Unspoken Words (Hope and a Future Book 1)

by Janna Halterman

  “That was very rude of you to say that in front of Evelyn!” Jackson stormed. “If you’re upset, you take it out on me, and not when she’s around!”

  Charles sat calmly and drank his coffee. “Sit down, son, and we can have our talk.”

  Jackson watched his father, looking completely unaffected by his words. His father’s calm demeanor made Jackson boil, but he knew yelling wouldn’t do any good, so he obeyed his father and sat.

  “I’m sorry,” Charles began, surprising Jackson, “You’re right, it was rude of me to say anything in front of Evelyn. But Jackson, you need to control your actions a lot better, especially if you plan on bringing her here again for Christmas.” He saw that his comment angered his son. “I’m not saying she would become unwelcome. I’m saying that you might. You’re in danger of hurting that poor girl very badly.”

  Jackson’s shock didn’t help his anger. “You know I have no intentions of hurting her! I told you how I feel about her.”

  “I do know how you feel about her. She, however, has no idea. Do you know she has no clue that you even plan on taking her to the New Year’s Ball? She’s a sweet, innocent, and extremely naïve girl and you are taking advantage of her! I won’t sit by and let my son hurt her.”

  Jackson didn’t know if he should still be angry, or just confused. “How could she not know that I feel something for her?”

  “Have you told her?” his father asked harshly, as a father defending his own daughter.

  “Of course I have! Not everything, but she knows I care for her.” She had to know.

  Charles shook his head. His son was just as naïve as this girl. “Son, from what that girl has shared with your mother, it sounds like she is falling in love with you; but she is desperately trying to fight those feelings. I swear to you, she is oblivious to your feelings for her. If anything, she thinks you see her as a little sister. If you don’t intend on pursuing her, then holding her hand, comforting her, even protecting her to the extent you have been is just hurting her.”

  His father was right; he was always right. “She’s afraid of me, Dad. How do I make my feelings known to her when I already scare her?”

  “Just take it slow, and minimize the physical until you’ve made your feelings clear to her.” Charles looked at his son firmly. “And even after that, minimize the physical. You had better remember she’s a lady, and since she doesn’t have a father, you’ll answer to me twice over if you cross that line. Do you understand?”

  Jackson laughed, even though he knew his father was serious. “Yes, Father. I understand.”

  After finishing his long-turned-cold breakfast, Jackson found Evelyn alone in the kitchen. Both hands were set to the task of holding her coffee as she stood looking out a window in the kitchen, humming a very old hymn very quietly. He’d never heard her sing, though even now she was only humming, but the noise he heard was angelic. He hesitated to say anything, not wanting her to stop, but knew it would be rude of him not to let her know he was there.

  “That’s one of my favorites,” he said, “the song you were just humming.”

  Evelyn stopped humming and gave him a reproachful look. “You didn’t tell me your parents held church.” She couldn’t keep her smile from peeking through.

  Jackson leaned against the counter opposite her. “I’m sorry. I just came to tell you, though, if that helps my cause at all.”

  “I’m really excited,” she said, smiling widely now. “Have they always opened their home for that? Did you get to grow up going to church?”

  He didn’t expect her to sound so joyful over it, or so curious. “Every Sunday my whole life. It’s very important to my parents, and to me. I’m assuming you’re joining us?”

  “Of course! I’ve always wanted to attend one. I was thinking about church the first time we met. Do you remember when you scared me while I was up on that ladder?”

  Jackson smiled remembering. “Yes. I had to ask you for help finding a book.”

  “Well,” she continued, “I was looking at the stained glass and thinking about what church must have been like when the library was still a church. I had no idea you had walked up to me, until you spoke. You actually do that a lot, sneak up on me.” Jackson didn’t know why that statement caused her to blush. “Anyway, it’s kind of neat, don’t you think, that I was thinking about church when we met and now, I get to go to church with you in your parents’ home?”

