Freedom to Love

by Carole Mortimer

‘You said you were involved,’ Adam prompted softly.

  ‘I was.’ She looked at him with something akin to resentment. ‘I ran after her, tried to stop her, but she—she didn’t hear me. The lorry—It—She died.’

  ‘And you—what happened to you?’

  ‘A broken leg, cuts and bruises.’ Her voice was flat, emotionless. ‘But she was dead.’

  ‘You poor kid!’ Adam came down beside her, pulling her into his arms. ‘And I had the nerve to trouble you with my bad dreams!’

  ‘But don’t you see, that’s why I understood. It’s such a waste,’ she said vehemently. ‘They haven’t even begun to live at that age.’

  ‘Neither have you.’ Adam gently pushed her long hair away from her face, kissing her softly on the lips. ‘Let’s go back to town, hmm? Maybe we could even go to the cinema. Would you like that?’

  Katy felt a bit like a hurt child being humoured, but she nodded her head anyway, grateful for Adam’s gentleness. ‘Does Jasper have a cinema?’ she asked.

  ‘I think so,’ he smiled. ‘But I can’t be sure.’

  It did, just, and they went in to see the cowboy film showing, buying a hot dog when they came out.

  Katy grinned at Adam. ‘When did you last go to the cinema?’

  ‘About fifteen years ago,’ he admitted reluctantly.

  ‘I thought so. It didn’t seem like your sort of entertainment,’ she explained at his questioning look.

  He grimaced. ‘I didn’t think it showed.’

  ‘It showed,’ she smiled.

  Adam stopped suddenly, bending to kiss the side of her mouth before carrying on.

  Katy ran after him. ‘Why did you do that?’ she asked shyly.

  ‘Tomato ketchup,’ he grinned.

  ‘Oh!’ She hoped her acute disappointment wasn’t too obvious. She liked it when he kissed her.

  The fire in their barbecue was completely burnt out by this time, the evening was very late. Katy got ready for bed in the bathroom as usual, wearing Adam’s shirt once again to cover her nakedness. As she came out Adam was waiting for her, still wearing his denims but otherwise naked.

  ‘Goodnight,’ she said shyly, and turned to her bedroom.

  In answer he swung her up in his arms and once again deposited her in his bed. ‘I meant it about you sleeping with me,’ he told her firmly. ‘We’re going to share a bed for the rest of your time here.’

  ‘Adam—’

  ‘I’m not going to touch you,’ he promised. ‘Well, maybe a little bit. I still need you near me, Katy, and I think you need me.’

  ‘But we can’t just sleep together!’

  ‘No one else has to know about it. But I can’t sleep without you—someone, sleeping beside me. And you like the extra warmth, admit it.’

  ‘I don’t like the passes, though,’ she lied.

  ‘No more passes. I’m experienced enough to control any urges I might get in that direction. I’ve never yet taken a woman against her will,’ he derided.

  But it wouldn’t be against her will, he knew it, and so did she. ‘You’re experienced enough to make me want you,’ she admitted frankly.

  ‘But we both know I won’t take you,’ he said just as frankly. ‘And we both know the reason why I won’t. So we sleep together,’ he yawned tiredly. ‘I’m not likely to tell anyone, Katy. I don’t want everyone to know I’ve been sleeping with a woman for over a week and haven’t made love to her.’

  Katy gave a shaky smile. ‘Not in keeping with your image, is it?’ she teased.

  Adam did provide extra warmth through the night, but even so she couldn’t seem to get warm. And then she came over all hot and had to move away from him, pushing back the covers in an effort to get cool. And then she was cold again, burrowing into Adam’s back as she tried to warm herself.

  It was like that all night, and Katy was glad when morning came and they set off to meet Jud. Adam had arranged to meet him in one of the restaurants in town.

  ‘You were a bit restless last night,’ Adam remarked as they walked down to the restaurant.

  Katy blushed. ‘I’m not used to sleeping with anyone.’

  ‘Is that the only reason?’ his eyes probed. ‘You look a bit flushed to me.’

  That surprised her, because she felt cold again. She huddled down into her coat. ‘I feel fine.’ That wasn’t strictly true, but she had been enough of a nuisance to him already without bothering him with the strange lightheadedness she felt.

  ‘Still cold?’ he frowned.

  ‘Mm,’ she nodded, repressing a shiver.

