that, but honestly”—I glance at her— “the pan seared flounder and shrimp. You’ll love the okra.”
“I love you.” I’m not sure why she needed to say it now, but I feel like I’m about to combust.
I give her a sincere smile. “I love you.” We order our food and silence fills the air between us. There’s no good way to say it, I need to know.
“So, your father. Have you given any more thought on how to deal with him?” Wait. She purses her lips, she knows we need to discuss this now. “I take it you haven’t.”
“I’m sorry, I haven’t. I know this job has but a few weeks left, but I still don’t know how to handle it.” She shakes her head slowly.
“Are you…going home?” My voice quivers with every word.
She scans the room, doing anything to keep from looking at me. “I know this isn’t what you want to hear but I don’t see any way around it.” I nod. “I’m hoping my mother can help clear some of this up for us.”
“How’s that?” My brows pull low over my eyes.
“She may know his plans for retirement. When I have the company, I can work it from here. I don’t have to live in New York to run it.” She looks at me expectantly, but I don’t know what to say.
“You’ll be going back until he turns the company over to you,” I say quietly.
“I know it’s not what you’re wanting, but I’ve worked so hard to get it. I just need a little longer, please.” Tak
ing my hand in hers, she squeezes it.
“Torrie, I can fly up there. I’m sure we can stay undercover to make sure you get what you’ve worked for.” I return the squeeze.
“Are you sure? I mean, it’s more than I could ever hope for, but if you don’t mind, it’s perfect.” She’s shocked I’m okay with this arrangement.
“I told you, I’m here. Forever.” Our food arrives as does the lighter mood. The topic of her father could kill anything.
After dinner, I decide we can get my truck from the office tomorrow. We stop for milk to go with Andi’s breakfast, I go in while Torrie stays in the car. I slide in, shaking my head.
“Did you see the young girl walk out before I did?” She nods. “She bought a pregnancy test. She’s a baby. The cashier tried to be an asshole to her about I.D. or some shit. Since when do you need one to buy a pregnancy test?”
“Maybe she also bought the ‘Morning after pill’?” she offers.
“Maybe. Still, where in the hell is the dad? Why is she doing everything by herself?” I rant.
“Some women have to do things by themselves, Brannon. Not everyone has you.” Her response is flat as she stares out the window.
“It makes me crazy, sorry.” I reach for her hand but she pulls away. “What?”
Shaking her head, she tries to play it off. “Nothing, I’m sorry.”
Turning onto the farm’s road, I stop where we can’t be seen from the house. I twist in my seat. “Torrie, I know you’ve been hurt, but I’ll never regret having Andi or being here for Ava. I’m sorry if it bothers you.”
I’m not sure what spins faster, her in the seat or her damn head. “Why would you feel the need to say such a thing? I have never and will never fault you for being here with Andi, or Ava. What kind of person do you think I am?” What in the fucking hell?
Bounding from the SUV, she jerks her heels off, as she runs through the fields toward the barn. I call her name before starting the SUV and continuing up the drive. I’m not sure what just happened, but I park and chase after her.
I open the door to the barn, leaving it open as I sneak around the side. I’m hoping he’ll go in and I can leave without facing him again tonight. He calls my name, the door slams, and I make a run for it around the corner. I think I’ll make it when he snatches me by the wrist.
“What the fuck, Torrie? What are you doing?” he yells at me. Funny thing, my father has yelled at me many times but his face has never looked like Brannon’s. He looks scared.
“Let go. Please, just let me go,” I beg him.
He’s having none of it as he drags me into his arms. “Baby, calm down. You scared me, that’s all. I’m not angry,” he repeats until I calm somewhat. “Here, come in here for a minute.”
I jerk my hand away from him, and he looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “What?”
He switches the light on, then turns to me. “Tell me why you’re upset?” I wipe my face to no avail, the tears keep coming.
“Not right now, I can’t,” I reply irrationally.
“I can’t even believe I’m asking this, but are you jealous of Ava for having my baby?” His face is marred with confusion.
“No. And for once, can we leave Ava out of this?,” I spit at him, my face red with anger.
“Then tell me why you’re so angry over Ava and Andi.” He’s bewildered, his face is pinched together in concern.
“I refuse to discuss this, I’m going home.” I wheel around, tromping to the door.
“Torrence, don’t you dare leave me right now.” His words make me falter, I turn on him. Everything I have held back for ten years comes out. At least about this subject.
“What is it you think you want to know? Am I jealous of Ava? Damn straight I am. Am I jealous that she had a child with you? Fuck yes. Am I jealous she gets to share this with you? Yes. Yes. YES. Now, do you want to know why?” He nods as his eyes narrow. “Because she has everything that should have been mine, and she doesn’t even appreciate it.” Animosity dripping from my words.
“Torrie, take a deep breath. I’m not following you.” He reaches for me, but I jerk away. I can’t calm down, I’ve held it in too long.
“Don’t touch me, I don’t want you to touch me,” I demand as my lips tremble.
“Okay. Torrie, you’re scaring me. Just tell me what you want to say.” His hands are up in the air, his eyes wide, fearful.
