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by Lynn Rider

  “I’m in Seattle.”

  “Seattle? With Mom?” he asks anxiously.

  “Yes, in Seattle, but no, not with Mom.” I hear his heavy sigh, pausing my words. “When I brought Mom here I ran into Amber.”

  “Fuuuck! Have you been using?”

  His question instantly pisses me off. “No, Ashton, not using. I promised you—”

  “You also promised you would stay away from her.”

  “Ashton, do you want to hear what I have to say or not?” My words carry only a fraction of the bite I intend. His resistance to Amber immediately puts me on edge.

  Another heavy sigh fills the line. “Yeah, Austin, I do.”

  I fill him in on the entire story, starting with when I first ran into her here and the purpose of my trip, then onto my most recent days spent with Sophia.

  “Shit…” He drawls out the word with defeat in his voice when I fall silent after my story.

  “She’s fucking amazing, Ashton. She’s got a little blonde fuzz for hair but looks just like me. I’ll send you a picture when we hang up. She smiles all the time and her giggle is the best sound ever. She’s a princess and I’m going to spend the rest of my life treating her like one.”

  I hear his subtle laugh through the phone. “What are you laughing at?”

  “You. I haven’t heard you this animated about anything since we were kids.” He laughs again.

  “Yeah, well she makes me feel like a kid. I’ve spent the last two days with her. No matter how big we think we get in life or how hard the struggle is, it’s all forgotten when you cuddle with her. She grounds me. She fell asleep on my chest today when we were lying on the couch together. I can’t wait for you to meet her.”

  “Me either. What about Amber?” he asks, sounding serious.

  “She’s good. She actually stood up to me and pretty much told me she’d leave me in the dust if I fucked up again. She’s a great mother. I’m not thrilled with the little shit hole apartment she’s living in, so I’ll fix that, but she’s done well for herself.”

  “Let me clarify my question. What about you and Amber?”

  I sigh, bracing for his reaction before the words are even out of my mouth. “I love her and always will. She’s changed though. She’s stronger, harder. I hate to admit, but I think all my fuck ups have done that to her. I think she still loves me too, but she’s afraid I’m going to take another tailspin out of control. I’m trying to prove to her I’ve changed, but I’m running out of time.”

  “I don’t say this as much as I should, but I want you to know I’m proud of the man you’ve become. You amaze me every day with your strength and determination to succeed and help others to do the same. I just want you to be careful.”

  “Thanks, man. I’m sorry I’ve messed up so many times, but I’m more determined than ever to bring my family home with me.”

  “Then do it,” he demands confidently.

  “I’m working on it. I should be home in a couple days. Amber has to work tomorrow, but then she’s off for five. I’m hoping she’ll come with me. Please be easy on her. She’s scared shitless of you.”

  “Me?” he asks, sounding surprised.

  “Yeah, she knows you don’t like her.”

  “I like Amber just fine. I dislike the stupid decisions you make when she makes the right ones.”

  “The right ones?” I ask incredulously.

  “Yeah, she’s too fucking smart for you, man. She does the right thing by running from your dumb ass. I’d run too if I were her.” I hear the smile in his words and know that we’re going to be okay.

  “All right, Uncle Ashton. I need to get some sleep. I’m gonna need Meagan’s help with getting shit set up. Will you ask her to call me in the morning?”

  “I don’t think I could stop her from calling once I tell her.” He laughs softly. “Austin, have you thought about the media? You need to be careful, especially for Amber and Sophia’s sake. Once the news outlets get a hold of this, they’ll be no letting go until there’s damage. Have you talked to Amber about this?”

  “Not really.”

  “You need to. Take it from me and my experience, shit can get ugly real quick. You accepted that when you entered the business, but she didn’t. She’s run before because she couldn’t take some local groupies, but this will be national man. Prepare her.”

  “Thanks, Ashton.”

  “Hey!” He catches me before I disconnect.

  “Yeah?”

  “Congratulations, Dad.”

