Star Wars - Episode I Adventures 012 - The Bongo Rally

by Ryder Windham

  Jar Jar sighed. “Tarpals, yousa mad because my no pledgen yousa life debt? Is dat what yousa wanten?”

  Tarpals eyes went wide with surprise. “Dat’s da last ting mesa wanten, Jar Jar.”

  Tarpals closed his eyes and shook his head. It was impossible to have a logical conversation with Jar Jar. Opening his eyes, he said, “Listen, Jar Jar, one mure time. Mesa got yousa seats for da Bongo Rally becausen mesa promised. Even though metinks yousa tricked my, mesa no ever break a promise. Da only ting my want in return is dat yousa no botter mesa ever again.”

  Jar Jar looked at the manta-shaped ticket, which suddenly felt very heavy in his hand. “Mesa berry berry sorry about dis big misunderstanden, Tarpals,” Jar Jar said. “Mesa rilly no meanen to trick yousa.” He held the ticket out to Tarpals and said, “Mesa no wanten to maken yousa angry over some stupid ting like dis.”

  Tarpals ignored the ticket and said, “Too late for dat.” Then he turned and headed for the stairs, leaving the dumbstruck Jar Jar alone in the diner.

  Jar Jar looked at the ticket and felt sick to his stomach. He didn’t know what to do about the ticket or Tarpals, and his mind was filled with colliding thoughts. He considered trying to get a refund for the ticket and give the money to Tarpals, but what if Tarpals refused the money? It seemed like a shame to not use the ticket. The Bongo Rally only happened once a year, and an entire spectator box would allow Jar Jar to invite all his friends. But since the only person he could think of asking — Tarpals — had just walked out of the diner, Jar Jar realized he’d have to go the race alone, if he even went at all. And then he remembered...

  Major Fassa.

  Fassa had mentioned she would be in the arena to watch the Bongo Rally with Boss Nass. Jar Jar thought if he could find Fassa, he could invite her to sit in his spectator box and also persuade her to ask Tarpals to join them.

  Jar Jar looked at a chronometer on the wall, and noted that the race was only two hours away. He put the ticket in one of his pockets. He still had to finish his work shift, and then he would have to track down Fassa. Jar Jar wanted to be presentable. He realized he probably smelled like gasser-fried eels. He cast a cautious glance at the diner’s entrance. Since there hadn’t been any customers all morning, he thought it was a good time to take a quick bath.

  He filled the kitchen’s deep sink with warm water, shed his clothes, and climbed into the sink. Just then, he heard a gasp from the diner’s stairway. Jar Jar turned to see Boss Nass on the steps.

  “Binks!” Boss Nass bellowed. “What yousa doen in da sink?”

  Jar Jar grabbed a large kitchen towel, wrapped it around his body and climbed carefully out of the sink. “Well, to tell da truth, Boss,” Jar Jar replied, “my afraid my smell like eels, so my taut...”

  “Never mind da lame excuses,” Boss Nass interrupted. Like Tarpals, Boss Nass was long tired of Jar Jar’s excuses. Boss Nass surveyed the diner’s empty tables and said, “Lookie like business hair no so good, so dare’s no point in yousa stayen. Mesa haven a big party at da mansion after da Bongo Rally.”

  “Yousa needen help?’ Jar Jar asked. If he could help with the party, there was a chance that Boss Nass would like him more. And he’d get a chance to see Fassa.

  “Well,” Boss Nass said, “my need una extra waiter to serve da food...”

  “My can be da waiter!” Jar Jar volunteered. He knew he’d never be invited to the party otherwise.

  Boss Nass thought about it for a second. “Okeyday,” he said at last. “But no axadentes!”

  “No axadentes!” Jar Jar assured him.

  He was very excited about the party while he picked up his clothes and went into the diner’s supply closet to get dressed. Then he remembered —

  The Bongo Rally!

  He’d been so flustered talking to Boss Nass that he’d forgotten about the ticket Tarpals had given him. Now there was no way to go — he couldn’t back out on Boss Nass. Instead, he’d have to return the tickets to Tarpals... and hope to see Fassa, after the rally was over.

  Captain Swagg was careful to avoid detection while navigating his escape pod to Otoh Gunga. He kept the pod’s engines running at low speed to reduce the vessel’s noise and diminish the trail of bubbles left in its wake. When he came within sight of the sprawling underwater city of Otoh Gunga, he steered the pod low over the lake floor and consulted a sensor screen to get a lock on the captured droids’ homing signals.

