Secured Heart

by Measha Stone

  He ignored the creaking of the wood and hoped it would hold out, as he didn’t have the physical capacity to withdraw from her.

  “Kendrick, please. I have to come. Please, may I come?” she begged loudly. There was no shame or embarrassment in her request, only eagerness to gain permission. Her utter obedience, even in such a state as their bodies were, drove him closer to his own end.

  He cupped her face with his hands, his elbows resting on the table. “Open your eyes. Look at me,” he ground out.

  Her lids flew open, and her deep green eyes settled on his immediately.

  “Don’t close your eyes. I want to watch them as you come. Come for me. Now.”

  Her forehead crinkled slightly; she licked her lips and bucked up at him. With another plunge from him, she cried out her release. Her eyes never strayed from his. Her lips twisted as she moaned through her orgasm, not caring about her volume. Watching her, mixed with the pulses of her cunt as she came, brought on his own release.

  Once the waves had subsided and his vision unclouded, he looked down at her. She was smiling up at him, looking every bit the satisfied woman.

  “If only you drove your car that way.” She teased him.

  He gave a grunt and kissed her soundly on the lips, crushing her to the table and not caring one bit. She was his. The thought resounded deeply in his mind.

  She belonged to him. He belonged to her. He could easily spend the rest of his life with her wrapped in his arms.

  That thought didn’t startle him; it calmed him. Filled him with hope and warmth he’d not experienced before. He loved her completely. Impulsiveness and all. Now that he had her, had the love he never thought he’d find, he would never let her go.

  CHAPTER twenty-seven

  Stubbornness Usually Wins Over Logic

  “I think I have to break up with Kendrick,” Kelly announced over Sunday brunch with Jessica and Erin.

  Both women paused in their sipping of their homemade mimosas to stare back at her with wide eyes and gaped mouths.

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Erin demanded nearly slamming her drink down on the pressed linen cloth of her breakfast table. “He’s the first decent guy you’ve met. He seems really into you, and not like a high school crush into you, like he’s in this for the long haul.” Erin prided herself on being able to read a man’s intentions, rarely was she incorrect.

  “It’s not that he’s not into me. I know he is.” Kelly pushed her plate of spinach feta quiche away from her and grasped her coffee cup with both hands. She had spent the better part of several days thinking about her relationship with Kendrick. Everything was going so well, so perfectly. He was attentive, romantic, sexy and every bit the dominant male she wanted. Obviously, it was wrong.

  She couldn’t get the idea of giving up on a family that didn’t even exist yet out of her head. For as long as she could remember, she wanted to have a house full of kids and have large family dinners and warm inviting holiday parties. As much as she loved her relationship with Kendrick, she wasn’t sure it would be enough to fill the void of the family she wouldn’t have.

  “Kelly, what is it?” Jessica’s soft spoken question was full of concern. “Did he hurt you?”

  Kelly shook her head vehemently. “No, no. Nothing like that at all. It’s just…I’m not sure I see much of a future with him. I mean, marriage, kids. Probably not in the cards with him.” She tried to sound blasé, as though the idea of breaking up with him wasn’t tearing her heart into shreds. But it was.

  The last two nights she had gone home from his apartment and tried to find a way to make everything work—her dreams of family and her desires to belong to him—but the pieces didn’t fit. They were two different shapes from two different puzzles.

  “He doesn’t want a family?” Erin tried to clarify, even as Kelly shook her head.

  “He didn’t really say that.”

  “What did he say?” Jessica sat back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest.

  Kelly tried to shrug in response, but Jessica had known her for far too long to let that go.

  “You didn’t ask him. Did you even bring up marriage, kids, that sort of stuff?”

  “Well, not really. I mean we really haven’t been—”

  “So, you don’t know, and you’re deciding for him what he wants and doesn’t want.” Jessica’s accusatory tone caught Kelly off guard. She had been looking for support from her friends, not an interrogation.

