Easy to Love You

by Megan Smith

  I stood up, dumped my plate in the trash and went back upstairs to our room. CC didn’t follow me but I knew she would when she was ready. Waiting for CC to join me, I packed up our bags getting everything ready in case she wanted to leave right away.

  A while later there was a tap at the door, Hailey peeked her head in. “Can I come in?”

  I nodded and resumed my position in the chair with my elbows on my knees.

  Hailey walked in and quietly shut the door, “You ok?”

  I shook my head. I was fucked up, and I was about to hurt the one person I’d never wanted to hurt.

  “I’m going to be honest with you. Kenz and I are a lot alike, you know this.” She took a deep breath. “If it was me, I’d run.” She sat on her knees in front of me. “I’d be running because I’m hurt and angry that you didn’t trust me enough with the truth.” She covered my hands with both of hers. “But…I’d come back. I don’t know how long I’d be gone, but I would be back.”

  I stared at her, gauging her, trying to figure out if there was any chance that she’d be lying to me. I didn’t see anything but understanding.

  “I know I break your balls all the time, Hunter, and I may be a pain in your ass, but I love you like I love the rest of them. I’m not going anywhere, and I’ll help you anyway I can.” She sat up on her knees, placed a kiss on my cheek and got up to leave the room.

  CC walked in behind her, head hung low. She sat on the bed and patted the spot next to her. I got up off the chair and sat beside her.

  “Look, I know whatever is going to be said isn’t good. I’m not sure I really care what it is.” She shook her head. “No, I do care. If it has to do with our family, the three of us, I want to know.”

  She’s feeling me out; damn, the ache in my chest was getting stronger and stronger. “It does.”

  She closed her eyes; shoulders slumped, “Okay. Just…whatever it is, know that I love you.”

  Damn, my eyes stung. “Okay, before I start I need you to promise me that you will listen to the whole story. Know that I did this for us, our family.”

  “Okay.” Her hands fisted in her lap, knuckles white. She’s preparing herself.

  “I love you.” I need to hear it from her.

  “I love you too,” she said, expressionless.

  “My dad, Jason, showed up out of the blue. We still aren’t sure why just yet.” I looked out the window in front of us, watching the wave’s crash. “I never told you about Jason because there wasn’t anything worth telling, until now. Jason robbed the South Berry Credit Union.” I glanced over at her, her eyes wide. “Mom was held at gun point while it happened. Jaylinn was only a baby at the time and they kept her in a separate room. When Jason came home that night and the captors let Mom go, Jaylinn was in her crib, naked, with a piece of tape over her mouth. I was with my grandparents when everything went down. Jason tried to tell Mom that it’d never happen again, that he’d gotten into some trouble and didn’t have a choice but to rob the bank or he’d have been killed.”

  I didn’t continue right away, this was painful for me. I never talked about this shit. CC got up off the bed and grabbed a bottle of water off the dresser. She took a drink and then offered it to me. I took it, drank a little, and then fastened the cap. CC disappeared into the bathroom and emerged with pain reliever. She offered me two but I didn’t take them. Shrugging her shoulders, she swallowed all four without water.

  Once she settled back on the bed next to me she reached for my hand.

  “I haven’t been completely honest with you either, Hunter.” That took me by surprise. “I know it was Brittany at the accident. After my car finally stopped flipping, I remember lying there. I couldn’t actually make her out but I knew it was her by her voice.” She squeezed my hand.

  “She talked to you?” I asked. This pissed me off even more, how could you do that and not help her to safety?

  She nodded, “Yeah she did. She said, ‘If I can’t have him neither can you’.”

  Shit, this was going to make telling her even worse. “I’m sorry you had to go through that baby.”

  She shrugged, “I don’t ever want to talk about it again though ok? I just want to move on from that day, she took enough of my time, I’m not giving her anymore.”

  “I understand.” I did, she was a disgrace to even be considered family.

  “Was there more that you needed to tell me?” She asked me with sad eyes.

