More of You: A Confessions of the Heart Stand-Alone Novel

by Jackson, A. L.

  Couldn’t erase the marks she’d etched into his spirit.

  Joseph had always been a master manipulator, anyway. His looks alone gave him the appearance of an innocent, good kid, but he’d never been anything but a slimy cocksucker, always looking out for himself.

  Maybe Jace had taught him that way. Raised him to be a fighter.

  A survivor.

  But he’d always thought his loyalty to the kid would earn him some in return.

  Maybe it was Jace who’d been the fool for sacrificing anything for him—for lying and cheating and stealing for his cousin and thinking it would count for something.

  He hated the man in front of him.

  This fiery loathing that boiled inside him.

  He managed to pretend it wasn’t seething inside him as he sat back in his massive executive chair, rocked back as if he didn’t have a care in the world.

  “And what’s your excuse this time?” Jace asked, so dry they could have been standing in Death Valley.

  “I’m breaking out on my own. It’s time that I lived my life right. The way you taught me to do.” Joseph was all eager lies.

  Jace almost laughed.

  He almost fucking laughed aloud at the line Joseph was feeding him when he knew firsthand that Joseph had gambled every last dollar away.

  Jace’s friend Mack kept him appraised of all the bullshit that went down back in Broadshire Rim. The sordid, sleazy mess Joseph had himself entangled in.

  Like Jace should care.

  But he did.

  He could never rid himself of that vacant spot that throbbed inside him. Could never scrape the itch from his skin. Could never rid himself of the thoughts of her.

  His worry over the life she might be living and the cutting jealousy that he wasn’t the one living it with her.

  Jace had built an empire. Worked and strived and fought until he’d come out on top.

  He’d taken his brother with him, put him through college and law school, kept him close and protected until Ian could stand on his own without the threat of that seedy world pulling him back down.

  And still, this useless excuse for a man had everything Jace wanted.

  Nothing but a common criminal.

  A puppet and pawn.

  Working for Steven.

  The same way as he’d been all along.

  “I have nothing to offer you,” Jace told him, cool and calm while that fire raced his veins.

  Joseph snorted. “Is that right?”

  “That’s right.”

  “But you have the one thing she wants, don’t you?” There was spite in Joseph’s tone.

  Jace rocked forward, his movements crawling with menace as he breathed, “And you have a wife and a kid on the way that you’re putting in danger.”

  “You don’t give a shit about my kid,” Joseph spat.

  “Do you?” Jace accused.

  Joseph blinked. The first real emotion Jace had seen from him since he’d come through the door. “Of course, I do.”

  Jace should shove him out the door. Toss him out on his ass. Because he shouldn’t care, either.

  He hated the idea that Joseph had touched her. That they were going to have a child. A family.

  Hated that Joseph fucking knew that Jace would do about anything to ensure Faith’s happiness.

  That there were some dreams he’d never stand in the way of.

  “Then I’ll make you a deal.” His voice was hoarse. Ragged. “The deed for their safety. You truly walk away from all that bullshit, from Steven and the rest of his crew, and you don’t look back. I’ll even throw some money on top of it.”

  Jace pointed over Joseph’s shoulder. “And then you don’t ever step through that door again. Do you understand me?”

  Face pinched, Joseph nodded.

  Jace squeezed his eyes closed for a beat.

  Against the agony.

  The grief.

  The crushing of a dream.

  But he was granting one in the same token.

  Sacrifice.

  He’d always been willing to make it for the ones he loved most.

  And he’d never, ever stop loving her.

  Thirty-Nine

  Jace

  “We finally got something.” Mack’s voice was thin and hard on the other end of the line.

  The last of the day had sunk on the other side of the window, the late dusk filling the room.

  Bailey had been tucked into bed a half hour ago, the monitor positioned on the nightstand next to me.

  Faith had slipped away to grab a shower and wash the day from her skin.

  I’d been contemplating joining her when my phone rang.

  I immediately started to pace.

  God, we needed news.

  I just prayed it was the good kind.

  Any lead to grab on to that might finally point us in the right direction.

  “What did you get?”

  Strain pulsed through Mack’s sigh. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.”

  I roughed a hand over my head. “Yeah, well you probably shouldn’t have told me a lot of things, but it’s too late now, don’t you think?”

  I could almost see his reluctant nod. “Do you remember Doug . . . one of the officers on the case? You met him at my birthday party?”

  “Yeah, of course. He’s driven by the house quite a few times to check on things, too.”

  “He and Felix have been digging through the few bits of evidence we’ve been able to uncover. They found an address in some of the files found at Joseph’s office. It’s a warehouse. Main name on the trust was Joseph’s—but when Doug and Felix searched deeper, they found Steven tied to it.”

  Mack inhaled deeply. “We’d thought we’d rooted out all of Steven’s holdings, but clearly, it went further than we’d imagined. Did a drive by myself, and there’s definitely activity at the address. This is a building that belonged to both Steven and Joseph—both of them are dead—and there are still people moving shit in and out of there? Shouldn’t be a soul around.”

