Fatalism

by LK Collins

  He brushed the loose strands of hair off of my face and said, “I’ll tell you later, baby. I have been waiting to do this all day.”

  He leaned down possessively, as only Vincent could do, placing his mouth over mine. He walked us backwards towards his desk. When my legs touched the wood, I leaned onto it and instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. Pushing my tongue into his mouth, we explored each other like it was the first time. Maybe it was the excitement of the verdict, or the fact that I had missed him all morning.

  He lifted my skirt and slid two fingers inside of me. “Mine,” he murmured. I moaned in response, unable to speak. He gently pulled his fingers out and separated my wet lips by running two fingers in between the slickness. I reached for his belt, un-buckling it as fast as I could while he shrugged his coat off, and threw it aside.

  I unzipped his pants, freeing his erection. Gripping his length with both hands, I stroked it incessantly. Vincent continued to torture my clit, rubbing it with his fingers in the perfect circular motion before he slowly slid two fingers inside, all the while, never taking the pressure off my clit with his thumb.

  “Fuck, babe. You’re so wet. Did your tight little pussy miss me?” I whimpered and pushed him towards my opening. He gladly exchanged his two fingers for his beautiful cock.

  “Oh, fuck. Yes it did.” He gripped my hips, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. He filled me and stared down at my body stretched across his desk, my arms rested above me on the cool cherry wood. He slid in and out of me at an aggressive pace. I reached up for his glorious hair, pulling him to me in search of his mouth. He kissed me again, moving with precision and pushing my body closer to coming. I was all sensation, as he was on top of me fucking me and kissing me in perfect unison.

  “Come with me, love.” His words were all I needed, and in that moment, all of my fears washed away. The word love didn’t scare me, it ignited me. I ran my fingers through his hair and linked my hands at his neck. Staring into each other’s eyes, I knew he felt it too. We didn’t speak it, with Vincent we didn’t have to.

  My eyelids were heavy, and I was nestled on the couch, wrapped in my favorite throw, enjoying some TV with Cara. We shared a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, tomorrow was the open house at Charlie’s restaurant, and surprisingly, Cara seemed excited to be going with us. Although she had been giving me a hard time all week about spending so much time with Vincent. I think deep down, she was just looking out for me and didn’t want me to get hurt. But she made me agree to spend the night away from him tonight and it was killing me.

  “What time do you want to get our nails done tomorrow?” she asked.

  I shrugged my shoulders and snatched the ice cream back from her. “It doesn’t matter to me, I can take my lunch whenever.”

  “Do you think you could leave a little early so we could get the works? I mean, make up, hair, and nails? It would probably only take an extra two hours?”

  “I’m not sure. Let me ask my boss real quick.”

  She chuckled at me, and I handed her back the ice cream.

  My fingers deftly flew over the touchscreen of my iPhone.

  Would you mind if I left work a little early tomorrow to get pampered for your dad’s re-opening?

  He responded right back.

  Hmm, I’m not sure you deserve to leave early. You’ve been quite naughty this week. It also depends on what ‘getting pampered’ entails?

  Hey there mister, I’ve paid for my naughty tendencies with plenty of spankings. Pampering will entail hair, nails, and make-up. Oh yeah, and a good waxing.

  Cara leaned over my shoulder. “So, what did he say?”

  I pressed the phone against my chest, hiding it from her. It vibrated and I glared at her. “Let me check it, and I’ll tell you. Stop being so damn nosey.” She rolled her eyes at me and flipped though the channels on the TV.

  Ooh, a waxing. I like that. Then YES, you can definitely take the day off.

  Thank you. I can’t wait to see you, I miss you already.

  I miss you too. Sleep well, my love.

  Since that morning, when he first called me ‘love,’ he had been saying it more often. Neither of us had spoken the words to one another, but I knew how he felt about me, and I felt the same for him.

  “All right, we are good for tomorrow. Will you make the appointments since your off all day, and can you find somewhere for us to get waxed?”

