Fatalism

by LK Collins

  “I’ll go get you both something from the cafeteria. I’ll be right back.”

  He didn’t wait for us to confirm that we even wanted anything. I loved how he took charge. I watched him stroll to the elevator; he pressed the button and put his hands in his jeans pocket waiting for the car to arrive. He looked delicious today in light jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. His hair was messy, and I could tell he had been running his fingers through it.

  Bridgette elbowed me. “Holy cow. Where did you find him? He’s a keeper.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at her comment. She was right. He’s a keeper.

  “We met on your birthday at 9th Door. Now he happens to work with me. What a small world, huh?”

  “No way. Is he an attorney?”

  “Yeah, and he is also a partner at the firm. I’ve broken about every rule to be with him, but so far, he’s worth it.”

  She smiled at me. “I’m so happy for you. You deserve it.”

  “Thanks. I feel lucky.”

  “You should. Did you see the way that he looked at you? He’s really into you. I’m always here if you ever need relationship advice.”

  “Thanks,” I said.

  Bridgette had never offered me support, and quite frankly, I was so new to this dating thing that I might even take her up on it.

  “Babe, will you please eat something?”

  I shook my head. I didn’t feel like eating. I had been a ball of anxiety all weekend. What had started out with so much potential soon turned out to be so hard. Vivian was still sedated, and they planned to keep her that way until she was strong enough for surgery. She needed a stent placed in one of her arteries. All of the tests had confirmed that she had stage four lung cancer, thus complicating the entire process.

  “Please, you have barely eaten anything for two days. I don’t want you getting sick because you’re famished.”

  I knew Vincent was only trying to help. I pushed my spoon around my wonton soup and took a small sip of the broth. It tasted bland and I just didn’t have an appetite.

  “I won’t get sick from lack of food, or famished, as you like to call it. If you force me eat this, then yes, I might get sick.”

  The guilt I felt for Vivian was horrible. I had turned my back on her three years ago, and now stood in limbo waiting for her to improve. Worst of all, there was nothing that I could do to control the situation, and that was a hard pill for me to swallow. Normally, I would take charge and handle things, but in this case, all anyone could do was sit back and wait. Vivian needed time for her body to get strong and that’s what we gave her.

  “Fine. If you won’t eat your soup, is there anything else that sounds appealing?”

  “I guess I could go for some ice cream.”

  “See, that wasn’t so hard. Ice cream is better than nothing. Do you want to get out and walk to the ice cream shop? Some fresh air may do you well and help to clear your mind.”

  “Yeah, that sounds nice. I feel like we’ve been sitting in the hospital all weekend.”

  I was on the floor nestled next to the coffee table leaning against the couch. I much preferred to sit down here. It was more comfortable to eat here than in the formal dining room. Poor Vincent couldn’t fold his legs up enough to get comfortable on the floor. I guess when you’re over six feet tall you have to think about those things. He reached for my hand, linking our fingers together and helped me up.

  We walked outside, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. The sun was hot on my skin, warming me from the inside. We cut through the street and onto a gravel path that led us towards the entrance of his neighborhood. Down a block from there was a small strip mall with an ice cream shop.

  Vincent had been overly supportive these last two days and spent every moment with me at the hospital. He was patient and made sure Bridgette and I had whatever we needed. He was a huge help in keeping up to date with the nurses and doctors on Vivian’s progress.

  “Thank you for spending the weekend with me at the hospital. I know it’s not what you had in mind, but I couldn’t have made it through the last few days had you not been there with me.”

  He lifted our linked hands and kissed the inside of my wrist, “Of course. I’ll always want to be where you are. You’re right, it isn’t what I had in mind, but as long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”

  The walk was nice. When we arrived, the place was crowded. I ordered some chocolate ice cream in a waffle bowl, and Vincent settled on a cone with mint chocolate chip. We got our treats and took them outside to enjoy the sun.