  Swagg tracked the signals to a habitat bubble that rested next to a Gungan sub pen, then navigated the pod to that location. Swagg suspected that it would be a mistake to navigate his pod directly into the sub pen, as the entrance of any unauthorized submersible might trigger an alarm. Also, the pod would not be able to contain both droids along with himself, so it was pointless to even think of using the pod as a getaway vehicle.

  He steered the pod directly below the sub pen and brought the vessel to a stop, letting it sink to the lake floor, right next to the sub pen’s mooring. As soon as the pod set down on the mud, Swagg took a deep breath, then opened the pod’s air vents. As the air escaped, cold lake water rushed into the pod’s small cabin.

  When the pod was filled, Swagg popped the egress hatch and swam out. He rose quickly alongside the sub pen’s mooring until he reached one of the pen’s oval portal zones. Swagg pushed his body through the portal and entered the sub pen’s air-filled interior.

  Swagg stood on the deck in his soaking clothes and gasped for air. As he recovered, he noticed there were four bongos in the pen. Each of the bongos could hold at least three passengers, and Swagg decided that any one of them would be useful in an escape. Turning for the exit, Swagg left a trail of wet footprints as he entered the transport tube that linked the pen to the neighboring habitat bubble.

  The habitat bubble’s oval door was open, and Swagg stepped inside. From the various tools and mechanical devices, he realized the bubble was some kind of laboratory. Because of the clutter, he almost overlooked the chrome-plated droids 3-S and 5-S, which were restrained on a metal table. Swagg’s eyes then fell on the the head of 4-S, which had been bolted to the top of some strange machinery.

  The pirate went to the two prone droids. Unable to find a key for their restraints, Swagg picked up a power prybar and broke the locks. He quickly accessed the droids’ activation switches, and the two droids blinked to life. The droids seemed startled, but before either droid could speak, Swagg heard footsteps approaching from the bubble’s outer transport tube. He held a cautionary finger up over his lips, signaling the droids to remain silent.

  Swagg sprang for the doorway, hugged the wall, and waited as the footsteps drew closer. A Gungan stepped over the threshold. With one blow to the base of her neck, she crumpled to the floor.

  As 3-S climbed off the table, he said, “We tried to torpedo the arena, sir...”

  “... but we were captured by the Gungans,” 5-S finished.

  “Well, obviously, you dolts,” Swagg hissed. “Otherwise, we wouldn’t be here right now. I need you two to help me get my starship back. If either of you fail me again, you’ll look worse than 4-S when I’m through with you.”

  “We will not fail again, sir,” 3-S and 5-S said in unison. Then 3-S pointed to the converted 4-S and added, “This laboratory facility poses a threat to us. We advise destroying the lab as soon as possible.”

  “Very well,” Swagg answered. “But destroying the arena is my first priority for revenge. We’ll need to find some weapons and a bongo, and also knock out Otoh Gunga’s main communications beacon to prevent any exchange between here and the arena. Follow me.”

  As Swagg headed out of the lab and stepped over the fallen Gungan’s body, he checked his wrist chronometer, then said, “If I recall correctly, the Bongo Rally is scheduled to begin in forty minutes. That means we have a lot of work to do, and not much time.”

  3-S and 5-S followed Swagg out of the laboratory bubble and into the transport tube. As they stepped through the tube, Swagg glanced through the tub
e’s transparent walls and sighted the yellow running lights on an approaching submersible ferry.

  “I think I just found my ride,” Swagg said.

  The submersible ferry maintained a steady course for the city of Otoh Gunga, which was already visible in the distance. The ferry had made good time from the arena, and it was due to arrive in Otoh Gunga several minutes ahead of schedule.

  Earlier that day, the sub had been packed to capacity with Gungans who were eager to watch the Bongo Rally. On the ferry’s return to Otoh Gunga, it carried only the green-uniformed pilot and three passengers. Two of the passengers were Spleed Nukkels and Neb Neb Goodrow, the unfortunate racers who had crashed their vehicles earlier that morning. The third passenger was Jar Jar Binks.

  Seated in the ferry’s main cabin, Jar Jar and the two racers remained silent until the ferry arrived within Otoh Gunga’s city limits. At that point, Jar Jar said, “Yousa duey must feel pitty rotten about cracken up yousa bongos.”

  Nukkels shrugged and said, “Tings cowdabe worsen.”

  “Wesa lucky wesa no pasted,” added Goodrow.

