Riding Dirty on I-95

by Nikki Turner

  “Take care of the baby and remember I love you,” she said in between breaths. She wanted Cleezy to know that it didn't matter what her destiny was, if she lived or if she died. It was forever for them. She would always be in his heart, and he was everything that she needed and longed for. “Until …”

  “Baby don't talk.” He interrupted her as he rubbed her hand as he tried to keep his eyes on the road. He didn't want to hear those words from Mercy, “until death do us part,” because those words, the same words Paula had uttered to him before she took her last breath, seemed to be a curse to him.

  Cleezy knew there wasn't much time. She had been hit by bullets meant for him. They were no. 22 bullets; they were assassin's bullets.

  “Hold on, baby. Please, please hold on. I'm begging you,” Cleezy pleaded as tears ran down his face. “Deonie,” he called out while glancing to the back of the car.

  “Huh?” she said, her little voice trembling.

  “Stay down. You okay?”

  “Yes, but what about Auntie?”

  “She's going to be okay.”

  “Yes, baby. I'm okay” Mercy said in a weak tone. “I love you. Auntie loves you.”

  Cleezy pulled up to the emergency room, screaming for the doctors. Two attendants rushed out and took Mercy away. While the doctors fought for Mercy's life, Cleezy paced the hallway. His mother had not heard from or seen Cleezy since he'd found out the truth about her. But bad news travels fast in the hood, and as soon as Lolly found out what happened, she came to his side to comfort him.

  But her thoughts were only for herself, as usual. I know he doesn't want me here, but I feel I should be here, Lolly thought as she stood there watching Cleezy pace back and forth. Plus it looks good. I've never seen him love anything or anyone, not even his money, like he loves this girl. So I'm going to sit here as long as it takes. If she dies, I'll stick around and be the supportive mother and can reestablish our relationship. And with her being gone, he'll feel bad and want to draw closer to me. When he does, it will put me closer to his money again. Times sure have been hard without him, I know that much. And if she makes it, I'll be at her bedside waiting on her hand and foot. He'll see that I really care, and that will get me back into his good graces.

  Pearl, Mercy's mother, also showed up. When she heard what happened, she fell to her knees and cried, begging God to have mercy because she had spent so many years of her life taking her daughter's life for granted.

  “God, please forgive me,” she prayed. “God, please don't take her away from me. Don't punish me. I will never be able to live with myself if I can't make the relationship right with her. God, take me instead.” She began to whimper silently.

  Nayshawn was down in the hospital lobby with Cleezy's cell phone, calling around town to find out who was responsible for the shooting. He wasn't supposed to be using the cell phone at the hospital, but with that look of murder written across his face and in his eyes, none of the hospital staff dared say a word to him. He hung up the phone and then decided to go outside and take a smoke. He exited out of the automatic doors, lit, and took a pull off of his Black and Mild.

  Whoever the fuck did that shit is going to fucking die, Nayshawn thought as he took another pull. They say this nigga Cleezy is supposed to be a stone-cold killer. This nigga is going to have to kill these niggas or be killed. That's how it's going to go down. Punks thought he was getting soft 'cause he was scaling back his business. They didn't know shit. Now they got to deal with both of us crazy motherfuckas.

  Zurri was nowhere to be found, but Chrissie was there in the chapel praying. God, I know for years my dear friend ran up and down I-95 carrying them packs and breaking the law, but she has finally gotten herself together, and now things are coming together for her. Please don't let her die. God, I promise I will give you my soul and my heart. I will never sleep with another married man. God, right here and now I give you my life. I will dedicate my life to you, my God. I feel this was a wake-up call for me and the lifestyle I have been living. But please don't take her. If it meant that I never get another dollar from another man, I'll sacrifice for Mercy and her baby to live. Please, God, please.

  Although Ms. Pat wanted someone to take Deonie home, De-onie refused to go, so Ms. Pat told her that she would just have her daughter take her down to the cafeteria to get something to eat. Deonie was young, but she knew what was going on as her own thoughts filled her head.