  “I need to talk to you about something,” he said. “I know you have a lot going on with your mother, but Charlie revamped the menu at Lazio’s, and he’s having a grand re-opening this Friday. He asked if you and I would go.”

  “I have plans with Cara on Friday night.”

  He licked his cone, and I watched his mouth suck on the ice cream.

  God, that’s hot.

  We hadn’t had sex in almost two days. By the time we would get home from the hospital, the exhaustion took over, and I would already be asleep in the car. Vincent had to carry me inside both nights and was out cold as soon as he hit the mattress next to me.

  “Then bring Cara. The more the merrier. I think Abel will be there, so at least she’ll know someone besides us.”

  “Okay. I’ll talk to her about it tomorrow. I’m sure it will work out fine.”

  He kissed my nose and left a cold feeling lingering from his lips.

  “Really? That’s all I get?”

  “What else do you want, beautiful?”

  I wiggled my eyebrows at him as he laughed.

  He cocked his head to the side and hunger burned in his eyes. “How about we go in the bathroom?”

  I didn’t doubt that he would actually take me in the bathroom here. I shook my head at him as I stood and he scooped me up in his arms.

  “What are you doing? I can walk home.”

  He playfully swatted my backside and set me down on my feet. We linked our hands together, and I grinned, thinking about what we were about to do to one another when we got back to his place.

  “I like you calling it home.”

  My phone rang, interrupting him, and I swatted his backside as I answered it.

  “Hey, Bridge. What’s up, doll?”

  “Mom’s awake. She was getting really restless, so they weaned her off of the sedation.”

  “Oh, that’s great news. We’ll head down there now.”

  “No, Lex, don’t. I called to make sure you weren’t on your way. She didn’t wake up too happy and has been saying some really mean things. I told her that you’ve been here all weekend and also about Vincent. She said that ‘clearly you’ve made your own decision and chosen a man over your own family.’ I didn’t want you to come down here and get yourself upset. Stay with Vincent, and I’ll keep you guys updated. They said she is strong enough to not be sedated until the surgery as long as she stays calm. I’m so sorry, Lex.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “I love you.”

  “Love you too. Bye.”

  Fucking Vivian. I knew she wouldn’t change. I was done with her. I wrapped my arm around Vincent’s waist and leaned into him. He held me tight while we walked in silence. He knew me so well, he knew when I needed space and when to let me just be.

  We approached the house and walked up the front stairs in sync. When he opened the door, I couldn’t control myself. I threw myself at him like I did the first night we met. He caught me with one arm and kicked the door closed.

  Our mouths touched and his lips sent electricity though my system. He kissed me with his soft lips, and I enjoyed sucking on them. He squeezed my body when I did that, and it made me want him even more.

  We stumbled backwards towards the living room. Once we reached the couch, I fell onto it. The soft fabric was cool on my hot skin. He lowered his body on top of mine and cupped my sex. I was in a summer dress with no underwear on, making it easy for Vincent to to
uch me. He separated my pussy lips and rubbed my clit up and down with two fingers. I bit his lip because I couldn’t keep kissing him, the pleasure was too intense. He slid two fingers inside of my wet core and slowly circled them while his thumb rubbed my clit.

  I reached down and massaged his erection through his pants. His mouth moved to my neck and across my chest. He left a trail of kisses on my delicate skin. Taking his free hand, he pulled down the top of my dress over my breasts. His other hand was still inside of me, moving in and out slowly. I was enjoying his expert touch. I reached into his pants and aggressively squeezed his cock. He latched onto my nipple with his mouth. I jerked his cock and imagined him inside of me. Suddenly, he stopped and looked in to my eyes.

  “Fuck, Lex. You’re going to make me come.”

  I smiled at him, not realizing how carried away I had gotten. He kissed my neck, and I lost all consciousness. I laid there enjoying the attention. I heard his zipper go down and looked up to see him guide his cock in to my pussy.