  “Yes,” he agreed. “It’s kind of neat.” He often times took it for granted that he was so blessed to grow up with God-fearing parents who raised him in God’s Word. Seeing the hunger for it in her eyes reminded him, and humbled him, too.

  Evelyn looked at the clock; it was a half hour until nine now and they both were in sweats still. “We need to get ready. What do people wear for church?”

  Jackson gestured for her to follow him as he answered. “My parents never want anyone to feel out of place when they join them in their home, so they’ve made it a habit to dress casually.”

  He saw relief wash over her. “You have amazing parents,” she commented. “They must be the most wonderful people I’ve ever met.” When they arrived at her room, she stopped, looking up at him, and surprised him by taking his hand in both of hers.

  “Thank you.”

  He got a little lost in those big doe-eyes. “For what?”

  “For everything. For being my friend, for caring about me. For bringing me here and sharing your family with me.” Her eyes dropped before meeting his again. “For sitting with me last night. I’m not sure what I would have done… I know it’s your job to keep people safe –”

  He almost interrupted her, but she moved a hand to his chest, silencing his argument.

  “I know it’s your job, but I also know that what you’ve done for me…well, it doesn’t make any sense. But thank you.”

  Just as quickly as she had grabbed him, she let him go and pushed through the door into her room. Jackson blinked after her door clicked shut. He was entirely convinced the woman had put him in a trance, as he hadn’t moved or breathed since she took his hand.

  Chapter 25

  Excitement and anxiety pulsed through Evelyn as they entered the library for church. She wished she could hold Jackson’s hand to still her fidgeting and borrow some of his strength. Then every eye turned to her, and every mouth smiled, and she was instantly glad she gave no reason for further attention.

  Nine other adults were present, and three children; two boys and a girl. The girl looked to be about five, and the boys about three and maybe one. They seemed rather well-tempered, happily playing in a corner until their parents called for them. Several of the men had brought chairs in from the dining room, but everyone was gathering into a circle, instead of sitting in them.

  “Why aren’t they sitting down?” Evelyn whispered to Jackson, confused.

  “We always begin with prayer,” he answered her. He took her hand – she decided holding hands was better than not – and led her to the others.

  The older of the two boys smiled up at her and took her other hand without question. She bowed her head when she saw the others do so and listened to Charles lead them in prayer.

  There was undeniable power in that moment, in the unity of these people who, as she heard from Charles’ lips as he prayed, gave their allegiance to God before and above all else. She understood then how the government could see these people as a threat. If their God was against them, these people would stand against them as well.

  But Charles and Jackson both worked for the government and strove to protect their country. She thought it’d be a better idea for the government to side with God instead of trying to push Him away. But perhaps there was more to it, more to this God.

  Charles finished his prayer and everyone echoed him with, “Amen,” then took their seats. Evelyn retreated to the back of the room and sat away from the others. It wasn’t that she wanted to keep herself separate from the people gathered; she just wanted to see everythin
g. A hunger for understanding had been awoken in her. Jackson brought a chair over and joined her. Charles opened what looked like a notebook, very similar to what she’d seen Jackson read the night before last, and began reading. “What’s he reading?”

  She missed the look of astonishment he gaped at her.

  “He’s reading from Matthew today, it’s one of the books from the Bible.”

  At one time, the Bible had been printed as one whole book, but that had been before the last civil war. Ever since, the government had restricted the printing of it and each of the books were published individually in cheap bindings. Evelyn nodded when he answered her and leaned forward resting her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. These were the first words she’d ever heard from God’s Book.

  She couldn’t help but drink in every word Charles read. The Madames who raised her told her about God, and she believed in Him. Anyone with eyes to see should have no excuse to not believe. The world proclaimed His existence. But she had never heard this, as it was against the law for the Madames to bring religious books into the home or for the library she worked at to own any. These words Charles read told a story about Jesus and a man named Nicodemus. Jesus was telling him how God sent His son to save the world, and something about being born again she didn’t understand.

