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by Rachel Martin

  “Yo’ want some cider bud?” Dwayne asked.

  He tried to sit up. Where was he? Dwayne tipped some cider into his mouth. He retched again. His heart was racing. Dwayne helped him into a sitting position and leant him up against a wall. He’d been dragged out of the sun, pulled along the bridge, and laid down just outside someone’s front door.

  “What hap…” Ashley managed to croak before falling into a coughing fit.

  Dwayne patted his back and poured the cider into his mouth.

  “He’s asking what happened Dwayne.”

  Ashley nodded.

  “Marc nearly killed yo’ that’s what, if it weren’t for Lise here, you’d be a goner.”

  “And you, you pulled Marc off our Gasher here, didn’t you? It was all you really” she said to Dwayne.

  “Only afta yo’ was already hangin’ off his arm.” Dwayne winked at her.

  She beamed like an idiot in love and looked up at Dwayne with wide honey-brown eyes. Ashley felt even sicker. All the girls fell for Dwayne, he could do no wrong. She began fluttering her eye-lashes, slowly, infuriatingly. Dwayne grinned at her with his stupid handsome face. He’d probably have been a model in another time, in another place. But, now he was here to torture Ashley. Yet, still, Ashley actually liked Dwayne. He was one of the better ones. He could never stay angry at Dwayne for too long. He rubbed his neck.

  “My heroes,” Ashley croaked.

  He rolled his eyes as he watched his two saviours caught in the midst of a lust filled eye-embrace.

  “Well yo’ needs to thank Sade’s for reals Gasher,” Elise said, looking back at Ashley. “I’ve sin how she looks at yo’ she’ll never do nothing for us if you’s get hurt. We’s got plans.”

  “Leave Sadie alone,” Ashley said grabbing the cider out of Dwayne’s hand. “What plans?”

  “It’s def love,” Elise said. “See how he is about her.”

  “Whatever,” Ashley said gulping the cider down.

  “Yo’ feeling better naw?” Dwayne asked looking at his cider-free empty hand jokingly.

  “Not really.”

  Dwayne and Elsie both laughed.

  “Why yo’ gotta be doing Marc’s head in? I don’t think no one could get him off your dumbass neck next time yo’ pisses him off,” Dwayne said. “That man’s a beast.”

  “Our beast,” Elise added.

  “There won’t be a next time,” Ashley said.

  “Good, I nearly got me face smashed in cause of yo’.”

  “Poor baby,” Elise said, grabbing Dwayne’s hand and stroking his perfect cheek. “Even Marc couldn’t bring himself to destroy that pretty face now, could he?”

  Dwayne pouted. Elise gushed. Ashley rolled his eyes, again.

  “How long was I out?”

  “Twenty minutes, I thought yo’ was dead.”

  “I was dead.” Ashley pushed himself to his feet, but he felt so weak.

  His head span, his eyes blurred, and he fell forwards. Dwayne caught him.

  “Be careful, bud.”

  “I just want to go home.”

  “OK, its fine, we’ll help, won’t we?” Elise said.

  “I don’t need your help.”

  “Whatever you say, bud,” Dwayne said as he took Ashley’s hand and steadied him back onto his feet.

  The blood flowed to his head, he felt dizzy all over again. He swayed. Dwayne gripped him around the shoulders and took hold of his arm. Elise stood on the other side, holding him up by the other arm. Ashley felt stupid, the leper of the gang. He kept telling himself: One foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other. The first few steps were a monumental effort, but it got easier and easier, and with their help, he slowly but surely began hobbling back to his flat. As the front door grew closer, his plan grew larger and larger in his mind. He forgot all about his pain. He forgot about that stupid pussy Marc, and the gang, and their incompetence. He only had one thing on his mind. How the Hell was he going to pull off the plan alone?

  Fourteen

  ‘So you’ve figured out how to use the phone I gave you then?’ Sadie replied.

  ‘not all us homiez b dum yo no yo stil cummin gal’

  ‘Yes, I’m still coming.’