  My eyes scan the apartment complex as I park the rented Escalade. Ashton’s warning comes to mind as I look at the lack of security. “I need to get her out of this place,” I mumble as I grab our coffee and head upstairs.

  When she pulls the door open, the air sucks from my lungs with it. I wanted to use one of the useless pick-up lines that occupy space in my head, but I can’t think of anything other than pushing her against a wall and pressing myself into her tight, little body. She wears those damn fitted suits that accent her curves and outlines her ass. Oh my god, her ass. I open my mouth to say something, but close it, coming up empty for the first time in my life.

  Fuck, I love this woman.

  “What’s up? Cat got your tongue?” she says, throwing my words back at me with a playful grin.

  I shake my head, snapping from my stupor. “You’re so beautiful you made me forget my pick-up line,” I respond honestly.

  “Wow, is that the best you can think of?” she says with a raise of her perfectly shaped brows.

  “You really don’t want to know what I was thinking.” I step into her personal space. She’s standing tall, not backing away at my nearness, but as she meets my gaze, I see a shadow of nervousness in her eyes, feeling her heavy breaths against my skin with each fall of her chest. After several long seconds, she steps back and I see her struggle to regain her composure.

  “Sophia is still sleeping. She didn’t get up last night, so she shouldn’t sleep for much longer,” she says, busying herself with her coat. I hand her coffee to her, hoping to get the same show from yesterday, but she only smiles softly after taking a sip.

  “What? No show this morning?” I ask, stepping closer again.

  “You told me to never do that in public.”

  “No, I told you to never do that in front of anyone other than me—especially in public.” I glance over each of my shoulders for added effect as I step closer. “I don’t see anyone here. We’re not in public, so feel free to enjoy your coffee.” I grin.

  She flashes me a sweet smile before lifting the paper cup to her lips, closing her eyes and moaning in appreciation. My dick hardens instantly at the deep vibrating sound emanating from her throat. Her eyes open and her sweet smile returns before her gaze drops, looking for my reaction.

  “You’re a tease.”

  “You were begging for it.” She winks.

  She attempts to turn, but I reach out, grabbing and taking her by surprise. When I pull our bodies closer, I see she’s lost her confidence and the vulnerability shines through. I lift my hand gently, pulling a few loose strands that have stuck to the lipstick that colors her plump lips. I feel the fan of her warm heavy breath against my skin and know she’s excited.

  “You’re beautiful,” I whisper as I lower my head, teasing her. I watch the subtle slide of her tongue along her bottom lip with intrigue. “Is that an invite, Amber?” I whisper.

  “You’ve never needed one before.” Her face lifts and her mouth stays slightly open.

  That’s definitely a fucking invite.

  I pull her closer, pressing my mouth to hers. Her tongue meets mine with the same need and her free hand slides around my neck, fusing our bodies as one.

  Amber…

  “Well, hello, stranger!” Emma calls out as I cross the hospital cafeteria.

  My smile widens with her easy smile. “Hello to you too.”

  “I’ve missed you. You’ve been holed up in your love nest across the hall with all t
hat hotness.”

  I give her a wry look. “Actually, I’ve been at work every day. He’s been doing daddy duty.” I smile thoughtfully at how attentive Austin has been. “I’m starving,” I say, clearing the idiotic grin from my face and choosing my food from the food line.

  “You got it bad,” she says knowingly.

  “I know, Em, but I’m trying to keep it in perspective.”

  “So are you two together again?”

  I shake my head sadly. “Sometimes it’s as if we are. Like this morning, things got a little heated before we both pulled away from one another and I left for work. But when I asked last night what we were doing, he said we’re enjoying each other.” I turn and walk to the table, trying to hide my disappointment.

  “Is that what you want?” she asks as we slide into our seats.

  “I don’t know.” I sigh. “I need to stay focused on protecting Sophia.”

  The short, sarcastic snort and cynical look tells me she doesn’t believe me. “Do you really believe that’s who you’re protecting?” she asks incredulously.

