Right There with You

by R. J. Sable

I backed up slightly as he trailed his fingers over my shoulders. I felt the bile rising in my stomach. This was quickly turning from another of his stupid pranks to something a lot more sinister.

  “Next time I expect you to be wearing something a lot sexier,” he grinned.

  “N… next time?” I stuttered. There's not going to be a next time. I don't ever want to see him again. As soon as I figure out a way to get that video off of him, I'm never speaking to him again.

  “Oh yes,” he grinned, stepping closer to me so that I was pinned against the wall. “You're going to be seeing a lot more of me, Jelly.” His fingers started trailing further down my chest, moving over the tops of my breasts.

  “Duff, no!” I protested, pushing his hand away. “You can't do that.” Panic was rising in my chest now. This was going way further than I anticipated. I'd thought he just wanted to humiliate me and make a point about who had the upper hand between us.

  “I can do whatever I like, I own your ass now.”

  I struggled against his grasp, but he pulled my wrists up above my head, pinning them against the wall.

  “Stop, Duff, this is wrong!” I cried as his spare hand began rubbing over my breasts once more and I fought back the need to vomit. “I'll tell my brothers!” I could hear the lack of conviction in my voice and there was no way he’d missed it.

  “Yeah, right,” he scoffed. “I'll just send them the video of you getting finger-fucked in front of everyone.”

  I blushed at his harsh words and continued fighting against him. I gasped as I felt his finger dip inside the cup of my bra and brush over my nipple. I started struggling wildly but he had his weight pushed up against me, pinning me to the wall.

  “Duff, please, stop it!” I pleaded, the tears breaking through. “I don't want this, please don't do this.”

  I kept my eyes closed and I felt him pull his body away from mine. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was short lived. I snapped my eyes open as I heard the shutter noise from his phone. He was taking pictures of me in my underwear.

  “Duff!” I cried. “Please, delete them!”

  I squirmed wildly and managed to pull my arms away from him. I lunged for his phone but he was too quick. He grabbed me around the waist and threw me onto the bed, landing on top of me and pinning me down.

  “Jelly,” he growled as he pinned my arms once more. “I thought you were gonna play nice?” He sounded pissed but he was smiling a sinister smile.

  I could feel his erection pinned between us and had to fight back the vomit once more. What the hell is he doing? “Please, Duff, I don't want you to take pictures of me like this,” I sniffled.

  “Tough titties,” he snarled, his face mere millimetres from mine. “I'll do what the fuck I want with you if you that video kept a secret from your brothers.”

  That was the last straw, the tears were pouring out now as I begged and pleaded with him not to do this.

  “If you can't play nice, you leave me no choice,” he sighed, still grinning.

  I watched as he pulled the belt from around his waist and began wrapping it around my wrists. “Duff, stop!” I cried. “This isn't funny, you're scaring me!” I watched helplessly, my chest constricted in panic, as he continued binding my wrists, looping the belt through the bars at the end of my bed so that they were held firmly above my head. I began pulling against it as soon as he removed his hands. I yanked with all my might but it was no use. Pure panic took over and I began kicking and screaming. He threw his body over mine, crushing me and holding his hand roughly against my mouth.

  “You need to be quiet, or I send that video right now, do you understand me?”

  I was having trouble breathing with his weight pushing down on me, I was barely pulling in any oxygen through my nose. I needed to keep my head straight. I nodded and breathed deeply as he slowly removed his hand from my mouth.

  “Gonna play nice, Jelly?” He sneered.

  I nodded again. Just concentrate. What is it Craig always tells you? Keep them talking.

  “Why are you doing this, Duff?” I asked, trying to sound as calm as I could.

  “You know I love messing with you, Jellybean,” he smiled, a genuine smile.

  “But why?” I asked again.

  “You know the reason why,” he frowned.

  “I don't, tell me,” I pleaded.

  “Don't be ignorant,” he scolded, anger crossing his brow. He stood up suddenly and flipped me over so that I was lying on my front.

  I felt his fingers tracing my spine and I squirmed uncomfortably. I hated the feel of him on my skin. “Duff, please don't!” I squirmed again as I felt his fingers undo the clasp of my bra.

