Unspoken Words (Hope and a Future Book 1)

by Janna Halterman

  Plenty of people needing help at her library kept the day from being monotonous. Tall stacks of books requiring re-shelving kept her moving the entire day. However, there’d never be enough of anything to keep her mind off of Jackson, at least not today.

  It was dark, but still early, when she left, and the clouds that had threatened rain all day finally released a downpour. She walked home as quickly as she could but still managed to get soaked through completely by the time she arrived at her door. She still had hours until Jackson would be there. After making some tea while the bath filled up, she peeled off her wet clothes and relaxed into the tub, enjoying some much-appreciated quiet time. Knowing she didn’t need to hurry to free the bathroom for her roommates, she soaked a long time, letting the hot water and tea warm her.

  The rest of her afternoon and evening ticked by. She busied herself around the apartment, cleaning this and tidying that, and finally settled on making cookies for her and Jackson for that night.

  Baking was a delight. The ladies who raised her taught her how preparing food for people was an act of love when done with joy in your heart. It was one of the lessons she treasured from her childhood. She hoped Jackson would enjoy them.

  As time crept closer to Jackson getting off work, Evelyn’s anxiety grew. Outside, rain continued its downpour and was eventually joined by thunder. She wondered in amusement if the weather had some connection to the turmoil of emotions stirring within her. She gathered a few blankets for them to use and waited. But eleven o’clock came and left, and Jackson didn’t come. She wondered if perhaps he had just been delayed by the rain, but by midnight she gave up and went to bed. She felt like a fool as tears ran onto her pillow.

  Frustrated, Jackson finished briefing the leading officer who had just arrived at the scene. Someone had been breaking into campus apartments sporadically the last few months and, just as he suspected, as fall break was upon them, there was another break-in. Luckily there hadn’t been anyone home this time. Whoever this person or persons were, they were violent, fast, and elusive. It was midnight by the time he was off.

  He felt horrible for standing up Evelyn, but there was nothing he could have done. He was sure she would be asleep by now; but still he decided to go by her apartment just in case a light was on. He also didn’t like the idea of her being alone when they hadn’t caught this guy yet. If nothing else than to assure himself of her safety, the walk would be worth it.

  He grabbed an umbrella from his office and made his way to her apartment. As he suspected, her lights were off, but he was relieved to see that everything looked undisturbed.

  Taking out a pen and paper, he set to leaving her a note. He owed her an apology and an explanation.

  I’m so sorry I missed our evening together.

  We had a situation at work that I couldn’t escape from.

  I want to see you. I’ll come by at 9:00pm.

  I’ll understand if you are unavailable.

  Jackson

  He hoped she’d get it.

  The sound of rain pelting her apartment roof was the first thing to penetrate her waking senses in the morning. Apparently, it was still coming down hard. Throwing off her covers, Evelyn stretched the sleep from her limbs and sat up.

  It was Sunday.

  Her face plopped into her hands. Her library was closed on Sundays, which meant no work. And rain meant no running. She’d be stuck inside with nothing to do but wonder why Jackson hadn’t come over the night before.

  “Ugh,” she gasped at her reflection. Her eyes were a puffy mess. The consequences of her foolish tears over Jackson’s no-show. “You’re quite the killjoy this morning,” she scolded herself. Being pessimistic wasn’t in her nature, so she splashed cold water over her face, patted it dry with her towel, and determined not to spend the day thinking glumly about Jackson.

  Late in the morning, she made herself some tea and, grabbing one of last night’s cookies, decided that she’d watch the rain. She’d still be stuck at home, but at least she’d be outside. She needed a distraction from the quiet of the apartment. While stepping out her door, her bare foot landed on something. Curious, she reached down and picked up what turned out to be a note. She leaned against the wall, happiness curling her mouth into a smile, as she read his note. He had come by after all.