  After Charles finished, the people talked openly about what he read and how it affected them. Evelyn had difficulty focusing on what the others were saying because she kept thinking about what she had heard. After a while, the people took turns asking the others to pray about specific things for them. Then something very curious happened. Natalie brought out a tray holding a loaf of bread and small glasses filled with a red liquid. The tray was passed and Evelyn watched in wonder as each person took a glass and broke off a piece of the bread. After the tray passed from their hands, their heads bowed in silence.

  Evelyn looked up at Jackson. “It’s communion,” he answered her unspoken question. Evelyn’s brows came together in puzzlement.

  “I don’t know what that is,” she whispered to him.

  “It’s a symbol of our faith. The bread symbolizes Christ’s body that was broken for us and the wine…or in this case juice…symbolizes His blood that was spilled for our sins. Eating and drinking is a memorial of His death and proclaims our faith in Him.”

  Evelyn decided it was best she didn’t join them in this. She didn’t understand it and thought she shouldn’t take something from God that she didn’t understand. “You don’t eat and drink with them?” she whispered again.

  “I do,” he answered. “But I didn’t want to leave you alone back here by yourself.”

  “No,” she whispered back while shaking her head. “I want you to join them. I’m okay by myself.” Jackson studied her for a moment, but she’d been purposely strategic in her wording. I want you to join them. He hesitated still. “Really, Jackson,” she said, placing her hand on the top of his knee. “I don’t want to be the reason you don’t join them. It doesn’t feel right to get between you and this.”

  He patted her hand with his own, then stood and joined the others. Evelyn watched Jackson break bread with his father and take one of the glasses of juice, then bow his own head. She had a pretty good idea that they were each speaking silently to God. What did one say to God before communion? What did Jackson say? But silent prayers were private matters, and she would never ask.

  After a moment, Charles spoke. “This is the body and blood of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior which was given for you. Eat and drink in remembrance of what the Lord has done for you.” And they ate and they drank.

  When everyone finished, they stood to pray once more. Evelyn joined them, taking Jackson’s waiting hand. They finished again with “Amen” and squeezed hands.

  Now that church seemed to be over, everyone was interested in Evelyn. Jackson stood loyal by her side, smiling as everyone introduced themselves to her. He was proud of his church family for the way they accepted Evelyn so immediately, for the gentle kindness they bestowed on her, and for their discretion in not asking about her bruised eye.

  The couple with the children were the last to introduce themselves. The youngest snuggled in his mother’s arms, while the older boy and girl stood quietly smiling between their mother and father. “Hi,” the mother greeted, extending her free hand to Evelyn, “I’m Claire.”

  “I’m Evelyn,” she replied, shaking Claire’s hand.

  “I’m Lillian,” the little girl stated, making herself heard, and smiled.

  “It’s very nice to meet you Lillian,” Evelyn said as she smiled down at her.

  Claire shook her head, smirking at her daughter. “This,” she said, referring to her son in her arms, “is Joshua.” She put her hand on her older son’s head. “This is Ryan, and this,” she motioned to her husband and he extended his hand, “is Nathan.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Evelyn,” Nathan said, shaking her hand with a firm but gentle grip.

  “We all grew up together,” Jackson said, joining the conversation. “We used to have lots of fun until they decided to fall in love and get married.”

  “Hey,” Nathan responded, raising his hands in defense, “Don’t blame me! It was all her idea.”

  Claire laughed. “He’s kind of right. But in my defense, I waited eighteen years for him to make a move. I got tired of waiting.”

  Evelyn enjoyed their banter and laughed easily along with them.

  “So,” Claire continued, “How do you two know each other?”

  The question gave Evelyn pause. Though they weren’t in a romantic relationship, their friendship came from unusual – personal – circumstances. “Oh, well…”

  “School.” Jackson answered for her. “She’s a librarian and helps with my studies.”

  Evelyn wasn’t sure, but she thought she saw Jackson give Claire a stern look and shake his head.

  “Jackson always did need help with his studies,” Nathan laughed, teasing Jackson and breaking the tension that was momentarily present.

  Jackson laughed sarcastically.

  “How long are you guys in town for?” Nathan asked.

