Let's Give It Up for Gimme Lao!

by Sebastian Sim

  There were days when Gimme Lao felt Skye was the only bright spot in his life. When Skye was born, Gimme Lao was still incensed with Wei Wen for hiding the truth about her brother’s condition. He was determined to ignore the joy of the newborn, until Skye grabbed his finger and wouldn’t let go. That was the instance he fell.

  Skye was a delightful baby and a compliant toddler who aimed to please. Before he turned two, he was a devoted thigh hugger. He would mosey around the house, spot a thigh, shriek in delight and cling on for dear life. When the family took the occasional trip on the Mass Rapid Transit, Skye would tear free from Wei Wen’s grasp and hug a stranger’s thigh, all the while giggling himself silly. More often than not the grinning stranger would feel sorry when Wei Wen made the boy release his hold. Gimme Lao loved Skye’s thigh hugs. He was secretly disappointed when the boy eventually outgrew it.

  Once, Gimme Lao found a handmade card on his pillow. The distorted shape of a gigantic butterfly outlined in yellow crayon hovering menacingly over a tiny stick figure was obviously the artwork of Skye from nursery school. Gimme Lao sat the boy on his lap and asked what the drawing meant. Skye explained that the nursery teacher asked all the children to draw their favourite animal as a ‘thank you’ gift for their parents. So Skye drew a yellow butterfly for Gimme Lao and another orange butterfly for Wei Wen. He kissed Gimme on the cheek and said ‘thank you’, as the nursery teacher dictated.

  Gimme Lao felt a lump in his throat. He could never explain to the boy how glad he was that his original decision to abort the pregnancy had been outvoted by Wei Wen and Mary Lao. He secretly thanked his lucky stars that he was prevented from making that horrendous mistake.

  Wei Wen, on the other hand, thanked her lucky stars that Skye turned out to be such a charming bundle of joy. There were days when she felt Skye was the only reason her marriage did not crumble. She could not blame her husband or her in-laws for despising her, not when she had so deliberately hid the condition of her brother from their knowledge. Over time, Mary Lao and her husband relented. After all, Wei Wen’s brother did not live with them and readily melted into the periphery of oblivion while Skye captured their hearts and attention. The two became doting grandparents who were generous with their affection, and Wei Wen received the spillover.

  Her husband, on the other hand, was not ready to forgive her. For the two years that he served in the military, he waived his privilege as a married medical officer to be home every night. He limited his exchanges with her to issues concerning their child and did not choose to share much else. Had she not made a consistent effort, their sex life would have dwindled to nothing over the years.

  Wei Wen had a recurring nightmare. She was standing at the edge of MacRitchie Reservoir, studying the receding waterline with consternation. She knew the Malaysian government was angry at Singapore for one reason or another and harboured malicious intent to turn off their water supply pipelines. The reservoir was drying up. The country was at the mercy of their neighbour. She was at the mercy of her husband and her in-laws. Her Singapore Dream had become a nightmare.

  Wei Wen knew she had to do something. Her husband chose not to share his life with her, but she chose to share herself with him. After the lights were off, she went to work. She had watched enough pornographic videotapes and filmed enough sex romps for Haizad and Zarinah during her teenage years to pick up an extensive bag of tricks. She put what she learned to good use and kept surprising her husband. Although he remained guarded and uncommunicative in the day, he yearned for her to take charge once the lights were off. It was as though they lived life as a polite but distant couple by day, but enjoyed a sizzling, lascivious affair at night. Strangely enough, the pattern of bipolarity kept their marriage alive.

  One morning, Wei Wen was alone in the house with Skye when the doorbell chimed. A gaunt, nervous looking man who looked to be in his 60s stood outside the gate. He asked for Mary Lao and her husband. Wei Wen explained that they were out for their morning taiji session and that he would do well to come back in an hour or two. The elderly man said it was all right. He would squat along the corridor outside and wait.

  Wei Wen’s curiosity got the better of her when her in-laws returned and received the visitor warmly. She brewed them a pot of tea and sat in at the dining table. It turned out that the elderly man was an old neighbour who used to run a barbershop and cut Gimme Lao’s hair when he was a child. Her in-laws called him Barber Bay. It had been 10 years since they had last met.

