Scarred Cliff Volume 2

by Skylar Heart

  “Ah.” I laugh. “I guess that means we’re back in the real world, then? No more fairytale days, but thinking of making sure we have enough toilet paper and that the dishes are done each day.”

  “Seems like it.” Tom comes over, pouring himself a big mug of coffee. “On that note... We need to talk about something.” His voice has gone serious, and when I look at him, his eyes are a little sad, giving me a bad feeling in my stomach. Why do I feel like I’m not going to like this ‘talk’?

  “Okay.” I pour myself some coffee too and sit down at the table. “What’s up?”

  “We’ve been thinking, and talking last night...” Tom looks down at his mug, not meeting my eyes.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m really going to sell the house.” He sounds really sad and my heart drops. “No matter if we’re buying this house, or if we’ll find something else. I’m going to sell it. I can’t stay there.”

  I get up, going over to him, and I wrap my arms around him tightly. “Okay.”

  “I can’t do this on my own anymore.” His voice breaks. “I can’t keep living there, and I can’t... I can’t make it work anymore. Too many memories. Too many reminders.”

  I nod, tears in my eyes. “I understand. I do.”

  I understand too well. We need to break away, we need to break away from everything we got stuck in three years ago, when we stopped living, when we started just surviving. We all need a break, and we all need help to start fully living again. All of us.

  2

  Mia

  When I woke up this morning, I found a very grumbly Dylan in the kitchen. It seems that the toilet paper upstairs had run out right as he was on the toilet and we were also running low in the downstairs toilet. So, we had to make a grocery run for the less-fun things, like toilet paper and cleaning supplies and things like that, necessities, but not stuff you want to shop for often.

  We’re on our way back to the house, Dylan’s car loaded to the very top. As we were making a list with ‘much needed’ supplies, we also sat down to make a list for food we’d need for the rest of the week, planning a couple of dinners and breakfasts, so that we didn’t have to worry about those things later, after Tom and Dylan got back from work in the evening. Makes life a little easier on all of us.

  “Do you think...” Dylan glances my way, before he looks back to the road.

  “Do I think, what?” What’s he being so mysterious about? He’s been quiet the whole way back and I have no idea what’s going on in his head.

  He pulls a face. “Do you think you’ll be up to checking one of the other bedrooms upstairs? Maybe, you know, clean it out, give us all a bit more space to put our things.”

  “Oh.” I blink. I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that I still have so much cleaning to do in the house. That no matter if the guys, or all of us, buy it or not, we’ll still need to clean it out because if we’re not buying it, someone else will buy it and it will need to be empty anyway. “I... I guess...”

  “You don’t have to, if you’re not up to it. But it would be good if we had an extra room upstairs. That way, Elly can sleep there, instead of in the back room. If they’re staying over all the time...” If Tom and Elly keep staying over, instead of going back to their house some evenings, we’re really going to need the extra space.

  Thinking of it as making space for Elly, something she can call her own, and also more space for the rest of us to live, it makes imagining cleaning up the rooms a lot easier. “Sure. We can do that. Not Grandma’s bedroom yet. I can’t... But the other room is fine.”

  There are three rooms upstairs. One was Grandma’s bedroom, one a guestroom, which is where we’re currently sleeping, and one was more of a storage/hobby room. Grandma had a lot of different hobbies, and some of them she kept up there because it was easier than keeping them in the back room downstairs, usually because they took up a lot of space or because she didn’t want other people to get into them all the time. It was her ‘own space’, while the back room was more a space that she shared when people came over.

  “All in your time, I promise.” Dylan reaches out and puts his hand over mine. “Just, you know, making a little progress is probably a good idea and while Elly sleeps through a lot, I don’t think that keeping her in that back room is a good idea. We’re going to wake her up one evening, just from laughing or talking.”

  “Yeah.” I nod, smiling a little. “It means that we don’t have to keep our voice down all the time, and maybe Jake can keep his things out on the table there, instead of having to keep packing things up every time.” If he doesn’t, then Elly has a habit to ‘play researcher’ with his things when she wakes up, mixing up his notes and leaving pen marks on everything... He doesn’t really appreciate it, though he’s never gotten cross with her over it, but better not tempt fate.

  “Right. That too.” He squeezes my hand for a moment and then turns onto the road that will get us to the little town, rolling hills on both sides of us, and if I try hard enough I can see the sea in the distance.

  I guess we’re going to have to come up with an office or a study room, if we’re going to keep living there. Because Jake will need one for his research, but Dylan also needs one for his work for his classes, so he can grade and prepare in peace, and I guess just having a place to quietly work is a good idea.

  More grownup things to think about. More things to consider if we’re all going to live there, like how we’re going to make the house work for us, how we’re going to make it ‘ours’...

  That is, if my parents are okay with the whole plan, which I’m not so sure of yet. I’ve not heard anything from them yet, but I did have a feeling that Dad felt that we were a little young to buy the place, even though Tom bought his house years ago and the rest of us didn’t really have a chance to do anything like that, more because of finances than being too ‘young’ or anything like that.