  Her eyes bugged out of her head. “Waxed? Really? Since when do you get waxed?”

  I shrugged my shoulders and acted like it was no big deal.

  “I cannot believe the things you are willing to do for him.”

  I threw a pillow at her face, and she tossed it right back at me.

  “Stop giving me a hard time about Vincent, I mean it, Cara. I am already staying the night away from him tonight so we can have some girl time.”

  “Okay, I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “I won’t, okay? Plus what does staying a night apart have to do with getting hurt?”

  “You guys just met and have been spending every minute together. I think a little space would be good.”

  I rolled my eyes and blew out a deep breath. “Cara, you can think whatever you want, but I’m tired so I’m going to bed.”

  “I’m sorry, Lex.”

  I turned around. “It’s fine, Cara. I’m just tired. I need to sleep, and my mood will be better tomorrow.”

  I went to my room and crawled into my bed. I couldn’t sleep. I laid there and thought of Cara and how she had no right to tell me that Vincent and I had been spending too much time together. She was the one that fell hard and fast. She always got her heart broken and was the last person that should be giving relationship advice. For once in my life, I had a good thing, and I wasn’t going to let her interfere.

  I checked the clock, it was almost midnight, and I had yet to fall asleep. I grabbed my phone to text Vincent, but I didn’t want to wake him up. I decided to head out front and watch the stars for a while. They always seemed to make me sleepy. It was warm and dark, the sky was clear and moon was bright. I sat on the front stairs and pulled my knees up into my body.

  As I looked up into the desolate night sky, I wished that Vincent was sitting next to me. I missed him so much. I couldn’t sleep without him. Dammit, I was twenty-eight years old, and I was not going to have anyone tell me what I could and couldn’t do.

  I got up and went inside the condo. I grabbed my phone off of my bed, and I went to the front door, grabbing my purse on the way. I fumbled for my keys in the dark and locked the door. I slid into my car and searched for the ignition key. On the ring was an unfamiliar key. Normally, I only had my car and house key on there, but now there was a third key that was long and silver. It looked like my house key, but I didn’t put it on there. Vincent would’ve been the only one to have added it.

  Thoughts of him being so sweet and caring made me want to get to him even faster. I wanted to crawl into his arms and then we could just sleep for the night. I pulled out of the driveway and thought about calling him, but I decided that it would be better to not wake him. Hopefully the key on my ring was to his house. What else could it go to?

  As I turned downed his street it was dark and silent. I got out of my car and quietly closed the door. I walked up to the front door and found the new key on my ring. Slowly, I slid it into the lock, and it fit like a glove. I turned it effortlessly, and I felt the lock move with it.

  I couldn’t believe he gave me an extra key to his house and told me nothing about it. I walked into the dark house and closed the door behind me. I took my shoes off and set my purse on the table next to the door. As I moved through the house, it was silent.

  I reached the top of the stairs, and to my surprise, he wasn’t sleeping. Before me, Vincent was sitting on my side of the bed with his head in his hands. His back was to me, and he was naked from the waist up, only wearing a pair of shorts. I quietly walked over to the bed as he ran his han
ds over his face.

  It was as if he was in pain. I crawled across the bed and my movements caused him to turn. Before he moved his body, I clung onto him. I kneeled behind him, sliding my arms underneath his, and gripped his chest. He moved his hands over mine and leaned his head into me. I rested my check against his shoulder.

  “What are you doing here?” he whispered.

  “I couldn’t sleep. I needed to be with you.”

  “Why didn’t you call me?”

  “I was going to, but I didn’t want to wake you. Why are you up?”

  “I told you, Lex, I have insomnia. I can’t sleep without you.”

  I removed myself from the tight hold I had on his body. He turned to look at me, and his eyes were red. It looked as though he had been crying. I pulled the covers back and patted for him to climb in. He did and I followed. Vincent turned me so that my back was to him. He pulled my body tightly against his taking a deep breath, once he had me securely in place.

  “Vince, is this what you do every night? Do you just sit here?”

