Recklessly Ever After

by Heather Van Fleet

  The hand that wasn’t on Chloe’s head trembled against my thigh. I squeezed my nails into my palms, willing my head to shape up or ship out, because I couldn’t fathom the thought of Gavin not being in my life.

  Conversation between the three women surrounded me, happy giggles and talk of the wedding. I sighed, wishing I could join in the celebration. But doing so only hurt my heart more. So I looked down at Chloe in my lap instead, eyes blurring with unshed tears.

  She’d barely moved in her sleep, other than the slow rise and fall of her chest. The little girl seemed so at ease with me, her fickle self only wanting to sit on my lap, not her grandma’s or her aunt’s, not her dad’s or her Mama Addie’s, a name she’d only just recently started saying. It felt natural having her there, which was something I hadn’t expected.

  Is that what it’d be like with my own child? One with Gavin’s smile or green eyes? Sandy-brown hair or curled, bow lips? Was that excitement brewing inside me at the simple thought of imagining myself with Gavin, raising a child that was one part him, one part me, one part all his or her own?

  His boy. A son? His girl. A daughter?

  The couch indented as Addie sat on my other side. “You okay?” she asked, her hand on my shoulder.

  When I looked up, I spotted Mrs. Montgomery smothering Lia against her, rocking back and forth in a monstrous hug, oblivious to me, thank goodness. It was bad enough that I was concerning Addie with my quiet mood. She was set to get married tomorrow, yet there I was, worrying her with my crap.

  “I’m fine.” The truth was too big to keep from my best friend, but for tonight, I had to try.

  Addie tucked her arm through my elbow, and I laid my head on her shoulder. There the two of us sat, quiet and contemplative, our minds likely worlds apart from each other.

  As if sensing the tension in me, Chloe rolled onto her back, her gaze locking with mine. I held my breath as she studied my face. She blinked a few times, likely attempting to remember where she was, maybe even who I was. Just when I was sure she was seconds from bursting into tears, she smiled softly, curled herself closer to my stomach, and touched a hand over the small bump just showing through the middle of my sundress.

  I shut my eyes and inhaled shakily through my nose, fighting back the tears.

  God, talk about a sucker punch.

  Footsteps sounded from behind my couch. I blinked opened my eyes just in time for Lia and Mrs. Montgomery to stand and greet our visitor.

  “Hey, Dad,” Lia said first, waving. Mrs. Montgomery smiled fondly at her husband, stepping closer to kiss his cheek. They shared a look, one of contentment and love. It pulled the chain a little harder around my heart, seeing a married couple of their age so incredibly in love.

  Mr. Montgomery’s resemblance to his son was uncanny. Same eyes, same hair, same bone structure in the face. But he was much softer than Collin was. He wrapped an arm around Lia’s shoulders and hugged her to his side. “You ladies need me to take her?” He glanced down at his granddaughter.

  Addie nodded. “Sure. She’s exhausted.”

  He looked at me, his brows furrowed a little. It was unnerving to be under his scrutinizing stare, even as kind as he was. The man radiated silent power, probably from years of protecting his family. “I’ve got an observation, if you will. One that my gorgeous wife can assure you is based on good intentions.”

  My shoulders grew stiff. I looked to Mrs. Montgomery, whose eyes held an expression that was soft and sincere. “Oh?” I’d never talked to this man, other than a hi or bye in passing. So what observation did he have that was suddenly so important? And why did this feel like an intervention?

  He cleared his throat, looking uncomfortable as he rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “Well, see, I’ve learned about your dilemma. And…” He looked at Addie, then Lia, then back at his wife, who nodded him on. “Gavin was telling me how you’re not sure you want to be a mom.”

  My jaw locked.

  Just. Fucking. Great. Did everyone need to know about my life choices?

  “Dad.” Lia touched his arm, her voice a warning. “If you even try to mansplain this, I’m gonna—”

  “What? No. I don’t mansplain.” Lines formed between his eyes as he scowled at his daughter. “Your mom and I just want her to know that we weren’t prepared for children when we got pregnant with Collin.”