  Work was getting busy, and crime was on the rise. Syracuse wasn’t the same town it was when Jackson started college, or even the same town as when he left for New Mexico. Violence had made its way into his city. Patrols managed to keep things discreet, citizens panicking wouldn’t help anything, but violence was there and getting worse.

  His position was growing to encompass not just the campus, but the city as a whole. Captain Rogers, the man who oversaw the city’s Patrols, was due to retire in a few short months. No one had said anything yet, but Jackson sensed that instead of hiring another Captain, that they were going to make his enlarged territory permanent. And that was fine with him. With all the high-ranking positions being steadily filled, he had been content assuming he’d have to look outside of Syracuse when he finished his masters. Now with Evelyn in his life, he would prefer to stay on in Syracuse, at least while he processed his feelings for her, and hers for him. For the time-being, at least the rise in crime was providing decent job-security. And if Rogers’ position merged with his, he’d be set for a good long while.

  Jackson checked his bandage again before putting on his jacket. A fight had broken out just at the end of his shift and while breaking it up he managed to get cut by one of the idiots. The fact that both parties would be sleeping in cells tonight helped his mood, but only slightly. For the most part, he was running low on sleep and patience, and now his arm hurt. It didn’t help things that his umbrella was in his office, and he was at the holding cells...a block off campus. He was tempted to run home before going to Evelyn’s, but it was already a quarter to nine, and after last night, he didn’t want to be late. It looked like soggy was going to be added to his list of complaints.

  He’d been thinking a lot about the things he’d recently learned about Evelyn; mostly the fact that she was an orphan. The thought made him feel empty. How could such a precious girl be an orphan; to never know the love of her mother and father?

  He didn’t remember until after he had left her that Tom’s father ran the orphan’s government homes. He recalled Evelyn telling him that she had known Tom for a while. Did she mean she met him when she started college, or could she have meant she’d known him since she was a child?

  The rain slowed long enough for Jackson to make it to Evelyn’s apartment with only his face and jacket getting soaked; the rest of him was damp, but he could deal with that. As he knocked on her door, he was glad to see his note was missing.

  The thunk of the deadbolt sliding to open brought his eyes up.

  “You look pitiful.”

  It wasn’t the greeting Jackson had hoped for, but looking at her standing in the doorway with her head leaned against the door, he didn’t care what she said. He was just glad to see her. “Well thanks, Evelyn. It’s so nice to see you too,” he bantered.

  She opened the door so there was space enough for him to come in. “You’re going to get sick. Come in and we’ll try to get you dry.”

  Jackson was grateful. He would have been more than willing to stay outside like they had agreed, but he also didn’t enjoy being wet and would welcome any opportunity to get dry. He almost made a comment about the we she used, but perhaps tonight was too soon to tease her like that. Though he did wonder what she meant. “Thanks,” he said, walking past her, trying to keep his inappropriate thoughts from showing on his face.

  “Take off your jacket. I’ll go get you a towel.” Evelyn spoke while disappearing down the hall. He was grateful he managed to get his coat off before she returned so she wouldn’t see the strain it was. He hung his jacket on the back of a kitchen chair as she returned, handing him a towel.

  A groan slipped out as he lifted the towel to his face
.

  Stupid arm.

  Stupid pride.

  “Are you ok?” Evelyn asked at his side. She’d never expected to hear the sound of pain escape his lips. Now seeing a bandage soaked through with blood, every thought was for his care.

  “Yeah,” he answered. “Just a cut, that’s all.”

  “You’re tired,” she said, fingering his bandage.

  “It’s been a long day.”

  Leaving his bandage alone, she looked up. The weight of Jackson’s day eased as they looked at each other. She was so beautiful. His life would be good if he could come home to her every day.

  He scolded himself. That was a dangerous thought to entertain.

  “Has anyone looked at that?” she asked, her eyes rounded with concern.

  “It’s fine. Like I said, just a cut. Thank you for the towel.” He handed it back to her.