  “Leaving today. Actually,” Jackson said. “We’re leaving in about an hour.”

  Ryan began pulling on Claire’s arm. All three of the kids were getting restless. “That’s too bad,” Claire said. “It would have been nice to get to catch up and get to know you, Evelyn.”

  “I wish we could stay longer,” Evelyn admitted, smiling sadly, “but Jackson says he has work.”

  Joshua began to whine and rub his eyes, making it clear that he was ready to leave. “We should probably go,” Claire said. “We need to catch up next time you’re in town, Jackson. Evelyn, it was really nice meeting you.”

  “You too,” Evelyn smiled back.

  The men shook hands and Jackson hugged Claire and the kids. They were the last of the guests to leave and Evelyn was once again alone with the Monroes.

  “Charlie,” Evelyn began. The questions she had about his reading were becoming a storm inside of her. An unnatural urgency pressed her to find the answers. “Could I ask you about what you read?”

  “Of course,” Charles replied eagerly. “What do you want to know?”

  Natalie put her hands up to pause them. “Wait,” she said. “Chat at the dinner table so you can talk while you eat.”

  Charles and Jackson returned the chairs that had been brought into the library into the dining room, and the three of them sat down while Natalie disappeared into the kitchen to prepare lunch.

  “Okay,” Charles continued their conversation, “what did you want to ask me?”

  Evelyn was silent for a moment, trying to organize her thoughts as best she could. “I guess my first question is, was that story real? I mean, did it really happen that way? Jesus really said those words to that man?”

  “Yes, the story is real. Are you not familiar with the Word of God?” Charles asked. He understood better than his son did that many peo
ple didn’t have access to God’s Word.

  Evelyn shook her head. “The women who raised me told me about God, but only that He created us and that we should believe in him and worship him. They taught us a couple songs they sang for God, too.” She was glad Charles didn’t look shocked; it made her feel less embarrassed for admitting her ignorance.

  “I read from a book called ‘Matthew.’ Matthew, and the other books that make up the whole Bible, were written by, and about, real people and they record what actually happened. Matthew was one of Jesus’ closest friends, so he was likely there for this conversation.”

  Evelyn’s spirit was comforted by that somehow, but she still didn’t understand the story he had read. “Jesus…that’s God’s son, right?” Charles nodded. At least she had that right. “He was telling Nicodemus about being born again, and I don’t know what that means, but I got the feeling it is important.”

  Charles nodded. “You’re right, it is important. Jesus was talking about a spiritual birth. When we are born, physically, we are alive; but we are not alive spiritually until we are born again.” Her left eye narrowed and her mouth creased into a frown. Her look of confusion prompted Charles to continue. “I know, it’s still confusing. We are all born sinners. Sin is our imperfection, or disobedience from God’s perfect law. The consequence for sin is death and an eternity away from God. It’s what we call hell. Jesus came down to us to fix that, though. He offered himself as a sacrifice and died for us. The Good News is, He didn’t stay dead. He defeated death and came to life again and offers His life for anyone who believes in Him. Jesus offers us a rebirth into life forever with Him, if we choose to believe and obey Him. We have to choose to, as we are led by His Spirit, be born into his family. Does that make sense?”

  Evelyn thought about it for a minute. She had always believed in God, at least in what she knew of Him, but this rebirth Charles was talking about was new. “Jesus chose to die for us?”

  “Yes.”

  But He was God, she thought. “Why?”

  Charles was silent a moment before he answered, “I don’t mean to be insensitive, please forgive me if I offend you, but I’m thinking it may be more difficult for you to understand because you grew up without parents. You see, Evelyn, I would gladly die for Jackson or Natalie, because he is my son and she is my wife; I would do anything I could to protect them and take care of them. I think that’s a piece of Himself He puts in a Christian father and husband, to give us an example of His love for us, His children. But remember, I am just a human, imperfect and broken. If I would die for them, would it not make sense for our Heavenly Father to send his Son, who is God the Son, to die for us, His children?”