  After the initial round of pleasantries and reminiscing, Mary Lao finally spoke what was on everyone’s mind. Barber Bay looked terrible. What was he suffering from?

  Barber Bay sighed and said he had no idea. His health had deteriorated at an alarming rate over the last few years. He consulted a series of Chinese physicians and brewed countless pots of herbs, but all to no avail. One of his friends even volunteered to fly to China and help him source for the purest lingzi and rarest ginseng from the deepest, unpolluted mountains. These prized herbs cost an arm and a leg, but beggars couldn’t possibly be choosers. Despite all the money spent, he grew more ill. Now Barber Bay was resigned to the cruel reality. He was dying, and he wanted to visit all his old friends to bid them farewell.

  “But what did the clinic doctor say?” Mary Lao pursued.

  It turned out that Barber Bay did not believe in Western medicine. He had always stayed away from clinics and preferred to seek help from Chinese physicians.

  “Nonsense!” Mary Lao chided. “It is fine to love and defend Chinese traditional culture but when it comes to matters of health and sickness, being stubborn will kill you! I will ask Gimme to set up an appointment for you at the hospital to get tested. You are not dying anytime soon.”

  One week later, Mary Lao asked Gimme Lao for updates while the family was having dinner. Gimme Lao wore a strange expression when he disclosed that Barber Bay had a very severe case of oral thrush.

  “But it can be treated, right?” asked Mary Lao.

  “He will have to come in for further tests,” Gimme Lao sighed. “It could well be a symptom of HIV.”

  For a moment no one spoke. Skye looked around with curiosity as the adults at the table grappled with the disclosure. Gimme Lao’s father was the first to break the silence.

  “That explains why Barber Bay remained unmarried and kept to himself. I never knew the man was gay.”

  “We don’t know that. Although we currently register more gay patients, straight men get struck by the disease too,” Gimme Lao explained.

  Mary Lao’s mind was spinning fast. She knew for a fact that insurance policies did not cover AIDS. She understood that AIDS treatment was not merely futile but exorbitant. Barber Bay had very likely depleted his savings on bogus herbs from China. It was not unthinkable that he would approach her for loans once he was diagnosed with the condition. She would have to think of an excuse to reject him.

  The following week, Mary Lao made a lunch appointment with Elizabeth. She knew the two attended the same church. It soon became clear that the church members were concerned with Barber Bay’s failing health and constantly prayed for him. Elizabeth shared that Barber Bay was the one who brought her to church and connected her to the grace of God. For that, Elizabeth was eternally grateful and kept the man in her prayers every night.

  When Mary Lao gingerly asked if the church had funds to help out members with chronic illnesses, Elizabeth explained proudly that the congregation would not hesitate to raise funds for any brothers or sisters in financial difficulty.

  “That is great!” Mary Lao exclaimed, relieved. “I was so worried that Barber Bay would be left to fend for himself. It would be tough for a single man with no family to look after him.”

  “Our church is his family,” Elizabeth professed with pride.

  Mary Lao’s relief turned out to be short-lived. She was astounded when Barber Bay turned up at her doorstep several days later looking ashen and despondent. The truth was spilled after tea was served. Th
e church had banished Barber Bay after they learnt that he had contracted HIV.

  “But Elizabeth told me they would raise funds to help out with your medical expenses!” Mary Lao exclaimed.

  “They say I have sinned beyond redemption. They say the curse of AIDS was God’s punishment for me for sleeping with a man. But I did not!” Barber Bay sobbed bitterly. The poor man could not even muster the strength to be indignant.

  “Did you not?” Mary Lao queried. “How else could you have contracted the gay disease?”

  Barber Bay shook his head and blew his nose. “I was lonely. And I didn’t want to grow old alone. My friend told me I could go over to Batam Island and find a nice Indonesian girl to take care of me. I could buy a house and she would take care of me in my old age and I would leave her the house and my money. It sounded like a good idea at that time. For the last five years I would work during the week and hop over to Batam on a ferry for the weekend. My girl and my house would be waiting for me. I made her promise she would leave the trade and become my girl and no one else’s. But I was a fool. She must have continued to work during the weekdays and contracted the horrible disease. Now I have AIDS. My church has denounced me and my girl in Batam is the only one left by my side now.”

