Finding Redemption

by Emilia Finn

  “Anyway, I spent the next year sleeping with Jon sometimes, and running home in tears when he’d hook up with other women.”

  “I don’t believe he hooked up with others,” Iz continues her stubborn tirade. “I know you told us he does, but I don’t believe you. And I don’t believe you’ve hooked up with others either. You said you did but I think you’re full of shit. A woman in love doesn’t do that.”

  I smile at the floor. “Well I can’t speak for Jon,” my eyes snap to Tina’s as I think of Sonia, though there’s a niggling tickle in the back of my mind that Sonia isn’t what I thought it was – “but no, I haven’t hooked up with anyone else. I lied to you all when I said that.”

  “Mmhmm.” Iz does her smug ‘I told you so’ eyes and I roll mine.

  “So anyway, I’ve been cheating on you, Kit. I’ve had a best friend for two years and I never told you.”

  “I still can’t see it,” Kit murmurs. “I mean, we all knew something was going on. We knew you were into each other. We all saw the way you’d touch, or not touch when you’re mad at each other. We all knew, but we left you alone, mostly.” She smiles. “Well, we only teased you when you teased us. You’ve had your fun teasing each of us for years. But I didn’t realize it was more than that.” Kit’s eyes narrow. “Best friends? Like, does he know you the way I know you?”

  I nod. “Pretty much. We spent that first six months hanging out. We didn’t have sex, we just hung out. We went to the movies, we stayed and had takeout. That’s a lot of time to talk.”

  “Does he know about Todd?”

  “Who the hell is Todd?” Iz demands, almost like a jealous lover would.

  I smile at Iz being her brother’s proxy in his absence. “He’s my ex. He was a piece of shit, but yeah, Jon knows about Todd. Actually,” I smile again. “I told Jon about Todd that first night we met.”

  “Really?” Kit smiles. “That’s surprising.”

  “Yeah, I dunno.” I shrug my shoulder even as I think about the Jon and Casey from that first night. “Somehow he always got me to talk… except the baby thing.”

  “Yeah.” Kit’s smile disappears. “Except the baby thing. Are you okay?”

  “Honestly? No, I’m not.” I feel another hot tear escape. “I’m heartbroken because I can’t have what you guys have. And even if Jon doesn’t want babies, and I only want Jon, therefore it’s redundant, I still want what you have. I’m heartbroken that neither the man I love, nor my body want what I want.”

  “You could have IVF or something like that,” Tina provides. “There are lots of ways around this.”

  “Yeah, but Jon doesn’t want that anyway. He doesn’t want kids or marriage--” I stop on a groan as my fogged and hungover brain remembers the whole point for this meeting. “There’s more.”

  “What more?” Izzy demands as the energy in the room changes. I watch as Bean grabs onto Tina’s fingers and they pull each other till Bean is standing wobbly on her fat legs. She’s getting so big already.

  “What more, Casey Irvine?” Kit’s brows pull in stubbornly. “What’s the rest?”

  “Umm.” I finger the folded certificate behind my back. “Something happened last night. Something big.”

  “You and Jon hooked up again.” Tina nods. “We know. I think we all saw you idiots stumbling down the hall, you were noisy as hell.”

  I feel the blood drain from my face. “You did?”

  “Yeah, I know I heard you… I, we, uh…” Tina stumbles awkwardly. “I was still awake.”

  “You were still celebrating your marriage?” Izzy asks with a dirty smirk. “I know. We heard you too.”

  “No!”

  “Yes!” Kit laughs.

  I can honestly say I didn’t hear a thing, but I doubt my fuzzy memory is all that reliable at the moment.

  “What happened?” Tina asks shortly, turning the attention away from her noisy sex life and back onto me.

  I attempt one last time to take my ring off behind my back, but it won’t budge. Kit’s eyes narrow, then they go wide like I’ve ever seen before. “What do you have behind your back?”

  “Nothing?”

  “Don’t you lie to me. You’re standing in front of a mirror, dumbass! Oh my god!” Kit jumps up quickly. She snatches my arm and takes my left hand in hers.

  Iz and Tina jump up too, then Iz snatches the paper I dropped. She unfolds it hastily then she lets out a squeak as her face pales. “You got married?”