  Once he was all of the way inside of me, he removed his t-shirt. Vincent grabbed my leg, resting it up against his body with my foot next to his head. He held me tightly and started to move. I had never had sex with a man while my leg was stretched up the length of their body. It was hot as hell watching him grip my skin as he slid in and out of me. I had to close my eyes because the pleasure was almost too much to handle. This angle was intense and pushed me close to coming.

  “Fuck, baby,” I whimpered as he started to pound me.

  “You like that? You like it when I fuck you hard?”

  I whimpered again and nodded my head. I couldn’t hold back any longer. His words pushed me over, and I came hard. My orgasm exploded around his cock as my muscles tightened and flinched. He came with me, moaning loudly and pumping himself inside of me long and slow.

  Vincent lowered my leg and laid on top if me. His cock was still nestled inside of me, and I wrapped my arms around him.

  “What did Bridgette say about your mom?” he asked.

  “Just that she woke up and is in a shitty mood. She’s back to her normal self and doesn’t want me there.”

  “Why wouldn’t she want to see you? Doesn’t she realize that you’ve spent all weekend there worried sick about her?”

  “Bridgette said she told her that both you and I had been there, so she knows.”

  He looked in to my eyes. “Then why don’t we go see her? I’m sure once you’re there she will be happy.”

  “I don’t know. You don’t know how she can be.”

  “Come on, baby. I’ll be right there with you. I wish I could have one more time with my mom. Don’t have regrets.”

  I nodded my head. Vincent gave me the strength to do things I normally wouldn’t.

  He stood and eased out of me and I hated not having him inside of me. He reached for my hand and helped me up. I was amazed that he was still hard as I looked down as his impressive erection, but he was insatiable.

  We dressed and went into the garage. We drove the Range Rover, which was nice and comfortable. It was roomy on the inside and had the darkest tint on the windows. It almost made it hard to see outside.

  We parked in the nearly empty garage and took the elevator down to the main entrance. Vincent grabbed my hand and guided me along the way to Vivian’s room.

  As we stood outside of the room, I felt sick to my stomach. Vincent lifted my head. I was staring at the floor and nervous as ever.

  “Hey, you can do this. Don’t be scared. Remember, I’m right outside of the room if you need anything.”

  I nodded my head, and he kissed my nose. I turned and opened the door, Bridgette and Vivian were talking. They both looked at me, and I could see the surprise on their faces.

  I turned to close the door and I saw Vincent standing right there.

  “Hey, what are you doing here, Lex?” Bridgette asked.

  “I wanted to stop by and see how you both were holding up. I couldn’t just stay home after you called.”

  I looked over at Vivian, and she was staring at the wall. She wouldn’t even look at me.

  “Has she been like this since she woke up?” I asked Bridgette.

  Before she could answer, Vivian turned to me, and anger burned in her eyes.

  “No, Alexa, I have not been like this since I woke up. It’s just been since you walked into my room uninvited. Your sister told you that I didn’t want you here. What in the world would make you think that I wanted to see you or have anything to do with you? You’re the one, three years ago, who abandoned me. Did your dumb-as-shit brain forget that too, like it has everything else?”

  Her words were venom, and they hurt. I went to open my mouth, and before I could speak, Vincent was behind me. Tears filled my eyes, and I felt his touch on my wrist. I thought twice before I stooped to her level and tried to hurt her the way that she had hurt me. He had ahold of me, and I turned my back, wrapping my hand tightly in his and walked out of the room.

  “Get me out of here, Vincent. Now.”

  “I got you, baby.”

  Tears rolled down my cheeks, and I wiped them away with the back of my free hand. When we reached the Range Rover, Vincent opened the passenger door and moved the seat all the way back.

  He lifted me in his arms and moved us into the car. He shut the door, and I clung onto him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into him. I let everything out, every bit of anger I felt towards Vivian that I wanted to tell her in person. The tears seemed to be never-ending.

  Vincent tightened his hold on me. “I’m so sorry, baby. We shouldn’t have come here.”