  I sure hope that God lets my auntie Mercy live, little Deonie thought. If God takes her away, I am doomed. My auntie is all I got. My momma, all she wants to do is rip and run the streets, the streets that Auntie promised that over her dead body will I end up in. I am trying to walk slow, dragging my feet, taking my time so I can hear what the doctors are saying or see how their faces look, but Ms. Pat's daughter Teisha keeps pulling me along My aunt said that God only hears fools' and babies' prayers, so therefore, God, I hope you are listening. Please keep my auntie in your care. She promised me that my life would not be anything like hers. I believed her, but if she dies, my life will crumble. I can feel my heart breaking now. I'm only ten years old. I've learned so much from listening and watching her that I know she has so much more for me to learn. I know that my auntie always said, “You never know what hand God is going to deal you and never question God, ” but God, I'm begging. I'm pleading with you to please spare my auntie's life, if not for her or her baby's sake, then for me.

  Cleezy's thoughts were of revenge. If it take everything in me, I swear to God I am going to get the motherfuckers who did this shit to Mercy and our baby. I can't believe this shit. Motherfuckers gonna die around this town. Richtown is about to be Redtown, all the blood that's about to be shed. Motherfuckers' mommas, daddies, grannies, kids is going to die. Motherfuckers gonna pay. Even if it means my life, I don't give a fuck.

  Every time the nurse walked by, everyone looked at her trying their damnedest to read the look on her face. Cleezy looked like he was about to grab the nurse and take her hostage to get information from her. After Ms. Pat told him that he was frightening the nurse, he decided to go smoke a cigarette.

  As Cleezy left the building the room continued to be filled with prayer, hopes, and wishes that everything would be all right. Two women had been sitting in the waiting room for the last hour. Everyone assumed they were waiting on loved ones to come out of surgery, but then one of them said to Pearl, “So you are Mercy's estranged mother?”

  Pearl acted as if she didn't hear her, but Lolly gave the lady an ugly look. “And you are?” she asked in a nasty tone.

  “I am Wanda Juve, and I work for Channel Six, Insider, and we are covering the story of Mercy—”

  And before she could get it out, Chrissie had slapped the cowboy shit out of her. “Get out of here. You fucking people are out of control.”

  The woman took the pimp slap like a champ and headed to the door, but the other lady began to rattle off questions as they left. “Who could want to kill your daughter? Does she have a lot of enemies? Who will the profits of Mercy's movies go to if Mercy dies? Are there any more screenplays she has finished that no one has seen?”

  CHAPTER 36

  Man to Man

  It had only been several hours since the doctor informed Cleezy that it would be at least twelve hours before Mercy was out of surgery. He never did promise that she would come out of it alive.

  Since then Cleezy had tried getting into the operating room three times. He needed to see her. He was fully aware that this might be his last chance to see his soul mate alive. He needed and wanted to be by Mercy's side. On the third attempt a security guard told him if he didn't calm down, the hospital would be forced to call the police and have him removed. Cleezy really didn't give a fuck if they called the fuckin' National Guard, but he didn't want to distract the doctors from doing their jobs. Saving Mercy's life.

  He needed some fresh air again so that he would be able to think straight. He and everybody in that waiting room knew he had to regain his
composure if he was gonna be of any help to Mercy. Before leaving, Cleezy gave the guard a mean look. He knew the toy cop was just doing his job, but Cleezy also knew that if he ever ran into the rent-a-cop outside of the hospital it would take more willpower than he possessed to keep from tearing into his ass. The guard would have to pay for keeping him away from Mercy and his unborn child. It might cost him a little, it might cost him a lot, but it was going to cost him and he was going to pay every iron dime.

  Cleezy walked into the parking deck of the hospital, where he spotted Nayshawn on the phone, smoking weed.

  “You probably need this.” Nayshawn handed Cleezy the lit blunt. “How's Mercy?” Cleezy inhaled the high-powered smoke before answering.

