Kelly's Rules

by Barbara Miller

  “I’ll go for parts,” Jason volunteered.

  Kelly was surprised Quinn didn’t wince at the memory of the accident. Earl had said he would go after the driver if he ever found him. She had to show the same confidence in Jason that he did.

  “I’ll write down what we need.” Kelly handed him her keys. “If you have any questions call us from the hardware.”

  “See how much their rodent traps cost,” Quinn said.

  “I have some humane traps at home. We’ll bring those up tomorrow. You have oak trees, so you can’t blame the squirrels for finding this place attractive. But they don’t like to share with humans, so when you move in, they’ll stay out of the house.”

  Quinn was watching out the front window as Jason climbed into her Jeep. “You’re a very trusting person, Kelly.”

  “The accident wasn’t his fault, Quinn. From what Earl says, Jason avoided getting killed or hurting anyone else. He has to get his confidence back. Besides, now that you changed the spark plugs and wires, the old Beast starts every time. I feel badly now for defaming it.”

  Quinn turned with a sigh and rested his butt on the windowsill. “Why didn’t I meet you twenty-five years ago?”

  “You mean when I was four? I’m kind of glad we didn’t meet then.” Kelly got out a rescued pane of glass from her collection of old windows and used a putty knife to remove the old caulking from the broken pane near the front door.

  “God, I feel too old to be starting over.”

  “But you have so much: a great kid, a new job, a…house.”

  “That needs a lot of work. Well so do I.”

  “So do we all,” Kelly said but wondered what he meant. Maybe she should have let him elaborate. On the other hand maybe she didn’t want to know since they were getting along so well. She didn’t want to spoil that, didn’t want to find out anything bad about him ’til later.

  “From where I sit you look pretty well perfect.”

  He smiled at her and that made her heart thump. He couldn’t be talking just about her remodeling skills. She hesitated as she poked the old glazier’s points back into the frame with the new old pane in place. “You know I have real trust issue with men, hence my dating rules.”

  “Yes, you were telling me about those. Do they work?”

  “They apply mostly to jerks and the shiftless, in other words the worst of your kind. So if I seem a little awkward, it’s because I don’t know how to react to good men.”

  Quinn looked troubled. “I’ve made my share of mistakes.”

  “All humans do. But I have a feeling you don’t lie to yourself.”

  “I hope not. So no rules apply to me?” He came closer and she could feel his breath near her face but all he did was take the caulking gun from her. Kelly was silent as he did a perfect job of caulking the new old pane into place. Being able to caulk was like having a perfect golf swing. One had to be totally undistracted and her hands were shaking at the moment.

  When he opened the front door to caulk the outside of the pane, she said. “I’ll tell you one rule. Men must have a den.”

  “So almost every house has a den? Sure, I know that.” He did the other side and she applauded, happy to know he had a light touch and confidence, at least with houses.

  “No, it’s not just a rec room; it’s a retreat.” She walked into the addition, which was a cathedral-ceilinged room on the side of the house where the old porch met up with the new deck. The room gave level access to the backyard and she could see the advantage of it. No steps to the yard. “How will you decorate this room?”

  “When I have the money, I guess a sectional and a nice rug, maybe a recliner. I know, all the things women hate.”

  “But a man needs a room like that, one where he can stack his magazines and newspapers and not have someone throwing them away. Where he can leave a chip bag sitting open and not have to clean up. Just have someone shovel out the empties once a week.”

  “I see what you mean. That’s a tolerant attitude.”

  “So you never had a den before?”

  “Brenda liked French provincial—everywhere.”

  Kelly winced, then led him to the one of the alcoves off the kitchen, not the one that would be an obvious place for a kitchen table and chairs—it looked out over Deeds Street—but a smaller one that gave a view of the yard and had an antique window and a stained glass transom she suspected was Tiffany. “How would you decorate this?”

  “I don’t know. Might be a nice place for a desk to pay bills on.”