  He flipped me over once more as if I was nothing more than a rag doll.

  “Duff, please, think about how much trouble you'll be in if my brothers find out,” I pleaded. Keep him talking.

  “They're not gonna find out though are they, Jelly?” He grinned, sounding pretty sure of himself.

  My endeavours to distract him failed miserably as I felt him pushing my bra up over my breasts. I began begging and pleading again, my eyes squeezed shut as he slipped my bra all the way up my arms to where they were bound.

  “Quiet, Jelly,” he demanded.

  My whole body was trembling. When we were kids Duff had made my life a living hell, he'd hurt me, and belittled me, and taken every opportunity to torture me. I now realised that I'd never truly been scared of him up until this moment. He's going to rape me, I realised as I opened my eyes and looked at him though the tears.

  He sat across my legs, preventing me from moving as his dark eyes travelled hungrily over my naked breasts. He bent over and I screamed as loudly as I could as I felt his lips on the flesh of my breast. He bit down hard and I screamed louder.

  “Shut up, Jelly!” he demanded.

  I refused, I can't lose my virginity. Not to him. Not like this. I felt his hand landing a blow across the side of my face and stopped screaming as the pain disoriented me slightly.

  “Jamie! Jamie, are you okay?”

  It was Adam banging on the door. Duff held his hand over my mouth once more. He returned his mouth to my breasts, licking and sucking in a place where only Jason had touched. Jason was meant to be the only one who ever touched me. New tears pushed their way through. I felt so pathetic, so disgusting and so helpless as I writhed in vain beneath him. My heart panged as I thought of how disgusted Jason was going to be with me.

  I felt my insides lurch as Adam gave up banging on the door. No! Please come back. Don't let him do this to me. I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to think of anything but Duff's mouth on my nipple as his free hand explored my torso. I screamed anew against his hand as I felt him shuffle lower down and pull my knickers to one side.

  He slipped his finger inside of me and I was forced to swallow hard as I threw up a little. Stop! Stop! Please stop! Don't do this! My begging was in vain, I couldn't get any words out with his hand over my mouth. He withdrew his finger and looked up at me.

  “I knew you wanted this,” he growled as he wiped his dripping finger over my face. “Look how fucking wet you are.”

  I tried to shake my head the best I could. No, that's not true, I don't want this! I was disgusted by my body's reaction. I don't want this. I screamed into his hand once more and he pushed down hard, crushing my lips against my teeth.

  I watched in horror as he started undoing his zipper. I began a new bout of squirming and writhing, despite the exhaustion that plagued me, but my body barely moved. He forced my legs apart and began lowering himself onto me. I braced myself. I tried to hold my breath, begging my body to let me pass out so I wouldn't have to endure this. I writhed and struggled with everything I had in me. He didn't even budge.

  I heard the door burst open and my eyes opened with it. I watched as if outside my body as Adam pulled Duff off of me. Duff reacted quickly and slammed Adam against the desk. Adam looked winded but managed to land a blow on Duff. I tried to follow their movements the b
est I could but my eyes were blurry and I was in a state of complete panic. I screamed again as I watched Duff slam his fist into Adam's face and force him to the floor.

  Duff stood up, breathing hard. He looked from Adam's body, crumpled on the floor, to me, and back again. He looked furious and I squirmed madly, pulling my legs up to my chest so I could kick him as hard as possible if he came near me again. He stood there, chest rising and falling, and glared at me. I knew he was thinking intensely. I almost cried with relief as he stormed out of the room. I couldn't be completely relieved though, Adam still wasn't moving.

  “Adam? Adam?” I cried, barely recognising my voice. I sounded so weak and pathetic. I breathed a sigh of relief as I heard him groan. “Adam, are you okay?” I blubbered. My head was a mess. I was glad my best friend was alive, but mortified that Duff had hurt him. I was grateful I hadn't been raped, but disgusted at the way he had touched me.

  “Jamie,” Adam groaned, he sounded desperate.