  I nodded, “Mom never went to the police because she feared for our safety. Jason swore it would never happen again, but a few months later it did, and this time I was at home too. I hid in my bedroom closet until Mom came to get me. That night, she packed us up and we disappeared.”

  “We moved in with my grandparents in the Tennessee Valley Mountains. Remember that place I took you to over New Years?”

  She nodded her head, still no emotions showing from her.

  “That was their house; Mom didn’t have the heart to sell it. Plus it’s not like we needed the money since they set Jaylinn and I up with a trust fund, so she hired a realtor and rented it out.” I huffed, reminiscing about the fun times with Grandpa. “I looked up to my grandfather, learned a lot from him. He was a great man.” Damn, I missed him a lot; I could have used some of his advice lately. “He passed away from lung cancer the year that we moved to Jersey, and my grandmother passed within days of him. Mom said that she passed away of a broken heart, and the medical examiner listed her cause of death as natural causes. Mom never went back there. I on the other hand, would try to get up there whenever the house wasn’t being rented out. I made some of my greatest memories in that house.”

  I was back to gazing over the ocean, letting all the memories take hold of me for a little while. Really I was giving CC time to ask questions. I’m sure she had to have some.

  Sometime later, CC squeezed my hand. I guess she was ready for more.

  “Your dad has known about my whole situation since we moved to Jersey. Our moms got to drinking one night shortly after meeting and hit it off. The next morning Mom was worried that she’d told your mom too much and explained to us that we’d be moving again. She needed to keep us safe. Your mom sat mine down for coffee, and they talked for hours while Jaylinn and I were out playing with you and your brothers.”

  This was probably going to dig the stake in her heart a little deeper; I knew she was still pissed off about her dad lying to her about being an FBI Agent.

  “Your mom confessed that your dad was an FBI Agent and that she knew for a fact that he’d help keep us safe. Your dad tried to take my mom into headquarters but she refused to talk about it. He made a promise to my mom that as long as we lived near your family that he’d always look out for us and protect us. He said no family should ever have to go through something like that.”

  I looked over at her and noticed that she was now crying. Fuck! She’s ripping my heart out and I haven’t even gotten to the worst part yet. I ran my index finger over her right cheek, wiping away the tears.

  “I think that’s the reason…” I shook my head, “No, I know that’s the reason Mason, Cooper and Jackson didn’t want you and me together. They say it’s because of your dad but I don’t believe that.”

  My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I dug it out and saw Jaylinn’s name flash across the screen. Bad timing sis, I rejected the call and set the phone on the bed next to me. A second later it went off, Jaylinn again.

  I answered, “Jay, it’s not a good time. Can I call you back?”

  I glanced over at CC who was watching me, I heard a sniffle, “No, Hunter. I need you to come home.”

  Fear ripped through me, “What’s wrong?”

  “I’m fine, but please, just come home. There’s more to this clusterfuck that you need to know about.”

  I hung my head, dread taking over, “I’m on my way.”

  I stood up from the bed, reached for CC’s hand, but she didn’t take mine. She stood, picked up her bag and walked out of the
room. I grabbed mine, shut the light off and followed behind her. This was going to be the longest six hour drive of my life. What else can possibly happen? When was I going to finally get a break?

  I was in shock. I wasn’t really feeling anything.

  When Hunter and I emerged from upstairs, Mason and Hailey were sitting on the bottom of the steps. Hailey gave me a small smile. I frowned and it wiped the smile off her face. When I made it to the bottom step, they split apart and I walked right out to the car. I never said goodbye to Bentley, Zeke or Nikki. I knew it was wrong but I just couldn’t face anyone.

  Why hadn’t he told me? Did he not think I could handle it? Did it hurt him that much to speak of his past? I could’ve been there for him, damn it. I knew of Jason, but I’d never pressed for more information when it came to him. No one ever mentioned him and I just went along with it. Was I a bad person for not asking? And oh God, Jaylinn, she may not remember, but knowing that something like that had happened to her when she was so helpless must kill her every day.

