Unspoken Words (Hope and a Future Book 1)

by Janna Halterman

  Natalie came bounding down the stairs, with Charles following behind at a less frantic pace. Jackson braced Evelyn with his hand against her back as his mother ran into her, hugging her tightly. His gentle touch took her breath more than the force of his mother.

  “I thought I’d never make it these three weeks!” Natalie exclaimed, turning then to Jackson. “I’m so glad you’re back!” She stood back after hugging her son. “You’ve grown! How is it possible that you’ve grown in three weeks?”

  Jackson laughed and shook hands with his father. “I’ve spent a lot of time training with the officers lately. Had some frustrations I was working through.”

  “Was or are?” Charles asked, raising an eyebrow at his son.

  “Was,” Jackson answered smiling. Evelyn’s brow furrowed at the unspoken conversation going on between Jackson and Charles. Her breath caught in surprise when Jackson slid his arm around her, holding her firmly against him.

  Natalie rescued Evelyn from Jackson’s grip, taking her hand. “You boys take the bags upstairs. We’ll meet you in the kitchen.” And she whisked Evelyn away. Once they were alone, Natalie turned, smiling widely at Evelyn with a twinkle in her eye. “So tell me, when did you two finally realize you liked each other?”

  Evelyn had forgotten how blunt Natalie was. “How did you…” Oh. Natalie smiled as she saw understanding come over her. “I was his frustration. Um, just last night, actually. We haven’t really talked about it, though.” Evelyn just stared as Natalie’s laughter rang out. Evelyn had no idea what was so funny. Things didn’t seem funny at all. Confusing, yes! But not exactly funny.

  “Oh, it’s about time Jackson’s had to wait for a woman,” Natalie explained. “Good for you, making him wait. Now he’s had a taste of what it’s like for the rest of us. You’re good for him. I hope you know that.”

  “What was Harold Thompson’s wife’s name?” Jackson wanted to talk to his father about Evelyn’s parents as soon as possible, and it worked in his favor that his mother stole Evelyn right away.

  “Justine,” Charles answered. “Why do you want to know that?”

  Jackson’s shoulders sagged. How he’d hoped that he had been wrong. “Do you know what her maiden name was?” He could see his father was confused. A rare occasion.

  “Carter, I think.”

  Jackson stopped his dad from going downstairs. “Evelyn’s their daughter. She took me to her mother’s grave this morning.”

  Even rarer than his father being confused was his father showing he was shocked; but this was one of those times. “Who else knows that?” Jackson heard the same alarms that had rung in his head sounding in his father’s voice.

  “I don’t know. I’m sure I’m the first person she’s taken to the grave, but I can’t be sure no one else knows her mother’s name.” Jackson could see his father was thinking the same thing he was. This was dangerous information. “What would we even do if someone knew?”

  Charles took a moment to think. “There’s nothing to do about it right now, and while she’s here, she’s safe. After Christmas, I’ll try to find out what I can. We’ll pray no one else knows. What does she know?”

  “She knows her father was murdered, but I don’t think she even knows his name; She can’t know much, if anything.”

  “You’ll have to decide when to tell her. She needs to know, and it should come from you.”

  Jackson knew that too, but he wasn’t looking forward to telling her. A weariness he didn’t know he carried pressed in on him.

  “I’m glad you, how’d you put it, worked through your frustrations with Evelyn,” Charles teased his son as they walked down the stairs. “She doesn’t look comfortable with you though.”

  “That’d be because I only told her how I felt last night.” He might as well tell his father everything. It was always better when he did. “And it was after I kissed another woman.” Jackson cringed when his father stopped mid-step. This conversation wasn’t going to go down as one of his favorite father-son talks. “Go ahead and lecture me. I know I’m a complete fool. I could try to make excuses about how and why it happened, but I won’t.”

  Charles began walking again. “It was a foolish thing for you to do, but I won’t call my son a fool. We all make mistakes. Just be sure it’s the last time you make that one. Evelyn doesn’t seem like the forgetful type. I’d imagine she’s going to struggle with that for a while. You’re going to have to be patient, and humble. Those aren’t your strongest qualities.”

  Jackson’s laugh lacked humor. It hadn’t crossed his mind that his actions with Sarah would leave scars on Evelyn.

  Chapter 37

  1 Corinthians 13:1-8a (NIV)

  If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophesy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

  Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

  Love never fails.

  Borrowing from the Monroe’s personal library, Evelyn did as Bekah had told her and looked up First Corinthians 13 that night. She read and re-read the chapter, and as she read, she became more and more overwhelmed, crushed even, by the concept of love.

  “Can I help you understand something?” Charles asked from his chair across from her in the library. Jackson and Natalie were cleaning the kitchen from that night’s dinner, leaving Evelyn and Charles to their reading. They had been sitting, each reading from God’s Word, in a very comfortable and safe silence.