  “It's bad. Doctors ain't sayin' shit, but it's real bad.” Neither of them spoke for a minute. Both men were thinking of fond moments they'd shared with Mercy in the past. Cleezy broke the silence first.

  “Have you heard anything?” Cleezy probed. “I just can't sit round like this and do nothin'. Somebody gotta pay” That's exactly what Nayshawn needed to hear. Nayshawn didn't really know Cleezy, but he'd heard, while incarcerated, that the nigga took care of his business. It was time to find out for himself.

  “I heard you had put money out on the streets but was coming up with lint. But I managed to get the names of the two chumps that pulled the trigger. They go by Lil' Ali and Baby Hova.”

  “I never heard of them.” Cleezy had a puzzled look on his face.

  “I didn't think you would've. They both are 'bout twelve or thirteen years old, lil' wil'-ass twins from the Westend. They supposed to be Bloods or some shit.”

  “Bloods!” Cleezy echoed.

  “Word is,” Nayshawn said, “it was a red-light special on you. Another OG Blood red-lighted you for death.”

  “Do you know who place the hit?” Cleezy had done so much wild shit it could've been anyone.

  “Naw, not yet. But the two that tried to execute you are now in hiding. They were just tryin' to make a name like their pops had.” Nayshawn saw a murderous glare appear in Cleezy's eyes.

  “Well, they 'bout to get their names in the obituaries,” Cleezy said in a death tone. “I'm goin' to kill two people in both their family every other day, until they come out of hiding. If I run out of family members, then I'll start with friends of the family.” Cleezy took another toke of the blunt filled with hydro and exhaled. “They just made the biggest mistake of their lives.”

  “I feel ya!” Nayshawn said, never looking at Cleezy. “I know their momma name is this ho name Tressa that used to live 'round Eastgate Village, and their pops was this crazy-ass motherfucker named Lucky.”

  CHAPTER 37

  The News

  The family gathered around to hear what the doctors had to say. Judging by all Mercy's blood on their smocks the doctors looked like they had been operating on soldiers in Iraq instead of Mercy.

  “We've done all we can do,” one doctor said, and Pearl screamed at the top of her lungs, “NooooW!”

  The doctor put his hand up to try to get Pearl to calm down and listen.

  “Nooo!!!! Lord, don't do this to me,” Pearl continued with a heavy, guilty heart.

  Ms. Pat put her arm around Pearl. “Let him finish,” she said in a comforting way, and looked to the doctor to continue.

  “As I said, we've done all we can do at this time. At this point it's all up to Mercy. The next hours to come are vital. If she can make it through the next seventy-two hours, then she and the baby should be all right. We were not comfortable giving an emergency C-section, but the baby is fine. As I said, if she can fight and pull through the next seventy-two hours, she should be able to make a full recovery. At this point it's up to her, how hard she fights and how badly she wants to live.”

  “There's gotta be something else you can do,” Nayshawn said.

  “Honestly, sir, it's out of our hands. We've done everything we could.”

  Cleezy spoke up. “Look, money ain't no issue. We ain't no poor black people with no insurance.”

  “Money won't make a difference,” the doctor said.

  “Can't we fly some more doctors in and do something? More experienced?”

  The doctor looked at Cleezy and said with a bit of cockiness, “We are the best. In the late eighties, early nineties, Richmond was the murder capital, and we saw countless gunshot victims and pulled them through. So we are the best at what we do, but as good as we are, unfortunately it's out of our hands.”

  The doctor looked at the family as if he wished there were more he could say, but there wasn't.

  Cleezy muttered, “It's got to be something else we can do.”

  The doctor looked him with a solemn face and said, “All any of us can do at this point is pray”

  CHAPTER 38

  A Gangsta's Prayer

  Cleezy sat by Mercys bedside. As her heart monitor line crawled across the screen and beeped slowly he took heed to what the doctor had said and prayed like never before.