  “You got married?” Kit shouts and I slap my hand down over her mouth.

  “Can you shut up?”

  “You got married?” she murmurs against my palm.

  “Tink!” Tina lets out on a breath. “What did you do?”

  I let Kit go and let my arm drop to my side. “I don’t know,” I groan. “I woke up like this.”

  “The certificate says your name. Jon’s name. Your signatures,” Iz reads.

  “Thank you, Captain Obvious. Now I have to figure out how to get a divorce before Jon finds out.”

  “What do you mean before he finds out? He signed the damn certificate,” Iz snaps. “I’m pretty sure he knows.”

  “Well, I just mean, I legitimately don’t remember it happening.” Though I scrunch my eyes closed at the memories as they trickle back. I remember the goats now, and the British accent. I remember Darth Vader. Oh god. “I just hoped maybe he has no recollection either.”

  “Tink, he’s twice your size. He’d have needed a lot more alcohol than you to reach that same blackout stage.”

  “Just roll with it, okay! You need to get me out of here and into a lawyer’s office immediately.”

  “No.” Tina says smugly. “You need to go to breakfast.”

  “You’re out of your damn mind!”

  “No,” she laughs. “I’m not. Let’s roll with the blackout theory. Breakfast will be fine, then when we get home we’ll fix this. Don’t run out right now, you’ll just upset Nell and Evie. I know Evie wanted to have pancakes with you today.”

  I groan. “Why does everyone use Evie against me?”

  “Because it works. Come down to breakfast. We promise we won’t bring it up. We won’t spill the beans to your husband.”

  I groan as the girls cackle at my expense. “You’re all a bunch of jerks.”

  Twenty Eight

  Jon

  Beans. Spilled.

  I push Bobby off me as he shoves me into the elevator. He waits for the doors to close us in before he speaks.

  “What the hell is going on?”

  I concentrate on my breathing. I concentrate on not belting all these fuckers as they stare at me in the four walled mirrors of the lift. They’re everywhere and my hung-over ass can’t handle it.

  I need to see her. Right now. Right this second.

  She ran and she hid from me. This is bad.

  “What did you do to her?” Jim asks with a smug smile as he leans against the hand rails attached to the lift walls. “Pretty good effort if you had her hiding in her room so early in the morning.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Jim.”

  “No seriously,” he grins as he lifts and drops on the balls of his feet. “I wanna know. You’re really good at pissing her off. I wanna know what not to do. You could probably write a book on this shit.”

  “Jim--”

  “Jim.” Aiden grumbles. “Shut up. Jon, you good?”

  “No!” I snap at him. “I’m not good. I need to go back and see her.” I need to know why my wife ran.

  I mean, I get it. She’s a runner. But fuck! I’m not letting history repeat itself. This is it, this is our chance. “I need to go back up.”

  “No,” Bobby shakes his head. “Kit told me she would see her. You’re not invited.”

  I step forward and shove him against the wall. “Like fuck I’m not invited. She’s mine!”

  Bobby’s eyes flare wide. “Yours? She’s your one night stand that you just happen to keep revisiting. You have no rights to her.”

 
“Like fuck I don’t!” She’s my wife!

  “You need to cool your shit.” Aiden slams his hand down on my shoulder. “Shouting like a spoiled brat ain’t gonna get you anywhere.”

  “Spoiled brat, my ass!”

  The lift doors ding open and an elderly couple eyes the four of us warily. I still have my hand on Bobby’s shoulder as I pin him to the wall, and Aiden still has his hand on my shoulder as he holds me down. Jimmy is still lounging around like an asshole.

  I let Bobby go with a huff, then Aiden pulls me to the back of the lift to stand between him and Jim to make room for the couple.

  They’re probably wondering if they’re going to get caught up in an all-out brawl between four, two hundred pound idiot muscle head fighters.

  “Where’s Jack?”

  I don’t know why my mind stopped on him, but it’s the only thing I can think of to take my mind from Casey as the old folks enter the lift and turn their backs to us.

  “He’s with Mom,” Bobby answers. “Helping her with Bug.”

  “Where’s Bean?”

  His smug ass smiles. “She’s with Iz. Relax.”

