by Judi Nolan
Spencer's eyes darkened as he watched her expression fill with worried confusion. "How did he know where to find you?"
She drew a long breath. "He said he pulled strings, managed to get the information from the hospital in Chicago. I don't know how or who told him. Only my close friends knew where I'd gone."
"Okay, that needs to be dealt with as well. A breach of confidential information is a serious matter." Spencer's gaze moved over her face. He blew a rough sigh. "So, what do you want to do now?"
"Honestly, I have no idea." Kate blinked as she looked around at the silent house. "Where's Jamie?"
Spencer stared at her, seeming to measure his answer. "He wanted to stay at the Henrys for the night," he said finally. "I agreed because I needed some time to think. Sort through what we said tonight."
"I see." Kate bit her lip. Her refusal to marry him hovered between them like a ghostly embarrassment. She quickly finished her wine, pushing back her chair. "I'm sorry, I'll get out of your way then. You must have things to do. Thanks for listening."
"You're not in the way, Kate." Spencer stilled her determined retreat with a hand on her arm. He rose to his feet. "You never could be. Is that how Eric made you feel?"
"As if I was inconvenient?" Kate stared at his hand on her arm. "Sometimes. Towards the end. I guess, his wife's money exerted more of an influence over his decision to leave than his need for me. He thought he could have both of us. I couldn't handle that. I've always believed that it takes two people to make a marriage work. And I would never knowingly be a party to breaking one apart."
Spencer nodded as he put down his coffee mug. "I know. I understand that now. What I asked you tonight, Kate. I would never pressure you. But it could work between us, but it must be your decision."
"I know." Kate closed her eyes. She loved the way he said her name.
She loved him so much it hurt. She loved him, the sentence needed repeating. Suddenly her passion for Eric seemed a colorless ghost by comparison.
"Kate? What is it?" Spencer's question was stark with concern.
She looked up. He'd come closer. His eyes were dark and unfathomable, a tiny flame burning in their depths. A raw shiver ran right through her from head to toe. She wanted the right to lean on his strength.
"Ah, Kate, Don't look at me like that. It's all in the past now." Spencer slid his hand up her arm to cup her cheek. "Come here. Let me make the bad memories go away."
"I wish you could." Anything else she wanted to say was lost in the pounding of her heartbeat. Heat licked through her veins. She felt foolish, scared and more turned on as she'd never been in her whole adult life. All rolled into one quivering package of nerves that would surely shatter into a million pieces if Spencer didn't make some move to kiss her right now.
Muttering a string of strange words she didn't understand, Spencer slid his hand around to cup the back of her head. Kate became acutely aware of the heat of his powerful body as he drew her to rest beneath the line of his chin. The clean masculine scent of him enveloped every one of her overwrought senses, his warm breath fanning across her cheek.
She could feel the steady beat of the pulse, in the base of his throat, against her forehead. Her own heartbeat began to race, her hands clamping tightly around the wineglass she still held, pressing against the hard, flat plane of his abdomen. Unshed tears closed her throat.
"Somehow you got to me, Kate." On a rough breath, Spencer hauled her even closer. "In more ways than I know how to deal with. I had hoped to keep you at a distance. Make myself not want you, even when I asked you to marry me. I thought I could set all the rules, make you feel safe."
"If you still want me," Kate breathed. "I'm here."
The fragile glass wedged between them was under serious threat of permanent damage. Just like my heart. Kate closed her eyes. Where is all this leading?
For once she had no idea and strangely she didn't care. This was one night out of time. They could go back to being sensible in the morning. She wriggled, pushing closer to the large warm body pressed to hers, of parting her lips and lifting her face up to his and forgetting—
"Make love to me, Spencer," she breathed. "Please."
"God, Kate..." She felt the sharp catch of his breath. "Are you sure?"
He drew back a little to remove the glass from her tight clasp. He set it aside with a taut grimace. "You don't know what you're asking."