  But I guess that my parents still feel that we’re much younger than we are, or they’re just being protective...

  The kitchen is very different with the big table in it, but it definitely makes eating together a lot easier, especially when everyone can put their plate on the table and actually has the space to move around while eating.

  All the groceries from the shopping trip are laid out on the table and we’re slowly going through them, finding the right place for everything, finding a place where things fit and where they won’t be in the way all the time.

  The closet in the hallway works great as a place to store snacks and cookies, and the fizzy drinks can live in the conservatory with the washing machine and the dryer and everything, since that room is really cold this time of year, so they’ll stay cool there. The veggies and fruits can stay there too, since the fridge is currently filled with tonight’s dinner, fresh pizzas.

  We didn’t think that we’d be up for much cooking after a day of doing things around the house, plus, after yesterday, we can probably all use a day off.

  I pick up a big six-pack of bags of coffee. “We go through this much in a week?” I stare at it, not really believing what I’m seeing. We really drink this much?

  “Only if Tom and I are at work during the week.” Dylan laughs. “I guess we drink a lot of coffee around here.”

  I glare at him. “That’s not healthy. This much coffee can’t be good for us.” I know that I also drink a lot of it, so I guess I can’t just look at them for this, but it’s still way too much. It feels like too much even for five adults.

  Jake comes into the kitchen, smiling. “I think that we’ll be cutting down soon.” He walks over, wrapping his arms around me from the back, putting his hands over my hands, as I’m still holding the coffee. “I think we went through so much because most of us didn’t sleep a lot these last couple of weeks. Once we get more sleep, we should be able to stay awake without it.” He kisses my shoulder as a troubling feeling settles in my stomach.

  Of course. We all slept poorly, and most of that was my fault. I ran awa
y at the worst time possible, and I made life harder for everyone.

  “Don’t go there in your head.” Jake wraps one arm around my waist, pulling me against him, as he guides me to put the coffee down. “We all had our demons to fight. We all had reasons why we didn’t always sleep well. That’s not on you, that’s just on the world being crappy.”

  “But...” But me leaving definitely didn’t help any.

  “Nope.” Dylan stands up, coming over too, putting his fingers under my chin, running his thumb over my lower lip. “You don’t get to blame yourself for that. Life sucks, that’s, sadly enough, how it is.” Then he leans in and gives me a soft kiss. “But there are ways to make life a little more fun, a little easier.”

  My heart flutters and I grab hold of his shirt. How can he distract me so easily?

  Jake nuzzles my neck, pushing away my hair with his nose, and then he starts softly kissing my neck as Dylan kisses me again, harder this time. My whole body starts to heat up, needing them, needing their touch, their love, needing all of them.

  One of Jake’s hands disappears under my shirt, his fingers on my bare skin, when someone makes a very uncomfortable sound from the door to the hallway and we break apart quickly.

  When I look in the direction of the hallway, I find Tom’s mother standing there, Elly in her arms, and my cheeks flame up even more, this time of shame. Oops...

  That was not supposed to happen. We were not supposed to be found out like that.

  “Daddy!” Elly breaks free of her grandma’s arms and darts to the back of the house, where Tom and Mal are fixing up the back room to be a bit more livable, moving some things around to fit the smaller table in there while also giving us more space for other things.

  “Hello, Tom’s mum.” I nod her way, pulling my shirt down as I try very hard not to look her in her eyes, not wanting to see the disappointed or upset look.

  Yeah, not good. Definitely not good.

  Fuck.

  3

  Tom

  Well, this is a chat I’m not really ready to have just yet... I wish that Mum hadn’t caught Mia making out with both Dylan and Jake at the same time, but at least she doesn’t seem entirely upset by it, just surprised.

  “I guess some of the things Elly has been saying make more sense now.” Mum looks around the kitchen.

  We’re all sitting at the table, having tea and cookies, since that seemed the most adult/responsible thing to do.

  Elly? What has Elly been saying? I look at my little girl, but she’s totally oblivious as she’s dunking cookies in her tea, making a big mess of it.

  “Again, I’m so sorry.” Mia is still bright red, and every time she looks at Mum, it seems to get worse. I can’t imagine how shocked she must have felt, to be caught like that.

  “No. That was my own fault. I should have knocked.” Mum smiles a little. “But the door was ajar, and I didn’t really expect anything going on. Definitely not... that.” Right.

  And since we never really expect people to come over, we don’t really pay attention to things like closing doors during the day. I guess we’re going to have to start paying more attention to that soon... We were just lucky that we haven’t had surprise visitors before.

  “I’m so sorry.” Dylan awkwardly plays with a cookie in his hands.

  “So, I guess when Elly says that her daddy has been really happy living with a group of people, including her uncles, that she wasn’t making anything up. You really have all been living together?” Mum now looks at me and I nod.

  “Yeah, mostly. We’ve been... Sometimes. Not always. I usually go back home in the evening with Elly during the week.” This is awkward, how am I going to explain this to her?