  I could hear the implication in Mack’s words. Adding the facts up and coming to a quick sum.

  “Shit.” I roughed the back of my hand over my mouth.

  “Yup. This has to be the break we needed. I can feel it. We’re right there. Gut tells me we’re going to find what we’ve been missing behind those doors. We’re finally going to be able to put these bastards to bed.”

  “What’s the plan?” I asked, tone harsher than I intended.

  Mack hesitated.

  “Don’t try to freeze me out now.”

  Tension rippled between them, and then Mack cursed under his breath. “With two murder victims tied to the same building, we easily got a warrant. Going in at midnight.”

  “I’m coming.”

  “No, you’re not.”

  “Yeah, I am. You can’t expect me to sit here when we’re this close to nailing the bastard.”

  “And the last thing I need is you getting in the way. You already know my ass is on the line for telling you any of this. You show up, it’s gonna look bad.”

  My heart stuttered when I heard the shower turn off, and I lowered my voice. “I won’t even get out of my car. I just need to be there to watch you haul the monster out in cuffs who tried to hurt Faith and Bailey.”

  The guy who killed Joseph.

  I shouldn’t care.

  I shouldn’t care.

  But I did.

  Still hadn’t forgiven myself for my part in it all. This might finally be the retribution my soul needed to put all this in the past.

  Agony splintered through me. My guilt and remorse. Everything I should have done differently. All the things I’d go back and change.

  I couldn’t, but at least I could help bring justice.

  For Bailey.

  For Faith.

  And fuck . . . maybe for Joseph, too.

  “This shit is real, Jace. Dangerous. We have no idea what we’re going to come up against in there.
”

  “Not up for discussion, Mack. I’m sorry, but I have to do this. You know I do. I think that’s why you called me in the first place.”

  I heard muttering on the other end of the line, Mack talking to someone else before he came back on.

  “All right, Jace. Felix volunteered to go out and keep a lookout at the plantation while we do this. But you stay in the car. Do you understand me?”

  “I will. I promise”

  “Be here by eleven. You can ride with me. Felix will head over by then.”

  Silence filled the space between us before he finally said, “It’s time.”

  “It’s time,” I returned.

  That was the hardest part.

  The fact that it was time.

  The fact that I couldn’t keep it from Faith any longer.

  She stepped out the door, hair soaking wet and body wrapped in a towel, that energy surging when she looked at me from across the room.

  Beauty.

  Grace and light and everything I’d ever wanted.

  I just prayed after everything, she would still want me.

  Forty

  Faith

  I stepped out of the shower and started to towel off. A muted voice echoed through my bathroom door.

  One I would recognize forever.

  The one my spirit had quietly called to for all these years.

  There was something about the tone of it, though, that sent dread skating across my dampened skin and had me quietly edging toward the door and pressing my ear to the thin wood.

  Maybe it was wrong, eavesdropping this way. The way my heart fumbled around in my chest as if it were struggling against the chains of fear that wanted to wrap it up.

  But the man was in my room, and there was nothing I could do but listen.

  Nerves trembling through me, I angled my head and bit down on my lip as I listened to one side of the conversation.

  “I won’t even get out of my car. I just need to be there to watch you haul the monster out in cuffs who tried to hurt Faith and Bailey.”

  “Not up for discussion, Mack. I’m sorry . . . but I have to do this. You know I do. I think that’s why you called me in the first place.”

  “It’s time.”

  Something rustled, and I heard Jace curse under his breath, as if he were upset over whatever Mack had told him, while a torrent of fear billowed through me, taking to my veins.

  Because I could feel it.

  Coming closer.

  Gaining speed.

  Everything I didn’t want to know.

  Everything I wanted to pretend wasn’t real.

  And maybe that made me the biggest fool in the world.

  Pretending something wasn’t real didn’t keep it from happening.

  But I didn’t think I could take any more. Couldn’t take any more before my spirit cracked.

  The fragile seams Jace had made as he’d stitched me back together felt as if they were being pulled and stretched. So close to rending under the pressure.

  With my heart beating somewhere in my throat, I quietly turned the old knob on the door and stepped into the shadowy darkness of my bedroom.

  Night pressed at the window, the fade of the moon slicing through the leaves that billowed and waved at the glass.

  It sent the room into a slow dance of shadows.

  Hypnotizing.

  Jace stood at the end of the bed.

  His own shadowy figure. Dark and somehow the brightest thing I’d ever seen.

  That fierce, protective fury coming off him in waves.

  My beast.

  And there I was, making a thousand wishes.

  That all of this would actually be okay, just like he’d promised.

  That he wouldn’t allow anything to happen to us.

  That he would love us and protect us.

  As if he felt every single one of my questions, he took a step my direction.

  His presence thrashed.

  A life force that cracked.

  A boom against the walls.

  I could almost feel it shake the foundation of the old house. The impact of him looking at me that way.

