As I drift off to sleep, my dreams are filled with him. Nights are my favourite time of the day now, because I can indulge in him while I sleep.
Elliot
Waking with a start, it takes me a moment to realise where I am. I was just having the most vivid dream where I was searching for Paige but every time I found her, she’d turn around, and it would be someone else. I slide my fingers through my hair. I haven’t had it cut since Paige did it nearly six months ago. I can’t believe it’s been so long, it feels like it only happened yesterday.
I only have a couple of hours left on this flight before I’m there. Jolene has agreed to pick me up from the airport, so I don’t have to catch a cab this time. They don’t have a spare bed, but everyone is fine with me taking the couch for a couple of days until I sort something else out.
Paige
My alarm sounds and I roll out of bed, yawning and stretching the kinks out of my back. It’s time to get ready for work. I don’t feel much like using a lot of product so I twist my hair up in a bun and pull some curls down to frame my face, before I apply some moisturiser, mascara and lip gloss.
I wear my black work pants, a white fitted singlet top and a grey asymmetrical cardigan that hangs long in the front and short in the back. Grabbing my keys and the salon keys, I get in my car and head off to work. It’s my morning to open and prep the salon today, so I pick up some breakfast on the way and eat it there.
Elliot
“Well, hello stranger!” Jolene calls out to me as I wheel my bags towards her.
“Hi Jolene, thanks a lot for coming to collect me,” I say, she leans up and gives me a friendly hug hello and kisses my cheek.
“It’s no trouble, I got picked up when I arrived, so it’s kind of a karmic thing to pay it forward,” she explains.
Driving to the flat is kind of surreal after being back in Sydney, but it feels like I’m going home. The big letdown is that Paige won’t be there, but I feel so sure that I’ll find her. I realised on the plane that she would have needed to find another job, and that means she would most likely have used Andrea as a reference.
The first thing I do after setting down my bags and saying a quick hello to all the house mates, is hand over the bag of Tim Tams I brought with me and then take a walk to Stylz.
Paige
It’s almost lunch time, and I’m so close to finishing the extensions in my client’s hair. This has been a very labour intensive morning, and I’m looking forward to the half hour I get to eat and sit down. I’m working with three other stylists today, and we’re booked fairly solid all day long so besides my break. I won’t be getting much time to rest my legs.
Finally finished with the extensions, I style my client’s hair to blend in the new hair in with the old. The sound of the blow dryer muffles the voice of Brooke, one of the other stylists, as she speaks to me.
“Paige!” she calls over the top of it.
I shut the dryer off so I can hear her. “Sorry,” I say turning to face her. “What’s u– ” I don’t need her to tell me because he’s the only thing I can see when I look up. I shove the dryer into Brooke’s hand and mumble something about needing to do something incredibly vague.
Wrapping my cardigan around my middle, I walk towards him, not entirely certain that this isn’t some sort of dream.
“You’re here!” I exclaim, not really sure what else to say. I want to jump into his arms and kiss him, but I don’t know if I can.
Elliot
Paige is standing in front of me, staring at me like I’m some kind of apparition. “I really thought you’d be harder to find,” I tell her. “One quick conversation with Andrea and here I am.”
She looks me up and down, her arms wrapped around her waist defensively. “Here you are.”
I hold out my hand to her, craving her touch. “Can we go and talk?” I ask gently. She looks at my hand like she did that time on the plane, like she’s really unsure as to whether she should take it or not. Just like I did six months ago I tell her, “I’m not going to bite.”
She keeps one arm round her waist as she slips the other one in my hand. The moment we touch again I get this charge travelling through my body that reignites the life that I've felt lacking since I left her here.
Paige
I've become all heady being near him, and I can’t really think straight. I'm just kind of following along blindly behind him, not questioning where we’re going.
“Stop!” I say suddenly snapping myself out of it.
“What? What’s the problem?”
“What are we doing? Why are you here?” I ask. The last thing I expected this morning was to see him. This is all so surreal; I don’t know how to act, or what to say.
He stops and takes a step towards me, hooking his finger under my chin and tilting my head towards him. “I’m here for you,” he whispers as he brushes his lips against mine, shivers run through my body as I forget what I did to him and my guard falls away. I whimper a little against his mouth as I part my lips and allow his tongue access. Oh, how I’ve missed the feel of him in my mouth! The taste of his tongue as it slides sensuously with mine! I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my body against him as want takes over my senses.
Elliot
I’m lost in the sensation of her mouth as I pull her closer to me, our bodies meld together, and I can’t help but notice a … bump? My eyes pop open and I immediately stop kissing.
Staring at Paige’s face as she slowly opens her eyes I slide my hands around to her waist and over the firm mound that is now where her flat stomach used to be. Her eyes widen as she jumps away from me and wraps her cardigan back around her waist, trying to cover up.
I shake my head, “No, no, no, do not cover that up.”
She releases her cardigan, and it falls either side of her protruding bump. I look from it to her, pointing at it as I ask, “At what point, were you planning on telling me about that!?”
Her lip starts quivering and her eyes fill with tears, “I…I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t want you to feel like you had to come back. It doesn’t have to be your problem.”
