Captured Love

by Juliana Haygert

  “Oh yeah, right. He called a few minutes ago.” He walked to the file cabinet behind the desk, glancing at me every two seconds. “With so much going on, I had already forgotten.” He scratched his chin, smiled at me, and then rummaged through a drawer. “Here.”

  He pulled out a thick file and handed it to me.

  I took it from him. “Thanks.”

  Noah sat on the desk, crossing his arms. “So, you’re new in town.”

  I frowned. “You could say that.”

  “I’ve been here for a year now. Good, calm town. I think you’ll like it.”

  I almost laughed. Jesus, he had no idea. This town was anything but calm. “Yeah, I think I will.” I retreated to the door. “Thanks.”

  “I hope to see you soon,” he said, a huge smile across his face.

  I nodded and left as if the trailer were on fire.

  I had almost forgotten about Ryan when I reached the car. Before I could stop myself, I looked back at the houses, but he was nowhere I could see.

  Since leaving town, all I wanted was to forget him, and now here I was, looking for him. Ridiculous.

  With a heavy sigh, I climbed into the car and left the site, hoping my temporary insanity stayed behind with it.

  ***

  Ryan

  Hidden behind the frame of the second-floor window, I watched as Jessica drove out of the lot.

  The band around my chest tightened.

  She looked so beautiful and incredibly hot. Her brilliant hair fell over her shoulders and cascaded down to her waist, framing her perfect face. Those red lips, those dark blue eyes, those long lashes. That white shirt and those black pants molded to her curves. And shit, had she become a hot woman, or what?

  Shit. I thought I was over her. Oh, how mistaken I was.

  “Man, that girl is one hot babe,” Noah said from behind me. I turned to face him, my fists clenched. “Where do you know her from? Do you have her number?”

  I took a deep breath and willed myself to ignore it. It wouldn’t do any good to become angry and violent because someone was drooling over Jessica. After all, she was hot, and if I became violent over every man who drooled over her, I would need heavy sedation.

  I gritted my teeth, struggling with my control. “No, I don’t.”

  “Bah. Well, no problem. If she’s working for Alan, I’m sure I’ll see more of her, and—” He winked. “—maybe I’ll score, huh?”

  With a herculean effort not to punch Noah, I tried to make sense of the first part of his sentence. “She’s working for Alan?”

  “Yeah.” Noah lost the smile. “Why?”

  “Nothing,” I answered quickly, turning back to the window.

  “Hey, isn’t your time up?”

  I grabbed my cell phone from my back pocket and glanced at the screen. Four in the afternoon. “Yeah.” I walked past Noah. “I’m outta here.”

  I ran out of the house, off the lot, and across the back street, where my car was parked. I slid inside, opened the windows, blasted light rock through the speakers, and rested my forehead on the steering wheel.

  I closed my eyes and my thoughts betrayed me. For once, I didn’t fight it.

  Her parents had been out all Saturday afternoon, at some work event, and Jason was helping Ethan at the racetrack. The house was ours, and Jessica was mine. I still couldn’t believe this beautiful creature, this angel, let me kiss her, touch her. I wanted more than just kisses and her touch, but for once, I wasn’t in a hurry, because every minute with her was perfect.

  She looked out the window at the rain and then smiled at me, a wicked grin that did unspeakable things to me.

  I smiled back. “What are you up to?” Without another word, she ran out the kitchen door and down the porch steps. I went after her, but stopped at the top of the steps. “What are you doing?”

  Standing in the heavy rain, she just smiled.

  Slowly, Jessica ran her hands along her hips, over her flat belly, and around her breast. I swallowed as the space in my jeans grew tight. She popped open one button of her shirt, then the other, then the next one, her eyes always on mine, her smile mischievous.

  She slid off her shirt, revealing a tiny pink bikini. I groaned. Fuck, she was perfect. Just too perfect.

  I took off my leather jacket and my shoes, and then raced to her. She giggled and sprinted away from me.

  “Oh, hell no,” I said through gritted teeth. “Come here.”