  “No. I’m not deciding for him.” Kelly shot a defensive glare at Jessica. “It’s just that I know it won’t work. A family in the sort of relationship we have wouldn’t work.”

  “That’s stupid,” Jessica scoffed.

  “What sort of relationship?” Erin interjected, looking confused.

  “It’s not stupid.” Kelly ignored Erin’s question. “It’s logical. Think about it, how the hell would kids fit in?”

  “The same way they fit into any marriage,” Jessica spat out.

  “Why wouldn’t kids be okay? I don’t understand what the hell is going on!” Erin slammed her hand down on the table, making the silverware and glassware shake in response.

  Kelly and Jessica turned to look at her. Erin, the most reasonable of the three, looked ready to spit at each of them.

  “Fill me in. Now.” She kept her elbows on the table and her steady stare on both of them.

  “It’s nothing.” Kelly sighed. She wasn’t ready to have that conversation with Erin, feminist of the year. She’d never understand or worse she’d think Kelly was sick in the head. And maybe she was.

  “You need to talk to him.” Jessica’s tone softened, and she placed a hand over Kelly’s on the table. “Don’t be stupid, Kelly. He’s the guy. He’s the one.”

  “Says the woman who doesn’t believe in that crap,” Kelly muttered.

  “I didn’t. Then I met Royce.”

  “Kel, I don’t understand half of what’s going on here, but I do know what I saw last week at dinner. That man thinks you are his world. I have never seen you so at ease with someone before. It was like the two of you have been together for decades instead of weeks.” Erin gave a half smile. “Whatever your worries are, you need to talk to him, bring them to him. I don’t think you have the answer for this one on your own. You can’t guess at his wants and needs. As far as family goes, unless it’s an abusive relationship, I can’t think of any loving relationship a family wouldn’t be right for.”

  Kelly wanted to believe them, wanted to see it their way. But all she could do was remember the night before.

  She was laying on the couch with her head on his lap, while the news was on. He had casually pulled his cock out of his jeans, and she had hungrily taken it into her mouth.

  When he had finished, he had kissed her head and told her what a good girl she was. Her insides tingled at the compliment; her cunt yearned for his touch.

  He hadn’t made her wait. He had laid her on her back on the couch, nude, as was becoming his favorite way to watch television with her. He had gone down on her, giving her every bit of erotic pleasure she craved. It had been wonderful…until she let herself think too much about the situation.

  It wasn’t just about the kids—every married couple eventually had to curb their sexual exploits to the bedroom when the offspring slept.

  It was the rituals she had come to enjoy. Watching TV nude. Sitting at his feet when he requested it. The activities she felt closest to him while doing would be things that couldn’t be done in a normal family environment. It just wasn’t going to work.

  “Okay. Okay.” She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “I won’t do anything until I talk to him. Now…back to our regularly scheduled programming.” She turned her full stare on Erin. “When are you going to set a damn date for your wedding?”

  Kendrick opened the door to his apartment and found Kelly standing in the hallway, her sweater wrapped tightly around her and her hair bundled up in a massive bun on top of her head.
She looked as though she’d been crying. Her eyes weren’t red, but her lids were puffy.

  “Kelly. Come in.” He pulled her into his apartment and took her in his arms. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong?” He could feel a shiver shoot through her, and he held her tighter.

  She shook her head, her hair tickling his chin. “I need to talk to you.” She pulled away from him and looked into his eyes.

  A tight ball formed in his chest at her expression. He’d seen that look plenty of times before to know what was coming. But damn if he was going to let it happen.

  “Fine. Let’s go in the living room.” He reached for her elbow, but she pulled away.

  “No, here’s okay.”

  He paused, talking himself out of throwing her over his shoulder and running to the bedroom with her, and turned back to her. “Okay.” He nodded. “What’s wrong?” He tried to sound concerned, but he couldn’t help the hurt and anger he felt bubbling into his voice.

  “I-I don’t think we should be together anymore,” she whispered, not looking at him. “I mean, maybe we should take a break.”