  “No,” I answer, disappointed she can see through me so easily.

  “Am, you need to decide if you’re in or out. As my dad used to say, shit or get off the pot.”

  “Wow, such wisdom.”

  “My point is you need to figure it out and move on with it. If you want him, tell him.”

  We study one another’s eyes silently for a minute before her smile breaks through. “So why’d Hotness leave so early last night?” she asks.

  I shrug, thinking back to Austin’s excuse last night when he left. “He said he was tired.” I shrug again, trying to appear indifferent.

  “He was at Oblivion last night watching Reeder’s band.”

  “What?”

  Her smile lights up, causing a shimmer in her eyes. “He watched for a while and then he joined in.”

  “What?” I match her excitement as my mind swarms with images of Austin and Reeder playing together.

  “You have to let Reeder tell you about it. He was so high from the experience when he got home that he couldn’t sleep.” She laughs.

  “Austin didn’t say a word this morning when he got to the apartment.” I wonder what this could mean for Reeder and the band.

  “Drew was there.” Her tone turns more serious. My eyes meet hers once again. She nods. “I was worried when I found out, but Reeder said he kept his shit together.”

  “Did they meet?” I ask nervously. This isn’t something Austin and I have talked about yet. I’d like to be the one to tell him, but our relationship is teetering delicately and although he’s handled himself well so far, I can’t risk it yet.

  “Yeah, but I’m sure it didn’t come up. Reeder would have mentioned it and he came home on cloud nine while Drew went right to bed.”

  “I need to tell Austin,” I say quietly.

  “No, you don’t. Do you want to know all the girls he’s banged while you were apart?”

  I wince at the thought. “No.”

  “Then keep your mouth shut. Drew is not going to do anything to hurt you or Sophia. If you want to be with Austin, Drew may not like it, but he’ll accept it,” she says confidently.

  “It was never my intention to hurt him.”

  “He knows that, Am. He’s a big boy. He fully understood what he was getting into. He gambled and he may have lost.”

  “So what did Austin tell Reeder?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Nothing. Reeder said he noticed this big guy in the audience when their set was almost over. He first thought he was a Seahawks player. Then he noticed Austin shrunk down in his chair with a hat pulled low. Reeder motioned the guys to keep playing and Austin approached him after a few more songs. That’s about all I know. Reeder got giddy and started talking a hundred miles an hour.” She laughs with a proud smile.

  I watch as Emma digs in her salad, a goofy smile plastered on her face, and I wonder if she’s strong enough to endure the life-changing event that will undoubtedly take place if Reeder makes it.

  “When are you going to come see Sophia? Have you been purposely staying away?” I ask, changing the subject.

  “Yeah, I wanted you to have the time alone to sort things out. You don’t need your friends hanging out. I told Reeder to stay away too. He’s pretty pissed he hasn’t seen Sophia in days.”

  “Then come over tonight. What if we order pizza? You get off at three, right?”

  “That was fun. Our first couples dinner,” Austin says playfully when he closes the door after Reeder and Emma leave.

  I sit on the couch exhausted. Sophia’s long past her bedtime and bouncing wildly up and down on my lap.

  “Cat got your tongue?”

  “Just tired,” I say, trying to get Sophia to sit and cuddle so that she’ll start calming down.

  “Why don’t you go to bed? I’ll stay until she goes to bed and lock the bottom lock on my way out,” he offers as he makes his way in the room with a bottle.

  This is a test of my psyche and heart. Do I rely on him when I’m right here and can get her to bed? Each day he’s entangled himself tighter in our lives and around my heart. He’s shown he can step up and do what’s right with both his addiction and especially with Sophia. I want him to stay the night.

  I want him to stay forever.

  “Hey, you’re tired. Go to bed.” He looks at me expectantly and I realize I never answered his question.

  “I’ve got this, Austin. Why don’t you go? You have a flight to catch tomorrow,” I point out, bringing up a sensitive subject. I see his shoulders slouch as his body lowers in the chair opposite me.