  “So? What does that have to do with Kenna here?” Lia propped her free hand on her hip.

  Mr. Montgomery smiled at me, his face suddenly warm and welcoming. I didn’t look away, mainly because I wasn’t one to back down with the unexpected. “Children are a blessing, but you know what? Not wanting them doesn’t make you any less of a person. That’s my two cents.” He winked at me, then motioned for Chloe, hands wiggling. Had he been talking to Gavin about this? Obviously. The thought warmed my chest that Gavin could count on this man, even if things looked grim.

  A strange sense of approval washed over me just then. These people I barely knew, they’d come together in reassurance…for me.

  Mr. Montgomery pulled Chloe close against him. She stirred again, her eyes popping wide against his chest. “Papa,” she whispered, giving him a sleepy smile, only to snuggle against him as though he was her own version of a superhero.

  I waved at him and Mrs. Montgomery both, contemplating his words, wondering if under different circumstances, my own dad would have said something similar.

  “You should listen to my daddy. He’s a smart man.” Lia grabbed the wine bottle off the table, sticking it under her arm. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go wait for my Maxwell in the hot tub.”

  “Night, Lia,” Addie said, laughing under her breath.

  With a smile, I curled my feet up onto the couch. Addie did the same, still tucked close to my side. We didn’t get to do this much anymore—be just me and her, no men.

  “You ready for tomorrow?” I asked.

  “More than my next breath.” There wasn’t a doubt in her words.

  A large, picturesque window sat over the fireplace. We couldn’t see anything but a few random stars, but it was peaceful, nonetheless—and the exact opposite of my current emotional state.

  “Is it scary knowing he’ll be it for you?”

  She shook her head. “It’s almost as if I’ve found something I didn’t know I was missing.”

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek, comparing my thoughts to hers. “No regrets? No thoughts of running away?”

  Addie didn’t answer right away. I wondered if she was asleep and leaned forward to find her eyes starry, her smile wide. “Sorry. I was just thinking of that night in O’Paddy’s when we first met Collin and Gavin.”

  “You mean the night you pulled a me and left them both in the parking lot like a little kid?”

  “Yeah. Not one of my finer moments. I know.” She rolled her eyes, pausing for a moment. “Do you remember what you said to Gav at all?”

  “In my inebriated state, there’s no telling what I said.” Sadly, that night was basically a blur.

  “Yeah…” She grinned widely. “So you kind of told him that he was going to be your future baby daddy.”

  My mouth dropped open. “You’re shitting me.”

  She giggled. “Nope. Irony is a total bitch, huh?”

  I pressed my hands over my face and groaned as she started singing the song.

  “Seriously, Addison? Ironic?” I snorted. The wackiness of my bestie never failed, even on the night before she was to get married.

  “Come here, you.” She reached for my hand and yanked me up.

  “You’re nuts.”

  “I know.” Eyes twinkling, Addie whipped out her iPhone, found that ridiculous Alanis Morissette song about irony, and banged her head to the beat as she sang along.

  Because I was an impromptu karaoke addict, I started singing too. We dance
d and sang so loud that I was sure the owner of the inn would be coming down to ream us out at any second. But the longer we sang and the louder we got, the less I cared. And the less I cared, the more I realized that fate and irony went hand in hand, giving you things you wanted, even if you didn’t realize that you needed them. Like Addie needed Collin and Chloe. Like Lia needed Max. And I needed Gavin.

  I’d been scared for so long about decisions and screwing up that I’d forgotten what it was like just to live. The impulsivity my mother had warned me away from had given me something that made me happier than anything else in my life, and I wasn’t just talking about dancing in the middle of a fancy inn.

  Talk about irony.

  Once the music ended, we hugged each other tight. Addie was the one to speak first, and what she said was a doozy. “He loves you so much, Kenna.”

  I pulled away to look at her, my smile slipping away. “Gavin?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. He looks at you as though you hung that moon in a world of endless stars.” She flung her hands into the air and tossed her head back.

