Imperfect Love (Heart 0f Hope Book 4)

by Ajme Williams

  “He was saying what a great husband I was.” I pulled her to me, planning to consummate our second engagement.

  “Well, I suppose you are.”

  “Suppose?” I stared down into her bright green eyes. I looked there often to make sure she was still with me. Never again would we lose sight of each other if I had a say in it.

  She nodded up at me as she ran her fingers through my hair.

  “You’re not sure?” I asked.

  “It’s a day by day thing,” she said, grinning up at me.

  “Day to day, huh? And today I haven’t met the threshold for being a great husband?”

  “The day isn’t over yet.” She reached down and cupped me.

  I jerked as her touch sent electric shocks of desire through me. “Well then, let me perform my husband duties. See if I can improve my marks.”

  “Making love to me is always a good way to ensure you’re a great husband.”

  I laughed. “Good to know.”

  28

  Terra

  Two weeks after Brayden proposed again, I stood in the Rose Garden, where ten years earlier I’d made vows to love Brayden in sickness and in health. Today, I was going to reaffirm those vows. The difference was that today I knew how precious love was, and how easily it could be lost if it wasn’t nurtured. So today, those vows would mean even more.

  “Mommy, when do we go?” Lanie was lovely in her little bride’s maid dress. She was so excited to be my maid of honor, although Emma, as a bride’s maid, had to help her with the duties. Not that we went all out like we had for the first wedding. But she’d had a little shower for us.

  “Soon baby.”

  “How come Noah gets to be up with daddy?” she asked.

  I peeked up at them. No one wore a suit like Brayden. If we did lose all our money, he could make a fortune as a suit model. Next to him, Noah stood, tugging at the tie. Brayden smiled at him and bent over to say something.

  “Because he’s the best man,” Emma said, handing me a necklace. “Your dad gave this me to give to you. It’s the something old and borrowed.”

  I took my mother’s pearls that I’d worn on my first wedding day and I’d wear again today so my mother could be with us. The only difference was that my father wasn’t walking me down the aisle.

  “I can’t give you away, you’re already his. Besides, you’re your own woman.” Instead, he was sitting in the front row, pointing toward a butterfly to show Noah.

  “Ready?” Emma asked, as she positioned Nina, who I chose as another bride’s maid, in front of her.

  “More than ready.”

  She smiled at me. “I’m so happy for you, Terra.”

  It had to be bittersweet for her. I’d survived cancer and I had the love of my life with me. Emma lost her love to cancer. It didn’t seem fair, and because I knew that life could sometimes be a crap shoot, I’d savor every moment of it.

  “Okay sweetie, I’m going up first, then as the special maid of honor, you follow me.” Emma said to Lanie.

  “I remember.”

  Emma laughed. “Let’s go then.”

  Emma and Nina made their way up toward the gazebo with Lanie following. I stepped onto the path and looked directly at Brayden. His gaze caught mine, and in them I saw all the love for me that was flowing through me for him. It had been the same the first time, but this time was so much more poignant.

  When I reached him, I handed my bouquet to Lanie.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he said.

  I leaned closer. “You’re too handsome for your own good. All I can think about is getting you out of that suit.”

  He snickered and whispered in my ear. “Careful. I don’t want a hard on in our new wedding pictures.”

  The minister proceeded with the ceremony as Brayden and I reconfirmed our love and devotion in front of our children, my father, Emma, and other friends. Even Brayden’s friend Bob was there along with several others from his cancer group.

  This time we made our own vows. Another way this wedding was so much deeper than the first one.

  “Terra, you are my life,” Brayden started. “My world begins and ends with you.”

  There was an audible “aww” from our guests. I had to agree. Brayden could be terribly romantic.

  “You’ve given me two beautiful children. You’ve forgiven my faults. I thank God every day when I wake up and you’re there next to me. I vow to always love and cherish you. I promise, you’ll never have another day feeling like you’re not first in my life.”