“What!? How can you say that? How could you keep this from me? This is my child -right?” I glare at her, still pointing at her stomach. She squeezes her eyes shut and tears start to roll down her face as she nods quickly.
“Yes it’s yours,” she barely even whispers.
I stand there and glare at her, trying to think of what to say without ruining everything completely, feeling so hurt and angry right now.
I close my eyes and press the pads of my thumb and index fingers against them, “What time do you finish work?” I say as calmly as I can.
“Six,” she answers.
“Alright,” I say as I nod my head and walk away from her. I need some time to deal with this. I need some time to calm down.
“Elliot!” she calls after me. I shake my head without turning around. “I’m sorry!” she calls after me. I put my hands on my head, it seems to be the only thing I can do right now to stop it from exploding. What the hell just happened?
Chapter 33
Paige
He’s waiting for me when I walk out of the salon, standing up against the wall with a stormy look on his face. I don’t say anything to him, I just stand in front of him, then incline my head to tell him to come with me.
He walks beside me with his hands in his pockets and his brows tightly knit together. As we get into my car, we still haven’t spoken and continue on that way until we arrive at my flat. I let us in through the front door and hang my bag and keys up by the door, before leading the way to the living area where he pauses, looking around quietly.
I move about the kitchen preparing some tea and sandwiches. I don’t drink coffee at the moment, and since it’s usually only me or my mother and Daniel, tea is all I have.
When I walk out holding the tray, he looks up at me, a framed photo of he and I together in his hand.
“Is
it strange that I have them up?” I ask him as he places the frame back on the bookcase and moves quickly to take the tray from my hands.
Shaking his head he says, “You should have seen the wall in my bedroom while I was home. I had this whole collage thing going on.” Giving me a sad smile, he carries the tray over to the coffee table in front of the couch and sets it down.
He clears his throat, “This is all very English of you,” he points out, as we sit next to each other on the couch. I laugh a little through my nose and take a sip of tea, enjoying the warmth of the liquid as it slides down my throat. I don’t know what to say, I finally have him here with me, and I’m really not sure how to act. I want everything to be exactly how it was before. I want to touch him, kiss him, be with him. But instead I’m sitting here, sipping tea.
“When were you going to tell me Paige?”
I place my mug back on the tray and turn towards him, meeting his eyes. “Soon, Elliot, I was going to tell you soon.”
“How soon? Tomorrow? When the baby was born? When it was 20 and came looking for me? When?”
“Elliot, I understand that you’re upset with me, I haven’t handled things very well between us at all. But please understand that I didn’t want you to feel obligated to come back to me. If you were going to do it - I wanted you to do it on your own. I was going to tell you very soon, I was just… waiting, I guess.”
“So you were testing me?” he asks.
“No… I don’t know. I just needed to know that you weren’t with me solely for the sake of the baby, I needed to know that if you came back it was because it was me you wanted. I didn’t want to trap you.”
“Why wouldn’t you at least talk to me? You’ve shut me out for months Paige.”
“I wanted to Elliot. I wanted to talk to you; I even went to see you at the airport before you left – but I was too late. After that, I spoke to you once, but you were drunk – do you remember that? You yelled at me, told me that you were coming back, and that I had to deal with it, then you hung up on me.”
He frowned, looking slightly confused, “I don’t remember that part,” he says, “I remember calling you. I remember you saying you loved me, but I don’t remember what happened after that. I’m sorry for yelling at you.”
“No Elliot, I deserved to be yelled at, but after that, I thought that I should give you time away from me, to sort out how you really feel. When we’re together, for me - it’s like the rest of the world doesn’t even exist, I can ignore all the shit in my life – pretend it’s not even there, and it’s wonderful.” I rub my hands over my face, “God, I’m not explaining myself very well – I… I didn’t contact you because you’re all I can think about, and I needed to deal with my own crap for a little while… I’m sorry… I’m just really sorry it’s all played out like this.”
“Paige. I want to make something very clear right now – I love you, I came back for you. I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you; do you understand that?”
“Elliot I – “
“Don’t, I’m not finished Paige. I need you to understand that I am with you no matter what. I need you to stop making decisions for me. I need you to let me in- to trust me. I have chosen you Paige, you – and nothing is going to change my mind. The fact that we have made a baby together blows my mind. I am angry with you because if you had trusted me in the first place, we would have gone through this entire pregnancy together, but as it is, I have already missed, what? Half of it? That’s so unfair Paige, I get that you needed time to get your head right – but this is our baby we’re talking about here.”
“I’m sorry Elliot! I’m so, so sorry. I know now that I should have trusted you, I should have told you the truth, I should have told you everything about me long before it was time for you to leave. But I was so scared that once you found out about Phoenix that you wouldn’t love me anymore, I didn’t think anyone could ever love me after everything I’ve done. I was selfish, and I just wanted as much time with you as I could get before I told you the truth. I thought it would chase you away. I thought you’d hate me for what I was.”
