Angel Series Books #1-2.5

by Tracy Lorraine

  After we have eaten, Mum instructs us to pack up all the presents from under the tree because we are taking them with us to open with Dad. Apparently, she spoke to the nurses yesterday and because he is in a side room and is doing well, we are allowed in a little earlier today to celebrate with him. Mum has already prepped our dinner for later and she puts the turkey in as we head out the door, so she’ll only have to do the final bits when we return in a few hours.

  I feel really bad as I watch my sisters leave the house with bags of presents, because I haven’t bought Mum and Dad anything, and what Molly and I did get for my sisters is still at home. I didn’t think of grabbing them before I left. So the only presents I can take with me are the ones Molly packed in my bag yesterday before I left.

  I wait as Mum pokes her head around Dad’s door to see if he’s awake. “Merry Christmas, darling,” she sings as she pushes the door wider and gestures for us to follow.

  “Merry Christmas, Dad,” the three of us say as we enter the room.

  “Ryan,” Dad says with a gravelly voice. “What are you doing here, son?”

  “You’re in hospital, in case you’ve forgotten. I needed to be here for you, old man!”

  “Enough of that, please. Come here,” he says, holding his arms up so I walk over and gently give him a hug. The others follow suit after he’s let me go.

  We’ve been chatting for about thirty minutes before a nurse comes in and asks us to leave for a few minutes while they do some tests on Dad.

  “We are going to get coffee, want one?’” Abbi asks as we step out into the corridor.

  “Ryan,” Mum says after Abbi and Liv have turned a corner away from us. “Come and sit, I want to talk to you.”

  I do as she says, but I am apprehensive about what she is about to come out with. If she is going to say anything about Molly, I think I may just get up and leave. I already hate that I am spending today without her; I don’t need Mum slagging her off as well.

  “Ryan…I am so sorry about what I did. It was selfish of me to try to run your life the way I think it should be. I never should have tried to pay Molly off, but at least I now know that she is serious. I’m sorry to say it, but I thought she’d take it and run. I-”

  “You saying that just shows me how little you actually know about her, and what you are basing your opinions on. She is not like that at all.”

  “I see that now. Look, I’m not going to go into all my reasons for not liking her, because I’ve been wrong. But let me just say this,” she looks down and holds one of my hands in both of hers. She takes a deep breath before looking back up into my eyes. “I had the shock of my life yesterday. I cannot imagine my life without your dad. He is the other half of me. It suddenly hit me yesterday that that could be what I’ve been trying to keep you from having. Okay, so Molly may not have been my ideal woman for you-” I go to interrupt but am stopped by the look on her face, “but as you have said before, that is not for me to decide, and if she is your other half then I need to be happy for you because if she makes you even half as happy as your dad has me over the years, then it is worth fighting for.”

  Wow, I really did not see that coming. I reach up and wipe a tear that has fallen off Mum’s cheek while I think about her words.

  “Mum…I…I’m completely in love with her. She’s my everything. We’ve been together for a couple of months and I can honestly say I’ve never been happier.” I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face, actually telling someone that.

  “Then you need to make damn sure you are her everything too, son. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, and if Molly does that, then…I can’t wait to meet her…the real her.”

  I wrap my arms around my mum’s tiny frame and whisper, “Thank you,” in her ear.

  A few seconds later, the nurse appears from Dad’s room, saying that we can go back in. We barely sit down before Abbi and Liv reappear with our coffees.

  “Did I see you bring presents?” Dad asks us.

  “Yes. Girls, do you want to start handing them out.”

  I stop them before they make a dive for the bags. “Um…I’m really sorry, but I haven’t got anything for you guys. Mum, I was so annoyed with you that I haven’t actually got you anything…sorry,” I say with a grimace, “and I left yours at home,” I say to my sisters.

  “Ryan, don’t worry about it. You’re here and that’s all that matters. And I’m hoping I’m forgiven?”