  My heart rolled in my chest. Like me, he would make sure that our marriage stayed strong and connected.

  The minister nodded to me that it was my turn.

  “Brayden, there are no words to express my love. You’re an amazing man and I’m so grateful that you chose me to live this amazing life with you. You’ve seen me in my darkest moments, nursed me during my sickest, and through it all, loved me unconditionally. I promise I’ll never take you and your love for granted again. I plan to spend every day of my life making sure you know I love you.”

  He smiled and leaned in to kiss me.

  “You’re jumping the gun, son,” the minister said.

  “I don’t care,” Brayden responded.

  I didn’t either. I gripped his tie and pulled him to me for a kiss.

  “Oh God, there they go again,” Lanie’s voice bellowed.

  “Here we go again,” Brayden murmured against my lips. “Again and forever.”

  We had a small reception, and then Brayden and I went to the Four Seasons Hotel to spend our honeymoon while the kids spent the night with Emma and Nina. Tomorrow, he and I would fly with the kids to Southern California where we planned to spend a week at Disneyland. We figured it wasn’t just our marriage that we were celebrating, but also our family. What better place to celebrate family than at the happiest place on earth?

  At our suite, Brayden opened the door and then picked me up. “We’re here, Mrs. Burrow.”

  I kissed him. “This is so much better than the first time.”

  “Is it?” He set me down and cupped my face. “It’s fuller, isn’t it. Knowing now what we know.”

  “Yes, that’s it. Fuller. Deeper.”

  “Are you hungry?” he asked. We had food at the reception, but he and I were so busy with guests that we hadn’t eaten. Even so, I wasn’t hungry. At least not for food.

  I reached up and undid his tie. “I’m thinking I should be nearly naked by now. The fact I’m not makes me wonder if you’re into me.”

  He tugged me close. His growing erection pressed against my cleft. “I’m trying to be a gentleman.”

  He was taking care of me. Sometimes he hovered too much and often was a bit like a mother. It was annoying and yet, I knew where it came from, so I let it go.

  I cupped him. “Fuck me Brayden.”

  He growled. “I think I just came in my pants.”

  “Let’s find out.”

  Together we undressed, until finally, naked, flesh to flesh we were on the bed.

  “Do you remember the first time we made love?” he asked, as he looked at me with those intense, loving blue eyes.

  “Yes. It was in my office.”

  “The first time, in a bed,” he clarified.

  “That was at your apartment.” Those first weeks were etched in my brain as they were so magical. Much like our life together since I was given a clean bill of health.

  “It was the first time we were fully naked, remember?”

  I hadn’t thought of that, but he was right. When we’d had sex at work, our clothes were still somewhat on.

  “I’d been dying to see your body,” he said, running his hand down my belly to the nest of curls between my thighs.

  “Had you?” I arched, wanting his fingers to touch my clit. It was aching and throbbing already. “Were you happy with what you saw?”

  “Very.” His lips trailed along my collarbone, and down between my breasts.

  The
biggest challenge we’d had after my mastectomy, not counting the news the cancer wasn’t gone the first time, was the loss of breast sensitivity. I’d cried the first time we made love after the surgery and didn’t feel arousal when he touched them.

  Ever since then, he usually ignored them.

  “Don’t you like them?” I’d once asked him.

  “Sure, but what I like most is to make you happy. If my touching them doesn’t make you wet, I won’t touch them. Especially if it actually makes you upset.”

  It was a reminder at what a wonderful man he was that he could forgo his instinct to touch my breasts.

  On his birthday, I encouraged him to fuck them, knowing it was a fantasy of his. He’d been reluctant, but like he wanted to make sure I was happy in bed, I wanted to make him happy too. While I didn’t feel him on my breasts, I was turned on by watching his dick slide between them, so it was a win-win.

  This time he bypassed my breasts as he strew kisses down my belly.