  I got to the truck first and heard a click as the doors unlocked. Hunter must have hit the unlock button on the keypad. I climbed in and tossed my bag at my feet. I looked up but only saw Hunter walking down the driveway. He tossed his stuff in the bed of his truck then slipped into the driver’s seat. He didn’t start it right away.

  “There’s more to the story, CC. That’s just the first part.” Hunter said; his eyes were fixed, looking out the windshield.

  My head hit the back of the headrest waiting for the next blow. I was silently begging for Mason and Hailey to walk out to the truck so we could go home. I wanted my baby wrapped in my arms; I wanted to protect him from all the crazy fucked up shit this world had to offer.

  “The first time I saw my dad was at the hospital, the night I was taking Ryder home for the first time.” That felt like a sucker punch to the chest. “I’m not sure why he was there. We exchanged a few words,” Hunter huffed, “it wasn’t pretty. Mason and Hailey had walked up while the altercation was happening. Mason knew right away who Jason was; he’s the only person I ever really talked to about him.”

  At least he had Mason to talk to, that made me feel slightly better. But then something dawned on me.

  “You had Ryder?” It was the first thing I’d said since he started confessing everything.

  He looked over at me, shifting in his seat, “I did. He was tucked behind me with Mom until Mason walked right up and grabbed him. He and Hailey immediately took him outside. Jason asked if he was mine but I told him it was none of his business. I’m not really sure if he knows for sure or not.”

  Mason, my hero of a brother, saved the day again. How did I not see any of this?

  “After I walked away from Jason I knew I couldn’t leave you upstairs by yourself, but what was I supposed to do? I had Ryder and I had to make a choice.” He reached for my hand again. This time I let him hold it. “Mason saw the turmoil on my face and told me that since Hailey was already staying the night with you, he would too.”

  Well that explains why those two were acting miserable all night. I knew there had to be a reason, and that explains why Mason stayed even though it was clear Hailey hadn’t wanted him to.

  Hunter squeezed my hand lightly, pain flashing across his face, “Do you remember when we were checking out of the hospital and there was a guy talking to you?”

  I nodded.

  “That was Jason.”

  Then I remembered Hunter freaking out when he pulled the truck around. That slime ball was that close to me and my baby and I’d had no idea. I remember my instincts were to reach out for Hunter but I’d thought that was just me being paranoid of something happening to Ryder.

  A lone tear slipped from my eye, and I reached up to wipe it away. I was hurting because something could have happened and I’d have had no idea. “Why didn’t you just tell me?” I asked.

  He pressed the palms of his hands to his eyeballs, “Because I didn’t know what was going on. He just appeared out of nowhere and no one knew what he was up to.”

  “But you could’ve told me, Hunter.”

  He sighed, “I know, but I wanted to find out what was going on first. I didn’t want to concern you with something that you didn’t need to worry about.”

  I snapped my head over to look at him, was he being serious? “Concern me, Hunter? If it involves you or Ryder, hell any of our families, it concerns me.”

  He didn’t respond for a while. Eventually Mason and Hailey appeared in the doorway, making their way towards us.

  I knew none of this was easy for him but his lack of communication with me about this felt like betrayal. We fought for so long to be together but now it felt like it was still impossible and out of reach. How could you have a relationship with someone you really don’t know? How would I ever know if Hunter was keeping anything else from me? Could I trust him enough to always tell me everything?

  I followed CC’s eyes to see Mason and Hailey walking towards us. I still needed to tell her more but I didn’t want to do it in front of them, even though they knew what had happened.

  “What did Jaylinn want?” CC asked while staring at her hands in her lap.

  I took a deep breath, not sure how to tell her this without making it any worse than it already was. “There’s more that she found out.”

  She nodded once and then put her seatbelt on as Hailey and Mason climbed in the backseat. Hailey sat behind me and grabbed my shoulder letting me know that she was there for me. I glanced at Mason in the rearview mirror. He tipped his head in CC’s direction asking if she knew everything. I shook my head once then started the truck and pulled out of the driveway.