  ‘yo ma and pa not b telin yo like no sades’

  ‘They’ve grounded me for the rest of my life. I have to get out of here. I’m coming. I promise.’

  There was a long pause.

  ‘alwigte gal yo cummin here we looks afta u git em ciggys tho Dwayne keeps asqin.’

  ‘Don’t you worry, I’ll bring more ciggies . Dwayne will be happy.”

  ‘Good, good.”

  ‘What have you all been doing today then, after I left yours?’

  ‘O gal, yo nevr beleev wat happen 2 day’

  ‘What?”

  Sadie dropped the tablet onto the bed, leaned against the wall, and looked up at the ceiling. A doubt was niggling at her. She didn’t want any doubt. Not now. This was her time. Her only time. She pulled her knees up to her chin and hugged them tightly. She felt an intense pain rise up from the depths of herself. She felt as though she was going to be completely submerged. She couldn’t breathe. She picked up the tablet and threw it across the other side of the room, then she fell sideways onto the bed. Why didn’t she see this coming? Why did they always have to argue? They were always arguing about something so completely and utterly trivial, she should have known something like this would happen. But why today? It was like they couldn’t see what she could see. They had been numbed by it all. And why did Ashley have to be so stubborn and difficult all the time? Marc only wanted the best for them all, why couldn’t he see that? He was a good leader. He kept them safe, protected. Ashley needed Marc, they all did.

  She lay face first on the bed. The tablet kept making annoying ping ping sounds as new messages came through. What was she going to do now? She still had to go. Whatever had actually happened out there, this news was even more reason to go out there and help. She didn’t want her new friends to start breaking up with each other before she had a chance to save them. She needed to do something for them all. She felt that she was the only one able to do something of any real benefit. It was so obvious that out there they needed each other. It was feral. None of them could make it on their own, not for long. Besides she needed them all for the plan she was formulating. It was dangerous. Yet, as the ideas pulsed through her, it was the most exhilarated she had ever felt. This was real life, not robot life. They weren’t going to persuade her; she was going to persuade them. She knew so much more than they did. She stood up and retrieved the battered tablet. She started typing.

  ‘Hi, sorry. Can you please meet me tonight at the tube station at 10 o’clock.’

  ‘10’

  ‘Yes, that’s two and a half hours from now. Can you do that? I don’t like being alone for long at the station, and at night time they must be even worse.’

  ‘dats gud 4 me’

  ‘Promise you'll meet me there at 10.’

  ‘ile b ther 4 u booty.’

  There was a knock at the door, she jumped. She rolled up her tablet and hid under the covers. There was a second knock. The door opened. Someone sat on the bed next to her.

  “Sadie,” her Father said gently.

  She ignored him.

  “Sadie,” he repeated a little louder. “I’ve brought you up some dinner, burgers, your favourite.”

  He lifted himself up and off the bed. She heard the plate be set down on her desk. You can keep your lab-grown Frankenstein meat for yourself, thank you very much, she wanted to say but didn’t. He sat back down beside her. He gave her ankle a little shake.

  “Sadie, darling, what is it?”

  She still ignored him.

  “You’ve got your Mother in a right state.”

  She still ignored him… then she heard it like clockwork... tick, tick, tick… his brain whirling over and over. She gritted her teeth.

  He stood up again. She heard him pull out h
er chair. He pulled it up close to her head and sat down. Tick, tick, tick.

  “Sadie, please talk to me.” His voice was growing angry and desperate.

  There was silence between them.

  “Sadie, I’m not going anywhere, so you can either talk now or in five hours. I’m not going until I’ve spoken to you.”

  Sadie pulled the covers off her face and sat up.

  “What?”

  He was looking through her window, down the garden, tick.

  “Well?” she asked.

  He turned to face her, “I guess you’re not my little girl anymore.”

  Sadie rolled her eyes.

  “Do you remember when you used to sit on my lap in the garden watching the world go by? Everything was so new to you, everything was so bright, so hopeful, and wonderful. You have given us so much hope Sadie. Do you remember?”