"I'm not a child, Spencer." She looked up at him. "I am aware of what I'm asking. If it's too much..." she left the rest unsaid. "I'll go."
"It's not too much." Spencer's eyes scanned her face. "Never think that. But, are you sure you want this? I mean, this wasn't meant to be part of our agreement. You need time to adjust."
"This isn't some knee jerk reaction to Eric's phone call." Kate looked into the winter blue depths of his eyes. "I've never been more sure of anything before."
Spencer didn't reply immediately. His eyes traced slowly over her face. "I can't make any promises other than never to hurt you."
"I know." Kate released her breath as she thought briefly of Eric and then dismissed his image from her mind forever. "I don't want any promises. They can be broken. I don't want to think about tomorrow. If it's all we can have together, then let there just be tonight. Tomorrow we'll go back to being sensible. Talk about what we need to do for the best."
"Sensible Kate." Spencer's lips curved as he stared down at her, desire burning in his eyes. Kate waited. He hadn't refused her. She didn't know what she would have done if he did.
"You are so beautiful. So delicate and fragile."
He leaned closer, his gaze intent on her lips. "If I was a stronger man..." he muttered roughly and gave an oddly strangled laugh. "A man with any sense at all, I would throw you out. Come back here."
Kate's heart leapt as she tilted her chin, raising her mouth eagerly to his. Spencer's first kiss was all too brief, the barest contact on her lips, tempting her to want more. The feather-light contact brushed and tantalized, lifted and retreated, then came back, the same slight contact that made her groan with suppressed need.
Kate shivered, flicking out her tongue to taste him on her mouth, his deliberate baiting of her senses driving her to become bold enough to reach up to nibble her way across the sensuous width of his mouth.
She felt Spencer shift his stance, a slow smile brushing against her mouth as his lips lifted at the corners. His second kiss invited a more sensual contact; again letting her set the limits of their erotic dance.
Kate dragged air into her starving lungs, opening her lips a little, testing and tasting the texture of his mouth. It felt so right, so warm and firm against hers. He pulled back again, his accelerated breathing fanning against her face as he rested his forehead against hers. Her sense of loss lasted only a heartbeat before he returned again, his third kiss frankly plundering as Spencer finally dragged her closer, his fragile control snapping, pinning her against his hard, powerful body.
Kate felt the hot, moist push of his tongue sliding across her own. She rushed to meet him, both taking and giving. Kate groaned, pushing closer into his warmth, feeling the solid heat of his arousal pressing hard against her lower stomach.
"Kate, I want you," Spencer confessed. "Ever since the first day I saw you, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind. You won't let me rest. I thought I could control it. I told myself I didn't need you. That I didn't need, period. Ours was supposed to be a strictly business relationship, a means to an end. It's the sensible solution."
"Crazy idea," Kate confessed as a shudder pulsed through her, trailing fire in its wake. "I don't feel like being sensible right now. So stop talking and kiss me again now."
Is it enough? That he only wanted her. That he could never be anything more to her, even if she did agree to marry him tomorrow? At least his confession was honest, that tiny voice inside her head replied. Spencer was hiding nothing, giving her nothing beyond the promise of the passion evident in his questing touch.
Kate nodded. It was enough for now. "Let's go to bed," she whispered, hoping she could finally overcome her fears of such an intimate contact.
"If it's what you want." Spencer took her hand, drawing her after him down the hall to his shadowed bedroom. Kate clutched his hand tightly, trying to slow the swift beat of her heart. The pace of her breathing must surely give away her growing state of nervousness. Spencer turned to her in the doorway of his room.
"Don't look so scared," he chided gently. "We don't need to do this if you're not ready."
"I...it's been a long time." Kate swallowed. "I thought…" She shook her head in frustration.
Spencer leaned back against the doorframe, holding her at arm's length, his hands encircling her waist. "There has been no one...since Eric?"
Kate grimaced. "No, he and I...we..." She felt as if she was drowning in embarrassment. "He was the only one, ever. I was always wary of men, of their power. I knew, I'd seen too many times, what it could do. As a child I often felt so helpless and alone. I tried to stay invisible."