  “Your body was made for me. Did you know? You were destined to be mine.”

  I laughed. God he could say the most wonderful things that made me feel like the center of the universe. “I wonder if it’s the other way around. You were made for me.”

  He lifted his head. “Made for each other.”

  “Yes.”

  He continued to look up at me. “Are you happy, Terra?”

  I couldn’t imagine why he was asking. It had to be obvious. “I’m so happy. The happiest.”

  He leaned down and kissed my belly again. “Good. Can I make you happier?”

  “You can make me come, which would make me happy. But in life in general, I’m already exceedingly happy.”

  He pushed my legs open, bending them at the knee and forcing them wider, opening me to him. He brushed kisses along my inner thigh, making me quiver.

  “Are you happy, Brayden?”

  He lifted his head again. “I couldn’t be happier. You’re everything.”

  I reached down and pressed my hand to his cheek. “I love you.”

  He grinned. “My heart does cartwheels every time you say that.”

  “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

  He kissed the tip of my clit softly. “Let me show you how much I love you.” He ran his tongue through my folds. I gasped and arched at the lovely sensation of his hot, wet tongue on me.

  Brayden had an amazing mouth, and while I missed all the things it could do to my breasts, he made up for it in how he ate me. His tongue was everywhere; in me, on me, flicking my clit, it made me mad with need. My hips gyrated as pleasure coiled tighter and tighter.

  “Yes…oh yes…don’t stop…”

  His fingers opened my pussy wider, and he shoved his tongue inside me deeper.

  I whimpered. “Oh!”

  As his tongue fucked me, his finger rubbed my clit.

  “I’m there…oh God…” I reached down and held his head to my pussy to prevent him from stopping. Pleasure rocketed through me, lifting my hips from the bed as I moved with his mouth to draw out my orgasm. “So good…so good…”

  I wasn’t down from my high, when, in a swift move, he was over me, filling me with his cock. I gasped at the delicious intrusion.

  “Fuck,” he groaned as he lay still over me, his dick pulsing inside me.

  I wrapped my arms and legs around him. This moment, when he was inside me, was the most amazing feeling.

  “I love to feel your pussy massaging my dick.”

  He was right. My pussy was still contracting and pulsing as he lay seeped inside me.

  “I want you to come again. Take me over with you.”

  Before cancer, he would make that happen by sucking my breasts as he fucked me, but since I couldn’t feel that anymore, he’d become more creative.

  He pushed back on his heels, opening his thighs and gripping my hips as he pulled my pussy over his dick again. His thumb began to brush gently over my clit.

  “Do you know how beautiful you are when you come?” His intense blue eyes stared down at me.

  “No.”

  “You are.”

  “I want to watch you come,” I said, knowing it was sexy as hell.

  “You have to come first. I want your pussy to take me to heaven.” He moved then, withdrawing and sliding in.

  It felt fantastic the way his dick filled me. I could feel each ridge of him as he moved in and out.

  He groaned. “You feel so fucking good, Terra.” He picked up the pace, gripping my hips with both hands, and thrusting harder.

  I reached my hands overhead to keep my head from being shoved into the headboard. My breath was coming in harsh gasps as he pushed me up and up again until I was teetering on the edge.

  “Are you there yet?” his voice was strained.

  “So close…oh God…Brayden…”

  He dropped forward, laying over me. He gripped my hands over my head and kissed me hard as his hips charged on, his dick pistoning in and out of me.

  “Look at me, baby,” he rasped. “Look at me when you come.”

  I worked to open my eyes, but it was hard because the pleasure was so good, so intense. But when my gaze met his, an arc of electricity zapped, and on his next thrust, I was soaring. I couldn’t maintain eye contact, as the wave of pleasure arched my body and stole my breath.

  “Yes…fuck yes,” he growled.

  The tightness in his voice told me he was there too. Wanting to watch him come, I forced my eyes open. His expression was a mixture of pleasure and pain.