  We lower the rest of the floors with no more stops, then the six of us flood from the lift and walk toward the buffet section. “Have some breakfast and tell us your troubles, Jon.”

  “Fuck you, Jim.”

  “Damn,” Bobby laughs. “Jon Fart is salty today!”

  “Fuck you, Peacock. I’ll kick your ass if you want.”

  “Maybe tomorrow. We’ll be back in the gym then we’ll see how well your hung-over ass rolls.”

  “Bobby,” Aiden snaps. “Stop teasing him. Jon, it’s your fault I’m not with my wife right now so shut your pie hole.”

  “My fault?”

  “Yeah, she’s with Tink because Tink is pissed with your stupid ass, so now the girls have gone into lockdown and they’re probably upstairs on a man-hating bitching rampage. If I cop shit from this, I’m gonna kick your ass.”

  “I didn’t do anything wrong.” Except I married her.

  “Whether you did something or not, she’s hiding from you, now all the girls have gone incommunicado and our buffet breakfast has become sausage only. Which makes you an asshole.”

  “Here come Mom and Jack,” Jim murmurs, smugness forgotten as he looks over my shoulder. “Bottle it up or Mom will smack your ear for swearing.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Dude.” Bobby grumbles just as I feel the sting of a slap on the back of my head.

  “Don’t cuss like that. Evie heard you, dummy.”

  “Dummy.” Evie giggles as she jumps from Jack’s arms to Aiden’s and he snuggles her to his chest.

  “Hey Smalls.”

  “Hey Biggie. I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, baby,” Aiden murmurs as he turns and we all follow him to our reserved table. “Did you have fun with Gramma?”

  “Yeah.” Evie’s tight curls bounce with her excitement. “And Bean too. And Unca Jack. Where’s Mommy?”

  Aiden’s eyes shoot to mine. “She’s with Aunty Tink, cause dummy over here made her mad.”

  “Jon,” Evie giggles so sweetly I actually forget my troubles for a minute and smile back. “You’re so silly.”

  I pretend to glare at the toddler. “That’s Uncle Jon to you, young lady. Don’t disrespect me.” I wink at her and pretend to hit her shoulder with my balled fist.

  “The girls were good for you, Mom?” Jim looks up, speaking to Nell as she sits down with a cup of tea.

  “They were fine. They both slept perfect. Hardly heard a peep.”

  “I heard plenty of peeps,” Jack grumbles, though he’s attempting to hide his wicked grin from Nell.

  She shakes her head and hits his arm. She’s well versed in asshole teen boys. “Don’t be rude, Jack. Be tactful and they may return the favor one day.”

  “Tactful?” Jack asks incredulously. “I don’t think your sons have a single tactful bone in their bodies. Combined!”

  Nell’s smile pulls up at the side. “Be that as it may, we don’t bring up the fact we could hear drunk couples stumbling down the hall last night. It’s rude.”

  Jack scoffs as my chest beats triple time. “What are you talking about?”

  Nell looks up from her tea with a smug grin on her face. “Nothing, dear. Oh look, here comes your bride.”

  “What?” My eyes snap up to find the girls walking toward us. Case is with them, wearing her regular weekend relaxation clothes, as in sexy tight jeans and heels, and beautifully made up eyes, though the makeup can’t hide the ghostly white face.

  Nell’s mischievous eyes leave mine and land on Aiden’s. “Aiden, honey. How does it feel to be a married man?”

  “It’s so good, Mama.” Aiden stands and carries Evie across the large dining room to meet the girls. He takes Tina in his arms even has he keeps hold of Evie, and he kisses his wife stupid. He pulls away, leaving her with a bright blush as she catches her balance again. My attention is immediately drawn to Casey’s as she watches me watch her.

  She looks terrified.

  Maybe I should have told her to write herself a letter last night too. I didn’t end up needing mine, but maybe if she’d written one for herself, she wouldn’t look so scared right now.

  I’m stuck in my seat as I watch them approach us, as Kit walks to Bobby, as her tiny baby bump pokes out of her tight tank, then as Jimmy passes Bean from Iz to Nell, then he bends my baby sister upside down and swallows her tongue. I want to kill the fucker. I swear he does it to piss me off. Asshole.

  Nelly settles Bean on her lap with a smug smile then she goes back to sipping her tea. “Good morning, ladies. Feeling rested?”

