Lilah

by Gemma Liviero

  When he was finished he stood up immediately to attend to his dress. I turned to face the wall gasping and clutching my lower abdomen where much of the pain had centered.

  ‘You can have the rest of the night off, unpaid of course. Make sure you clean yourself up. You don’t want my brother to see you like this. He will not touch you again if he knows. His piety extends only to those unsoiled.’

  His thoughts were jumbled, drunk on this rush of power and violence. I could not help feeling that there was some regret in his reference to his brother, but whether it was out of fondness for Emil, or what travesty would likely follow this event, it was difficult to know.

  At some point I fell asleep to wake in darkness. It was late when Danika returned. When she saw my state, any resentment towards me changed to pity, and she held a candle above me surveying my body carefully. She left to return with steaming, soapy water and a cloth and began to cleanse me.

  ‘That man will burn in hell for what he’s done.’ And I knew she had seen this before. ‘They take everything else from us. You would think they could leave our chastity intact.

  ‘I’m sorry I didn’t warn you. But some do it willingly with Andrew for they think they have a chance with him. I thought either you were one of those or that with his engagement he might have changed.’

  She found a clean nightgown and dressed me. I did not protest but lay back on the cot again while she covered me with a blanket.

  A short time later, there was a knock at the door and Emil was quickly by my bedside. My tears had dried but my eyes were left swollen and red.

  ‘What is wrong with you? Are you sick?’

  I could not look at him, so ashamed I felt.

  When I didn’t answer he questioned Danika. ‘It is that pig of a brother of yours that done this.’

  ‘Did what?’ Emil looked confused but only for a moment and there I followed his gaze to my bloody garments in the corner. He stood up, reddening from his neck to his face with the veins at his temples threatening to burst. ‘That bastard,’ he said with venom in a voice I had never heard him use before. This sudden rage made me fearful for him and broke me from my self-pity and shame.

  ‘Emil, do not do anything to avenge this,’ I pleaded. ‘It is your sister you need to take care of…’

  Emil turned then. ‘What did you say?’

  I then told him what I had seen in Evie’s room and I could see the hate mount behind his eyes. He sat down then and instructed Danika to remain hidden in the wash rooms for the remainder of the evening to stay safe. She nodded then. I did not know what the evening held for me but something told me that my time here would come to an end. I reached my hand towards Danika’s, passing her the little key I had retrieved from Lady Köszegi’s balcony earlier that day. Danika looked curiously at the key in her hand. At first she frowned but then we held a gaze and I hoped that the images in my head were being conveyed. If not, then I believe that Danika was clever enough to test the key on every locked cabinet, and, if the situation required it, she would leave this place in better circumstance. She nodded to Emil and left the room. It was the last time I saw her.

  ‘What will you do?’ I did not like the way his eyes were frozen and his thoughts hidden to me. It was if something had died inside of him.

  ‘My sister, Hanna did not die of the fevers as everyone thought. Four years ago she was found hanging from a rope inside the stables. I was too preoccupied or perhaps too ignorant to understand what was going on. Father had seemed to favour her over Arianne who fought with him and was often beaten for it. I remember that before Hanna’s illness there was little flesh on her bones and I wonder now how many times she must have been subjected to my father’s visits. It is all so clear now. How could I have not seen?’

  ‘You weren’t expected to understand such cruelty.’

  ‘I was her brother but always wrapped up in my own woes, my jealousy of Andrew, my desire for my father’s attentions, my loneliness.’

  ‘Emil, stop it! You could not have known.’

  He turned to me, gripping his own wrist as if somehow it would take away his pain inside. ‘Part of me did know but I refused to believe it.’ He stood up. ‘I’m sorry he has hurt you so viciously. Neither of them will hurt again.’

  He opened the door to leave but I jumped up then and grabbed his arm. He shook me free as if he didn’t see me, as if I no longer existed, and I even sensed a slight revulsion, fleeting though it was. Because of the deed of his brother I was perhaps no longer pure to him as Andrew had predicted. Still, vengeance was foremost driving him, and whatever his thoughts were of me I did not want any wrong to befall him.