  “No, this would be a nice place for a woman to nest. Think teapots and African violets. A desk would be okay, but piles would be out. It should look serene.”

  “No rug?” Quinn folded his arms in amusement.

  “Only a braided one.” She gestured to the side closest to the kitchen. “Here’s where the rocking chair goes.”

  “I thought I wasn’t supposed to take decorating advice.”

  “I was just using the area to illustrate the difference. I suspect Brenda had no nest?”

  Quinn rolled his gaze and shook his head. “She barely made space for the kids in her womb.”

  Kelly was still laughing when her electrician friend, Rob Bender, showed up and went over the wiring, blessing all the stuff done in old armored cable but cursing the pushbutton light switches. Of course he didn’t like the coax in the addition and made sure it was disconnected from the main box. If Kelly and Quinn modernized the light switches and a made sure the ground wires were attached, he’d bless their work. They also needed new ground rods outside. When he had time, he’d come back and rewire the addition with Kelly’s help once they had the permit.

  Kelly tried to write him a check but he said he’d bill her and she knew she’d have to beg for a bill. Maybe he’d need another deck built. She’d get even somehow.

  After Rob left, a rapid knock on the front door pulled their attention that way.

  Quinn sneaked through the kitchen and dining room, then peeked through the living room to the front door. “It’s Paul. I knew he’d show up. Guess I can’t put off the inevitable.”

  “Don’t let him in. It could set a precedent. I convinced Brenda the front door would not open and confronted her outside.”

  “Good idea. I’m going out the kitchen entrance. He might be less combative in public. You don’t have to be part of this.”

  “Doesn’t hurt to have a witness.” Kelly didn’t like that Quinn anticipated so much trouble, but he knew his oldest son. She just hoped Jason hadn’t returned yet.

  On the other hand that was another niggling worry. Jason had been gone a long time.

  When they came around the house, Paul was on the porch staring in the windows. He was wearing chinos and a golf shirt, and sporting a tan that said man of leisure. Paul was blond and blue-eyed. He looked very campy like a big, male Brenda and not at all like his truly masculine father.

  “Paul, what is it?”

  “You bastard. What do you mean by having Mom jailed?”

  “Grow up. I had nothing to do with it, no matter what she thinks.”

  Personally Kelly thought adulthood for Paul was wishful thinking on Quinn’s part.

  Paul came off the porch glaring at Kelly. “So is this her, the other women?”

  “I’m the contractor and if you want to keep your orthodontically perfect teeth, you’ll back off, buddy.”

  Kelly could make a pretty low growl when angry and she was wearing her tool belt with the claw hammer, so he did stop before he got to her. Earl disliked her fighting her own battles but looking like you could defend yourself was a plus.

  “Mom said—”

  “I didn’t meet Quinn until he hired me to remodel his house. I take it the marriage was over before last Friday.”

  “Eons ago,” Quinn said.

  “It’s still all your fault.” Paul advanced on his father like a pit bull, and to Kelly’s surprise Quinn let Paul hit him. He ducked but still got clipped on the jaw hard enough
to land him on the lawn. When Paul raised a foot to stomp him, Kelly grabbed it and toppled golfer boy into the barberry hedge.

  “Youch! You bitch!” He scrambled to right himself, ripping numerous pulls in his shirt and underlying skin.

  Quinn had gotten to his feet and was feeling his jaw when Jason pulled up. “What’s going on?”

  “You’re with him?” Paul demanded.

  “Where else would I be?” Jason asked. “And thank you so much for worrying about me, big brother.”

  When Paul lunged toward his brother, Kelly jumped to intervene but there was no need. Quinn grabbed Paul from behind in a bear hug that would keep him imprisoned until he calmed down.

  Kelly pulled out her phone. “You got two choices, mister. You leave peaceably or I get the police over here to arrest you. Then your mother will have to bail you out.”

  “She’s still in jail. I don’t have the money to get her out. Grandpa’s coming.”

