Writer's Block

by Kluivert Galea

  Both of them walked up to the group. Ron and Eric were preparing to ride the Love Machine, with their girlfriends, of course.

  “They didn’t really think that name through, did they?” laughed Kraig, while looking at the sign, “Well, you guys want to do something else? It’s not like I’ll be riding this anytime soon.”

  Gary gave Kate a little nudge with his elbow which Kraig failed to notice, “Fuck off,” she whispered under her breath.

  “Sure thing,” Gary assured her. He turned towards Kraig, “Hey, bud, why don’t you ride it with Kate?”

  “She wouldn’t ride something like this with me,” said Kraig with a slight frown and a laugh, while looking at the ground, while trying his best to keep his face neutral.

  “You won’t know till you ask now, will you?” said Gary.

  “Fine, I’ll ask. But if she says no, you owe me a Snickers bar.” Kraig turned to address Kate, who was a few spaces back, “Do you want to ride this with me, Kate?”

  “What? No, of course not,” Kate was caught off guard and reacted in confusion. She regretted saying no and she stayed up that night lamenting on her mistake and cursing at herself.

  Meanwhile, Kraig was expecting that answer, but that didn’t stop him from having his heart crushed just a little bit. Rejection, in all forms hurt him, but more so when it came from girls (more so from someone that he sort of maybe just kind of possibly liked… maybe). Even though the answer made him somewhat sad, he didn’t show it though.

  “I want that Snickers,” said Kraig.

  Gary gave him a strange look and an even stranger one to Kate, “Are you serious?” he mouthed when Kraig wasn’t looking.

  “I panicked,” she said.

  The three of them watched their friends get on the ride, it was close to the ground with karts moving in a circular motion with heart shaped lights being directed on the riders. It started spinning as soon as everyone was buckled down.

  “What’s up, pussies?” yelled Eric from the ride, as they passed Gary, Kraig and Kate.

  “God damn it, don’t yell that in the middle of the carnival,” Kraig said as if he, Eric, could hear him. Now even though he was nowhere to be seen as he passed into the tunnel, Kraig put his palms to his face, “I’m famished, man. Can we go get some wraps or something?”

  “We’ll go as soon as the others get off the ride,” replied Gary. He felt a buzz coming from his pocket and grabbed his phone. It was a message from his father.

  “You’re in, bud, I’m so proud of you! I’ll give you the details once you get home,” it read. He recalled his previous conversation with Kate, as to why he wanted them together. Or maybe I just want to make someone happy before I go, he thought

  “Hey,” Kraig waved his hand in front of Gary who was messaging his father back, “They’re off. Come on, let’s go get something to eat.”

  They all got off the ride smiling and made their way towards the rest of their friends.

  “Man, I wish I could cook something right now, I’m famished,” said Ron.

  “That’s why take-away places exist, to you know, eat and supply food when you’re out and can’t make your own?” said Kraig.

  “Okay, jackass,” said Ron, giving him a slight jab to the arm.

  “Again with the punches,” sighed Kraig.

  Ron took Emma’s hand once more and Eric took Anna’s. Gary walked with Eric and Ron. Kraig and Kate walked together, slightly behind the rest (the sneaky devils in front made sure to keep them walking together).

  As they walked towards the Turkish takeaway place, Kraig began to feel an emptiness slowly seep its way into his gut. It always hit at times like these, the good times, that’s what made it that much worse.

  As soon as they got to the place, Kraig bought water, told Gary his order, handed him five euros and quickly hurried to the bathroom. He grabbed his medicine from a little pocket inside his wallet, made sure it was time to take them and swallowed them. He didn’t want the rest to see him, he feared that they’d judge him for it.

  When he emerged from the bathroom, Gary had placed his order and they took a seat at a large table that they made by moving two smaller ones together, and so they spent a few minutes exchanging words.

  Anna talked about her love for Tim Burton, Emma talked about her dog, Eric talked about his love for the Elder Scrolls series, Ron talked about how much he loved God of War, Gary talked about recent news in football, Kraig talked about his love for the ‘Professor Layton’ series and finally there was Kate, who talked about her love for animation and more specifically, Cowboy Bepop.

  It was a great night for all of them. They enjoyed the food and once the time came when they decided to head back, almost everyone left with a smile.

  Except for Kate.

  Who still regretted not saying yes.

  Kraig woke up early the following day. He was still tired but he knew there was work to be done. I say work, but the only thing he really had to do was his homework, but he still felt overburdened by the task.

  The Saturday morning sun beamed in from the window and illuminated his room in a twilight sort of manner. He slid his hand across his bedside cabinet, trying to find his glasses. He put them on and got out of bed, he didn’t even bother to make it. He knocked and entered his mother’s bedroom. She was awake, listening to some music softly in bed. She looked pale.

  “Hey, sweetie, I need a favour. Do you mind doing the shopping today? I’m feeling a bit under the weather,” she said.

  “Sure, no problem,” he replied.

  “Take the money out from my purse. There’s also a list on the table.”

  “I’ll take care of it,” he said. He went back into his bedroom and switched out of his sleeping clothes and put on something casual.