"I understand." Spencer reached to switch on the light. He drew her into his arms and looked down at her. "Don't be afraid. I could never hurt you. I..." he shook his head as he frowned, obviously unable to say whatever it was he was thinking. His expression told her he'd had some kind of revelation. Or second thoughts. Her whole body cried out, demanding she push on; finish what she had started, or pull back and run away. And she was so tried of running. Now it was time to face the truth. If this night was all there could be, then so be it. She would make it work for her. For both of them.
Her nervousness melted away. She moved willingly into his embrace. "I know. This was meant to be, from the moment we first met."
"We won't do anything that you don't feel is right," Spencer cupped her face in his strong hands. "This night is for you, Kate. Only for you."
Kate felt humbled. No one had ever made such a sacrifice for her before. "But, what about you?" She frowned up into his hooded eyes.
Spencer taut laugh was full of chagrin. "I'll survive, if you're having second thoughts."
"No, no second thoughts." Kate swallowed tightly, her throat closing with the strength of her love for this man. The words almost escaped her control then. But she managed to contain them within her heart.
But she still felt shy as his hands moved to the hem of her shirt, drawing each button with torturous slowness from its companion buttonhole. Slowly, oh so slowly, Spencer peeled the two halves upwards, until they fell apart of their own accord.
"Very nice," he approved throatily of her lacy lilac bra.
Kate shivered as his long dark fingers curved over her ribcage, moving slowly higher. Her breath caught, arching her back as his thumbs flicked over the taut peaks of her breasts. Her shirt slid from her shoulders and was gone.
Her searching fingers attempted to undo the snap of his jeans, her usual dexterity deserting her. Her hand was stiff, the bandage an impediment to the need to touch his naked flesh.
Spencer growled low in his throat as he lowered his hands, unsnapping his jeans for her. Kate smothered a small laugh in the strong column of his throat as Spencer gathered her against him, turning to lay her down on the covers of the bed.
His mouth sent shivers across her exposed skin as he lowered his lips to the base of her throat, kissing lower in tormenting circles until Kate felt like screaming.
Spencer pulled back slightly to watch her face as she moved beneath his hands. He skimmed his hand lower, cresting over the peak of her breast. The lacy scrap of lilac lace and satin was the perfect foil for her creamy smooth skin, but it was also in his way. Sliding his hands behind her, he released the clasp, drawing off and tossing the garment aside.
He looked down at the beauty his action revealed. Kate opened her eyes and stared up at him. Her blue eyes were full of unfocussed desire, but behind that still lurked a look of fear. He sighed, cupping and teasing out the fullness of her breast.
"Oh, God..." Kate arched against his touch. "Spencer, I..."
"Shhh." He pressed a finger to her lips. "Don't speak, don't think, just feel."
He slid his hand around to the back of her neck, drawing her up until her mouth met his. The kiss was hot and urgent, drawing them both in to a vortex of need.
A slow heat built up in the centre of her body, flaring outwards. This was the man who had promised not to hurt her. She had to believe in that promise, even as she watched his dark head dip towards her exposed breast, to lave her skin with the heat of his tongue.
She wanted so badly to believe in all that Spencer was promising her as he moved over her, his hands stripping her of her jeans and panties, then urging her wordlessly to strip him as naked as the desire burning in his fathomless darkened eyes, his strong hands traveling ever lower in slow circles to prepare her body for their union.
Kate arched to his questing touch, staring at his mouth, the generous sweep of his bottom lip and then at his eyes, the pupils enlarged, but with the glitter of desire in their depths as he withdrew his fingers from her and slowly entered her body.
Kate pushed upwards against him, welcoming his elemental claim. The scent of his body teased at her nostrils, the friction of his naked skin against hers became electric.