  Pleased to get a response from the racers, Jar Jar was encouraged to ask, “So, yousa no angry at each otter about crashen into each otter dis mornin?”

  “Naw,” answered Goodrow. “Wesa friendly com-peteetors.”

  Nukkels nodded in agreement and added, “Yeah, axadentes happen.”

  “Dat’s what mesa always say!” Jar Jar exclaimed. “‘Axadentes happen, so forgiven forget.’ Too bad mure Gungans no tink like uss-ens. So, why yousa no stay in Lake Umberbool to see da race?”

  “Wesa no outta da race yet,” Nukkels confided with a sly wink. “After da crash dis mornin, wesa send plea-comm for hep to Lob Dizz, da great engineer. Lob Dizz answer, sayen she prep duey new bongos for uss-ens, boot wesa gatta get dem ourselves.”

  “Mesa know Lob Dizz, too!” Jar Jar said. “Sheesa good friend.”

  Goodrow grinned. “Once wesa get da new bongos from Dizz, wesa racen back to the festival arena soonest possible, den straight tooda starten line for da Bongo Rally.”

  “Wowza,” Jar Jar sighed with envy as the ferry entered a large sub pen bubble. “So exciten, tis. Mesa wishen mesa could seein yousa launch.” Goodrow and Nukkels swapped glances, then Goodrow gazed at Jar Jar and said, “How yousa liken tabe da flag-fella when we leave Otoh Gunga?” “Rilly?” Jar Jar asked. “Yousa lettin mesa wave da flag un start da race?”

  “Sure,” said Nukkels as the ferry came to a stop. “Be fun.”

  Jar Jar was overjoyed as he followed Goodrow and Nukkels out of the ferry and into the sub pen. Since the ferry had arrived early in Otoh Gunga, Jar Jar figured there was plenty of time for him to serve as the flagman for the two racers before he went on to his job at Boss Nass’s mansion.

  Jar Jar and the two racers proceeded through a series of transport tubes, and headed for Lob Dizz’s laboratory bubble. When they arrived at the engineer’s lab, Jar Jar was the first to spot Lob Dizz’s body, which lay motionless on the floor.

  “Oh, nol” Jar Jar said as he ran to her side. “Lob Dizz! Yousa okeydey?”

  “Mesa tink so,” Lob Dizz answered in a low voice. As Goodrow and Nukkels helped her sit up, she reached for the back of her neck and said, “Ouches. My got hit hard.”

  “Whosa doen dis?” Jar Jar asked, and then he noticed that the two captured droids were no longer on the metal work table. The third droid remained in the lab, and its dead photoreceptors seemed to fix Jar Jar with a mocking gaze. Jar Jar looked back to the injured engineer and said, “Lob Dizz! Da two mackineeks isa gone!”

  Lob Dizz’s eyes went wide with alarm. “’Ceptin for mesa, only da outlander coulda know howta activate dem mackineeks.”

  Goodrow and Nukkels exchanged a worried glance. Then Nukkels turned to Lob Dizz and asked, “Whosa dis outlander?”

  “Yousa racers no ever listen tada news?” Lob Dizz asked incredulously as she rose slowly from the floor. “Captain Swagg, da pirate dat looted da sacred place! Swagg musta come-backie to Naboo.”

  “Oh, dat Cap’n Swagg,” Goodrow said. “Den what wesa standen around hair for? Wesa gotta find un stop dat pirate un hissen mackineeks!” Nukkels nodded enthusiastically in agreement.

  Until that moment, Jar Jar had enjoyed the company of the two bongo racers, but now he suspected they were both reckless thrill-seekers. “Boot den yousa miss da Bongo Rally,” Jar Jar reminded them. “Even worsen, my be late for work!”

  Lob Dizz cast a disappointed glance at Jar Jar. “For all wesa know,” she said, “Swagg is schemin to attack da arena again...”

  Suddenly, the laboratory bubble was rocked by a massive explosion. All four Gungans were hurled across the lab. Lob Dizz and the two racers scrambled to their feet while Jar Jar remained on the floor, holding his hands over his eyes.

  “Dat sound-ed like un explosive,” Lob Dizz remarked as water poured through the bubble’s ruptured hydrostatic field and splashed across the floor. She went to her lab’s computer and increased power to the bubble’s backup field generator. “Da pirates musta stolen da explosives from un armory!”

  “How da pirates know where to find explosives?” Goodrow asked.

  At this point, you must decide whether to continue reading this adventure, or to play your own adventure in The Bongo Rally Game Book.