  God, I know I ain't never really asked you for nothing or been big into the whole religion thing, but in the message in church today, the minister said, “I have not because I ask not. ” God, I am asking you, I am begging you to spare Mercy's and my baby's life. God, you know like I know that I had turned into a cold nigga with an iron heart. Never did I think it was possible for me to love again, and especially after that mess with my momma. So I know the only way I could ever end up loving like I love Mercy was your will, and I thank you for that. I know God giveth and taketh, but please don't take her from me. I know I have to be accountable for all the lives I've taken away. I ask you for forgiveness of my sins, and please don't take her. God, you know my heart.

  Never in his life had Cleezy called upon God like this. After the longest hours of Cleezy's life, as he studied the green line on the life-support machine, he finally surrendered his own will and gave in to the will of God.

  Tears came to his eyes as he talked to Mercy. “Baby I always wondered what would you ever want with a nigga like me. I always felt like you deserved so much more, but you always said that I was all you needed. Well, I need you, baby. I know you know that I ain't nothing without you. Never was I ever complete until you came into my life. Not only do I need you, I need you to be strong for our baby.” He poured his heart out to her. “This is the baby that we promised that we would devote our lives to. Remember in Miami you made me promise that I will never leave you. Well, please don't leave me. I love you, baby. Please don't make our life in vain. You have made an important impact on my life.” He tried to wipe his tears away, but he couldn't stop them from coming. He began to sob, and when he did, he heard the beeps go quicker and the lines begin to go higher.

  Was that a sign that God had heard his prayers and Mercy could hear every word he was saying and that she was going to fight like hell to make it through?

  CHAPTER 39

  The Final Round

  As Mercy looked at the white light, she made out a smiling face. It was her father, Nate, and he was wearing all white. He looked so relaxed, well rested, young, and rejuvenated. Mercy smiled and ran over to give him a hug.

  “Dadddyyyy, I love you. I am so happy to see you.”

  “I am so proud of you, baby girl.”

  “Are you?”

  “Yes.”

  “That's all I really wanted was you to be proud. Daddy, that's all I was living for.”

  “I know. I was watching over you every step of the way, and I am so pleased with the woman you turned out to be. I know there were some things that I could not have prepared you for but—”

  “It's okay Daddy. We're together now,” she assured her father.

  The beeps on the heart monitor in the hospital room became slower and fainter.

  “Are you sure you want to be with me?” Nate asked.

  “Yes, Daddy. You have always been my world. I always strived to have your blessings even if you were not there. I have longed for this day. The day that
I could see you smile and hear you tell me a job well done and that you love me.”

  “Job well done, Mercy. So you ready to go with me?”

  “Yes, Daddy, I am ready,” Mercy said, like a little girl. “Yes, Daddy, I am ready.”

  He extended his hand for her to go with him. Mercy walked closer and smiled. Her life was complete.

  There was a long Beeeppp!!!! BEEEEPPPP!!! on the heart monitor. Cleezy started screaming, “Noo!” Cleezy hit the buttons to call for help, and screamed, “Helppp!!!! Nurse!! Nope, this shit ain't going to go down like this! Lord have Mercy!” He started praying, begging God, “Please, God, take me and let them live.” Never did Cleezy ever think that he would see the day that he would be willing to trade his life in for someone else's, and a woman at that. Cleezy whimpered and begged and pleaded to a God that just days ago he never believed existed, but these words or feelings Mercy never heard, because she was with her father now.

  In the hospital room the nurses and doctors rushed in, pushing Cleezy aside. Hearing the machine go completely dead froze him. At that moment it was all real to him. It was that exact second that Cleezy realized he wasn't God. He wasn't Superman, and life wasn't for him to spare or give. The only life that he had ever truly valued was Mercy's, and no matter what he had done, it was out of his control. Cleezy had put Mercy before him and sacrificed so much of himself: his freedom, his money, his heart and trust. The only two lives that ever meant anything to him had been taken away, and there was nothing he could do. He was helpless. No money, power, drugs, or respect could give him what he needed or wanted most: his wifey and his unborn child.

  Mercy was hand in hand with her father.

  “There is no pulse, and no vital signs,” one doctor said in the hospital room. “I'm afraid—”