  “Wonderful,” Quinn said.

  “In that case I won’t feel bad about having you arrested too. It’s your choice.” Kelly waggled the phone in front of his face.

  “Let me go.”

  “Are you going to act like an adult?” Quinn asked.

  “Okay.”

  Quinn let him go but jumped back knowing, Kelly guessed, that Paul would swing at him.

  Jason was about to step between them, but Kelly restrained him. Paul backed toward his car. “You’ll pay for this, I swear, all of you.”

  “That sounds like a threat.” Kelly flipped open her cell phone.

  “Take it any way you want.”

  “I’ve already been paying for the past quarter century,” Quinn said.

  “I don’t want to hear it.”

  “You never do.”

  The jazzy yellow sports car sped away, leaving enough rubber to pave two strips to the corner.

  “Who bought him that?” Quinn asked. “Grandpa?”

  “You guessed it,” Jason said.

  “You think you’ll get a college graduation present like that?” Kelly asked.

  The boy smirked. “I doubt it. I’ve always sided with Dad. Besides, Paul never graduated.”

  “Yeah, I paid for a first term for him at three different colleges and that was it. After that I started saving for Jason.”

  “Free tuition in the fall. Super. At least I got all my paperwork straightened out.”

  Kelly smiled at the pair. “I hate to crack the whip, but we might still get that water heater fixed today and spec out the materials for the new wiring.”

  “Let’s do it,” Jason said. “What took so long was this sale on gas water heaters. So I picked one up. They don’t cost that much.”

  “Jason, you are fantastic, a kid who thinks for himself.” Kelly went to look at the new purchase. “I’m not promising to get this in right away but it will fit.” Kelly smiled at Quinn, who was grinning with pride in his son.

  Quinn liked the way Kelly shrugged off Paul’s threats and got right back to work. He wished he could dismiss his son’s temper as easily as she seemed to, but what could Paul do? Quinn just hoped working with him and Jason had no repercussions for Kelly. He liked the way Earl, the chief of police, seemed to be at her beck and call. He even wondered to himself if Earl might be her long-lost father, but he had no reason to think so. Earl probably just liked her, the way Quinn liked her except without the sexual attraction.

  It did occur to him that he was too old for Kelly. Under other circumstances she might even date his son sooner than himself. But Quinn and Kelly so clearly shared the same interests. He just had to get divorced first and, when he wasn’t feeling riddled with doubt decide if he was a good candidate for Kelly.

  Her rules about men bothered and intrigued him. If only she had them all written down so he could know if he was violating any of them. It sounded like some things men took for granted women didn’t like at all. The reverse was certainly true. There was no place to relax in Brenda’s house, which was why he’d spent so much time in the office and actually why he’d spotted the accounting irregularities. Funny how things worked out. Brenda’s coldness had driven him to a place where he had time to audit things thoroughly and discover her father was breaking the law.

  He sensed there were women who were deeper than men in some respects, or maybe they analyzed the opposite sex more. They certainly looked before they leaped and didn’t assume all men were more or less the same. No, that was just some of them. Look at the mistake Sue had made and apparently it was not her first. Maybe the same thing could be said of some men. At least Kelly was learning not to tar them all with the same brush.

  He just had to make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. What were the chances? Most of all he had to protect her and Jason from anything Paul and Brenda could think up to do to them.

  * * * * *

  When they arrived back at Kelly’s house for supper, she paused at the screen door and looked back at her guests. The smells coming from her kitchen weren’t quite so enticing as they had been the day before. Bea was at the stove and she had made her favorite, hot dogs and sauerkraut. Since Kelly had consumed this treat almost every Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s as a child, she was less than eager, but Quinn carried the pot outside to the picnic table and Jason brought the buns and dug right in. Kelly cut a bowl of salad to alleviate the pink and beige with some green. Where had her Mom gotten hot dogs? Kelly hadn’t bought any, certainly not sauerkraut. Bea must have spent some of her money on actual food. Kelly’s head was reeling. Was this a peace offering?