They belonged together and this—this loving was so right. With the heat building to fever pitch within her, she clung to his broad shoulders, finding the courage to begin touching him. Moving against him in a timeless rhythm, as if something beyond her was activating her instincts to know how to touch this man in ways that forced deep groans from him. Had him whispering her name over and over as their world tipped over and fell apart in a shower of stars around them.
Kate collapsed on a sigh, nestling her face into the heated curve of his shoulder. Spencer's harsh and jagged breath was like music to her ears.
She felt him shudder as her fingers began to explore the rigid muscles of his back and knew she could move him with her lightest touch. He growled, deep in his throat as he shifted to renew his claim to her willing body, and with a tiny sob she followed him to a place where her whole being felt reborn.
Kate's heart filled with wonder. In the morning there would be time for regrets and sensible words of how it could never happen again. How the marriage he had proposed needed to be established on practical grounds. But she could easily get used to this. For once she allowed herself to dream of a future together, held secure in Spencer's strong and passionate embrace.
The sunlight of early morning teased Kate awake long before she was ready to surrender sleep. She rolled over and opened her eyes.
Spencer was beside her, his eyes dark and smoky as he raised himself up onto one elbow to gaze down at her. Kate looked up into his face and felt her heart contract with necessary regret.
They had an agreement to work out. A small boy to save from being used as a pawn. There wouldn't be any words of declaration, of undying love. It's simply been a moment out of time. Two lonely souls looking and finding some shared comfort.
She told herself she must be content with that. But the idea that she could never tell this man the truth about how much she loved him made her want to cry. She locked the words in her throat, aware of the challenges he still faced in keeping custody of his son and she wasn't willing to add to them, or to trust her foolish heart to know what was best for them.
"Good morning," she said cautiously, moving away from the long tempting length of his thigh sliding erotically against hers.
"Morning." Spencer's expression darkened.
Kate studied him. "Would you care to share what you're thinking?"
"No. Not right now." Spencer reached to lift a stray curl of hair from her cheek, tucking it behind her ear. "Maybe later."
How much later? Kate wondered. He was still holding something back from her. Some confession he still couldn't voice. But she couldn't force him to speak, tell her things she knew in her heart she may not be able to handle or accept. She trusted him enough to know he would
n't deliberately hurt her.
"Tell me," he commanded roughly, capturing her averted chin and bringing her troubled gaze back to his. "Tell me what you're thinking. Tell me you don't want this and it ends right here, right now."
Words of denial hovered on her tongue, but when she opened her mouth they wouldn't simply come. If nothing else she owed him her complete honesty. He'd been nothing else but honest with her, his offer of marriage had been without strings. She couldn't lie and tell him the most incredible, beautiful night of her entire life had meant nothing to her. If she pushed him away now there would still be the unanswered question of marriage hovering between them. They both knew she had reacted too hastily last night, denying his proposal. She could accept what he was offering and make it work for her. Give herself the gift of a family with a man who understood her reservations and was prepared to wait, to work through her issues with her and not judge her for her reluctance.
She stared into his dark blue eyes, watching her with an undisguised drive to gain her agreement. She needed him in the same way she needed to breathe—but what was he offering and did she have the courage to accept? He was waiting for her answer.
In that moment she felt too exposed and vulnerable. With his warm, hard body lying so close—so tempting—next to hers, she was in no shape to think rationally or plan a future that was so immediate.
She looked away. "I'm starving. How about I go and put the kettle on?" She was about to toss back the covers when she remembered her state of complete nakedness. Her clothes weren't in sight. She sank back onto the pillows, feeling a warm flush invade her cheeks.
"Here, use this." Spencer sat up to reach to the ornate wooden box at the end of the bed and handed her a navy toweling robe, his expression wickedly teasing. "Unless you lost all your inhibitions last night."
"Not quite all of them." Kate sat up to slip her arms into the sleeves. They hung down past her hands and her slim body felt swamped in the yards of cloth.
"Sorry about the fit, but I don't remember it ever being that sexy on me." Spencer inhaled sharply, leaving the bed in one smooth movement. He turned back. "Do you want to use the shower first?"