“Do you know what I hate Paige? I hate that you got put in the situation where all of those things happened to you. I hate that your parents didn’t fight for you. I hate that you have had to deal with everything on your own, and I hate that you thought no one could love you because of it.”
“I know I’ve hurt you, and I feel like I’ve ruined everything for us Elliot. Can you ever forgive me?”
Elliot
She’s sitting next to me, pleading with me to forgive her and the fact of the matter is, I would forgive her anything. I really do love her that much. I reach over and tenderly touch the swell of her stomach, noticing how she closes her eyes, likes she’s been longing for me to touch her for longer than I’ve even wanted to.
“I came back for you,” I say again as I gently brush my fingertips over her cheek and lean in to kiss her. The moment our lips meet, I’m overwhelmed with need and longing as I pull her closer to me until she's in my lap, straddling me.
It’s like all the time apart from each other just falls away as our mouths move zealously together, and I’m right back where I was. I need this woman. I need her like I need air to breathe, and I’ll be damned if I ever let her go again.
I stand up, carrying her with her legs wrapped around my middle. “Bedroom,” I say breathless between kisses. She points to a door next to the kitchen, and I carry her in there, kissing her all the way. I don’t want to lose the connection our bodies have right now.
She lowers her legs once I cross the threshold of her room and starts to slide my shirt up, urging me to take it off. I comply and lift if over my head, dropping it on the floor where we stand. Running her hands over my torso, she plants soft kisses over my pecs and along my jaw.
I reach up and pull the clip from her hair, my chest constricting as I watch it fall around her shoulders in a mass of twisted curls.
“God, you’re beautiful,” I breathe before I crash my mouth into hers, devouring her, breathing her in. I slide her cardigan down her arms until it drops at her feet and then lift her singlet. She raises her arms as I slide it up her body, delighting in the feel of her skin as my hands brush her body, and fling it over my shoulder.
Paige
His eyes travel over my torso and land on my swollen breasts. “Whoa,” he says, reaching around me to unhook my bra with deft fingers. I let it slide down my arms to the floor and watch Elliot’s face as he takes in my changed body.
Starting at my waist, he slides his hands gently over each breast, kissing me lightly as he travels down my body, dropping to his knees. With feather light fingers he touches the swell of my belly and peppers my bump with kisses.
My heart aches with the love I have for this man, I marvel that the fates saw fit to bring him to me – I never, not even for a moment thought I would ever have this, but here it is right in front of me, hooking his fingers into the waist of my pants as he slides them down my legs and guides me, so I’m lying on the bed in front of him.
Dipping his head down, he flicks his tongue over my clit, causing me to gasp out. His eyes meet mine for a moment as he moans and dives his mouth between my legs, sucking and swirling his tongue around my clit, filling my body with a flood of orgasmic energy. I’m already on the edge when his fingers enter me, the sensations of his fingers sliding over my tender flesh cause me to burst, my body automatically thrusts my hips around his mouth, and I clutch at his hair, gripping tighter than I should as I yell out, over and over.
He stills his movement and I slowly release the grip of my thighs and hands, so he can sit up. He wipes at his mouth and kisses his way back up my body, swirling his tongue around my nipples when he reaches my breasts, all I have the energy to produce are short, shallow gasps as he touches and teases me.
Kissing at my neck he asks in a whisper, “Are you still allowed to…move on?”
“What? Oh – the baby; yes!… yes, keep goi
ng, please keep going,” I beg, desperately wanting him inside me.
Elliot
Getting the go ahead, I stand up and take my wallet out of my jeans before removing them as I take out a condom. Paige is lying on the bed positioned, and waiting, watching me as I move. “What’s the point?” she says when she spots the condom.
I raise my eyebrows and flick the foil package aside as I realise it’s not needed, before I climb on top of her, kissing her as I enter her warm, wet body. It feels amazing as she envelops me, and I start to move inside her. I have missed her so much, and I don’t have the restraint in me after three months to hold on much longer, I want this to last, but it’s too good.
“Oh god Elliot! It’s too good!” she calls out as she’s wracked with another orgasm, her clenching insides milking me of mine as I pulse inside her, moving slowly to drag out every glorious feeling of being back inside her. I sit back, still inside her and run my fingers down her body and over the bump that holds our baby.
“So when do you think we made this? At the bed and breakfast?” I ask.
“No, it would have been that first time we were together, when we got carried away and forgot the condom, remember?”
“I remember,” I whisper, meeting her eyes. She’s smiling at me with trembling lips as tears tumble from her eyes. I reach back and grab the towel she has hanging over the end of her bed and place it between her legs as I withdraw so I can lay next to her and take her in my arms.
“I’m so sorry, Elliot. I'm so sorry for everything I put you through,” she cries as I hug her to my chest.
A tear escapes my own eye and slides toward my ear as I hold her. “Don’t be sorry Paige, just don’t leave me again.”
“I won’t Elliot. I promise I won’t.”
Chapter 34
Paige
Sitting in the waiting area of the hospital a few days later, I watch as Elliot nervously bounces his leg and skims through a magazine. He flicks it back on the table and huffs out his breath. “How long is this going to take?” he asks impatiently.
A Beautiful Forever Page 20