  “Vaguely.”

  “You used to talk to me about anything and everything. I was your best friend, Sadie.”

  Sadie rolled her eyes again, huffed, and slipped back down into a lying position.

  “I’m still your best friend Sadie, you can talk to me. I know going out there must’ve been a shock.”

  She huffed again, and rolled onto her side, away from him.

  “Going missing from school Sadie. Is this really true? I can’t believe it. It’s so out of character, and to go out there as well, it’s so dangerous out there.”

  “What would you know?”

  “I’m your Father, it’s my job to know.”

  “Whatever.”

  “You have to go to school Sadie. Your future depends on it.”

  “What future?”

  “Don’t be like that darling.” He shifted onto the bed and rested his hand on her arm. “I know that seeing what you have, that it may seem hopeless… But…”

  Sadie laughed one big, loud, solitary, laugh.

  “But it’s not. Soon things will be back on track. Soon all those awful problems out there will be no more.”

  “What does that mean?” She spun her head around to face him.

  “You’ve seen it. You know exactly what I mean.”

  “Right… yeah, I understand.” She scowled at him. “The vaccines… of course, and whatever else you’ve got planned.”

  “It’s not like that darling.”

  “What’s it like then? Are we in countdown or something. I can find out you know. I can find out anything I want.”

  His eyes hardened and were fixated on hers. Tick, tick, tick.

  “What’s got into you, ay?” He gently stroked her arm, and relaxed.

  “You amaze me,” she said. “Truly amaze me.” She rubbed her face with her hand. “Are you evil or something?”

  “Evil, that’s a bit extreme, don’t you think?” He feigned a laugh, it was thin, unconvincing. “Sadie, please why are you being like this?”

  “Do you really not care,” she said sitting up to face him again.

  “Sadie, you know it’s not like that. I know it’s different once you go out there, but really, what alternative is there?”

  “I don’t know, do I?”

  “Have those people on the Estate made you do anything? You know, anything you think we might be angry about?”

  “No,” she yelled. “They’ve done nothing to me, now go away.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I’m not on drugs,” she spat out, “if that’s what you’re worried about.” She rolled over.

  “Right, fair enough. I can see there’s no point in talking to you right now.” He stood up. “But don’t you be thinking this is over. I want you to have a good hard think about everything you’ve done. Think about all the sacrifices we’ve made to get you to where you are now. Safe. Cocooned. Trust me one day you will thank us. We do not want you to throw your whole future away on some silly boy.”

  “Is that what you think?”

  “Well, what else is there?”

  “Whatever… I never asked you to make sacrifices for me.”

  “Well, we have… a lot, for you and your brother.”

  She was furious.

  “Go away,” she yelled.

  “Another thing, I don’t know how you’ve managed it, but no one knows you went out there, no one at all, so keep your mouth shut, do you hear me?”

  “Fine, now go away,” she shouted.

  “Very well, have it your way!” He opened the bedroom door. “And I think you better stay up here for the rest of the night.”

  “Arsehole,” she whispered, as the door closed.

  She jumped up and started furiously stuffing her bag.

  Fifteen

  The train was surprisingly quiet. Not that Jack actually knew what the trains were usually like at this hour, but he’d always assumed that they were just as packed, smelly, and hellish as they were in the day. The emptiness was encouraging. Perhaps pulling something off, if it were at night, wouldn’t be that difficult after all. They sat towards the end of one of the carriages, it was almost totally secluded. There were only a few sleeping tramps, some dead-eyed youths, and a madwoman shaking her head and talking to herself. She was holding what looked like a baby wrapped up in a filthy orange sheet, but it wasn’t a baby, it was something else. Jack looked away in disgust. He was glad she didn’t have a real baby. Imagine the kind of life it would have. Life out here was hard enough without having a total nut-job as a Mother. Zach and Sasha sat opposite Mia and Jack. They grinned at each other across the aisle, like naughty children going out drinking for the first time.