  He grabbed his money, put his hood on and went on his way. He arrived at the store and bought everything on the list. He felt anxious being around so many people, but the effects were just a tiny bit less worse than they had been before. He started to walk back home, when he heard a low, whimpering noise. As he got closer to it, he noticed that it was a dog who was whimpering in front of a closed pet store, PetStop.

  Kraig felt bad for the animal, he felt sympathetic towards the beast. He walked closer to the dog and squatted down. He extended his hand towards the dog, the dog backed away slowly, still making a whimpering noise.

  “It’s okay, boy,” Kraig told him, hoping that he would understand him. He reached into his shopping bag and pulled out some ham slices. The storeowner was good friends with his mother, she was a regular there, so she gave him a little bit extra on the house. He figured they’d have enough even if he gave the dog the extra slices.

  Kraig got a slice and cut a piece off and held it in the palm of his hand. “It’s alright, boy,” he said softly, looking the animal in the eyes. He stuck his hand out further and the dog slowly approached him and then began to eat the ham from his hand. Kraig cut off another piece and held his hand out once more, the dog approached him again. Kraig reached forward towards the dog, however, he still moved back, although this time not as much. Kraig tried again and this time, the dog didn’t move and Kraig managed to put one hand on his head. He stroked it gently, smiling towards the dog, then he cut off another piece.

  “I’m surprised you fed him.”

  The voice came from behind him. He saw an elderly man, probably in his mid-fifties, standing behind him. He was wearing a red vest with the ‘PetStop’ logo on the right and a nametag on the left. Kraig noted his name, George.

  “Why’s that?” Kraig asked the man standing over him.

  “Most people assume he’s vicious,” said the man, looking down at the squatting kid before him who was giving the dog another piece.

  “Just because he’s a Pit-bull?” asked Kraig.

  “Yes,” George replied, “Damn shame, let me tell you. He’s a gentle soul, still pretty young too. Can’t figure out how someone could let go of such a good companion. I found him tied up in
front of the store one morning; no note, no nothing, he was just there. I tried to bring him inside, but he always runs out and comes back here. He doesn’t really get along with the other dogs; he’s a tad too timid, so I can’t really take him home either. The most I could do was leave him a bed and a blanket out here and feed him.”

  George paused for a second and took a drag from his pipe, he blew a cloud of smoke, before continuing, “That’s the gist of it, anyway. People just assume he’s vicious because they see him in the streets and he happens to be a Pit-bull, idiots, all of them. It put a smile on my face seeing you feed him this morning, made me realise there are still some good hearts in the world, hell I think the dog likes you too. He usually runs away from everyone, including me. Poor fella just needs love and a home, he’s a truly gentle soul, shame no one is able to look past his exterior and raise him.”

  Kraig took a long look at the dog, he was definitely a beautiful beast. He was black all over, with a sash of white running from his belly to his neck. It was strange, what Kraig felt looking at the animal in front of him, he empathised more with the stray animal than he had ever empathised with any other woman or man he had met. You just want someone to look past your exterior, huh? he thought.

  Kraig finally got home from doing the shopping, he opened the door to his apartment and put the bags on the kitchen table where he found his mother eating (or drinking?) some chicken noodle soup, she was looking slightly better. Catherine looked at her son stupefied, but her expression quickly changed into one of curiosity, as if it meant to ask him what was going on.

  “Well, he’s definitely a beauty,” exclaimed his mother in a groggy voice, her nose still stuffed, “What’s his name?”

  “He doesn’t have one yet, but I was thinking of naming him Duke. Can we keep him? I know this is really sudden and stupid but I couldn’t call. I left my phone—”

  “Sure,” Catherine assured her son as she smiled. “We can keep him. We could use the company.”

  “Great!” exclaimed Kraig, “The man from the pet store gave me a collar, leash and…” Kraig walked halfway out of the apartment door which was visible from the kitchen, he twisted to the right of the door to pick something outside of Catherine’s vision. “He gave me a bed!” he said happily.

  Kraig felt overjoyed that he could keep Duke, he smiled so much that day that his jaws began to hurt, it had been quite a while since that happened. His mother loved seeing him smile so she let him keep Duke for that reason, first and foremost, but she also wanted the dog, she liked him.

  Kraig slept happy that night, really happy. Even he slept peacefully.

  “Holy fucking shit, guys, holy fuck balls. You won’t believe what I found yesterday,” Kraig started talking in an overly excited manner as soon as he arrived near his friends at the canteen. He tried to catch his breath; he grabbed his knees and took a deep breath in, in his excitement he had sprinted over to them.

  “A five-euro note?” asked Eric, unsure of what a man could find to make him so happy.

  “Even better. I found a dog, I have a fucking dog now. Jesus Christ, I’m so happy right now, like, do you have any idea how much I love dogs? They’re the greatest thing to ever exist and I have one now, his name is Duke and he’s the best. Jesus Christ, I can’t wait to go to the vet to get him chipped and to walk him and—”

  “Can I meet him?” asked Kate.

  “Meet him?” Kraig paused for a second, “Well, you should know that he’s a pit-bull but please, don’t let that discourage you. He’s actually a really gentle soul.”

