More of You: A Confessions of the Heart Stand-Alone Novel

by Jackson, A. L.

“I’m coming with you.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not necessary.”

  I erased the space between us, murmuring at her ear. “Yes, Faith, it is.”

  I followed her to the restroom door, and I hesitated. She looked back at me, something close to a smile on her face. “I’m fine. I’ll be right inside.”

  Unease rustled through my senses. “Scream if you need me.”

  Soft laughter filtered from between her lips, but her eyes . . . they were serious. So soft. Her voice softer. “Beast.”

  Everything clutched as I watched her push the door the rest of the way open and walk inside, giving me a full view of the back of her dress, those heels driving me right out of my mind.

  I stood at the door, my chest heaving, ragged pants leaving my lungs as I contemplated barging in there anyway.

  Drag her out. Pull her into one of those dark alcoves. Kiss her senseless.

  Senseless.

  Just like she was making me.

  I stumbled back when the door flew open.

  Courtney was there, smirking up at me. “Jace Jacobs. Dance with me.”

  The vicious look on her face had my dick shriveling up.

  Still, I quirked a brow, kept my tone as light as possible. “Right here?”

  “Right here.”

  “You want to dance with me that bad?” It was a rigid tease.

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, give it up, playboy. You’re hardly my type.”

  “Is that so?” I stepped forward, my hold light when I wrapped an arm around her waist.

  “Um . . . yeah, so very so.”

  She barely rested her hands on my upper forearms as I pulled her two steps from the door and into the very back of the hall.

  “You’re really breaking me up here. Way to ruin a guy’s ego.”

  “Oh, I’m sure you have plenty of that to last.”

  “Wow, you really are my biggest fan, aren’t you?”

  She eyed me, the playfulness diminishing, a flare of protectiveness coloring her expression. “You do realize that, if you hurt her, I will kill you.”

  I laughed.

  I’d always liked this girl.

  “I don’t doubt that for a second.”

  “Good . . . because I’m not joking. Faith’s been through enough.”

  My voice softened. “You think I don’t know that?”

  “Do you?” It was both a challenge and true question. Like she was standing there, wondering if I actually got it.

  “I do.”

  The problem was, I was going to hurt Faith. In the end, I was going to hurt her all over again.

  Not because I wanted to.

  But because what was done was done, and I couldn’t take it back, no matter how much I wished I could.

  A puff of relief left her, like she’d heard my sincerity. “Good. It’d be a shame to have to maim you. You’re way too pretty for that.”

  She wouldn’t have to worry about that. I’d be destroyed at the end of this, anyway.

  My voice turned serious. “I’m here to help her. Protect her. That’s it.”

  Disbelief had her eyebrows rising to her hairline. “That’s it? Because that sure isn’t how you’ve been looking at her.”

  “And how have I been looking at her?”

  A huff of sarcasm left her tongue. “Oh, come on, Jace. You think I didn’t witness that pissin’ contest out on the dance floor? Throwing a punch over someone just lookin’ at her? You might as well have whipped it out and taken her right there on the floor. Or maybe the bar would have done just fine for what you had in mind.”

  Lust curled, and my teeth clenched. Didn’t she get I was trying to keep control and losing it? I sure didn’t need those kinds of visions planted in my mind.

  She grinned and then patted my chest. “Mm-hmm . . . that, right there? That’s exactly how you’ve been looking at her. You act on it? Then you’d better plan to stay. Because Faith is the exact same girl you left that day. Kind and pure and gentle, and she doesn’t need any of your games. You say you’re here to protect her? Then protect her heart, Jace, because that’s what is really at risk.”

  I flinched. That’s where she had it all wrong. “The threat is serious.”

  Her brow pinched. “You think I don’t know that? But at the end of the day, Faith’s heart is what’s on the line. What’s always been. Neither you nor Joseph fully appreciated that.”

  “I never wanted to hurt her.”

  Courtney stepped back, expression knowing. “Then prove it.”

  She turned around like she hadn’t said anything, leaving me there staring at her as she melted back into the crowd.

  Heat raced my arm when a hand squeezed my forearm. I whipped my attention that way. “Faith.”

  “Tell me she wasn’t botherin’ you. I swear . . . she puts her nose in all the places it doesn’t belong.”

  I grinned at her, shaking off the unease. “I think I can handle it.”

  “Well, I’m glad you can, because I sure can’t.” She was grinning, too.

  “She is your best friend.”

  A giggle slipped from her mouth. Fuck. I loved the sound of that. It seemed impossible that she could, that there would be any joy left. It only proved the type of person Faith really was.

  “She’s a handful. But she’d do anything for me.”

  “I’m glad you have her.”

  “So am I. Not sure I would have made it without her.”

  My voice softened. “Faith—”

  She held up her hand, stepped closer, hitched my goddamned breath when she slid her hand up my chest and set it over the thunder of my heart.

  “Shh . . . tonight’s the best night I’ve had in as long as I remember. Let’s not ruin it.”

  Like a fool, I took a step toward her, nearly erasing all the space between us.

  I dipped down, whispering at the shell of her ear, “Told you that you were going to have all kinds of fun.”