  “As long as you do as you just said, then yes.” I feel three sets of eyes staring between us.

  Eventually, Dad breaks the silence by telling Mum he is proud of her. And just because I can’t hold it in any longer, seeing as today was the day we were going to tell everyone, the words just come spilling out of my mouth, “I’m in love with Molly and we’ve been together secretly for a while now,” I say in a rush.

  “Secretly, my arse!” Abbi says laughing.

  “Does this mean we can all admit that we already knew now?” Liv asks.

  “Yes, shut up, smartarse. I know we weren’t actually very secretive, but we knew people would have opinions so we needed to make sure it was serious first.”

  “I’m happy for you, son. She’s a good girl,” Dad says with a smile on his face.

  “Yes, she is.”

  We’ve been handing out presents around the room for about twenty minutes now. I’ve got the standard socks and pants of Mum and Dad as well as a family photo for my house, a couple of cookbooks and a rather large voucher for a garden centre to buy myself a set of garden furniture. I have also opened a t-shirt from my sisters and all kinds of smellies. They have also given me a bag to take home for Molly. I’m feeling very guilty sat here, not being able to give anything back. Well, that is until my mum squeals on the other side of Dad’s bed.

  “What is it?” we all ask her at the same time.

  We all watch as she gets up and comes running towards me with some paperwork in her hand before hugging me tightly. “You said you didn’t get us anything, you liar!” she says, laughing. Her delight is clear on her face with whatever she has just looked at.

  “Mum, I wasn’t lying. I really haven’t bought anything.”

  She stands back and looks at me before passing the paper over. My eyes go wide as I read what it says.

  “Holy shit.”

  “What is it?” Liv asks.

  “It’s a voucher for a holiday in Paris in Mum and Dad’s name…from me and…MOLLY! She did this,” I say, looking up to Mum. “Molly has done this…I had no idea.”

  “Why would she do that after what I did to her?” Mum asks, confused.

  “Because this is who she is, Mum, not whatever you had in your head. I told her I wasn’t getting you anything because of what happened, but she wasn’t happy about it.”

  “We were talking about wanting to go to Paris that weekend at yours over dinner. She must have been listening.”

  “See…this is who Molly is,” I say again, just to make sure she knows it.

  The surprises for me don’t end there though, because before long, Abbi and Liv get handed similar looking envelops and look equally as excited.

  “What has she done now?” I ask, laughing.

  “She has booked for the three of us to go to London to watch a show we were talking about for a weekend later in the year,” they explain and show me the paperwork.

  Well shit…if my girlfriend isn’t the most caring woman in the world, then I don’t know who is. I just wish she were here to see the excited looks on their faces when they opened them. She would have loved it.

  “Ryan, are you going to open that?” Mum asks, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  When I look up, I see that she is nodding towards the presents that are on my lap. Apparently the last ones in the room to be opened. I’ve been holding off, because after seeing what she got my family I’m kind of scared to see what she got me.

  The first couple I open are fine: more boxers, some t-shirts and jeans. There’s
a photograph of the two of us that I took in bed one night; no one but us would know we were naked at the time, and that thought makes me smile. I look down at the last box and slowly start to pull the paper away. My heart starts beating fast and my hands start to sweat a little because if I know Molly like I think I do, then whatever is in here is going to knock me on my arse.

  “Fuck,” is all I can say when the box emerges from the paper. I slowly open it up and there, gleaming at me, is the most stunning timepiece I have ever seen.

  “Holy shit…do you know how much that costs?” Abbi says next to me in a slightly higher voice than usual. All I can do is nod as I pull the watch out of the box. Something tells me to turn it over and when I do I see that I was right. There, inscribed on the back, are Molly’s words.

  All of my love,

  Forever.

  Molly x

  The memory of us in the shower the night of the stag do hits me at full force, remembering when she said those words for the first time. I feel myself tear up and Abbi’s hand comes to rest on my shoulder in comfort.