  “And the rest of you sleep here?” Mum looks to the others, who nod. “All of you?” They nod again. “In different bedrooms?” That gets her a couple of really awkward shaking of heads. “Oh.” She blinks, taking it all in. Then she looks at me. “Is this serious? Are you going to stay here, with Elly? Is that your plan?”

  I slowly nod. “Yeah. They make me happy. And Elly loves it too.” I wouldn’t even consider it if Elly wasn’t up for it.

  Mum gives me a soft smile. “She loves having a happy Daddy. But I’m not so sure...” She lets out a slow breath. “What will other people think when they hear about this? How will you explain all of this?”

  “I don’t know yet.” I’ve been working so hard on keeping us all together that I’ve not really thought about how we’re going to explain things once everything has settled down. Especially since there wasn’t really a ‘this’ to be talking about yet. We had no idea if we’d even all have a future together. “We’re still trying to figure it all out.”

  “People will start to notice.” She keeps looking at me. “They will start to notice that you’re happier, that you’re all happier, and they will start to put two and two together. What then?”

  “We’ll deal with that when the time comes.” I finish off my tea. “For now, we’re still trying to see how this all works, how we’re going to make this work in the future. Nothing is sure yet. We’re not... We don’t know yet.”

  Then Mum looks at Mal and Dylan. “Do your parents know?” They both shake their heads. And then she looks at Mia. “Yours?”

  Mia shrugs awkwardly. “I think mine may have an idea of what’s going on... At least, they know that we’ve all been living together. I don’t know if they make anything more of it than that.”

  “Right.” Mum nods, her voice dropping slightly. “How would they feel about it, if they found out?”

  “I don’t think they’d say much.” Mia starts to smile a little. “I think they’ve always presumed that this is what we did every summer I was here anyway. I don’t think they’d be surprised.”

  I can’t help my own smile at that. Yeah, I don’t think her parents would be very surprised. When we told them that we wanted to buy this house they weren’t surprised by what we said, but more about us being ‘too young’ to be buying a house. They probably presumed that we’ve always been more of a group than really having separate relationships, and, looking back, maybe that was the case. We were just more concerned with keeping boundaries back in the day but not anymore.

  Jake lets out a short laugh. “My parents would be surprised, no matter what we’d be doing. Wanting to move away from the city, starting to live together with someone, no matter if it’s one or multiple someones. Yeah, they’d be surprised. Just not for the same reasons.”

  “Well, Mr Bachelor.” Mal laughs. “I see we’ve got a lot to teach you...”

  “Teach me?” Jake pokes Mal, who jerks to the side, trying to avoid Jake’s fingers a second time. “What are you going to teach me?”

  “Everything.” Mal jumps off his chair and darts off into the hallway, Jake following him, both of them calling out things about ‘teaching’ and ‘pretty sure I’ve got to teach you something’. Let’s hope they keep the language in this argument of them kid-friendly...

  “What are you going to do next?” Mum looks at me again.

  “We don’t know yet, exactly. And we’re not ready to share much as long as we’re not sure.” I’m not going to discuss these things with my mum, not right now, not as long as I’m not sure about what’s happening with this house, and my own house. And I’ve had enough discussions about that for now.

  “Okay.” Mum nods. “I guess I’m just worried about you, and about Elly, about her future. But it appears that my opinions aren’t welcome right now.” She slowly gets up. “I’ll be going then. Have a good day together, and I just hope things work out. You deserve to be happy. You all deserve to be happy.” She gives Elly a quick hug. “I’ll see you next week, little girl.”

  “Bye. We’re going to make more cookies next week.” Elly grins, and gets out of her chair, wandering over to the living room, to her toys and things.

  “I’ll see you out.” I get up too and Mum opens her mouth, but then simply nods.

  “I’d like th
at, thanks.” She takes her jacket and puts it on, then we go to the front door and I put my shoes on. As we’re walking down the path to the bottom of the garden, Mum glances at me. “Are you really sure about this? Living together with such a big group? It will be loud and busy at all times.”

  I nod, opening the gate. “Yes. Because the house has been much too quiet. I’m tired of living in silence. It’s good to have some noise in the house, especially when it’s the laughter of other people, happy people.”

  She keeps looking at me and I’m not sure how to read her right now. “I just hope that you won’t get hurt.”

  “I hope so too.” I close the gate behind her. “I’ll see you next week.”

  “See you next week” She starts walking down the muddy road and I walk back up to the house.

  The house, the place filled with people who love each other, who love me, and the place I hope to be sharing with them for a long time. Even if nothing is certain, I know that I want this to happen. I want to stay here, with them, for as long as possible.

  When I reach the house again, Mia is standing in the doorway, smiling at me, and she takes my hands, pulling me inside. “I’ve got an idea.” She pulls me along to the stairs. “Come on.”

  I raise an eyebrow at her, but don’t ask any questions. She looks happy and I like it when she looks happy.

  She stops in front of one of the other doors upstairs, looking a little more serious now. “I think it’s time we clean this room out. That way Elly has a place to sleep that is hers, and maybe she can even feel like this is her home, even a little.”

  I pull Mia against me, not letting her say much more, overcome with emotions. How does she do that, make this seem so simple when it’s all but?