  I ran after him uncaring that I wore only a chemise. Although he was not well, his cause had also given him strength. ‘Please,’ I called after him. I had not had time to heal the aching in my legs and stomach, something I had never consciously had to do.

  Emil was calling now for his brother. He walked out the front door.

  ‘What do you want?’ asked Istavan who appeared from nowhere, sneering at both of us. Emil’s eyes were wild, and me with my hair flowing without a cap, shoeless in my nightgown.

  ‘You are no father of mine,’ shouted Emil.

  Istavan stood for a moment, eyes narrowed. He took a step towards his son with fists clenched then walked away towards the barn, his black cap disappearing into the darkness of the grounds. Emil followed him shouting: ‘Are you a coward father? Is that why you hide?’

  Istavan reappeared carrying a horsewhip, his stride purposeful as he headed towards Emil. ‘You should know by now that I hide from no-one and you are no longer a son of mine.’

  ‘No!’ I rushed forward but was quickly restrained; Andrew had pinned my arms behind my back. A sudden movement caught my attention and I turned to see Lady Köszegi at the window above us. When she saw me looking she closed the curtain.

  Emil lunged at his father with a small dagger he had produced but one crack of the whip had instantly ended his attack. His shirt was split at the shoulder and I watched the first drops of blood darken the white cloth. He tried in vain to reach his father but again the whip lashed him hard, pushing him backwards onto the ground. Emil examined the cross of blood on his torso with disbelief. Istavan paused briefly to take stock of the situation, perhaps half-hoping that it was all over, but instead it gave Emil enough time to rush at his father before he could once again raise the whip.

  Istavan was quicker and before Emil had time to plunge the knife, he buckled from the force of his father’s fist in his stomach. Emil doubled over lowering himself to his knees. I watched his failed attempt to stand up, and he then began to wheeze heavily, his chest rising and falling too fast for him to take a full breath. Blood trickled from his mouth where his disease was seeping.

  ‘Stop,’ I shouted. ‘He is sick. You will kill him.’ But Andrew’s large hand clamped across my mouth stopping any further protest.

  Emil lay on his side clutching his chest. His lungs were collapsing and he could not stop coughing. Istavan whipped him again on his back and Emil did not yelp in pain this time, but his body arched suddenly, and several convulsions followed. The spasm in his chest seemed to have subsided and I knew this could only mean that he had barely any air left in his lungs. Ivan continued with several more lashings and Emil’s clothes now resembled bloody rags.

  I felt Andrew release me this time and step forward. ‘Father,’ he said hollowly. ‘That is enough.’

  Istavan turned to his second-born son and bellowed for him to stay away, his face red with rage. I realised this was no ordinary man and certainly not one of sound mind. He was enjoying this in some sadistic way. ‘I will say when it is enough!’

  Istavan hit his son with his fists several more times then kicked him hard in the back. Emil’s body jerked with the force and he lay still with eyes closed. With teeth clenched and his temper raging through his veins, Istavan then stepped towards me. I thought he would hit me too and his fist was close enough fo
r me to see bone beneath his raw knuckles. But then his breathing slowed and his arms lowered at his side. He took one look back at Emil and rubbed and wrung his hands violently as if he wanted to be free of something vile or, I thought at the time, he was absolving his own sins. He nodded then with some satisfaction and headed towards the house. This was familiar territory to him – another casualty of rebellion and no allowances for his own flesh and blood.

  ‘Take the bitch into the forest and kill her,’ he ordered to his remaining son, casually over his shoulder, in the same tone he had used to the stable boy to ready his horse.

  Andrew grabbed me and pushed me roughly towards the stables. With one arm around my waist he hoisted me across the front of his stallion, and mounting behind me. I was too exhausted to feel loathing even after what he took from me earlier that evening. We galloped past the limp and bloodied form of Emil and I craned my neck to watch him disappear from view as I was taken into the hilly forests at the far side of the property.