  To play your own adventure, turn to the first page of the Game Book and follow the directions you find there. To continue reading this Gungan adventure, turn the page!

  Lob Dizz, Jar Jar Binks, Spleed Nukkels, and Neb Neb Goodrow were about to exit Dizz’s laboratory when the entire bubble was suddenly rocked by a second explosion. The bubble was knocked off its axis and the lab’s floor tilted at a steep angle, sending the Gungans sprawling across the chamber.

  Jar Jar tried to recover his balance by reaching out and grabbing the nearest stationary object, which happened to be 4-S’s head. As Jar Jar clung to the deactivated droid, he watched as his three allies fell through the chamber’s oval doorway and into the outer transport tube. But before he could leap through the doorway himself, a large, heavy tool cabinet slid past him and slammed into the doorway, sealing off the exit. Jar Jar lost his grip, slipped on the wet floor, and smashed into the tool cabinet.

  “Ouches!” Jar Jar cried. Crouching on the floor, he peered through a narrow gap between the tool cabinet and the doorway. Lob Dizz looked back at Jar Jar through the gap and asked, “Yousa okeyday in dare?”

  “Mesa been better,” Jar Jar admitted. “From da sound of dat last boom-boom, Captain Swagg un hisen mackineeks isa tryen to blow dis lab! Can yousa hep me move dis cabinet?”

  “Wesa try,” Lob Dizz answered. Unfortunately, the heavy cabinet was solidly wedged into the frame of the oval doorway, and the angle of the tilted floor made it difficult for any of the Gungans to push. Despite their combined efforts, the cabinet wouldn’t budge.

  “G’wan wit out mesa,” Jar Jar called to his friends. “Yousa gotta get some weapons un tryen stop Swagg. Mesa tryen get outta hair my own self.”

  With some reluctance, Lob Dizz, Spleed Nukkels, and Neb Neb Goodrow left Jar Jar in the laboratory bubble. As they went to look for weapons, Jar Jar searched the lab, trying to find anything that would help him to move the tool cabinet from the doorway.

  Jar Jar found a long metal rod lying on the floor. Hoping to use the rod as a lever, Jar Jar drove one end into the gap between the tool cabinet and the doorway. He pushed down on the rod, but instead of shifting the cabinet, the rod snapped in two.

  “Nutsen!” groaned Jar Jar. Under the lab’s sink he found a container of a greasy chemical compound called Slather. Jar Jar looked back at the gap between the cabinet and doorway, and an idea suddenly occurred to him. He’d once heard that Gungan cave explorers would sometimes put grease over their bodies so the could squeeze through narrow crevices.

  Jar Jar read the Slather label. “Dis is ganna be messy,” Jar Jar muttered to himself as he dipped his hands into the con
tainer and scooped up the Slather. He quickly smeared it all over his body and clothes, leaving only the soles of his bare feet uncoated. He walked carefully across the tilted floor to the blocked doorway, bent down, held his breath, and pushed his body through the small gap.

  Seconds later, Jar Jar — still covered with grease — emerged on the other side of the doorway. He got up and ran through the transparent transport tube that connected the lab bubble to neighboring habitat bubbles. There wasn’t any sign of Lob Dizz or the two bongo pilots. Jar Jar assumed they were on their way to repair the communication beacon.

  As Jar Jar ran through the tube, he gazed through the tube’s walls and saw a submersible ferry traveling away from Otoh Gunga, toward the festival arena. Given that the underwater explosions outside the laboratory bubble must have been audible to anyone within a thousand meters, Jar Jar was surprised to see that the ferry was motoring at normal speed, as if the pilot and passengers hadn’t heard the explosions at all.

  Suddenly, a red tribubble bongo sped through the water past the laboratory bubble’s exterior. From the transport tube, Jar Jar scanned the interior of the passing bongo’s cockpit, in which two chrome-plated droids were seated behind the controls. Jar Jar realized that the droids must have been responsible for the explosions that knocked the lab bubble off its axis.

  A panel slid back at the bottom of the red sub’s outer hull, and the droids released a small ball into the water. An explosive!

  The sub veered away, and the explosive ball struck the transport tube, causing a loud explosion and tearing a large hole in the transparent structure. Water gushed in through the hole and splashed down the length of the tube.

  The rapidly rising water pushed Jar Jar against the curved wall of the transport tube. As he struggled to gain his footing, the red bongo backed up and prepared to attack again.