  He squeezed me tighter and kissed behind my ear. “Yeah, it is. For the past five years this has been what my nights consist of.”

  “Why for five years?”

  He took another deep breath and pressed his lips to my shoulder. “Five years ago is when my mom passed away. I don’t know how to get over it.”

  “What happened?”

  “We were driving, and our car was struck by a drunk driver. I was behind the wheel, but there was nothing I could do in that moment. The car lost control and slid off an embankment. The next thing I knew, we were airborne, and all I heard was her screaming. When the car finally came to a halt, she was silent. There was blood all over her face. I screamed and yelled for her, but she was gone. Her eyes were open, but behind them was nothing, they were blank. I tried to get out of the car, but I couldn’t. So, while I sat there and waited for help, I just looked into her eyes. I wanted her back more than anything, and all I could hear were her screams over and over in my head. Since that day, every time I close my eyes, minus when I’m with you, I hear her screams and see her haunting eyes.”

  I rolled over and faced him. Tears were in my eyes as well as in his. I tightly hugged him and pressed my wet cheek against his chest.

  “Baby, I had no idea that’s how you lost your mom. I’m so sorry.”

  “It was horrible, and I miss her every day. But I feel like she is looking down on me, and is proud of the man I’ve become.”

  I pulled away and looked at him. He cupped my neck and ran his thumb over my cheek. In that moment, I knew that I needed him as well.

  “Thank you for trusting me to tell me about your mom. I need you just as much as you need me. I’m not letting Cara tell me what I can and cannot do, so we will spend every night together.”

  “Do you have any idea how happy you just made me? Being sleep deprived makes me crazy, and knowing you’ll be here calms me. I’ve not talked about my mom’s passing to anyone since it happened. It feels good to get it off my chest. I really don’t know how I have lived my life as long as I have without you.”

  I couldn’t help myself from kissing him. It felt so good to firmly press my lips against his and instantly be calmed by our connection.

  “Baby, you make me happy every day. I’m glad that I was the one you opened up to. I’ll always be here for you. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”

  He smiled at me and reached for my wrist. Taking it in his hand, he kissed the inside of it. “Good, because you’re everything I’ve ever wanted and needed.”

  I woke, cool and restless. Not my usual morning. I reached for Vincent, but he was gone. I looked over to his pillow, and in his place, there was a single white rose. I reached for it and pressed it against my nose. It smelt sweet like only a rose could. It was nothing compared to how he smelled, but it would do.

  I reached for my cell phone to text him and thank him for the rose. On my nightstand was an envelope. I opened it to find a handwritten note, a single car key, and his black Amex card.

  Baby,

  Take today off of work. Go shopping and buy whatever you and Cara want, along with something to wear tonight. The card has no limit and the key is to the Bugatti. I won’t take NO for an answer. Thank you for making me the happiest man alive.

  Enjoy your day.

  Until later, only yours, XOXO Vincent

  Holy shit. Was he for real? Screw texting; I grabbed my phone and called him. I wanted tell him how much I loved him, but that would have to wait till we were in person. He didn’t answer, so I left him a voice message.

  I couldn’t wait to tell Cara what he had done. I’m sure she would let go of protecting me, once she found out what he did for her and I today. I got out of his bed, taking my rose into the kitchen to put into water. I placed it on the kitchen island and collected my things before going into the garage. Tucked away in the corner was the black and red beauty I’d come to love. I slid into the sleek red interior and got situated. Pulling out of the garage, my stomach was in knots from excitement. Driving home I was responsible, but I really wanted to see how far I could push this car. It took all of my control to not floor it.

  I pulled into our driveway and went inside yelling for Cara. She didn’t answer, so I went upstairs but her room was empty. I came back down and into my room to take a shower. Just as I set my purse on the bed, Cara burst into the room. She was wearing her full running gear, earphones, sports bra, tennis shoes, and yoga pants. “Where is he, Lex? His fucking car is in the driveway.”