  The ride down here had been fun. The girls had turned the stereo up full blast and sang at the top of their lungs. We’d talked about the wedding, and Hailey convinced CC to take pole-dancing lessons as part of the bachelorette party. We discussed where we were going to go on our honeymoon. The past didn’t bother anyone. It was the way it should be. This ride back was painfully quiet. No one talked unless it was necessary.

  When we arrived home it was just after dinnertime and of course everyone was at the Cahill’s for Sunday dinner. Our parents were sitting at the kitchen table, sipping their coffee, and they all turned, a little surprised to see us walk in.

  “Hey baby girl, I wasn’t expecting you ‘til later.” Andrew said.

  “Where’s Ryder?” CC asked, not offering an explanation.

  Mom and Elle looked up at me, waiting for me to explain CC’s mood. I shoved my hands in my front pockets and glanced down.

  Jaylinn’s changing him in your old room, sweetie.” Elle replied.

  CC took off for the stairs and my shoulders slumped. Andrew walked over and patted my back, “She’ll get through it. Hang in there.” Then he excused himself.

  Mom got up and grabbed me a bottle of water. “Would you like to me talk to her?” Elle offered.

  “No, she needs to hear it from me. I haven’t even told her about Brittany.” I grabbed the bottle of water from my mom and took a sip.

  “You didn’t know he had a daughter, Mom?” This was the first time I’d asked my mom about Brittany since I’d found out. I never had the chance with CC always being around.

  She exhaled, “I knew of his daughter but that was it. I found out that night when I took you kids and ran. That’s all I knew and that’s all I cared to know about. I’m sorry I never mentioned it but I never thought I would have needed to.”

  “Is that all? Is there anything that could come out that I don’t know about? Jay said she found something else out.” I asked, looking back and forth between both Mom and Elle.

  Jaylinn walked in, and I was surprised to see Cooper wasn’t behind her. “They don’t know. I thought I should wait and tell everyone together.”

  I was mentally preparing myself for whatever shitty situation I was about to be dealt. “Coop and I were at dinner at last night, we were seated out on the patio. After our dinner was
served I caught sight of Brittany out of the corner of my eye. She wasn’t alone though, she was there with Jason and that nurse from the hospital.”

  I heard the swooshing in my ears; surely I hadn’t heard her right. “Lynn?”

  She bobbed her head.

  I was going to be sick; I quickly pushed away from the table and ran for the bathroom. I sat on the floor with my hands resting on my knees, head tilted back on the tub, and sweat pouring down my face. Lynn had taken care of the two people I would give my life for. She’d held my son, she’d taken care of CC, and she’d consoled me when I thought I was losing the love of my life. How could a woman like that be with a man like my father? She came on to me. I heaved again; losing whatever was left in my stomach.

  I got up off my knees, washed my face and sat back down on the edge of the tub, not ready to face anyone. Lynn had never made a move to touch me or harm my family, but she’d controlled CC’s medicine. At any time she could’ve slipped her a higher dosage than she needed. I shook my head. I couldn’t let myself think like that.

  There was tap at the door as CC walked in with Ryder. I grabbed the little man from her and hugged him close. Damn it felt good having him in my arms. I sat there rocking him for a few minutes before CC was asking for him back.

  I kissed his cheek and handed him over, “You’re coming back in here right?”

  “Yeah.”

  Minutes later she was back and kneeling between my legs.

  “I’m sorry you had such a shitty father. I’m pissed off and hurt that you felt like you couldn’t tell me though, Hunter.” She confessed.

  She was about to get a lot more pissed off, “I need to finish telling you the rest.”

  “Okay.” She sat back on her legs, waiting for me to finish.

  “So after that day at the hospital I hadn’t heard from or seen Jason for a while, I thought he was gone again. I was wrong. You know the day you girls were at the mall and I showed up?”