  “There’s no changing your mind is there?” he asks, holding my eyes.

  “No, but I’ll make a trip soon. I’ll come see everyone. I just need a little more time.”

  “I’ve only told Ashton and Meagan, Amber. I haven’t even told Kyle. Please reconsider.” He says as he stands and walks out. I know by his departure he’s hurt, but I can’t do it.

  Not yet.

  My cell phone rings at the same time there’s a knock on the door. I make my way to the door, ignoring the call. I look through the peephole and see Reeder. His wide grin is contagious and I’m already smiling as I open the door.

  “You know already, don’t you?”

  “Know what?” I ask dumbly.

  “Why are you grinning, Amber? You did this. You made this happen, didn’t you?”

  “What are you talking about, Reeder?”

  “Flying to New York?”

  I step into my apartment, silently inviting him in as my mind thinks through what he’s said. Austin’s been gone for two days and he’s the only one I know whose flown to New York lately. “I really don’t know what you think I did, Reeder.” I perch on the arm of the couch and look back to see the excitement in his face.

  “I just got a call. There’s a private plane coming to take me and the guys to New York,” he says enthusiastically.

  “For what?”

  “You really don’t know?” His smile fades slightly when I shake my head. “We’re going to talk to James David. Do you know who he is?” His excitement rises with the last.

  “Yes, I do! How?” I ask, sharing in his joy. James David owns the largest record production company in the country. He has several labels that work under his corporation to fit the varying artist genre and popularity to the right label.

  “You, Austin—I don’t know. Austin came to see me last weekend. I thought you sent him.”

  “I did, but not that night. I’d asked him to go see you weeks ago.”

  He leaps toward me and lifts me in his arms, spinning me. “Thank you, Amber. You don’t know what this means to me. What this will do for me and Emma—for the guys.”

  “Reeder, you have an incredible talent. I didn’t do anything. You probably should be thanking Austin. James is friends with his brother, Ashton. I’m sure Austin got this ball rolling, but it will be your talent that earns yo
ur spot.”

  “Thank you, Amber. Thank you.” He sits in the chair with his smile still plastered across his face.

  “I’m so happy for you, Reeder. Does Em know?”

  “She was the first call I made when I hung up with the woman at the label. She’s leaving work to come home. She’s going too.”

  “Reeder, I’m so happy for you,” I repeat, caught up in the excitement. I remember some of the earlier milestones with Silver Knight and know the hope and visions of a brighter future that come with them. “Has Emma told you what happened to Austin and me?”

  His smile fades and I know he knows. “I’m not a user, Amber. I would never do that,” he says seriously.

  I shake my head. “It’s not Austin’s using that I’m talking about. It’s the groupies, Reeder. I’m the one who broke us because rather than allowing him to bask in the newness and excitement of success, I let the groupies get to me. Austin focused so much on his music when they were first gaining popularity, I felt second-best and so I let the skanks sway my mind. I believed they were better than me and that somehow they could offer him more than I could.”

  “Em hasn’t told me that part, but Austin has. He told me the night he showed up at Oblivion. We sat in the back and had a drink.” My body tenses. “He drank water,” he says calmly. I nod, feeling stupid. “He knows he fucked up, and he’s told me in so many words that if he had a do-over, you would have been first every time.”

  I never knew he felt that way. I thought he was sorry for his addiction, not because of what had happened in our relationship.

  “That was hard as hell to tell you because my brother is still pretty hung up on you. I wanted that to work out, but I really feel like you and Austin have unfinished business. For Sophia’s sake, you owe it to one another to figure it out.”

  I smile softly at the firmness in his voice. This is a side of the flirty, playful Reeder I’ve never seen until now.

  “I don’t have an option now that he’s insinuated himself into our lives,” I say comically.

  Reeder casts a skeptical grin my way as he straightens, digging his vibrating phone from his pocket. “I need to take this. It’s Drew.” He stands and kisses me on the head on his way out.