  ‘Winter certainly came in early—snow in September. Wait there.’ He halted outside a shop. ‘I won’t be a minute.’

  Katy walked up and down while he went inside, feeling warmer while still moving. He was back within minutes, carrying a small paper carrier bag.

  ‘Take off your anorak,’ he ordered.

  ‘Take it off?’ she repeated dazedly, looking at him as if he had gone mad.

  ‘Mm,’ he pulled out a thick cardigan. ‘You’ll be warmer in this. It’s an Indian cardigan, made to keep out the cold. Come on, try it.’

  The thick grey and cream cardigan zipped up the front, extremely warm, unbelievably so. ‘How much was it?’ she asked huskily, choked by Adam’s thoughtfulness.

  ‘Don’t be insulting, Katy,’ he snapped. ‘It’s a present. Do you like it?’

  ‘I love it,’ she told him shyly. ‘But I couldn’t possibly accept it. It must have been expensive and—’

  ‘And I can afford it,’ he finished firmly. ‘The important thing is, are you warmer?’

  ‘Much.’ In fact she was getting too warm now, beginning to feel uncomfortably so.

  ‘Good,’ his arm went companionably about her shoulders. ‘Hungry?’

  She was thirsty, very thirsty. ‘Not too bad,’ she prevaricated. ‘I really don’t think I can just accept this cardigan, Adam. It’s too expensive.’

  ‘Consider it payment for services rendered,’ he taunted softly. ‘Calm down,’ he chuckled at her furious expression. ‘I meant the use of you as a pillow.’

  ‘That doesn’t make it any better,’ she said crossly. ‘Don’t you dare tell your friend that we—that we’re sleeping together!’ Her face blazed.

  ‘I told you I wouldn’t tell anyone, and I meant it. But I think Jud will just naturally assume that our relationship isn’t innocent,’ he drawled mockingly.

  ‘He will?’ Her eyes widened. ‘Then I’m not going,’ she hung back. ‘I’m not going with you.’

  ‘Of course you are. I’ll explain to Jud if you like,’ he said as she continued to be obstinate. ‘Although I doubt he’ll believe me,’ he added scornfully.

  Jud didn’t. Katy could see the scepticism in Jud Turner’s face as Adam told him how she came to be travelling with him. It was obvious by his expression that he didn’t believe a word of it.

  Jud shrugged, as if to say, okay, if that’s the way you want to play it… ‘Do you have any idea where your sister and her fiancé are now?’ he asked her.

  ‘None,’ Katy told him resentfully, knowing he had already classed her as just another of Adam’s women.

  ‘I do,’ Adam surprised her by saying.

  She raised startled eyes. ‘You do?’

  ‘Well… not this exact moment, no, but I do know where they’ll be on Monday.’

  ‘Where?’ she asked eagerly.

  ‘Here,’ he told her calmly. ‘They told me to tell you that if you’d had enough of—my company, by then, then they would be here all day Monday.’

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me that before?’ she demanded angrily. All this time and he had kept something like that to himself!

  Adam shrugged. ‘I didn’t see the point—we may not be here by then. We could be on our way back down.’

  ‘But I could book into a motel,’ she protested. ‘Wait for them to turn up.’

  ‘And what happens if they don’t? Use your head, Katy, at least with me you’re with someone you
know, and I’ll make sure you get back for your plane next Saturday.’

  ‘Maybe she’s fed up with your—company,’ Jud put in mockingly, making the same emphasis that Adam had. ‘You may have a reputation as a stud, Adam, but—’

  ‘Jud!’ Adam warned dangerously soft. ‘Katy doesn’t want to hear about that. And neither do I, not in front of her.’

  Jud turned to give Katy a speculative look. ‘I see,’ he said slowly. ‘I apologise for my crudeness, Katy. It seems I’ve misunderstood the situation.’

  ‘It would seem you have,’ Adam agreed tautly.

  ‘I guess,’ Jud nodded. ‘Say how about we go back to Chrissie’s place after we’ve eaten? I would have brought her along if I’d known Katy was going to be here. Chrissie thought we wouldn’t want her around.’

  ‘I’d like to see her again.’

  ‘Adam,’ Katy cut in determinedly, ‘why didn’t you tell me about Gemma and Gerald being here on Monday? You must have realised I would have wanted to know.’

  ‘I told you, we may not be here,’ he said impatiently.

  ‘You had no right—’

  ‘Not now, Katy,’ he cut in firmly. ‘We can talk about this later.’