  “A break?” He shoved his hands into his pockets to keep from touching her. He wanted to hold her. Comfort the worry out of her, save himself from the hurt that was taking place. “Why?”

  “It’s just…well…” Her voice trailed off; her eyes still hadn’t met his.

  “If you want a break, I want a reason.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Take your time.”

  “Kendrick, it’s just not working. Okay? I mean, this is fun, but it’s not working long term, you know.” She did look at him then, and he could see the torment in her gaze.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His voice lowered at the tears he saw starting to form in her eyes. “Kelly, whatever it is, we can’t work on it if you don’t share it with me.”

  “It can’t be worked on. I thought this was for me, that it was what I wanted.” She straightened her back and reached into her pocket. The emerald silver bracelet was in her grasp when she reached out to him. “This isn’t what I want.” She dropped the bracelet into his hand, he didn’t even realize he had put it out for her. “Goodbye.”

  “Kelly! Dammit!” He tried to grab her, but she had flung the door open and ran out before he could. He didn’t chase her down the hall; there would have been no point.

  She didn’t want this? Him? His lifestyle?

  His mind swirled, trying to figure out what she meant. She hadn’t shown any doubt at any time they played or spent together. Each encounter had brought him closer to her. Never did she remark on being unhappy or confused. She filled her submissive role with a pride he’d envied. It wasn’t just a thing she played at; it was who she was.

  Why would she deny herself something she’d craved and sought after for so long? Why throw away something she’d literally put her life in jeopardy to find?

  Confusion quickly morphed into a sharp agony that struck him blind and unable to think.

  She was gone. He had lost her. He’d missed a signal, a warning. Something. He had done something.

  As though a switch had been flipped to put him on autopilot, he bolted the front door and headed to the living room, where he found the jewelry catalogue he’d been flipping through before she’d rung his bell.

  The diamond ring he’d been eyeing, knowing it would look so natural on her hand, had been circled. He held the magazine in his left hand and looked at the bracelet that laid crumbled in his right and took a long steadying breath.

  Dropping them both on the coffee table, he went in search of a drink.

  CHAPTER twenty-eight

  No Such Thing as Happily Ever After

  “You’re an idiot.” Alex glared across the café table at Kelly. They’d met for a cup of coffee after work on Wednesday evening.

  “Yes, I’m aware.” She nodded and sipped her latte.

  “Why would you do something so stupid?” he demanded in a firm tone that was unlike him.

  Kelly recognized the underlying authoritative strength and internally winced at the reminder of what she’d given up. Thrown away.

  “We’ve already established I’m an idiot.” She grinned at him.

  “And now you’ve pulled me into this harebrained idea.” He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

  “You can say no.” She reminded him, taking a look at her phone for the time. No messages.

  Kendrick hadn’t tried to call or text her since they had last seen each other. Three days ago. Proof that she had made the right call.

  “Of course, I can’t,” he all but yelled. A few heads in the coffee house peered in their direction, and he lowered his voice. “If I turn away now, and you get hurt, I’ll never be forgiven.”

  “Oh, Jessica really needs to lighten the hell up. And you need to get over your impossible crush on her.”

  “I do not have a crush on Jessica.” He defended, but they both knew he was lying.

  “I won’t get hurt.” She turned back to the original topic, looking toward the door. “Officer Peltner assures me I’ll be fine. I just wanted someone outside of the force to know what was going on. Just in case.”

  “In case what? You’ve already said you’ll be fine.” Alex drummed his fingers on the table, studying her. “What about Kendrick? What does he say about all of this?”

  The dull ache in her chest that had been shadowing her every moment of every day sharpened at the mention of Kendrick. “Nothing,” she answered honestly. She hadn’t told anyone about the break up yet; the last thing she needed was judgmental eyes on her or worse, pity arms hugging her.

  “You haven’t told him,” Alex accused, leaning across the table.