  Fun, she mouthed back with a subtle swish of her hips.

  Good God.

  Ruined.

  Completely ruined.

  Blood pumping hard, rushing straight to my dick. Straining and begging.

  My hand moved to her hip, the other moving high up on her slender waist.

  It was instant.

  The way tension climbed to the air.

  “Jace,” she whispered, staring up at me in that way I recognized from so long ago. In the way that’d made me feel as if I were different.

  Better.

  A believer, just like Ian had said.

  “Faith,” I murmured back, unable to stop myself from pulling her closer.

  Which was so goddamned reckless.

  She’d had more than a few drinks.

  Clearly, her inhibitions were down, the armor she wore loosed, her body lax.

  I should get her home, tuck her in bed, leave her there to sleep it off.

  But I’d promised her a good time, and I didn’t want my dwindling resolve to ruin that. I had to steel myself.

  Get control so I could . . .

  She leaned into me.

  Sparks. That energy that was always alive a strike in the bare space between us.

  My guts twisted into a thousand knots, and I swore I could feel the resolve I was just trying to fortify splinter under the pressure.

  Chocolate eyes stared up at me. The strain stripped away and something else in its place.

  Something so mesmerizing and enthralling.

  Magic.

  The girl had always invoked the impossible, but there was nothing dark about it.

  Bright, bright light.

  Goodness and grace.

  I felt drunk on it. Drunk on this girl who clutched my upper arms.

  Heat binding. Wrapping and enveloping.

  I pulled her flush, her sweet body tucked against mine where we stood tucked alone at the end of the hall.

  A whimper left her full lips, and those chocolate eyes flared.

&
nbsp; Shit. Shit. Shit.

  This was so bad.

  I was in deep. Deeper and deeper.

  Losing myself.

  But the problem was, I’d been lost for years.

  And with her in my arms? The only thing I could think was that I’d been found.

  Rescued.

  Which was so goddamned stupid.

  Clearing my throat, I inched back, hating that I had to put a damper on the night.

  But my need had risen to dangerous levels.

  “Come on, I should get you home.”

  Faith all but stumbled forward at the loss of contact. Dropping her gaze, she shifted in discomfort and tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah. That’s probably a good idea.”

  I set my hand on the small of her back. Bad idea, too. Seemed there was nothing I could do that didn’t spark the need that strained and pulled inside me.

  We wound back down the hall and into the crowd, and from the corner of my eye, I glimpsed Ian with some chick pinned against the wall.

  His attention flicked my way for a beat, his expression devoid of anything but a desperate hunger.

  Like he’d consume everything and anything in his path.

  Burn it all away for the sake of a second’s pleasure.

  I hated it for him.

  Wanted more for him.

  Wanted more for me.

  Wanted her.

  Fuck.

  I wanted her.

  Wanted her so desperately, I could feel that tacked on restraint coming unglued. Pulling up at the edges. All the reasons I couldn’t do this failing to matter any longer.

  I rushed her out of the bar, through the throng of people crushed in the space. Didn’t even take the time to say our goodbyes.

  I had to get out of there before I lost my mind.

  I gave the valet my slip then wanted to lash out like some kind of deranged lunatic when the kid eyed my girl like he was imagining licking her up and down.

  My car pulled to the curb, and I quickly helped Faith inside, trying not to watch the way those long legs slipped into the darkness of the car.

  Trying to ignore the way I was dying to run my hand up the silky flesh, beneath the hem of that skirt to find what I knew would be burning underneath.

  Sweat beaded on my brow, muscles clenched in restraint.

  I ran around the front, tipped the kid—who I still really wanted to deck—and hopped inside.

  I really was losing it.

  I hit the road and cranked up the air, needing to cut the heat out of the space.

  But it only radiated and grew and compounded.

  I took the city streets.

  Lights blinked down over us, flashes of darkness, streaks of hazy light.

  I took the corners harder than I probably needed to, trying to beat my frustration out on the road.

  But nothing worked.

  Faith’s breaths filled the car, and I couldn’t help from peeking over that way.

  She was in the seat, shifting uncomfortably, squeezing her thighs together like she didn’t know what to do with herself any more than I did.

  She pushed her back against the door. Searching for a way to put space between us.

  It was almost sadness that filled her tone, all wrapped up in a needy vibration. “Why have you always made me feel this way?”

  “Shit,” I cursed at no one but myself.

  I blinked hard, should have kept my mouth shut but couldn’t stop the confession from bleeding from my tongue. “And you somehow think you don’t affect me? That I’m not dying right now?”

  She squeezed her eyes closed, her hands pressed to her heart, words coming free that I was pretty sure she was going to regret tomorrow. “You killed me, Jace. Shattered me. I didn’t think I’d survive when you left. It hurt so bad. It all hurt so bad.”

  She slurred a bit, the alcohol dulling her defenses.

  The only buzz I had was her.

  She vibrated my bones.

  Shivered through my senses.

  Once I got out of the city, I took a left down the main road of our small town. We raced through the quiet hum.

  “It killed me, too,” I finally admitted.