  ‘We’ll talk about it now,’ she told him stubbornly.

  ‘She’s one determined lady,’ Jud mused. ‘I’ll leave you two to chat, there’s someone over there I want to have a word with.’

  ‘Stop causing a scene,’ Adam muttered as soon as the other man had left them to stroll over to a table just to the left of them. ‘I didn’t tell you about your sister because I didn’t see any point in getting your hopes up. They may not turn up here at all, and then where would you be?’

  ‘Still stuck with you,’ she said insultingly.

  His eyes narrowed to glacial slits. ‘You’re lucky to be with me at all,’ he snapped coldly. ‘I could have thrown you out as soon as I realised you didn’t intend being the loving companion I had expected.’

  Katy gasped, ‘You wouldn’t!’

  ‘I wouldn’t now, no,’ he agreed. ‘But I could have done in the beginning. After all, I’m not getting anything out of this, only a bad-tempered female who doesn’t know when to keep quiet.’

  She knew when to keep quiet now, and hardly said a word throughout the meal. She listened to Adam and Jud as they talked about, the book, Jud apparently very pleased with the photographs he already had.

  Katy’s head was pounding, her throat sore, and the hot and cold periods seemed to be increasing. She kept the new cardigan on even during the hot times, not wanting to alert Adam’s suspicions. She was very much afraid she was going to be ill, and that was the last thing Adam would want.

  She went along with the two men as they went to Jud’s girl-friend’s house, Katy hardly aware of the surroundings as she was introduced to the other girl. Chrissie proved to be a tall leggy blonde, very attractive, with a beautifully clear complexion and laughing blue eyes. From the amount of male belongings lying about the place Katy assumed that Jud had more or less moved in.

  Chrissie must have been in her late twenties, but she looked much younger. ‘Do you ski?’ she asked interestedly.

  ‘No,’ Katy answered gruffly, hoping Adam wouldn’t notice the huskiness of her voice. He was a very astute man, and he seemed to know her better than she would have wished him to.

  ‘Katy isn’t staying on,’ Adam drawled. ‘In fact, if she could get away from me now I think she would.’

  ‘Don’t fish for compliments,’ Chrissie laughed.

  He grimaced. ‘I’m not likely to get any from Katy. She tells me exactly what she thinks of me. And I don’t think she altogether approves of me, or my way of life.’

  ‘No woman would,’ Chrissie told him. ‘You’re a chauvinist. We women are mere toys to you.’

  ‘There speaks the eternal Women’s Libber,’ Jud taunted. ‘She won’t even agree to marry me because she says I’d try to absorb her personality.’

  ‘So he just lives here instead—and tries to absorb my personality,’ Chrissie smiled.

  Katy admired the other girl’s forthrightness, noticing the way Adam admired her too. He obviously registered her as an attractive woman, and made no secret of it. Even feeling as ill as she did Katy could feel jealousy snaking through her, and wished Adam would look at her like that. But he saw her only as an inexperienced young girl, someone to tease and humour.

  ‘Only some of the time,’ Jud answered his girl-friend’s taunt. ‘She makes me keep my own accommodation,’ he explained. ‘Just in case she gets fed up with me.’

  ‘Or vice versa,’ Chrissie drawled.

  ‘I doubt that will ever happen,’ Adam smiled. ‘You have him well and truly trapped. Not that I blame him,’ he added warmly.

  ‘I hope you aren’t making a play for my girl,’ Jud joked.

  ‘I wouldn’t dare—I remember how you used to box at university.’

  ‘Katy might not like it either,’ Jud remarked softly.

  Right now Katy couldn’t give a damn about anything, wanting to just sit in a corner and cry her eyes out. She felt terrible, her ears starting to ache too now.

  ‘Katy couldn’t care less,’ Adam stated carelessly. ‘Could you?’ he rasped.

  ‘That isn’t a very fair question to ask her in company,’ Chrissie scolded. ‘Would you like a coffee, Katy?’

  It might help to ease the tightness of her throat. ‘Yes, please,’ she accepted gratefully.

  ‘I’ll help you,’ Jud offered, following Chrissie out to the kitchen.

  Adam sighed, giving Katy an impatient look. ‘Are you sulking again? I’ve never known a female like you for—’

  Just at that moment Katy fainted.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  WHEN she woke she was lying in a proper bed, a luxury she hadn’t known for several days. The sheets were cool and comfortable, although she felt very weak, too weak to move. The sun was very strong as it shone across the bed, causing her to blink rapidly.