  After just staring at it for a few minutes while the room is in silence, I slide the watch into place on my wrist before standing up and looking at everyone’s slightly chocked up faces.

  “I’m sorry, but there is somewhere I need to be.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Molly

  When I woke up this morning, it took me a few seconds to place where I was. I stretched my arm out across the bed to find Ryan, but he wasn’t there. It wasn’t until the unmistakable smell of Susan’s homemade waffles hit my nose that I remembered where I was, that Ryan wasn’t here with me, and that I was spending another Christmas alone. Yes, I know I have the Morrisons, but I want Ryan. I want my first Christmas with my boyfriend.

  “Good morning, angel. Merry Christmas,” Susan sings from her spot in front of the oven as I join the rest of the family around the table.

  As soon as my arse hits the chair, Susan is placing a plate of hot waffles and a mug of steaming hot tea in front of me. I instantly reach of for the mug and hold it in both of my hands.

  “Is this new?” Susan asks, lifting my wrist up.

  “Yes, it was a Christmas present from Ryan. I opened it before I came down.”

  I look down at the charm bracelet that I am now proudly wearing on my wrist. I can’t help smiling but at the same time my eyes start to water at Ryan’s thoughtfulness. There are two charms currently on my bracelet: one is an angel, and the other is two rose gold interlocked hearts.

  Susan looks up from inspecting the two charms when I sniff. She smiles at me with her eyes full of sympathy as she wipes a tear from my cheek that has escaped without me knowing. “He’ll be back before you know it,” she whispers to me, before going back to making sure we are all full to bursting with breakfast.

  “Mum, how long until dinner’s ready?” Dec asks after we have finished opening all the presents quite a while later.

  “Two hours yet, angel.”

  “How are you hungry already?” Lilly asks, bemused, “You had like, twenty waffles this morning!”

  “An engine this perfect needs good fuel, Lil,” Dec says while lifting his shirt to show off his abs just to prove a point.

  “Oh, put it away, no one wants to see your body, Dec,” Lilly says, throwing a cushion at him.

  “Huh, my abs usually get a different reaction from women,” he deadpans while smirking and returning the cushion, which hits Lilly square on the head.

  I decide to get up before they start properly fighting. “Well, I’m going to tidy this up, if you want to help,” I say, looking around the room at all the scrunched up wrapping paper, “Then I’m going for a lie down, if that’s okay?”

  We have spent the past hour opening all the gifts that were under their huge tree. I love everything that the Morrisons have bought me. Susan, as always, got everyone perfect presents. I love sitting and watching them all enjoy opening what they have got. I don’t need presents; watching the happiness around me is enough, even if it is tinged with a little sadness with the loss of Hannah. No one has mentioned her yet, so I’m guessing everyone is just trying to get through the day in one piece. I can’t imagine she is far from anyone’s minds, though.

  “Of course, don’t worry about this, tweedle dee and tweedle dum here can get it,” Susan says, pointing at the twins.

  I make my way up to the guest bedroom that I slept in last night, stopping off on the way to relieve myself. When I looked in the mirror, all I could see was my sad tired eyes. No wonder everyone has been acting strangely around me; I look like I could break down at any moment. My skin is unusually pale, my eyes have dark rings around them, and they are rimmed in red, from tiredness or crying after opening my presents from Ryan earlier, I’m not really sure.

  I lean back against the bedroom as soon as the latch clicks closed, and let out a huge sigh. I glance around the room and the moment my eyes land on the teddy bear Ryan bought for me sat in the middle of the bed, a sob erupts from me without warning. I never in a million years thought he would go back to the toy store and get it for me.

  My back slides down the door until my arse hits the floor. I put my head on my knees and give myself over to my tears.