Shaking my head, the tears come faster. “I can’t, you’ll hate me. I’m afraid you’ll hate me as much as I hate myself.”
“No, baby. No, I won’t. I could never hate you.” His voice is little more than a whisper.
“I’m jealous she got to keep her baby. I’m mad as hell that I didn’t. I wanted it so much. A piece of you and me, together forever. Here I am, wanting a family with you, and I’m not even sure if I can pregnant again.
“I laid there for such a long time, on my bathroom floor. The pain was the worst thing I’ve ever felt, blood was everywhere. I had no one. No one to call, no one to help. I cried for what felt like hours. Finally pulling myself up to get to my phone, I called an ambulance.
“I stayed in the hospital for two days, I couldn’t tell anyone. Even if I had tried, who did I have? I was alone, losing our child on the bathroom floor while she carried Andi. I lost everything, while she got all I ever wanted.
“I hated you then.” I’m enraged with the memory. “Still, I laid there, praying you would show up. Come back to tell me you wanted me, you were there to stay. That you would take care of us. But you never came, only loss came. I wanted him, I planned to keep it from my father until I was far enough along that he couldn’t do anything about it.
“About five years ago, I got the courage to tell my mother. She cried for me, for us. For the grandson she would never get to hold. I think of him all of the time, the nightmare that claimed him. The days following when I went to the cemetery, by myself to bury him,” I explain as tears fill my eyes.
“I hated you. I hated my father,” I scream. “Most of all, I hated me. I blamed myself for mourning you for so long, for pushing myself too hard in school. All because I fell in love with you.” My chest feels tight, and I begin to gasp for air. I bend over, and he steps toward me. I put my hand up. “Don’t. Don’t you dare, not now.”
“Leave her the fuck alone, Brannon.” Ava walks through the door, and I spin around. “She’s not worth it.”
“You don’t even know me. And for your safety, you’re going to want to step away from me,” I warn her.
“Ava, leave. This is not the time for your shit,” Brannon yells as his veins pop on his forehead.
“She’s the one who killed your kid and buried it without you.” She points at me, her face red.
God help her, when I raise my arm, I slap the taste out of this bitch’s mouth. My hand vibrates when it connects to her face. Brannon grabs my arm before I swing again. Ava holds her face as she looks up at me. “Don’t you fucking dare. At least I love what he gave me.” I yank my arm from his grasp. “Let go of me, damn it.”
I storm out the door, Brannon on my heels. “Torrie, please wait,” he pleads. “Please don’t do this, don’t drop this on me and leave.”
I round on him, seething with tears that seem to not stop. My chest heaves with emotion. “Do. This. To. You?”
“That’s not what I mean, I’ll say anything right now to get you to stay.” The headlights from my car hit his face, he’s crying.
“No. You already have your family, it’s time for me to realize it and stop playing house.” I slam my door.
“Please, don’t leave. Please, don’t leave me.” My exact words ten years ago play in my head. Just as I stop, Ava stands by the barn door. I shake my head, putting my SUV in gear.
Roaring down the dirt drive, I slide as I hit the pavement. Slowing down a bit, I do my best to compose myself. My purse is on the floor, with my phone which keeps ringing. I’m sure it’s Brannon, but I think he has enough to deal with. Besides, t
hey’ll want me to stay away from Andi after me slapping Ava.
All of this is my fault, I’m wrecked about it. Every fucking day, I think of him. It ripped my heart out when I held him. I buried him with Brannon’s name, Adan Winston O’Hurley, born March 4th 2007.
A perfect little boy, never given the chance by anyone. The first few years, I visited him every month. Some months, I still do. Others, it’s longer in between. But I go on his birthday, March 4th, to talk to him. Telling him how much I wish I could’ve kept him.
Opening the garage, I pull in and drag my ass in the house.
Sinking into the tub, I let the day’s events take their toll. I slide deep into the water, crying until I can’t shed another tear. My body aches, my head hurts, and my heart is a battered vessel. I pull myself from the cold water, drying off ever so little. I pull a shirt over my head and drag panties up my legs, bed has never been so welcome.
In the distance, I hear someone calling my name. Sweet, innocent voice laced with concern. She plays with my hair, cooing gently to me that everything will be alright. Wrapping her arms around me, she asks me to wake up. I feel my hair move again.
Opening my eyes, I see a smiling Thayer. Lea lays behind me, her arm around me as she sings. “Hey, baby. How are you?” Thayer whispers.
I fight to keep my eyes open, why can’t I wake up? I try to speak but my throat is dry and it comes out raspy. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“We came to check on you, it’s been a couple of days. It was either we came or Brannon. So, One drove us over and once we knew you were okay to an extent, he left to tell Brannon,” Lea explains as I sit up in bed.
Thayer hands me some water. “You’ve been out cold, scared us at first. We shook you a few times and you mumbled.”
“We didn’t want to call an ambulance. Did you take anything or were you drinking?” Lea asks.
“No, no way. I only have five Valiums, and I’m supposed to take them as I need them to sleep.” I hand Lea the bottle from my purse. Please don’t ask me why. “Did Brannon tell you guys anything? About what happened?”