  He slowly edged forward, so much power in each step that I found myself taking one back with each that he took. No longer sure that I could stand under the magnitude of it.

  Mystery written in his face and questions written on my heart.

  I wanted him to erase them. Write over them in his own words.

  Love me. Love me.

  The only cover I had was the towel that was wrapped around me, and I clutched it tighter. Throat dry and stomach heavy.

  Trembling with fear, that feeling at odds with the desire I felt for this man.

  His face so beautiful.

  His body so gorgeous.

  Unlike anything I’d ever seen.

  Shirt gone, it exposed those shoulders that were so wide. The expanse of skin on his muscled chest so smooth.

  Carved and chiseled, his abdomen was the thing fantasies were made of.

  This . . . this was what I’d imagined when I’d pressed my eyes closed and dreamed for so many years.

  But there he was, real and whole and massive in the middle of my room where he stood like a darkened storm.

  The only thing the man wore were those same sleep pants he’d been wearing yesterday morning, teasing me with this perfect picture of him.

  Powerful and imposing.

  Heat blistered through the compressed, thickened air, chills lighting on my skin beneath the burn of those copper eyes.

  “Who was that?” I rushed out, knowing the answer but not sure I really wanted him to give it to me.

  Not sure I was ready.

  I didn’t know if Jace was either as he stalked closer to me.

  I was sure I looked a mess. A drenched rat that shivered and shook. No place to hide.

  The problem was, the only thing I wanted was for this man to find me. To find me and keep me and make it all go away.

  The way he had today.

  The way he’d ripped every worry away. Brought his quiet peace to my spirit and our home.

  I wondered if he knew it.

  That in all his torment, I’d never felt safer than with him at my side.

  Maybe he did.

  Because a flash of something struck through his expression.

  Bold.

  Brutal.

  Savage.

  Perfect possession.

  His fingers dove right into my soaking hair. A growl rumbled in his chest as he tugged me against his hard body.

  “Mack. He found something. We’re close. So close. This is going to end, Faith. You won’t have to be afraid anymore.”

  My knees rocked and my spirit churned.

  “Tell me you trust me,” he demanded. “That you understand that every single thing I’ve ever done, I’ve done for you.”

  “I trust you.” I said it.

  I gave him the very thing I’d promised myself I’d never be fool enough to give him again.

  Because you couldn’t cut yourself open wider than offering someone your trust.

  It was giving them your heart.

  Your dreams and your vulnerabilities.

  It was placing all your faith into their hands.

  And Jace Jacobs held every piece of me.

  “I’m going to prove to you that you can, Faith. You’re not going to want to, but I need you to hold this truth . . . you can trust me.”

  Confusion spun, and my lips parted, rimmed with the question.

  But Jace . . . Jace took it as an invitation.

  Those hands tightened in my hair, and he yanked me closer to him.

  Flames flashed. My wet skin against his heated flesh. His mouth came down on mine.

  Hard.

  Possession in his kiss.

  A command. Demanding that I give him everything.

  I opened to him, and his tongue swept inside. It reignited that ever-raging fire inside me.

  Every insecuri
ty burned.

  Ashes.

  Because I was his.

  Our tongues tangled, and his hands roamed, gliding out of my hair and down onto my neck.

  Could he feel my pulse pound?

  My heart and my love?

  Because I could feel the power of it surging out of me. Reaching for him.

  “God, Faith, you are ruining me. Ruining every single thing I’d forced myself into believing.”

  “You ruined me a long time ago,” I whispered between his demanding kisses.

  He walked me back across the floor, and my bottom hit the edge of the massive dresser that took up almost the entire back wall in the room.

  The dark hard wood was carved and detailed, and the massive ornate mirror affixed to the top was hazed-over with age.

  He pressed me to it, his cock hard against my belly, pleading for me through the thin pants that he wore.

  Need tumbled through me.

  Desire dense.

  And I remembered . . . remembered what it’d been like to want a man so desperately.

  To hunger for his touch.

  Body begging for the kind of pleasure that only he could give.

  A whimper rocked free and became one with our kiss.

  “Nothing has ever felt as good as you touching me.”

  Oh, it was the truth. Because those flames were lapping, growing so hot in my belly, that space between my thighs glowing bright.

  Aching for him to fill me.

  The need of it almost felt like too much.

  As if I might burst if he didn’t take me.

  He ripped only his mouth away, his hands back to my face, those eyes penetrating where they stared down at me through the murky darkness.

  “I’ve had to fight for everything I’ve ever wanted for my whole life, Faith. I’ve had to lie and steal and cheat. None of that even compares to what I’m prepared to do for you. Loving you makes me feel like I’m no longer just surviving. Loving you is living. I love you. So much. So goddamned much.”

  And I swam in them.

  The confessions of his heart.

  Waded through the emotion that filled the room.

  Dense and deep and dark.

  But somehow, I didn’t think I’d ever felt so light. The man bearing the weight. Holding me up when I’d forgotten how to fly.