  His fingers flexed and then gripped my hands harder. Then he yelled out and his hips thrust hard and warmth filled my womb.

  “More…fill me more…” I said, lost in his pleasure.

  He groaned again, withdrawing and thrusting, ejecting more of his seed inside me. He continued to thrust and grind, and it caught me off guard when I was coming again.

  “Oh Jesus,” he moaned as my body convulsed around his again. “Baby…yes baby…”

  Our bodies continue to move together, slowing, yet still rocking, still pulsing even as we lay quietly catching our breaths.

  Finally, he lifted his head and kissed me. It was slow and sweet, filled with love. I poured every bit of love I had for him back in that kiss.

  Ten years ago, we’d made love on our honeymoon. It was beautiful and filled with the promise of a happily ever after. But somehow, I’d lost sight of that.

  This time, I vowed I would never forget. I’d been given a second chance in life and in my marriage. I wasn’t ever going to let a day go by that I didn’t show gratitude for both.

  Starting now. “I love you, Brayden.”

  He lifted his head and smiled like I’d given him a gift. It was a gift I’d give him every day for the rest of my life.

  Epilogue

  Terra – Six Months Later

  I walked into the house after picking up the kids from school feeling a little stunned at the news I got while at my doctor’s appointment that afternoon.

  “I’m going to check George and Steven,” Noah said running off toward his room.

  “I’m hungry, mommy,” Lanie said, tossing her backpack down.

  “The troops are back,” Brayden said entering the kitchen. “Is that where the backpack goes, Lane?”

  Lanie sighed. “I’m tired, daddy.”

  “Put the pack away and you can take a nap.”

  She rolled her eyes, putting her backpack on the table where she’d do her homework later. “I’m going to feed Jack,” she said of her shrimp, named after Jacques from the movie, Finding Nemo.

  He smiled wide, but it faltered when he saw me. “Is something wrong?”

  “Ah…”

  “Mommy?” Noah rushed into the kitchen, his face filled with panic. “George is upside down and not swimming.”

  “Uh oh,” Brayden said. I could see he was torn between checking in with me and dealing with Noah and his probably dead fish.

  “Go deal with George,” I said. “I�
��ll make a snack for them.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes. We can talk later.” Later would be better. We had a lot to process and it shouldn’t be done in front of the kids.

  Since Brayden sold the business and was home pretty much full time, I learned that it was definitely easier to parent with two people than alone. I’d been afraid that having Brayden at home most of the time would eventually get old. Especially for him. But the truth was, life was calmer. He still occasionally consulted with the business, but mostly he worked at home on the foundation, which I helped him with. He was involved with the kids, usually getting them up, while I did the pick-up. He attended their sports practices and events.

  A month ago, he was with me when I had my next post-cancer check-up. At that time, all was well and we were able to breathe a sigh of relief until the next visit. All in all, life was good. No, it was wonderful. Nearly perfect.

  Today, was a regular day, except of course, my doctors visit and the loss of George. Dealing with George’s death was difficult under normal circumstances, but having come through the health scare of a lifetime, I was reminded at how much loss hurts.

  Later in the evening, when the kids were doing homework, I saw Brayden staring off.

  “Is everything okay?” I asked him, rubbing my hand over his shoulder.

  “That fish. It makes me think of…” He didn’t finish his sentence. He didn’t have too. I gave him a hug, letting him feel that I was here.

  “No kissing,” Lanie yelled at us.

  That evening, Brayden spent a little extra time with Noah when it was time for bed. When he finished, he found me looking out the window as I processed what I had to tell him.

  “Terra?” His warm, firm hands rested on my shoulders. “What’s going on?”

  I turned to look at him. “I went to the doctor today.”

  His breath hitched. “What’s wrong? Is the cancer back? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  I hated to see the panic in his face. “It’s not cancer.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What is it? A tumor?”