  She choked over a sob. “Why? Then why did you leave me if you didn’t want to go?”

  Pain compressed my entire being. “I had to. I’m sorry, but I had to. You deserved so much better than me.”

  Tears lined her face as she stared over at me. “You were the only one of us who believed that.”

  “Faith,” I murmured, rubbing the back of my hand over my lips. A reminder to keep them shut. That there were things that would hurt her so much worse than my walking away had.

  I made the last right onto the bumpy dirt road that followed along the stream at the back of town and then a left onto the tree-lined path.

  Moonlight streaked through, shining down to illuminate the girl who continued to watch me from the seat.

  Silver streaks on her cheeks.

  Hate and love in her eyes.

  I came to a stop, feeling so fucking wrecked, wondering how we’d gone from fun to our hearts bleeding all over my leather seats in a second flat.

  But that was what I got for dipping my toes into dangerous waters.

  I’d waded in until I was swallowed.

  And I just kept going deeper.

  Deeper and deeper and deeper.

  Got the unsettled feeling I’d never again be able to break the surface.

  Hopping out of my car, I scanned the area, making sure it was clear before I rounded the front. Opening her door, I took her hand and helped her down.

  She sagged into me.

  Vanilla and rose.

  Delicate purple petals.

  I wanted to bathe in them, too.

  Our feet crunched on the pebbles, her heels sinking in, her weight against my side.

  She leaned away a bit when we got to the porch steps.

  This part of the porch was complete thanks to the crew that had worked through the week, this gorgeous place sitting in the darkness, a shadow of what we’d wanted.

  Of all I’d lost.

  I was the fool who tortured myself with the barest taste of it. Taunting myself with what it might have been like.

  She is worth it. She is worth it. She has always been worth it.

  I fumbled through the locks while Faith waited two steps behind me. Her breaths heaved. Held in the humid night air.

  A gust of relief hit me when I finally had the door open. Needing reprieve. To get away.

  Because I could feel myself tipping.

  Sliding.

  Stumbling at the edge.

  I started to walk inside but froze in my tracks when I heard the ragged word that came from behind.

  “Jace.”

  Prickles lifted at my nape, and I knew I should ignore it. Ignore her and her plea, go up to my room, and lock the door.

  But she’d always made me weak.

  Slowly, I turned around. Faith was right there, staring at me.

  So goddamned gorgeous she was the only thing I could see.

  Inciting the energy that whipped and churned.

  It lashed at my skin. Lashed at my spirit.

  It pressed and pulsed. The connection we’d always shared pulled taut. Her fingertips stroked the glowing flesh of her exposed chest, right between her breasts.

  That was it.

  I snapped.

  Erased the space and had her spun around and pinned to the exterior wall in a second flat.

  It was as if my whole damn soul moaned in relief.

  My hands burrowed in the twist of her hair, and my mouth took over for my brain.

  It wasn’t gentle. This brutal kiss was a demand.

  My tongue plundering. Ransacking. Searching for what had been mine.

  Right in the exact same spot where we’d always found ourselves all those years ago.

  Delicate hands clutched at me, nails digging into my skin.

  Hate. Hurt. L
ove. Desperation.

  They swelled and crashed, her emotions overpowering. Filling me. Invading me.

  “Beauty,” I muttered at her mouth, pressing against her body, needing more.

  Needing everything.

  I rocked against her.

  Heat blazed.

  She whimpered. “Jace. Jace. Why?”

  I could feel it shattering. The flimsy understanding we’d made. It’d been nothing but a fool’s game from the start.

  My hands slid over her body.

  Cupping her curves.

  Memorizing.

  Remembering.

  I cinched down on her narrow waist and pressed my aching cock to her belly. Dying to be inside her. To take her and love her and promise I’d never let her go.

  Fuck. What was I doing?

  I searched for strength. To remember why I was here. What I was going to ruin if I gave in.

  I forced myself away, my breaths ragged where I panted them into the inch of space between us.

  Hers were choppy, hiccupped cries that filled the night.

  I stumbled back a step, and she stared at me in shock.

  That was right before she clapped her hand over her mouth and released a horrified sob.

  “Faith.” I reached for her.

  Squeezing her eyes closed, she backed away. “Please, don’t touch me.”

  I roughed a frustrated hand through my hair.

  I knew better. I knew better.

  “I’m so damned sorry.”

  She shook her head, cutting me off before she turned and fled up the stairs.

  Twenty-Seven

  Jace

  Eighteen Years Old

  Sweat dripped like a leaky faucet down Jace’s back, his shirt drenched from the adrenaline that pumped overtime, shame oozing from his pores.

  Steven yanked on the straps of Jace’s backpack, jerking Jace forward, their noses close to touching.

  The stench of greed and corruption filled Jace’s nostrils.

  “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Steven said, his voice hard, words a threat. “You pick it up here. You take it across town and let me know when it’s delivered. Nothin’ to it.”

  Disgust twisted up Jace’s face, the weight of what Steven had just placed in his backpack feeling like a million pounds.

  Or maybe the fucking world.

  “Hard? We all know you take the easy way out. You don’t give a shit about anything but money and the fastest way to get it.”