  I no longer cared what happened to me. He lifted me off the horse effortlessly, as if I was a cloth doll, and I waited for his sword to strike me. I had no-one and nothing. My parents had no love for me and I was homeless once more. Emil was dying, possibly already dead, and death was probably my best alternative. I might at least find peace.

  In the light of the stars we stood on a rocky outcrop.

  ‘I am sorry about Emil,’ he said suddenly. ‘My brother was too weak for this world. Perhaps in some way he is better in another place.’

  I did not respond for any form of repentance or regret was wasted on me now.

  ‘If you go now and disappear, I will not kill you,’ he said, his voice slightly shaken. ‘Just don’t come back or I will have to. Do you understand?’

  I was shocked for a moment that he would set me free, then slightly disappointed. ‘Please kill me,’ I said. ‘For I have no life to go to.’

  He thought about this a moment. ‘Alright then,’ he said. ‘I will make it quick.’

  He told me to kneel and I looked up to the stars. They were particularly bright nestled in their bed of azure. A cuckoo bird called out into the night and others responded. I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer to my God, asking for forgiveness and that he may accept me in heaven.

  I felt the rush of air as Andrew raised his sword above me. There was a sudden stillness, then I heard grappling sounds followed by the cracking of bones. Before I could open my eyes I was suddenly swept to one side: the feeling of being pushed by giant hands or by another unnatural force, sending me sprawling into the damp earth. I raised my head to see that another figure had taken Andrew’s place.

  Gabriel

  I had seen enough. I had watched the father strike his son to an inch from life. It was time for the girl to leave.

  I had rushed past her and grabbed the man’s head, breaking it like the stem of a flower. My speed passing Lilah pushed her sideways, the force of the magic causing the earth to crumble and scatter around her.

  She stood up bewildered. At my feet was the human called Andrew, his head twisted so that he now looked out through dead eyes over his shoulder at the sky. But he should have been looking downward, as that was undoubtedly where he was bound, to exist for eternity.

  ‘Is he dead?’ she asked.

  ‘Yes.’

  I was angry at her. At the way she gave up so easily and lost the fight. I told her this.

  ‘You saw everything then,’ she said.

  ‘Yes.’ She was ashamed then and I put it down to such human and witch condition where trauma weakens their spirit and clouds their judgement.

  I grabbed her hand and led her to the horse. It was time to take her to a place where she would be safe. When I told her this she began to panic, her former instincts for survival returned.

  ‘Emil,’ she begged. ‘I must check on him.’

  Emil? She would soon learn that her concerns are wasted on many such as these. They would turn on her in a heartbeat if they knew of her origins. But she was young and not to know. We mounted the horse and I nodded my agreement. I thought it was a slight deviation to a much larger cause and so humoured her. We rode fast through the trees and she sat closely behind me, her breasts pressed against my back, her arms tightly around my middle. Her body was warm against my back, and I enjoyed the sensation, even the sweet human smell of her; marred only by a faint male stench. I recognised the heinous defiling and regretted not arriving earlier to prevent it, instead pursuing my own indulgences.

  As we neared the house, she pushed at me to get down from the horse quickly then ran to the young male.

  ‘Emil,’ she called. He did not turn his head but managed to murmur something and I thought what sort of father beats his son and then leaves him in the cold of night to die a slow and painful death.

  ‘Evie,’ he rasped.

  ‘I will go to her but first we must get you help.’

  She began to put her hands on him.

  ‘No,’ I said and pulled them gently away. ‘You will have no strength if you do this. Do as the boy says. Find the girl and make sure she is safe and I will look after him.’

  ‘But you can’t…’ And then she stopped. ‘Are you a healer too?’

  ‘I can be,’ I said, though this was only the very tip of my skills and not applied to humans. Of course, it was not the time to tell her this now.