  “Where are Sue and the kids?” Kelly asked Bea. “Picking out paint, I hope.” She did not ask what Bea was doing in her house, since a cooked meal, even a stinky one, was something you should appreciate.

  “They went to the park. You all worked hard today. I thought I’d come over and cook you a meal for old times’ sake. Sue has a date.”

  A piece of lettuce got sucked against Kelly’s windpipe and she coughed until Quinn was starting to rise with that Heimlich look on his face.

  “I’m okay,” she whispered. “I thought Sue said she was off of men for good.”

  “Guess she changed her mind.” Bea waved her fork like a magic wand with a round of hot dog speared on the end.

  Bea didn’t eat hot dogs on buns, just sliced them into little rounds on her plate. Kelly could remember those little rounds on her highchair tray. Guess she hadn’t turned out too bad for a kid raised on hot dogs as the basic protein.

  “Aren’t you going to ask what he’s like?” Bea prompted.

  “I’ll meet him soon enough. How’d she get to know him?” Kelly was busy scraping off all the sauerkraut she could from her hot dog.

  “He came to get his hair cut.”

  “That’s refreshing—not a bar pick-up.”

  “He’s a karate teacher.”

  “I see where she’s going with this. Free protection. Could be a good move.”

  Bea glared at her. “You are so mercenary!”

  Coming from Kelly’s mom, that was a pretty big insult. Kelly glanced at Quinn and he was struggling not to break up.

  “I just meant he’ll be some use to her.”

  “Is that all men are for, providing safety?”

  “Of course not. My expectation is that they would also work outside the home to help buy food and pay insurance, at least as much as the woman works.” Kelly felt like she was lecturing a five-year-old.

  Bea plucked the round off her fork. “No wonder you’re still single.”

  Quinn was now in immediate danger of choking on his own bite of hot dog. Kelly went over in her mind the Heimlich instructions, just in case.

  Jason reached for another bun. “Marriage should be a partnership. Whatever the man and woman contribute it should balance out.”

  “Thank you,” Kelly said. “As soon as I eat I’m heading back for the house. With no insurance I don’t like to leave it for long.” She didn’t say, especially with an almost e
x-wife and a rebellious son on the rampage, not to mention the threatened grandfather.

  “We’ll all go,” Jason said. “I feel fine—that is—unless the two of you…”

  “Better quit while you’re behind, son. I propose we take turns guarding the place. Every third night in a sleeping bag won’t be a burden to anyone if Kelly is willing.”

  “Excellent solution,” she said. “It will give me a chance to do my lawn. By the way, Bea, thanks for making supper for us.”

  “You’re welcome.” Bea seemed surprised and Kelly wondered if she had shrugged off overtures from her mother in the past that she should have welcomed. Or was Bea just putting on an act for Quinn and Jason?

  “It’s my turn,” Quinn said. “I’ll go back up before it gets dark.”

  Quinn declined dessert, ice cream again, and drove off in his car, probably to make sure Jason didn’t take the risk of driving it until they got an assessment of the damage. It rattled but did not smoke. It just looked hideous.

  Kelly wished she knew more about cars. Maybe Quinn could mentor her on that. To her relief the mower always started for her. She did the front lawn first since it was more noticeable.

  Truth to tell, Kelly would rather be in a sleeping bag at Quinn’s place, especially if it was his sleeping bag, but she didn’t want to set a bad example for Jason, her mother or Sue by appearing to shack up with a still married guy.

  Just then a sleek champagne-colored van pulled up and the kids launched out of it with two stuffed animals each. Sue stayed in the vehicle so Kelly stopped the mower and marched out to the curb.

  “Bea came over and cooked. We have plenty of food left if you two are hungry.”

  “We ate. Kelly this is Devin Mason.”

  The guy with long blond hair nodded and smiled. Kelly would have sold her soul for hair like that. “Nice to meet you. Want to come in?”