  Another giggle and she sped across the backyard. She had to know that the backyard wasn’t that big, and I was much faster than she was. I was going to catch her. I couldn’t wait until I caught her.

  She stopped by the fence, knowing her demise was coming, but just as I was about to close my arms around her, she used the wet grass to skid away, ducking under my arms.

  She yelped and giggled again. “I didn’t think that would work.”

  I laughed. Her happiness was contagious. She was contagious. All of her.

  My laughter faded and my smile was gone. I marched to her, determined not to let her escape this time. I backed her against the fence again, and this time, when she tried to duck past me, I was prepared. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. I trapped her wet, glorious body between the fence and me.

  Her laughter died as her eyes met mine. I saw as her pupils dilated, as desire shone in her blue eyes. I crushed her mouth with mine and she moaned, making it hard not to push her about sex.

  Shit. I bumped my forehead against the wheel, hoping the pain would help me stay in the present. I was holding it together by a breath, and it was too hard for me. I wouldn’t be able to take much more of it.

  She had been the best part of my life, and I had blown it. I lost her, I drove her away from me, and I had suffered for it. Suffered too much.

  My fingertips found the scars on my neck and on my chest. I had had so many cuts, but thankfully not all of them left marks. These scars were the reminders of my mistakes, of what I had done and couldn’t fix.

  My cell phone rang, and I turned the volume down before answering it.

  “Hey, man.” Jason’s voice came through the line. “Luke, Ethan, and I are going to ride a bit. We’re thinking of going to Charlotte, and making a lap around there. Are you up?”

  Soon, it would be the fourth anniversary of the abandonment of my bikes. I still had both of them. I still cared for them, cleaned them, fixed them, but I hadn’t rode them, or any other bike. Jason knew my answer, but I was glad I still had a friend who tried to pull me up from my own shit every now and then.

  “Thanks. I think I’ll just go home. Maybe I’ll stop by my parents’. B likes it when I have dinner with them.”

  “You’ll spoil that sister of yours.”

  “I hope so.”

  Jason sighed before returning to the main topic. “Ryan, it’s been a long time. You should at least try to get over it.”

  I took a deep breath and leaned back in the seat. “I just saw your sister. Actually, we even spoke. Two sentences, I guess, but still.”

  “What? How come?”

  “Apparently, she got a job at Alan’s office and he’s the sponsor of the Habit for Humanity site I’m working at. She came to talk to the supervisor.”

  I could picture Jason pacing wherever he was. “How was it?”

  “I’m not sure.” She had looked pissed, sad, but most of all, she wanted to stay away from me. “Bad, I think.”

  “And how are you about this?”

  “Bad.” A sad chuckle escaped my lips. “Quite frankly, I never thought I would see her again. And it hurts.”

  “Ah, man. Okay, you know what? I’m gonna call the guys and we’re gonna meet at The Pub and drink some beers, play pool, throw some darts.”

  Why did my friends care so much? I was a bad influence. They shouldn’t want to be with me. I sighed. “I appreciate the offer, but you don’t want my company right now. Go ride with the guys, and we’ll go to The Pub tomorrow. Okay? Bye.”

&
nbsp; I turned the cell phone off before Jason could say anything else.

  I wasn’t good company right now. I wasn’t good company ever.

  Chapter Seven

  Jessica

  I stared at the big flower bouquet on the dining table. Beautiful pink lilies and, among them, a bright red card in the shape of a heart. It was here when I arrived home from work. With a big smile, Mama told me the delivery guy brought it that morning.

  I tried throwing them away, but Mama wouldn’t let me.

  “Don’t you dare¸” she said. “Even if you don’t like this Gavin, I won’t let you throw away such beautiful flowers.” She tended to them as if Papa had given them to her on their anniversary. “Besides, he must really like you.”

  But I didn’t like him. And it hurt me, the fact that I had unknowingly made him fall in love with me. If I had paid attention, I would have noticed it and I would have put an end to our relationship much sooner.

  After dinner, Mama made me promised I wouldn’t do anything to the flowers. Only after I agreed did she retire to her bedroom.