  The stress of the last few weeks with work being crazy, Ryan’s mum, my parents and brothers has taken its toll, and I am completely exhausted. I love Ryan with everything I am, but hiding our relationship for the past couple of months has been hard. I know that it was the right thing to do, but keeping secrets from the people closet to me has caused more stress than I thought it would. I am done hiding; I told Ryan that we would tell everyone today, and I intend on doing that. I hoped that we would be together when we told everyone our news, but that obviously isn’t how fate intended it happen.

  Once I’ve pulled myself together slightly, I get myself up off the floor and slump down on the edge of the bed. I pull my phone out of my jeans pocket before lying back on the pillow and putting it to my ear, after pressing Call on Ryan’s name.

  It rings until it goes to voicemail, again. I drop the phone next to me, grab the teddy and hold it close to my chest.

  I know it’s not Ryan’s fault; his dad his ill, for fuck’s sake, but I can’t stop feeling like I’ve been abandoned. I know that’s not true. I could tell by the look in his eyes when we parted yesterday. He didn’t want to leave just as much as I didn’t want him to go.

  I missed his call last night because I had already fallen asleep and had stupidly left my phone on silent. Then both times I have rang him today his phone has gone to voicemail. I’m trying my best not to get annoyed with him because he is probably in the hospital, but it’s not that easy. It’s Christmas day, and I haven’t spoken to my boyfriend.

  I hope that Dave is doing okay and that the reason he hasn’t rung is because there is a problem. Ryan doesn’t need anything else to deal with after losing Hannah and then his grandad not so long ago.

  I think about him opening the presents I got him and smile to myself when I think about his shocked looking face when he opens the watch he has wanted for years. Well, it’s not quite the one he’s wanted, because it’s the top of the range one. I just couldn’t stop myself, I want him to think of me every time he looks at it. I wonder if he had the same thought when he bought my bracelet? It took me so long to decide what to have inscribed in the back, but in the end I went with simply telling him how I feel.

  I wonder if he’s opened it yet. I’d like to think that if he has then he would have rung me. Plus, there are the gifts I posted up for his family. I don’t care how wrong his mum’s actions towards me were, she is still his mum and deserves a Christmas present for all the years she has been there for him. And his sisters – well, admittedly that is a present for me as well, but I know how excited they will be about our weekend away because they have been talking about going for months. Again, I would hope Ryan would have rung as soon as he found out what I had done.

  I wonder what
he is doing right this minute, is the last thing I remember thinking before I doze off.

  I come round feeling really hot. At some point I’d managed to get myself under the covers whilst still being fully clothed. I flip them off and turn over, keeping the bear tight to my chest. I have no idea how long I have been asleep, but I feel like I could do with some more. I’m just fading away again when I get the feeling that I have eyes on me.

  I crack open one eye to put my mind at rest. I mean, I’m in the Morrisons’ guest room - who the hell would be watching me sleep?

  When I open my eye I have to blink a couple of times, because what I’m seeing cannot be right. I must be dreaming. I open them both this time just to check, but he’s still there and it’s not my imagination playing tricks on me.

  Standing, leaning back against the door where I was not so long ago, is Ryan. The corners of his lips curl up when he sees me looking at him. I run my eyes all over him, because if this is a dream I need to make the most of it. He has on his black boots with his dark jeans tucked into them. I run my eyes up his thick thighs to where his jeans are resting low on his hips, giving me a hint of what he’s wearing underneath. I continue my journey, taking in his thick knit jumper that is stretched over his broad chest and shoulders. I run my eyes up his neck. I take in his stubble-covered jaw, up past his eyes, and to his head, that is covered in a grey knit beanie hat. It is sitting so far back on his head I have no idea how it is staying put, but he looks edible with his messy dirty blonde hair sticking out the front and falling over his eyes.

  I go to repeat my actions but I am pulled from my thoughts when he moves towards me. He lowers himself so that he is sitting on the edge of the mattress and looks down at me while running his knuckles down my cheek.

  “Am I dreaming?”