  “I’ll take that as a no,” she retorted, surprising him. “Sit down and let me look at it.”

  He raised his eyebrows at her adorable attempt at being stern, doubting she had any ability to deal with blood.

  “Sit down,” she ordered, and he did as she said. She pushed his sleeve up and undid his bandage, being careful not to hurt him. The cut was still bleeding a lot. She pressed the bandage against his cut again and looked at him. “Can you hold this while I go get some things?”

  “I think I can manage,” he answered smiling.

  Evelyn went to the bathroom and came back with a fresh bandage, towels, alcohol, and something in a dark glass bottle. Sitting next to him, she put some alcohol on a rag and slid her hand under his, relieving him of his duty of holding the soaked-through bandage.

  “You’re lucky Bekah’s a klutz,” she commented, “or I might not have this stuff.”

  She had become a completely different person before his eyes. Where she normally was cautious, nervous, she now had steady, confident hands. Her lips pursed together as she concentrated, but he could find no sign of squeamishness in her.

  In typical Jackson behavior, he hadn’t taken the time to check how deeply he’d been cut. He regretted his carelessness now, seeing his blood on Evelyn’s hands.

  “You should have gloves on, Evelyn.”

  “And you should have had a doctor look at this,” little miss feisty-pants countered. She glanced up, meeting his eyes for just a moment.

  “Perhaps,” he conceded. “But then I wouldn’t have had this pleasure of having you as my beautiful nurse.” He smiled to himself seeing her focus falter.

  Neither acknowledged her blush.

  Quicker than he’d expected, Evelyn had his arm cleaned and re-wrapped. He didn’t miss the lingering of her fingers on his arm when she pulled his sleeve down.

  “All done,” she concluded, standing away from him.

  Jackson looked over his new clean bandage. “Thank you,” he said and then looked at Evelyn washing her hands. “What was that liquid you used?”

  “Tea tree oil,” she almost laughed. “You let me apply something and didn’t know what it was?”

  Good point, he thought. “I have to admit, I’m really impressed. Normally you seem so terrified of touching me, and here you are tonight mending my wound, getting my blood on you, and you’re fine.”

  “I’m still plenty terrified of you,” she admitted with a shy smile. “You don’t need to stay, you know, if you are too tired. It seems like you could use some rest.”

  “I’d rather be with you right now.” He hoped that wasn’t too forward. “But,” he added, hoping to calm her, “I did promise I’d stay on your patio since no one’s home. I think it’s about time we moved out there.”

  “Yes,” she nodded, “you did promise that.” Jackson stood up and opened the door for Evelyn and the armful of blankets she’d gathered. She quickly laid one of the blankets down as a barrier between them and the cold concrete, and motioned for him to sit.

  “I feel like a little kid,” he said as she placed the blanket over him. “Being all tucked in by my mom.” He suddenly felt like a fool, remembering that she’d never had a mother, and didn’t know what to say to amend his careless statement.

  Evelyn laughed down at him. “So, your confidence can falter,” she observed aloud. “You don’t have to be so careful with me. I’m not going to get upset when you talk about moms. Just because I never had one doesn’t mean it is a difficult subject for me. It’s just the way it was. Besides, it’s nice hearing that I have a motherly trait…I’ll be right back.” She stepped back in her apartment and reappeared with a plate of cookies. “I almost forgot,” she told him, sitting and placing the plate between them. “I made cookies for us yesterday.”

  She made him smile. He had showed up at her door wet and in a foul mood. She helped him get dry, fixed his cut, practically tucked him in, and now was feeding him cookies. She was like a sweet balm, refreshing and healing to his aggravated spirit. “Thank you,” he said and took a bite of a cookie. “Is everything you make this delicious?”

  She pulled the remaining blanket over her, grinning at his question. “There are a few things that, I’ll admit, I can make quite well.” She kept her hands tucked under her blanket to hide her nervous energy. “So what happened last night?” she hesitantly asked.