  She looked at Emil reluctantly and then at me.

  ‘I love you, Emil,’ she said and kissed his forehead. ‘I will return to see you soon.’ She turned from us then and disappeared into the house. I stood there looking at the boy, whose eyes met mine, and for some strange humanly reason felt the slightest twinge of jealousy that this girl should have eyes for someone else. The best thing to do would be to feed from him so that his blood was not wasted in vain. It was not in our code to cure humans. If they wanted to kill one another it was their choice.

  I had watched a father batter his son with such deadly intent to expose the marrow of his bones. You might ask why I didn’t intervene in such a simple thing as healing. But the strigoi are not to interfere with the laws of humans. The mess they make of themselves is theirs to own.

  I did what was necessary and followed her into the house. I could smell the repulsive human father long before I reached him. His fetid stench was easy to find. I had even heard their conversation.

  When I reached the bedroom of Evie I saw the small girl cringing in a corner with bruises on her cheek. Istavan stood over Lilah kicking her on the floor. Such unmatched acts of violence made my own task so much easier. There were nail marks on his wrist where Lilah had fought. The smell of his infected blood consumed me then and I walked menacingly towards him.

  He warned me to keep away, and I caught atrocities and corruption in this man’s eyes in the seconds before he pulled his dagger to lunge at me. It took but a moment to snap Istavan’s wrist and twist his other arm so tightly behind him that it tore from his shoulder. He shrieked and I dropped him to the floor to writhe in pain. Urine soaked the front of his trouser while he lay helplessly whimpering and pleading for mercy. With the tip of my boot I pressed my strigoi strength onto his wounded shoulder until the bones crunched from the pressure and the blood and muscles were reduced to pulp. He was drowsy with torture and his pleas came in hoarse whispers. I did not rush to release him from his suffering instead sending him images of his hanging body burning in hellfire for the lifetime of torment he had inflicted on others.

  Pulling him up by the front of his shirt I let him witness the fangs growing within my mouth and fed hungrily upon those last moments of fear before I bit down on his neck. His blood flowed freely into my mouth and I forgot all that was around me for a moment. The blood came in gushes and I viewed his past. It was one of violence, of secret deals with corrupt princes and those in waiting. There were rapes of his young daughters and of others, and I was slightly shocked to see the girl from the monastery. I knew that this man was her father but did not realise th
e extent to which he had hurt her. I saw her hit back at her father and then taken away in a cart, her mother crying pathetic tears. I saw this man kill his own brother while sparring and then secretly bury the body. And then there was a final rush of blood and a momentary feeling of floating before it was over.

  When I opened my eyes I saw that the Evie looked even more terrified as she slid from the room and Lilah stood close-mouthed, appalled, but strangely not horrified.

  ‘Don’t be afraid,’ I said.

  ‘I don’t know what you are but I am not afraid.’

  It took me seconds to catch Evie and bring her back to the room before she had reached her mother. She struggled and I covered her mouth with my hand. With my other I touched her temple and she relaxed in my arms.

  ‘What have you done to her?’

  ‘Put her in a sleep. All that happened in her room this evening will be forgotten. Her father will have disappeared and no-one to explain the disappearance, but his enemies will agree that sooner or later he had it coming...’

  ‘She should come with us.’

  ‘No. She is safe here now. There is no-one to hurt her.’

  ‘And what of her mother? I believe that Lady Köszegi saw everything that happened outside.’

  ‘I can sense that she is asleep from the drugs she takes to fight her own demons. She is no harm to anyone except herself.’

  In a piece of linen, I wrapped the remains of the father – little more than a husk – and took Lilah by the hand to leave by the bedroom window that faced the forest at the back of the villa.

  ‘But Emil?’ she asked.

  I shook my head. ‘He died the moment you left. In those final moments he did not suffer. You would not have had the strength to fight this.’

  I saw tears enter her eyes. ‘Arianne must know all this. She must know that at least her youngest sister is still alive.’