  I watched as he forced himself up from the floor. His face was a mess, he was bleeding pretty heavily. He rushed over to me, grabbing the crocheted blanket and throwing it over me. I was grateful that he'd thought to cover my nakedness. I felt so disgusted by my own body, I didn't want him or anyone else to have to see it. He quickly freed my arms and I pulled myself into a ball and cried my eyes out.

  “Jamie, I'm so sorry,” he moaned, his voice pained. “I should have broken in quicker, I tried... I couldn't... and the lock... and I'm so sorry, Jamie.”

  I could hear his voice cracking and it killed me that he blamed himself.

  “I'm so sorry you got hurt,” I sobbed. “I can never thank you enough, Adam.”

  “Don't worry about me, Jamie, we need to sort you out,” he said gently as he unzipped his hoody and laid it over me.

  I was grateful for the heat, I felt so cold.

  “We need to call the police, Jamie,” he almost whispered.

  “No!” I cried, my eyes shooting open. “Please, Adam, you can't call the police,” I begged. If he called the police, Duff would send the video to my brothers without a doubt, if he hadn't already. I couldn't risk Jason's life like that. I knew Jason would hate me for letting another man touch me but that didn't mean I was willing to put his life at risk.

  “Jamie,” Adam said softly. “We can't let him get away with what he did to you.”

  I could hear the pain in his voice but I shook my head. I had made up my mind. “Please, Adam,” I begged. “You can't call the police, I'm begging you.”

  “It's your call, Jamie,” he sighed gently and I could hear the disapproval in his voice. “I'll ring Jason.” He moved to get up from the bed and I reached out to grab him.

  “Adam, please,” I pleaded. “I can't face Jason right now, I can't have him touching me when... when...” I couldn't bring myself to say it, I could still smell his aftershave on me, feel his hands on my skin. I could feel the soreness where his teeth had bitten into me. I bolted up from the bed, taking the blanket with me. I barely made it into the bathroom in time as my stomach started heaving.

  I don't know how long I stayed there. I'd been dry heaving for a while. I didn't have the energy to stand. Adam approached me cautiously from the doorway. He reached out his arm to help me stand but I recoiled as he touched me. I felt so disgusting, so dirty. I couldn't let him touch me.

  “I... I need to shower,” I said quietly. “Would you stay in my room?”

  I felt pathetic for asking more of him. I knew he must be in pain but I couldn't be alone. I was so scared and disoriented. I needed to know somebody was close by.

  “I'll be right here,” he said gently, pulling the door but not letting it close completely. It took all my energy but eventually I managed to crawl into the shower cubicle and pull the water on.

  The water had long since turned cold but I stayed under the stream as it pounded against my body. I didn't mind the cold, it had made my skin numb and I didn't want to be able to feel anything.

  “Jamie?” Adam said softly from the other side of the door. “Maybe you should come out and get warmed up.”

  I didn't answer, I didn't have any energy to move or speak.

  “There's some clean clothes here,” he said as he pushed them through the door.

  I forced myself out of the shower, my whole body shaking. I felt like I was outside of myself, watching my own movements. My insides were completely empty. I focussed on the process of towelling off, then putting my clothes on. It was all I could do to concentrate on the seconds in front of me, I couldn't let myself think about anything else.

  I kept my eyes on my feet as I shuffled out of the bathroom in my jogging bottoms and jumper. Adam moved towards me cautiously, he'd cleaned up his face a little but he still looked pretty beaten up. He held his arms out cautiously and I knew he was asking for my permission to hug me. I nodded slowly and he pulled me against him. I couldn't hug back, I just stood there as he held me.

  “You're freezing,” he whispered.

  He tried to pull me onto the bed but I couldn't lie there... I couldn't be on that bed where he'd almost... I couldn't do it.

  “Want to come into my room?” He asked gently.

  I nodded and followed him into his room. He pulled back the cover and wrapped it round me as I sat on his bed.

  “You want me to make you a cup of tea?”

  “I don't want to be alone,” I croaked.

  He nodded and came to sit down next to me.

  “I'm here if you need someone to talk to, Jamie,” he said gently.

  When I didn't answer he leant over and fiddled with his laptop.