  Jackson had kissed Evelyn soundly on the mouth, and in front of his mother none the less, earlier that day. After that, she decided to stick closer to Charles. She didn’t tell Jackson, because she wasn’t entirely sure how to do so without hurting his feelings, but she wasn’t prepared to be quite so open with affection. Part of that stemmed from the fact that they still hadn’t talked about what exactly their relationship was, and part of it came from the fact that they had told each other they loved each other…but she really didn’t know anything about love. Being so naïve about something everyone else knew so much about did nothing to comfort her or make her feel secure with Jackson. So Charles was her new best friend. He was the safest of the Monroes, and he was compassionate with her questions and hesitations.

  “My roommate suggested I read this chapter,” she explained. “She was hoping it’d help me understand some things, but I’m afraid it’s just overwhelming me.”

  “What are you reading?”

  Evelyn held up the booklet so he could read the title; First Corinthians. “Chapter 13.”

  “Ah,” Charles said with a tone of understanding. “Love is a rather overwhelming subject. Why don’t you talk through your thoughts?”

  “Thank you, Charles, but I don’t want to bother you with this.”

  “When Jackson was about ten years old,” Charles said, “he would get very angry and Natalie and I couldn’t understand why. One day during one of his moods, I had him sit down and I asked him what was wrong. He said that I wouldn’t understand, but I got the impression that he wasn’t too sure himself. So, I asked him a few other questions: who he had seen that day, what they had learned in class; just innocent questions to get him talking. He eventually got around to talking about what was bothering him. To this day he talks things out with me so he can figure out his thoughts. I will do the same thing with you, Evelyn, if you’d like. However, I am of the belief you have a less cluttered mind than my son and that you don’t need nearly as much prompting. If you’d rather just talk through your though
ts and have me listen, without prodding, I’ll be happy to be a silent participator in this exercise.”

  Evelyn was beginning to see why people didn’t argue with Charles; there just wasn’t any point. The man had a way of extending such kindness that it seemed rude to decline. “If Jackson comes in,” she tried to explain, but how could she explain that she wasn’t ready to talk to Jackson about everything yet?

  But Charles could sympathize. “If Jackson comes in, we’ve been talking about how your finals went.”

  “Thank you,” Evelyn smiled and then proceeded to explain her consternation. “Bekah, my roommate, suggested I read this chapter to help me understand this…whatever Jackson and I are.” She could tell Charles was attempting to hide his smile. If it were anyone else, she would have been embarrassed, but not with him. His insuppressible smile communicated compassion and sensitivity. Amusement too, but she didn’t mind. “I know what I feel and what I think about Jackson, and I know that Jackson says he loves me, but I’m not sure if our definitions of love are the same. I don’t know if love has an exact definition or if it changes according to the person who feels it. Does that make any sense?”

  “It does,” he answered.

  “I listened to Bekah and read the chapter, and according to this, love is a very specific thing. The problem is that the kind of love this describes is…well, it sounds impossible. Some of it sounds easy, like the not delighting in evil; but I’m sure I don’t understand that fully either. You and your family are the best people I’ve ever known, and I know you love Natalie and Jackson. Are you always patient with them? Can you really forget every wrong they’ve ever done? But then it makes me think, if they’ve done something wrong, then doesn’t that mean their love isn’t the love described in this chapter?”

  Charles sat with one leg crossed over the other with his ankle resting on his knee and his arms folded across his chest. It was a thoughtful position, with his dark eyes – the same as his son’s – twinkling in contemplation. “I can see why you’re overwhelmed,” he said, taking his time to answer. Charles not only thought before he spoke, but he considered his words carefully. Evelyn appreciated it and admired that about him. It must have made him a valuable asset to the Patrols, especially when working with other countries over difficult situations. “Let me first answer your questions about me. No. I am not always patient and kind with them. I have not forgotten every wrong they’ve done. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day, I have to choose to forgive and I cannot forget unless God chooses to take a memory from me, but I can choose to let things go. I can choose to not hold things against them. I can choose to not bring up their pasts, their mistakes, for my gain. But it is still the love that First Corinthians describes. You’re correct when you say that the love you just read about is impossible, but what you don’t know is that nothing is impossible with God.”

  Charles’ words rattled something deep inside her and a weighty burden came upon her unexpectedly. She took the stretch of silence Charles gave her to reflect on all he had said and to compare it to what she had read. The verses before her implied that love was something a follower of God didn’t have a choice in; like it was a command and it needed to be resolute.

  “God loves us this way, doesn’t He?” she asked.

  “He does.”

  “And we strive to be like Him?”

  “Correct. In Ephesians it says to be imitators of God because we are his children.”

  He paused again and Evelyn noticed he chewed the inside of his lip when he was thinking. Charles had a verse for everything. It left Evelyn a little baffled, but also grateful for the plethora of Scriptures he could recall at any moment assuring her the Bible had guidance for everything. That was comforting for a girl who grew up having to learn everything the hard way, through experience and the embarrassment of her own naïveté. She now had an invaluable resource.