  “So Mi,” Zach said leaning back, lifting one foot up and resting it on his knee. He cracked open another beer. “You’ve obviously been thinking about doing something for a while now, haven’t you?”

  Mia stood up, stepped across the middle of the carriage, and sat down next to Zach. Jack rubbed his face in his hands. Did she really have to instigate all this tonight? Involving other people always ended in trouble. Actually, trouble was exactly what he wanted deep down. He grinned to himself and followed her over to their side of the carriage.

  “You’re right,” Mia said. “I need to get out of here, we do,” she said looking at Jack.

  Jack nodded. They all sat in silence. Zach drank the beer, then passed it around.

  “You know, I’d be up for doing anything, to be honest, as long as I think I’d get away with it,” Mia said.

  They all nodded. Jack was watching Zach and Sasha’s expressions in the glass on the other side of the train. They did agree with Mia. It was obvious. They know just as much as he knew.

  The train stopped. More people got on. This was more like it, Jack thought. The hordes, the smells, the rot. He put his arm around Mia’s shoulder. A pale skinned, gaunt young man, with a huge rucksack, sat down opposite them. He had apparently taken the message of staying out of the sun a little too seriously. The youth dropped the bag between his legs noisily. Everyone in the whole carriage stared at him for a moment. He twitched nervously and pulled his hood down even further over his face, then leant back and took a swig from a bottle. At the other end of the carriage, a gang entered. They were ready for the night. They were laughing, joking, flirting, making as much noise as possible. They pushed one of the tramps off the bench. He scurried away on all fours, hobbling passed Jack and the others. He curled up in the corner at the far end. The gang laughed at him, they were just as disgusted as Jack was. He could see it in them, the growing despair. One of them dropped a can of beer on the floor. It burst open and started spewing beer out of the side. It began to spin round and round, soaking everything within spitting distance. One of them kicked it away. Not as far Jack, though. They were lucky, Jack thought. If even one drop had landed on him or his friends, he would be forced to beat the shit out of one of them, or all of them.

  The train started squealing, it got louder and louder, then finally began limping off down the tracks.

  “So would you actually do something like armed robbery?” Sasha whispered ove
r Zach to Mia.

  “Yep,” Mia said. “Why not, we have nothing to lose.”

  Jack saw the guy on the seat opposite lift his hood to look at them. He turned away.

  “Really,” Sasha said.”

  “Yeah, we really want to get out of here, like yesterday, so anything that seems viable we’ll be up for.”

  Jack nodded without thinking. So did Zach he noticed.

  The train screeched to a stop. More people got on. They sat in silence, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone, until the train cleared a bit at another stop.

  “I’m deadly seriously you know,” Mia said. “Completely and utterly.”

  “Me too,” Jack added.

  Mia looked up at him. They kissed. They sat in silence and passed around the last of the beer. Then she clasped her hands together and looked up towards the roof of the train.

  “Oh please God let me think of something. God please, please, please, make something happen for us.”

  At that moment the pale young man who was sat opposite them, stood up and sat down next to Sasha.

  “Eh, excuse me,” Zach said.

  The man was staring intently at Mia.

  “How serious are you?” he said with a deep intensity.

  Mia stared back at him, “deadly.”

  “Good.”

  They were silent for a few moments just watching each other, trying to figure each other out. The train began descending deeper and deeper down into the tunnel. The lights started flashing. There was something so familiar about all this, Jack thought.

  “You know like I know, that there’s only one hope for people like us. We have to leave,” Mia said.

  He nodded then looked at the dirty floor. He began twitching again. Suddenly he whipped his head up and said, “I have a plan, and I need someone to help me. I need your help. It’s a lot of money, at least a million five.”

  “Really?” Mia said.

  He nodded and scratched his nose, sweat was pouring down his face. He was still fighting himself. “I’m serious. I need your help, and it has to be today. Today is the only day. Get off at the next station and head for the One Eyed Dog. I’ll meet you there thirty minutes after we get off, then I’ll tell you all about it.”