  Jackson leaned his head back against the wall. “There was another break-in, and this one left a lot to clean up. I’m worried the break-ins are just going to get worse, though, especially with so many people away right now. Makes the school an easy target.” It also made beautiful young women easy targets, but he didn’t voice that concern.

  “What about tonight? How’d you get hurt?”

  “Oh, tonight was nothing. Just two guys who got in a fight and I was careless when breaking it up. I’d rather not talk about work right now.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

  He felt like an idiot. Again. “That’s not it. I’m just tired is all and don’t want to bore you. I’d really like to know more about you. Like what your childhood was like, if you wouldn’t mind telling me.”

  “No,” she smiled. “I don’t mind. No one’s ever asked me about it before. There’s not much to tell. I grew up in a government home. My mother was able to stay off drugs through her pregnancy, but she dropped me off just days after I was born. I don’t think she was strong enough to live free of them.” Jackson closed his eyes as she talked. She told him about the other girls in the home, and the joy and sorrow that she felt each time someone was adopted, or the rare occasion of someone being reunited with their parents. She talked about her schooling, how working hard at it and doing well helped her to see value in herself. As she got older, she was taught how to help with the babies that were brought to the home. There was nothing she enjoyed more than the babies, but nothing made her sadder either. She never could understand how someone could abandon a baby to be raised without a home.

  She finished telling him of the wonderful ladies who raised her, working at the home. They were the ones who taught her that being kind and helping people was a way to love them.

  “Jackson?”

  He opened his eyes and looked down at her, waiting for her question.

  “I’ve always wondered, why do people who know love so deeply, act with so little kindness?”

  “That’s a good question,” Jackson thought aloud. Conviction hit him harder than he wanted to admit. “I suppose it’s because we’re selfish.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Well,” Jackson tried again, “I think you understand that love is more than an emotion; it’s something you give, like a gift. Most people never learn that. To them, love is all about the feeling they have, and if someone doesn’t make them feel a certain way, they don’t think they need to treat them with kindness.” He glanced at Evelyn in time to see a mix of sadness and confusion run over her features.

  The more Jackson knew of Evelyn, the more she was turning into a jigsaw puzzle in his mind. She was an orphan who managed to remain innocent of the world
, even naïve to it. She acted with courageous kindness, but was terrified to make eye-contact with him; not to mention touch him. And she’d never known the love of parents, but couldn’t understand others’ inability to extend love. No matter how he tried, he couldn’t get the pieces of her to fit together.

  “Would you tell me about your childhood, about your family?” she asked, interrupting his ponderings.

  He closed his eyes again and leaned his head back against the wall. He began where he thought she was actually asking about, by telling her about his parents.

  “Before I was born, my dad served for the government. Since he started so young, by the time I was born, he was able to get a permanent station overseeing the cities surrounding his and my mom’s. Dad was pretty strict. Disrespect of any sort wasn’t tolerated, but he’s a very kind man. Mother was the complete opposite. She’s kind,” he amended, “but not at all strict. She’s always singing and still encourages me to dream and explore, like she did when I was a kid. Some people saw my parents as a strange couple, but no one can deny the love between them. I’ve never once seen my father take a harsh tone with Mother. He’s always treated her with gentleness and respect. And Mother adores him, even when he’s difficult.”

  The rustling of blankets turned Jackson’s head, curious to see what was causing the noise.

  The poor girl was trying to keep from shivering. Her legs were pulled up to her chest and she was pulling the blanket in more tightly around herself to keep the chill out.

  Not being one to miss an opportunity, Jackson picked up the plate of cookies and, placing them on his other side, slid over to her. Her confusion was adorable when he took the blanket off his legs. He waited to explain until he had his arm around her and his blanket wrapped around the both of them. “You looked cold.”

  Evelyn’s body spoke of her apprehension. Eyes fluttering shut on her inhale, she then exhaled slowly, and with the release of her breath, her body relaxed into his.