  I slouched on the couch, my feet on the coffee table, and texted Kristin. I was past midnight, but I knew she was a night owl.

  Me: Gavin sent flowers.

  Kristin: Really? That’s cute.

  Me: No, not cute. That’s wrong. He’s supposed to forget me.

  Kristin: But he’s in loooooove.

  Me: Keep that up and I won’t text you for the rest of the summer.

  Kristin: Okay, okay, I’m done.

  After a minute, she sent another text.

  Kristin: Did he send a card?

  Me: Yes. It says, “I miss you. Love, Gavin.”

  Kristin: Aw, that’s cute.

  Me: Kristin!

  Kristin: Okay, okay.

  My phone’s screen change from the text app to Gavin’s picture and the ring of my phone filled the room.

  Me: He’s calling.

  Kristin: Then answer.

  Me: I don’t know what to say to him.

  Kristin: Just thank him for the flowers.

  I could do that, right? I could be polite and thank him for the flowers. Nothing else. If he tried talking about us, I could steer the topic back to safe waters.

  Just as I made up my mind to answer, the ringing stopped.

  I let out a long breath, part of me relieved and part of me feeling guilty for being so bitchy. Damn, it wasn’t my intention. If I had known how deep his feelings were …

  Frustrated, I shot up, burst into the kitchen, grabbed a cracker packet and the jar of honey, and sat at the table. If I was going to be irritated, better with lots of sugar in my veins.

  I let some honey drip onto a cracker and took it to my mouth, but froze when I saw the back door open. It was late and the house was dark. Jesus, what if someone had broken in?

  I scrambled to the porch and found Jason seated on the swing with Luna, looking at the stars.

  “What are you doing up at this hour?” he asked.

  After grabbing my honey and crackers from inside, I sat on one of the chairs around the wooden table. “What are you doing here at this hour? It’s Friday night. Aren’t you supposed to be out and about?”

  He shrugged. “I’m getting too old for that.”

  I laughed. “Yeah, right.”

  His head tilted and his eyes narrowed at me. “You just laughed.”

  I closed my mouth and spread honey on a cracker. “And? I can’t laugh?”

  “Well, I’ve been home for a week and you’ve been avoiding me. We’ve barely exchanged a few words.”

  “Let’s say I’m kinda tired of avoiding everyone.”

  He scratched under Luna’s ear while she snored loudly. “So tell me about your life in Cleveland.”

  “It’s boring really.”

  He smiled and, even in the dark, I could see the shine of his eyes. “I want to know about my little sister. Please, tell me.”

  Mad or not, he was still my big brother and I did miss talking to him.

  I sighed. “I’m going into my third year of architecture, and I’m pretty happy about it.”

  “In Cleveland?”

  “Yes. I didn’t want to leave grandma alone. She’s getting old, you know.” I licked a smidgen of honey from my finger.

  “I remember your fascination with architecture. You always had your sketchpad with you, always drawing the people and places around you. Do you still sketch?”

  “Yup.” However, I had stopped drawing people a long time ago. Almost four years to be exact. But he didn’t need to know that.

  “You do know architecture isn’t in its best shape right now, right? Getting a well-paying job will be hard.”

  “I know, but I love it. I can’t imagine doing anything else.” When we were kids, Rachel, Sophie, Faith, and I played dolls all the time, but the truth was, they played dolls while I sat beside them, drawing the dolls’ houses, complete with façade and floor plan.

  “I’m glad you like it that much.” A grin spread over his lips. “I saw the flowers.” I groaned. “So, you have a boyfriend there. Want to tell me about him?”

  “Nope. I really don’t want to talk about that.” I spread honey over another cracker. “Tell me about you. I know you’re studying biology at the University of South Carolina. Why didn’t you go away?”

  He looked up at the stars, and I thought he wouldn’t answer. “The truth is that I couldn’t do that to Mom. She already suffered too much when you left. I didn’t want to add to that. Then when Dad became ill, I knew I had made the right decision. I’ll stay here with her.”