  “I thought maybe we could watch that film now?”

  I nodded, anything was better than thinking. I just wanted to turn off, curl up, and wake up and find out this had all been some terrible dream. Adam put 'Meet the Robinsons' on and I pulled my body into a ball on his bed with him behind me.

  “I'm so sorry, Adam,” I whispered.

  “You've got nothing to be sorry for, Jamie,” he whispered back, wrapping his arm around me.

  “You're hurt,” I said, hating the lack of emotion in my voice.

  “It's nothing, I'm just sorry I didn't get there sooner,” he said sadly.

  “If you hadn't been there...” I started, unable to finish.

  “Don't think about it, Jamie,” he whispered, wrapping his arm around me more tightly.

  Chapter 36

  Saturday, 18th November 2012

  At some point I must have drifted off to sleep. I had nightmares; I kept reliving everything over and over in my sleep. I woke up screaming and Adam was there every time, he held me and stroked my hair until I fell asleep only to repeat the process over again.

  When I woke up the final time, it was morning. My body was aching everywhere and my head felt like it weighed a tonne. I was exhausted. I sat up on the bed and Adam woke up next to me. He didn't look so great either. He had a band of bruising across his nose and under his eyes, his lip was split, and he didn't look like he'd slept much.

  “Morning, Shorty,” he said gently.

  “Morning,” I whispered.

  I glanced at his clock, it was just after half past eight. I panicked as I realised Jason would probably be arriving any minute.

  “Jason,” I choked, feeling tears forming in my eyes. I can't see him, I can't let him look at me, he'll be so disgusted. He's going to hate me.

  “What time is he coming?” Adam asked quietly.

  “Any minute now,” I croaked, my voice breaking.

  “Do you want me to talk to him?” He asked kindly. “Before he comes in.”

  “I can't see him,” I shook my head. “Can you send him away?” I looked at Adam in desperation. I could see that he didn't agree with me, but I needed him to do this for me. I couldn't face Jason, not once he knew what I'd done.

  “I should go down and see if he needs letting in,” Adam said gently. “Eric and Bradley are home now, I heard them get back this morning. Wil
l you be okay on your own in here for a few minutes.”

  I nodded and lay back down in his bed and pulled the duvet over me as I crawled into a ball. I closed my eyes and I heard Adam shut the door behind him.

  My eyes snapped open when I heard the door opening again. I glanced over and felt sick as I watched Jason storming in. He looked terrified. No, no, no. He can't be here.

  “Jamie,” he cried, slightly out of breath.

  He rushed over to me and I shrank away from him, pulling my body into the corner of the bed against the wall and shaking my head at him. The tears were building in my still sore eyes. He can't be here.

  “Jamie, please,” Jason begged. “I'm so sorry, baby.” He sounded so pained, so hurt. I've hurt him so badly.

  “I should have been here, I should never have left you alone like that,” he choked. He wouldn't let up, he pulled me away from the corner and lifted me into his lap. He held me tight, my head against his chest and his scent filling my nostrils. He was so warm and smelt so familiar. He rocked back and forth gently as he held me, soothing me whilst the tears spilt out in unrelenting waves.

  “I'm here, baby,” he soothed as the tears finally slowed.

  “I'm so sorry, Jason,” I sobbed.

  “You haven't done anything wrong,” he said firmly, holding me against him.

  “I feel so disgusting,” I bawled.

  “You are the furthest possible thing from disgusting, Jamie,” he said, tilting my head up towards him.

  I kept my eyes down, I couldn't bring myself to look at him.

  “Jamie, look at me, please,” he begged, his voice cracking.

  I forced myself to look up at him and I could see the pained expression on his face. He looked angry and distraught and maybe even a little scared, all at the same time.

  “This wasn't your fault,” he said firmly. “I don't blame you, baby.”

  I laughed pathetically in between my sobs. “You always know what I'm thinking.” I managed a weak smile.

  “Not always,” he smiled sadly.

  There was a knock at the door and Adam came in with a tray of tea and a stack of toast. He popped it down on the desk and hovered nervously. It seemed he was unsure if he should be there.