  Mary Lao winced. She had heard stories of old men who visited Batam Island and splurged their life savings on young flesh. She had thought them lascivious and foolish. But she knew Barber Bay. She believed him to be a kind and gentle man. It was surely loneliness that drove him to the arrangement. Just as the shoot of sympathy sprouted in her heart, Mary Lao heard her husband assure Barber Bay that he could come visit anytime and their door would always be open. Mary Lao winced again.

  Barber Bay began to visit the family regularly. He had dropped out of church, and the neighbours must have heard the story from Elizabeth, for they steered clear of him. Mary Lao and her husband would brew a pot of tea and hear Barber Bay gripe about his misfortune. He had lived an upright, inculpable life. He did not smoke, nor drink, nor gamble. Until five years ago, he had never visited a prostitute. Yes, he admitted he eventually ventured to Batam for paid sex. But he did not mistreat his girl. He bought a property on the island to house her and provided her with a weekly allowance. Other than the missing marriage certificate, he treated her as his wife. Was that sin enough for God to strike him down with such a terrible fate? It was not merely the debilitating illness that wore him down. It was the unanimous ostracising by his church whom he thought was family and by his neighbours whom he thought were friends. He could not understand how God could be so cruel.

  As Barber Bay’s visits intensified, Mary Lao and her husband’s sympathies wore thin. Often, Mary Lao would claim she needed to follow up on some insurance matters and retire to her room, leaving her husband stranded with the old man. Her husband tried to engage Barber Bay in a game of Chinese chess to take his mind off his troubles, but Barber Bay was a hopeless strategist and the uneven playing was as much a torture as the old man’s sullen grouses. Eventually, when Mary Lao learnt that Barber Bay had asked her husband for a loan, she knew she had to take action.

  Elizabeth was pleasantly surprised when Mary Lao called to ask for an invitation to church service on Sunday; she needed to speak to her pastor. After the service, Elizabeth arranged for the three of them to lunch out at the popular chicken rice stall at Queenstown Hawker Centre. Average waiting time stretched beyond 30 minutes, which gave them time to chat.

  Elizabeth had nothing but admiration when she introduced her pastor Larry Kong to Mary Lao. Pastor Kong was a tireless warrior who defended the word of God and stood up to all that was wayward within contemporary society. He understood that the temptations of greed, pride and debauchery were real and omnipresent. He guarded and protected his flock with a fierce motherliness. All who joined his congregation were blessed and safe.

  Mary Lao chose to interrupt before Elizabeth got carried away. That was the exact reason she had come to their church today. One of their members needed help. Barber Bay, who had attended their church for the last 20 years, was in a bad spot now. He had run out of money for his medical treatment, and Mary Lao was hoping the church could raise some funds for him.

  “Barber Bay has betrayed our trust for the last 20 years.” Elizabeth did not hide the look of disgust on her face. “He prayed among us as though he was innocent, when all the while he was engaging in unpardonable sin. He is beyond redemption.”

  Mary Lao turned to Pastor Kong and appealed, “Surely the church would have the compassion to forgive him and lend a hand? He has no one else to turn to.”

  Pastor Kong sighed heavily, “Mary, you must not think our church is lacking in compassion. When Barber Bay was ill, we all kept him in our prayers. When Elizabeth found out that he had contracted HIV, I spoke to him personally. The thing is, he is unrepentant. He refuses even to admit that he is a practising homosexual. How can I help him when he refuses to be honest? I have a flock of followers to take care of, and I cannot allow a diseased heretic to poison the innocent among my flock.”

  “But he claims he caught the disease visiting prostitutes,” Mary Lao insisted.

  “He knows how the church abhors homosexuality. He will never admit to it,” Pastor Kong continued. “I understand you are compassionate and wish to help, Mary. I urge you to come join our church services. You will find many other worthy recipients of your compassion. The unrepentant do not deserve your help. Come to church and stay away from the diseased.”