  That was surprising. Jason had been nothing short of selfish when he was younger. He had changed, and apparently, my absence had triggered it. Once more, I realized I wasn’t a factor in this family. They had their routine and their lives and their purposes, all without me.

  I finished eating and stood. I was picking up the crackers and the honey, when I heard the sound of a car and loud music approaching. Luna jumped from the seat and went to the fence to bark at the car.

  I glanced at Jason and found him watching me with big eyes.

  Slowly, I turned to the street and saw as a black Mustang reduced speed. The music turned down, but the car didn’t stop. It drove by and away.

  “Sorry, I thought you would be asleep. He was coming by to talk.” Jason stood, his cell phone in his hand. “I’m gonna call him and meet him outside.”

  I remained frozen to the spot. I couldn’t escape him. Every place I went, even in my house, he was there.

  At least I hadn’t been sent to the Habitat for Humanity site again. However, it still boggled my mind. Ryan wasn’t one to volunteer for a charity. What was he doing there?

  Jason descended the porch steps and started around the house, but he stopped and turned to me. “He was pretty messed up, you know, about what he did to you. If he could take it back, he would. And after what Dad did to you at the Main Square … I had to hold him back. Luke, Ethan, and I had to hold him actually, because I wasn’t strong enough. He would have killed Dad if I let him. I wanted to kill Dad too, but, well, not in the literal sense. My way of protesting was not to speak him for over a year. It would have lasted longer, if he hadn’t started to feel ill. Anyway—” He glanced at his phone. “—I thought you should know.”

  Jason disappeared down the path beside the house, leaving me stunned on the porch.

  ***

  Ryan

  I turned down the volume and parked my car on the next block. Through the rearview mirror, I glanced at the house on the corner. If Jason didn’t come in one minute, I would leave.

  Shit. How was I supposed to know she would be up and outside at this hour?

  Well, thinking back, she had been outside plenty of times at this hour. Even later.

  Jessica and I had been together for only a month, but it was an intense month. We got together almost every night. Some nights, I would sneak into her bedroom and we would talk while she sketched me,
or we would cuddle and watch a quiet movie on her TV. The highlight was the end of the night, when we kissed until we fell asleep in each other’s arms. Other nights, she would sneak out and we would go for a ride, either in my car or on my street bike. We only took the car if it was raining or cold, otherwise the bike was the first option. I loved how she hopped behind me, how she squeezed my hips with her thighs, wound her arms around my waist, and rested her head on my shoulder.

  Better than that was when I let her drive. Then I could press my body to hers, touch her waist, her belly, her legs, smell the delicious wild rose scent of her skin and her hair. I got hard every single time she was in front.

  One night, she was driving along a deserted highway, going fast. Her hair whipped back in my face. After a long sniff, I pushed it aside and admired the smooth skin of her long neck. I leaned into her, brushing my lips on her delicious skin while one of my hands cupped her breast, and the other slid around her inner thigh.

  Surprised, or overcome by the sensations, she gasped and jerked the bike to the side. For a moment, she lost control and the bike skidded. I reached forward, making her lean over the gas tank, and grabbed the handles. I was able to steady the bike, but I decided it was time for a break.

  “Sorry,” she whispered, turning around over the side. “It was your fault though.”

  I chuckled. “No, it wasn’t. Prove it.”

  She scooted closer and wounded her legs around my waist. “Let me show you what happened.” Slowly, she slid her hand around my neck and brushed her warm lips on my skin. I hissed. “There was more.” She nipped at the soft spot between my neck and shoulder while snaking her hands down my body until she cupped my erection. I stilled, afraid that if I moved, I would wake up from this magnificent dream.

  A knock on my car window shook me from my memory. Jason stood on the sidewalk beside my car with Luna on a leash.

  Shit, I had been out of it for how long? I dragged a hand over my face and unlocked the doors.

  “Hey,” Jason said, sliding into his car. He left the door open, so Luna could stay near him.

  “Couldn’t you have texted me that she was out with you?” I asked.