  “Oh, poetic Addie.” I laughed and patted her back. “It’s a good thing you’ve found your Prince Charming.”

  She hip-bumped me, and my pregnant ass nearly wobbled to the floor. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder, steadying me. “I’m not the only one, you know.”

  I scoffed. “Yeah, Lia and Max are quite the pair, huh?”

  “Don’t be dumb. I’m talking about you, goofy.”

  Wrapping my arm around her back too, I guided her to the hallway silently as she continued to chat about us being able to live the dream. And even as we laughed our way into what she called the Mississippi Suite, I couldn’t help but believe her words. She might have been tipsy, but she was right. Addie was always right.

  “I’m getting married tomorrow.” She turned to me in the nearly darkened room and smiled widely. “Can you believe it?”

  I leaned against the doorframe with my arms folded. “Yes, you are, beautiful. Yes, you are.”

  She sighed, spread her arms out to the sides, and fell flat on her back against the mattress. Minutes later, she was asleep. And as I crawled onto the bed beside her and tossed the blankets over our bodies, I realized just how lucky I was to call her my best friend.

  Chapter 27

  Gavin

  “Gavvy, Gavvy.” Chloe was running down the sidewalk outside the cottage when I closed the door behind me.

  “Hey, Beaner.” I got down on my knees to greet her and wrapped my arms around her waist in a hug. Tiny hands grabbed the ends of my hair as she snuggled close. I tickled her cheeks with my beard, loving her giggles. “Where are Auntie Lia and Max?” I asked, standing.

  A sensational pair of legs caught my eye from ahead, belonging to the woman I hadn’t been able to hold in my arms since late yesterday afternoon.

  “She’s too fast.” McKenna wiped a hand across her forehead, nearly tripping over the last step. “Damn little thing.”

  “Enna!” Chloe squealed. Just like that, I was dust when Chloe reached back for her new favorite of the week.

  “Oh, no, you little booger.” Eyes narrowed, Kenna poked Beaner in the stomach. Chloe giggled, curling forward in my arms. “I tried to hold you, and all you wanted was Gavvy, Gavvy.”

  “Because I’m awesome, right?”

  “Mmm, sexy as hell in a suit is more like it.” Kenna leaned forward and kissed me, lingering a while, until Chloe yanked my hair back.

  “Ouch.” I winced. “Cock blocked by a toddler. Never thought I’d see the day.”

  “Not blocked.” Kenna reached for my hand, a sly grin on her mouth. “Just delayed for a few hours.”

  I loved that she’d taken the initiative for once with PDA. Throughout the last month, she shied away from touching me in public. Didn’t mean she was second-guessing us, just that she still had something else on her mind. Today, though, as we walked up the sidewalk and around the building toward the gazebo, it felt like something had changed.

  “Did you enjoy your boy time last night?” she asked me.

  I pulled her hand to my mouth and kissed the back of it. “Not when all I was thinking about was you.”

  “A bachelor party with booze and card playing, yet all you do is think of me? You’re not normal, St. James.”

  “Nope.” Never would be either. And for once, I was okay with it.

  “Then it’s a good thing I have a soft spot for you.” She dropped my hand and grabbed the side of my pants, digging her fingers into my pockets.

  Goddamn, she was dangerous. “Nothing about what’s inside there is ever soft.”

  Chloe’s head popped up from my shoulder. She said my name around the thumb in her mouth and blinked.

  “Go find Aunt Lia and Uncle Max,” I said, motioning my head toward the chairs.

  She grinned as I set her down on the grass, and then her chubby toddler legs ran up the rest of the hill. She was dressed in a little white dress and wore flowers in her hair that fell out every time she moved.

  Once she was in Max’s arms, I focused fully on my woman. “You missed me last night too. Admit it.” I pressed my palms on both sides of her neck, dragging my thumb over her pulse. I felt her swallow against my hand, could see her chest rise and fall under the pale-pink dress that barely covered the curve of her swollen breasts. She looked so damn beautiful I struggled to breathe.