  Kit sits down in Bobby’s lap as she nods. “I’m fresh as a daisy.”

  “Me too.” Izzy laughs as Jim grabs at her ass and pulls her in to his lap.

  Tina sits down in the chair beside Aiden’s; because he’s not quite the show pony that his brothers are, but he pulls her chair close and throws his arm over her shoulder as he snuggles Evie on his lap. “I’m a little fuzzy,” Tina admits as she rubs her thumb over her forehead. She grabs the glass of water on the table and guzzles half in one go. “I think I need some juice.”

  “I got it.” Casey jumps up, bumping the table with her thighs and all the pre-set cutlery and glassware tinkles together. “I’ll get you some juice, Tina.”

  We all watch as she walks away, making a beeline for the coffee section, then I look back at everyone as they all stare at me. “What?”

  Kit’s lips fight against a giant grin. “Have a good night, Jon?”

  I look from Kit’s knowing eyes to Iz and Tina’s, then I look at the guy’s. They’re clueless, but the girls…

  “Yeah.” I try to stop the triumphant smile but it tears across my face unchecked. “I really did.”

  Sissy watches me for a moment. “You got a spotty memory like Tink, or you good?”

  “Case doesn’t remember her night?”

  Kit shrugs. “She’s spotty. What about you?”

  My smile remains. “I remember everything.”

  “And yet you’re smiling.”

  “Yeah.” I meet Kit’s glaring challenge. “I am.”

  I turn in the direction Casey took off, I want to see her again, I want her to look at me and meet my smile with her own, but I’m standing and striding across the room before my brain catches up to my temper and jealousy. I’m her Leo. I’ll never stop being her Leo, and right now there’s a hipster looking fucker standing over her, blocking her movements as she tries to make coffee.

  What’s with her attracting all the artsy dudes? I’m nothing like them. I bet none of them have work roughened hands like I do.

  “Are you staying in this hotel?”

  Fuckface’s finger strokes her shoulder from ball to collarbone, and I snap my hand down over his and tear it away. “I’ll thank you to take your hand off my wife.” My voice comes out on a growl and Casey jumps with a squeak when she h
ears me.

  “Did he just Jamie Fraser her?”

  I turn to find my whole family only feet away from my back, and Izzy’s smile bigger than I think I’ve ever seen it. The other girl’s smiles match. “You totally just Jamie Frasered her.”

  Hipster wanker takes off in my distraction, but I can’t move past my sister’s words. “Who the fuck is Jamie Fraser?”

  Casey’s hand comes down softly on my arm. “No, Leo, stop--”

  “Who. Is. Jamie. Fraser?”

  Kit’s hand comes up over her mouth as she stifles a laugh. Her ability to find humor in this has my blood boiling. “Jamie Fraser is a strapping young Scotsman. He might even be taller then you, Jon. And he rides horses. And he fights. Hell, he might even be the whole package.”

  Bobby spins kit in his arms as his brows pull down tight. “How do you know that dude? Where does he fight?”

  Tina’s laughter bubbles out. “He has really nice hair too. All long and grabbable.”

  My eyes flick from hers to Aiden’s, expecting him to do something about this shit, but he shrugs and pulls Tina under his arm. “I know who Jamie Fraser is. We’re okay.”

  “This doesn’t bother you?” Bobby asks, incensed.

  Aiden grins. “No. Like I said, we’re okay.”

  “Did you tell him to get his hands off your wife?” Jimmy asks suspiciously. “Is that like, a new term of endearment? Or maybe a new word trend, like yolo or fleek?”

  “Yolo?” Nell asks, but she goes ignored as Casey squeezes my arm.

  I look down into her eyes as she shakes her head minutely. “Don’t.”

  I look at everyone, at the guy’s with the confused faces and the girls with the smug grins, then I turn my back to them and block them out. I take Casey’s arms in my hands as she looks up at me. “Why not?”

  “Jon.” She shakes her head again as her voice shakes. “Don’t.”

  “Do you remember?”

  “We can’t do this, Jon. I’ll fix it.”

  Fix it? “Do you remember?”

  “I’m…” She shakes her head and I shake her arms. “Yeah, I do. It’s coming back so fast it hurts.”