  I shook my head and tried to calm myself so that I could speak.

  “It’s okay. That’s how she always is. I tried and that’s all I can do.”

  “I can’t believe the way she spoke to you. You’re her daughter.”

  “That’s the way she has been my whole life; ever since I can remember.”

  “Why? I don’t get it?”

  “She was diagnosed with depression and bipolar disorder when I was very young. She never took her pills consistently. And it literally made her crazy; my childhood was a battle of survival. As the years progressed and I grew up, she got worse. For myself, I found it was better to cut ties. I told her to call me when she was ready to make a change and take care of herself. The call never came, and it’s been three years.”

  “I couldn’t imagine having a mother like that and growing up in those conditions. I’m so sorry, baby.”

  “It’s okay, there’s nothing anyone can do. I know I will never have a relationship with my mother and tonight just proves that.”

  “Damn it, Vincent. If you let me oversleep one more time, I’m not going to have sex with you for a week.”

  He wrapped his big arms around my waist from behind. “Oh come on, love. What did you do before me? Surely you made it through life by waking up on your own.”

  “For one, I wasn’t having all this mind-blowing sex that keeps me up late and exhausts all of my energy. Then, there’s the fact that I sleep with goliath the grizzly bear. You’re like an electric blanket, and when I’m warm and comfy, it puts me into a comatose state.”

  He laughed out loud and got out of bed to start dressing. “Goliath the grizzly bear, really?” he said, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Fine. Point taken. You’re mighty feisty this morning,” he said.

  “What can I say? I overslept again, and here you are, getting dressed in another one of your three-piece suits. What is it with you and suits? Do you always have to wear them?” I tried to keep a straight face while I was having fun picking on him.

  He kissed my nose. “Yes, babe, I do. We have court today, remember. We want a verdict so we can finally tell everyone at the office about us dating. Plus, don’t act like it’s just the suits. You act the same way when I’m in basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and a hat. I should be the one complaining about you wearing those damn stockings and no underwear every day. You know I can see your
legs perfectly from my desk and that shit keeps me hard all day?”

  He was right, it didn’t really matter what he was wearing, I was turned on regardless. He was gorgeous and that was putting it lightly. Now that I knew he could see my legs from his desk, I planned on playing with him a bit.

  “Point taken. I’ll be sure to not cross my legs when you’re in your office.”

  “Fuck,” he muttered, running his hands over his face.

  It was quarter ‘till noon, and I was starving, I grabbed my purse and headed to the elevator. I was going down to the lobby to get a salad and eat out by the lake. Vincent had been in court all morning, and I missed him. I checked my cell phone, but there were no new calls or texts.

  A new message chimed in from Bridgette:

  Mom’s the same. I miss you. Maybe we could have dinner this week?

  My poor sister had not left Vivian’s side while she was in the hospital. It angered me that she felt obligated to spend so much time there.

  I texted her back as I waited for the elevator. When it finally arrived, I froze in my tracks as Vincent was staring at me. A mischievous grin spread across his face.

  “Vince, what are you doing here?”

  He grabbed my arm pulling me along with him. He walked with purpose, taking long strides. “Come with me, and I’ll tell you.”

  I pulled my arm away, afraid someone would see us. He didn’t skip a beat and continued walking as I followed quietly. Once we were inside, I closed the door behind me and turned towards him. His back was to me, and he was staring out the windows.

  “Vince, what’s going on?”

  He turned, pinning me with his gaze. I was unable to move, my breathing became rapid.

  “Babe, we won our case! I came here to surprise you.”

  I was elated. I knew how much this case meant to not only Vincent, but to Liam and C.J. as well. They had spent so much time preparing, and with the new evidence they had, pushed hard for a verdict. It came faster than I would have thought, but I never doubted them.

  “I’m so happy for you. I knew you would win. You’ve never lost a case. Tell me all about it. How did you get a verdict so quickly?”