  The bed-springs gave as someone sat down on the bed beside her. ‘Katy?’

  Adam! Her eyes fluttered open again, lighting up joyfully. ‘Where am I?’ Her voice was croaky.

  ‘Wait a minute.’ Adam sounded almost gentle, bending forward to pour her out some sparkling cold water from the jug on the side-table. ‘Drink this,’ he encouraged, helping her sit up to swallow some of the refreshing water.

  ‘Adam, I—I don’t have any clothes on!’ The covers had fallen back to reveal her nakedness.

  ‘I know,’ he replied calmly. ‘We put some of Chrissie’s nightgowns on you at first, but you were in such a fever that we had to keep changing you all the time.’ He shrugged. ‘In the end it seemed simpler not to bother.’

  Katy frowned. ‘You talk as if I’ve been here some time.’

  ‘Three days,’ he confirmed.

  ‘Three days! But I—That means today is Tuesday.’

  ‘Wednesday. This is the fourth day.’

  She groaned. ‘Then that means my sister—’

  ‘Has been and gone,’ Adam confirmed.

  Katy’s eyes widened. ‘You saw her?’

  ‘No. But it’s a natural assumption to make. When we didn’t turn up they would have moved on.

  ‘Oh God!’ she moaned. ‘My head hurts.’

  ‘It will do. Try and get some sleep,’ he soothed, smoothing her hair away from her face. ‘We can talk when you wake up.’

  ‘But, Adam—’

  ‘Go to sleep, Katy,’ he said softly. ‘Just rest.’

  When she woke up again it was dark, but Adam was still beside her. She smiled at him, not feeling so weak now. She went to sit up and then stopped as she remembered her nakedness. ‘Could—could I have one of Chrissie’s nightgowns now, do you think?’ Colourinvaded her cheeks. ‘I don’t feel comfortable like this.’

  His expression mocked her, but he left the room, returning a few minutes later with a flowered cotton nightgown in a pretty shade of blue. ‘Come on, sit up and I’ll h
elp you on with it.’

  ‘I can do it myself,’ she insisted.

  He sighed. ‘Katy, I’ve been bathing you and seeing to your needs for the past three days; modesty now is a little misplaced.’

  ‘You—you’ve done everything for me?’ she gulped.

  ‘Everything,’ he confirmed. ‘Now sit up.’

  The nightgown felt cool and refreshing, and she felt more composed with it on. ‘Am I still at Chrissie’s?’ She lay back among the pillows.

  ‘Yes. You’ve been burning with fever. We had the doctor out to you a couple of times. It was falling in that lake that did it.’ His voice had hardened with impatience. ‘I should have realised there was something wrong with you, you were too quiet. It wasn’t natural.’

  ‘You’re still as insulting, I see!’

  He grinned. ‘You wouldn’t know me if I weren’t.’

  ‘I think I could bear it.’ She closed her eyes wearily. ‘Why do I still feel so weak? I’m getting better, aren’t I?’

  ‘I would say so. And you feel weak because you’re hungry. Ah,’ he turned as a knock sounded on the door, Chrissie coming in with a tray, ‘right on cue,’ he smiled. ‘Katy’s just been complaining that we’re starving her.’

  ‘I have not! I—’

  Chrissie laughed. ‘Are you teasing her already?’ She put the tray down on the table. ‘At least let the poor girl get her strength back.’

  ‘Oh, I couldn’t do that!’ Adam feigned fear. ‘She defeats me hands down when she’s up to strength.’

  ‘Liar,’ Chrissie grinned. ‘How are you feeling now, Katy?’

  Adam ran a caressing hand over her shoulder. ‘She feels pretty good to me,’ his eyes taunted her.

  Katy pushed his hand away. ‘I’m feeling much better now, thank you,’ she said primly.

  ‘See how polite she is to other people,’ Adam grimaced. ‘She’s already been insulting me.’

  ‘I haven’t! You—’

  ‘Just ignore him, Katy,’ Chrissie advised. ‘He’s been as worried about you as the rest of us, more so. He hasn’t left you for a moment.’

  Katy’s eyes widened. ‘He hasn’t?’

  ‘Can’t you see my halo?’ he mocked.

  His taunting rankled. ‘If you ever had a halo it would slip around your throat and choke you to death!’ she snapped.