  I dangled the key at her and shook my head, “Nu uh. It’s our car today.”

  Her jaw fell open. “No way. Why?” I handed her the note, and she read it in a way only Cara could do and fell onto my bed in the most dramatic fashion. Her arm rested on her forehead as if she had fainted.

  I smacked her playfully. “You know, you should have been an actress, not a nurse.”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “Sure, and you, my friend, should’ve been a singer.”

  I threw a pillow at her and stormed into the bathroom. She yelled something back at me but I couldn’t understand her. She knew I couldn’t sing to save my life. I turned the shower on and steam quickly filled the room. I took my time lathering, washing, and shaving.

  I wanted to be perfect for Vincent tonight, to repay him for giving me this special day. I hopped out of the shower refreshed and ready to venture out with my best friend. I dressed in a pink terry cloth sweat suit. It was supposed to rain today, making it a bit cooler than normal. This allowed me to pull out some of my fall clothes. I slid on a pair of flip-flops to ensure my pedicure stayed pristine. I left my room to grab a fresh cup of coffee from the kitchen. When I walked into the living room, Cara was signing for a delivery, and a man was setting two vases of white roses on the counter.

  I grabbed the card that was tucked inside of them, knowing they were for me.

  Thank you for last night.

  Only yours, XOXO Vincent

  The doorbell rang, interrupting my way train of thought. I set the card down and opened the door, allowing the delivery guy to leave before I could see who was outside. A cute Asian girl was standing there with two Starbucks cups and a bag in her hands.

  “Alexa Schaefer?” she asked.

  “That’s me.”

  She smiled and handed me the items she was carrying. “These are for you. Enjoy.”

  I took the Starbucks and turned towards Cara. When I turned around to thank the girl, she was gone.

  “Oh my God. This is so over the top,” Cara said.

  I walked to the couch and set the coffees on the table. Over the top was an understatement, but that was Vincent. Everything about him was over the top, and he was all mine.

  “I don’t even know what to say, Cara.”

  She laughed and took one of the drinks out of the carrier. “Well you need to thank him. But first we have to get going, or we’re going to miss our appointments. I just called and
moved them up.”

  I grabbed my coffee and peaked into the Starbucks bag. It had two croissants in it, my favorite. I didn’t want to eat in the Bugatti, but I knew what Vincent would say if I told him I had worried about the crumbs and not eaten again.

  I turned out of the driveway and noticed the neighbors staring. The noise the engine made as I peeled out onto First Avenue, maneuvering about was sexy as hell. It was hard to believe that Vincent trusted me with this car, out of all the cars he could have lent me.

  Thankfully, Cherry Creek Mall had valet. I didn’t even want to think about where to park this thing. When I turned into the mall, I followed the signs for the valet. I think every person around us turned their head. We acted like this was our everyday car, but climbing out, I was a little shy in my sweat suit. I felt like I should be wearing something designer. Vincent was comfortable driving this in his basketball shorts, so I shouldn’t worry about my sweat suit.

  Our first appointment was to get waxed. I was nervous and didn’t know what to expect, but it went over without a hiccup. I was only doing it for Vincent, I knew how much he was going to like it. Thinking of his expression when he saw my freshly waxed sex; had my heart racing. Next we got our hair done, then make-up and nails. We ended the day with a little shopping. Being with Cara was always so fun. She was a confident free spirit and never cared who was looking at her.

  After an exhausting morning of pampering, we were in the dressing room at Niemen Marcus. The poor sales woman must have thought we were crazy with the number of dresses we had taken in to try on. I came out in, what had to have been, the tenth dress.

  “Oh my God. That’s it. That’s the one,” Cara said.

  I had on a gold satin floor-length dress that had one strap on the left shoulder decorated in black Swarovski crystals, leaving the other shoulder open. The right leg had a long slit going up the front, exposing my thigh, and it hugged my waist and hips flawlessly.

  “You think so?”

  “Yeah. Vincent is going to die when he sees you wearing this.”