  She licked her lips. “I missed you…a lot, actually.”

  I smiled. The breath from her words warm on my mouth, and the admission burying itself deep inside my chest. Yeah, I wasn’t losing my mind. Something had changed with her.

  “Kiss me again.” I lowered my forehead to hers. “Show me how much you missed—”

  She did, not even letting me finish.

  Desperate hands clung to the front of my suit coat, nails digging into my chest. When she finally pulled away first, I couldn’t catch my breath.

  “That enough for you?” And she couldn’t catch hers either.

  I stared down at her damp lips and flushed cheeks, then her fluttering blue eyes. My heart tripped over itself in my chest at what I saw. What I’d wanted to see for months.

  McKenna Brewer had fallen for me.

  “Hey,” Lia yelled from the top of the grassy hill, doing nothing to break apart our stares. “You guys gonna come be part of this shindig, or what?”

  I was the first to smile, but Kenna didn’t budge, other than pressing her hand to her throat, her eyes wide with emotion at the same time.

  “Let’s go. Mrs. Maxwell is calling.” Confidence had me wrapping my arm around Kenna’s waist, pulling her toward the chairs set up along the top of the hill by the gazebo. She didn’t hesitate this time. If anything, she moved closer to me, as if the pull between us had only grown stronger.

  Collin nodded from the front of the altar, the grin on his face widening when he looked down at my hand along the curve of Kenna’s waist. With a nod back, I sat us down next to Max, who held Chloe in his arms. Lia was on his other side, while Kenna snuggled up to me from the right. Mrs. Montgomery was at the end of the chairs, a handkerchief in her hand as she looked up at her son.

  Collin and Addison had decided they didn’t want anyone to stand with them, and we were all okay with it, especially me now that I had my hands on my Kenna.

  “You look beautiful, by the way.” I leaned over and pulled her hair out of her face, nuzzling my nose against the crook of her neck. She smelled just like the flowers hanging off the gazebo ahead. Sweet and summery.

  She shivered, her thigh going flush with mine as she crossed her right leg over the left. I lowered my hand from around her waist, needing to touch skin. I pressed my palm to the top of that thigh and rubbed my thumb in a circle just below the hem of her dress.

  “You’re a tease,” she purred.

  “And
you’re in love with me, so it’s only gonna get worse.” It was meant to be a joke but came across as honest. Real. And when she leaned her head back to look me in the eyes, I didn’t see the run in her face this time. I saw the rawness of an I love you too on those lips I wanted on mine. She may not have spoken the words out loud yet, but two times now I’d seen their meaning in her gaze. And for now, that was enough.

  Music started playing from a speaker somewhere behind us. A breeze lifted a strand of my hair that brushed against McKenna’s cheek. She reached up, smiling as she grabbed the strand, then twisted it around her finger before she turned to focus on the reality of this day.

  Our best friends were getting married.

  As I stood and turned to look down the aisle, Kenna followed suit, her hand never leaving mine. Addie was at the end of a white runner, looking like summer and winter wrapped up in one white dress. She was gorgeous. I had to admit that, but nothing compared to the woman at my right. The one who’d stolen my heart. The one I couldn’t stop looking at as what sounded like Adele played through the speaker.

  I watched Kenna more than Addie. Her free hand went to her mouth and she cried, big, wet tears dripping down her face. But behind her fingers, I could see a smile on her cheeks. This wasn’t just her best friend getting married, I knew that. But her sister too. Just as Addie had become my sister in a way.

  Thinking of Collin and all he’d been through, I turned, finding his father by his side, an arm around Collin’s shoulder before he took his seat. Mr. Montgomery looked at his wife as he approached, then back at his son, and finally to his granddaughter, who was already up and trying to get to her dad.

  Like the hero he claimed to be, Max scooped Chloe up and set her on his shoulders. Lia sat next to him, dressed in a pink dress that matched Kenna’s.