  That was the moment Mary Lao caught a glimpse of hope. She had come hoping that the church would take over the burden of helping Barber Bay. That door had been shut and bolted. But another door had opened instead. She could step in, and Pastor Kong could relieve her of the guilt of not helping Barber Bay. As the pastor made it very clear, the unrepentant was not deserving of help. The walls of the church would protect her from Barber Bay’s predicament.

  Mary Lao began to attend Pastor Kong’s church. She did not extend the invitation to her husband because she did not see herself lasting very long. Mary Lao was not religious by nature. She did not believe she was born sinful and needed to atone for her sins. Jesus underwent hardship, persecution and sacrificed himself for others. Mary Lao saw no glory in suffering or sacrifice. She was, simply put, godless.

  But Pastor Kong’s sermons surprised her. When he quoted from the Book of Malachi and claimed that God intended his children to enjoy physical health and economic prosperity, Mary Lao pricked up her ears. When he preached that positive confession would unlock the blessings of wealth and abundance, Mary Lao sat up straight. When he encouraged the practice of visualisation to bring forth whatever one desired, Mary Lao felt her fingers tingle. Her earlier and apparently unfounded perception that Christianity was all about suffering and sacrifice was turned on its head.

  “I cannot blame you for that misperception,” Pastor Kong remarked when Mary Lao ventured to query him over lunch one day. “Too many church sermons linger on the topic of suffering, but that is not what Christianity is all about. God did promise prosperity and victory to Israel in the Old Testament. The same applies to us today too. All you have to do is fulfil your part of the faith contract and God will deliver abundance in all its forms to your life.”

  Mary Lao liked what she was hearing. She asked that the pastor elaborate.

  “I have preached about positive confession. You can claim from God all that he promised you by speaking it, by believing it, by visualising it. The faith contract also requires that you give. By faithfully giving a tenth of your wealth to the church, God will return the wealth to you sevenfold. That is how generous God is. When you embrace God, it is a life of abundance without limit that awaits you.”

  Mary Lao did a quick calculation. The church congregation of over a thousand swelled her prospect list instantly. She was certain that once she established her network of relationships, it was quite possible to swell her insurance commission to sevenfold of her tithing.

  “When you
came to us to discuss Barber Bay’s condition, it was God calling out to you to come home. And God needs you to do his work,” Pastor Kong continued. “Your husband, your son, your daughter-in-law, your grandchild, they all need to come home too. Bring them to church, Mary. Bring them home.”

  Mary Lao contemplated the invitation. From her experience, her insurance prospects tended to recoil a little when they read the title of ‘Senior Sales Manager’ on her name card. Which was why she always made it a point to soften the edge by painting herself as a wife, a mother and now a grandmother. The church setting was ideal. She would bring her family. That would open more doors for her.

  The next evening at the dinner table, Mary Lao suggested everyone follow her to church on Sunday. Pastor Kong gave brilliant, progressive sermons that would enlighten them the way they enlightened her. Mary Lao’s husband did not feel like going; but he lacked the courage to raise his objection. The fact that Mary Lao was the one who brought home serious bacon had eroded his voting rights over the decades. Wei Wen did not feel like going either but the fact that she and her child lived in and enjoyed the comforts of the condominium that her mother-in-law paid for made it impolite to decline. Gimme Lao definitely did not feel like going. He simply said he wasn’t interested. He made his own money, so it wasn’t difficult for him to be curt. Skye was too young to comprehend what church meant. His grandmother made it sound like a performance of some sort. Skye hoped there would be some magic involved.

  At church the following Sunday, not only was Pastor Kong delighted to meet Mary Lao’s family, he amplified his jubilance by inviting Mary Lao on stage to give testimony. It was Mary Lao’s compassion and desire to help a lost soul that brought her to church. Hallelujah! The Lord might have lost a child in the form of an unrepentant sinner like Barber Bay, but he brought four more of his children into the Kingdom. Hallelujah! God did his work in miraculous ways. There and then, Pastor Kong vowed to spread his wings over the family to protect them from the evil that lurked outside the church walls. If a grown man like Barber Bay could be lured to commit unpardonable sin, how much more perilous the journey must be, for a pure soul like Mary Lao’s grandchild. The boy must be protected from the claws of deviant sexuality and other evils. Hallelujah!