  “No, why would I?” Kelly looked at the dark expression staring at her and let out a long breath. “We broke up,” she answered simply and put a hand in the air between them when his jaw dropped.

  “No, I don’t want to talk about. I just want to move on.”

  “And you think going after Ted is the way to move on?” Alex scoffed. “You are an idiot,” he repeated himself. “But you’re our idiot.” He sighed heavily. “What time are you and this officer idiot meeting up at the bar?” He shook his head again, and Kelly gave him a smile.

  “Thank you! You don’t have to be there.”

  “Like hell I’m not going to be there!” His eyes narrowed, and his lips pinched together in a straight line.

  “Okay, okay.” She conceded. “I think the plan is to meet at Krush around eight, before he gets there. I think they said he usually prowls there around nine.”

  “This doesn’t make much sense to me. Won’t he think something’s up? I mean he already tried to get you—”

  “Yeah, but Kendrick stopped him. That won’t happen this time, and he’ll know I’m not with Kendrick anymore. So he’ll think he has an easier shot at it.” Kelly looked at her phone again. “I’m supposed to meet with the detective tonight. I have to head over to the precinct.”

  “Kendrick would tan your ass good if he knew this was going on. Together or not, that man loves you.” Alex stood from the table and buttoned his jacket.

  “Alex!”

  “I’m serious, Kel. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you, but he doesn’t give up on things he wants, and he wants you.”

  “Well, he has a weird way of showing it.”

  “He may be giving you space, but I promise you he’s not going to let you go. He’s not an idiot, and he knows a good thing when he sees it.”

  “You’ve met him all of maybe twice. Don’t worry about him or me.” Kelly stood from the table. “I need another coffee. I’ll call you tomorrow, once I have all the firm details.” She placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and headed to the cashier to get another latte.

  She waved at Alex through the glass as he walked down the street, bumping into someone in line. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

  The shorter woman turned around and smiled. “It�
��s okay. No harm.” She picked up the baby toy she’d dropped when Kelly bumped her.

  She looked familiar. It took Kelly a moment, but she knew exactly where she had seen her.

  “Teri?” Kelly whispered, and the blonde looked confused at the recognition.

  “I’m sorry, do I know you?” she asked, handing the toy to the toddler in the stroller she was pushing.

  Kelly looked down at the curly blond-haired little boy sitting in the stroller, gnawing a cracker with one hand and shaking the rattling toy with the other. Drool covered his face. When he noticed her looking at him, he let out a garbled laugh and tried to give her the toy.

  “No, no, you don’t. I’ve seen you before, but we didn’t meet.” Kelly smiled down at the little boy and shook the toy before handing it back to him. “Your son?” She motioned to the little boy.

  “Yes. I think you look familiar. Kendrick!” She snapped her fingers. “I did see you a few weeks ago with Kendrick, right?”

  “Yeah, that was me. My name’s Kelly.” She could hear her voice drop and tried to change the subject. “You were with a man, your husband?”

  “Dominic, yep. The only date nights we get these days are trips to the club. A release for both of us.” Teri gave a shimmering smile. She looked tired, as most mothers of young children do, but with a satisfied happy glow. “I’m sorry we didn’t meet then. Kendrick is a good friend, but we haven’t been able to meet up with him lately. Between the baby and work, his work, and everything. We should get together. Dinner maybe at our house?” The line shifted, and they both scooted up.

  “Oh. Um. Kendrick and I aren’t together anymore.” Kelly felt the heat cross her cheeks. She was suddenly embarrassed. Not because of the breakup, but because the thing that made her scared, made her run, the impossibility she’d seen was standing right in front of her.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry!” Teri’s face flushed, and she gave Kelly a pitying smile. “I thought…I remember the bracelet you were wearing. I mean, Kendrick doesn’t usually mark his girl, unless it’s serious. In the ten years I’ve known him, he’s only given one other girl a symbol of his ownership.” Her voice was low to keep the other customers from overhearing, but to Kelly, the words were amplified.