  “Throughout the entirety of the Bible, we’re shown the greatness of God’s love for us. Then in First John, we’re told that God is love. When you were born again, when you became a Christian, you received that love within yourself. As a child of God, you’re called to this kind of love for everyone; not just for Jackson. In Matthew chapter five, we’re told to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Charles stopped.

  “I’m sorry. I’m afraid I’ve taken this conversation to a topic you weren’t prepared to discuss,” he apologized. “You’ve been through more than your fair share of persecution. I know you were searching God’s Word for insight on what is between you and Jackson, but you need to know there’s so much more to love than the romance that our culture says it is.”

  “Are there any reference books or commentaries that categorize all topics, like love, in the Bible?” Evelyn asked.

  A new stillness came over Charles, and Evelyn got the impression he was weighing something in his mind. She watched as his stillness transposed to movement and he stood and crossed the room to a bookshelf behind her. His hand disappeared behind a row of books as he reached for something she couldn’t see. A faint click sounded and the bookshelf unhinged itself from the wall on the right side.

  “You remember this, Evelyn,” he said, pointing at the book his hand had reached behind. “If there’s ever any sort of attack on this home, you come straight here and close the door behind you.” He opened the door to expose a hidden room. Charles summoned her with his hand to join him and she obeyed immediately, driven by curiosity at what this secret room held.

  The light from the library flooded the room completely. Even so, Evelyn noticed a small nightlight in a corner, along with a well-stocked supply of flashlights and headlamps. The hidden treasure of a room was lined on one side with a bookshelf and desk, with guns and ammunition on the opposite. It was rather impressive artillery. Between the two filled walls and directly behind the hidden door was a small opening. It was too dark to see where it led.

  “That,” Charles said, speaking to her unvoiced question, “leads to our basement and has connections to mine and Natalie’s room and Jackson’s, as well as a tunnel that will take you out to a cave by the lake. Your room doesn’t have a door, so Jackson will show you how to get through his since your rooms are next to each other. But back to your question about commentaries. Here,” he said, pointing to a section of old-looking books, “you’ll find a few commentaries and other study materials for the Bible.”

  Evelyn’s fingers ran over the spines of the books. She loved the feel of old books. “They’re banned, aren’t they?” Charles nodded. She gleaned that from the fact he had them hidden. “Do you have a full Bible?” she asked, hoping his answer was no since that was what she was gifting them for Christmas.

  Charles relieved her worry. “Unfortunately, no. Those are harder to come by because everyone knows they’re banned. I’m sure you know how that is, working at a library. When I was younger, I managed to get on an inventory check at a library in Louisiana and was able to grab these before the other officers found them and burned them.”

  Evelyn did know how that was. If there had been a Patrol assigned to their inventory this month, she would never have been able to smuggle the Bible out; unless the officer had been Jackson. A funny jolt ran through her at the thought of working an inventory with Jackson, alone in one of the back library rooms.

  Charles selected one of the books and handed it to her. “This will probably be the most helpful for you.” Evelyn began flipping through the book as Charles closed the secret bookshelf door. “I’m going to head up to bed,” Charles said. “Natalie and Jackson should be done with the kitchen by now.”

  Evelyn closed the book to give Charles her full attention. “Thank you for talking me through everything. I would have still been staring at the page if you hadn’t helped me.”

  “It’s been a joy. Your questions challenged me and encouraged me in my faith tonight; so, thank you.”

  “Charles?” Evelyn asked just before he left the room. He stopped and turned to her. “C
an you give me any advice on how to love your son? I mean how to love him the way God wants me to?”

  Charles laughed, loud enough for the others to hear and Evelyn worried they might come in and ask what they were laughing about. “You’re a wonderful young lady, Evelyn. You already love him better than you know.” He stopped there and his lips softened in a smile, hinting at tenderness rather than amusement. “Natalie and I already see you as family. We’ve both prayed for you since before we even knew you.”

  Charles was well aware the full meaning of his words went over Evelyn’s head. He and Natalie both hoped Jackson would marry her. But aside from her relationship with their son, they had prayed for her because of their friendship with her parents. For twenty years, there had been an unwavering burden on their hearts to pray for her, though without knowing her name, only knowing she was the orphaned daughter of their dear friends who had lost their lives. God was good. He had protected her and brought her into His kingdom just as her parents had always prayed. What a privilege it was to see God work, and how humbling. And this precious girl loved his son. None of them really deserved her. Well, Natalie did; but he and Jackson surely didn’t.

  “My advice would be to pray for him, and to be patient and quick to forgive. Jackson struggles with patience and he has been known to be quick to anger. He has his mother’s temper.” He winked at her and smiled wider.