  “I’d love to meet him, nonetheless, I’m sure he’s great!” she said with a smile, and Kraig replied with another smile; one that they had never seen before, a radiant, beautiful smile, showing nothing but true happiness. It stood in stark contrast to his usual demeanour, all of them were surprised that he was actually hiding such a beautiful smile underneath.

  “I have to get to philosophy, I’ll plan everything with you later,” and with that Kraig scurried off to class.

  All the others turned their attention towards Kate and they all stood staring at her.

  “What?” she asked, feeling uncomfortable by all the smug looks.

  “You made him smile,” said Gary.

  “I think it was the dog,” she replied nervously.

  “Maybe both,” he said, laughing.

  Chapter 4

  Come Together

  Kate rang the doorbell, the door flung open immediately, as if Kraig was waiting.

  “That was quick,” remarked Kate, looking surprised.

  “I don’t like to keep people waiting,” said Kraig, as he reached for his hood to put it on.

  “There’s no sun, major wind, or cold, why are you putting that on?” said Kate.

  “The less people see my face, the better,” he said with his hood on.

  Kate pushed off his hood, “No, you’re going to show your pretty face to the world today.”

  “I wouldn’t call it pre—”

  Kate cut him off by placing a finger on his lips, “Shh, you’re beautiful, the hood’s staying down.”

  She laughed and glanced at his feet and knelt down on her right knee. “And who is this cute little fella?” she said, petting Duke as he excitedly tried to climb on top her left leg with his front legs on her leg and his back legs on the ground. It had been a couple of days since Kraig got Duke, he looked better. Everything from his complexion to his mood, they were both brighter.

  “Don’t forget the bags!”

  Kraig looked behind him and saw his mother coming down the stairs, holding a plastic bag in her hand. Catherine extended a hand to Kate and shook her hand. “It’s nice to meet you,” she said.

  “It’s nice to meet you too,” said Kate, “It’s great to finally meet you in person. Kraig is always going on about how great you are.”

  “He was always a Mama’s boy,” said Catherine with a slight laugh.

  “Well, we’ll get on our way,” he said, feeling slightly embarrassed.

  Catherine knelt down and petted Duke on his head, “You, behave now.” She gave him a kiss on his head and went back into the apartment.

  They had been walking for a good minute or two. “So,” Kate said, finally breaking the awkward silence that had instilled itself for the last couple of metres, “How’d you find Duke, anyway?”

  Kraig told her everything, starting from waking up that morning up until he introduced Duke to his mother. Kate found his child-like giggly excitement adorable. She didn’t know that behind his layers of endless jokes, he was also capable of… whatever this was. How had she managed to forget that you shouldn’t take anyone at face value? Kate was eager to get to know him better though, she knew a little, but she figured there was a lot more to know.

  “So, how’d you meet Gary, anyway?” she asked.

  “We used to go to secondary school together. We didn’t really speak much back then, but now I can say that he’s pretty cool. I’ve been playing a shit ton of Overwatch with him, Ron and Eric these past few months, among other things.”

  “I hope you weren’t having any LAN parties without me,” she laughed.

  “Wait, you play too? You look more like the ‘party every weekend’ type… no offense,” he said.

  Kate punched him lightly on his arm. “No, I don’t,” she said, “I can’t stand parties.”

  “If you say so,” said Kraig. “If we ever do something like that, I’ll make sure to inv—and he’s taking a shit.”

  Kraig turned to Duke, who was taking a dump in the middle of the sidewalk. Kraig picked it up with the small plastic bag and threw it away in a nearby designated bin, “That’s an accurate representation of my love life,” he said, as he opened the lid and dropped it in.

  “That’s sad,” remarked Kate, somewhere between laughing at his joke and feeling genuinely bad.

  “It’s just a joke, don’t worry,” he said, noticing her sympathetic expression, “I’ve got my little buddy no
w, don’t I?”

  Kraig cupped Duke’s face and gave him a kiss on his head and scratched behind his ears, Duke kicked the ground in excitement. “He’s such a precious goofball of cute,” said Kraig, watching Duke with gleeful eyes. Both of them kept walking Duke for some more time, Kraig figured Duke could use the exercise.

  “You really love dogs, don’t you?” said Kate, happily watching Kraig be, well, happy.

  “Are you kidding? They’re the best. You feed them and take care of them and love them and then they’ll love you back for their whole lives and they’re just so great, you know, because they appreciate the effort you put in for them and they won’t ever betray you, like shitty human beings.”

  “You okay there?” asked Kate with a slight chuckle, although sure that he spoke from experience.

  After walking together some more, they came to a local park not too far away from Kraig’s house. They sat on a bench, with brown leaves from the above tree sometimes falling onto their shoulders.

  Kate looked Kraig in his eyes, Kraig quickly looked away but Kate kept staring. Kraig sunk his head, his smile faded and the light in his eyes diminished, he petted Duke on the head and finally spoke.

  “There’s quite a long story to how I stopped writing,” he said.

  Kate’s eyes widened, she wasn’t expecting Kraig to tell her anything about his past, let alone at that very moment. Kraig took a look at Kate, as if to reassure himself that she was listening before continuing, but for the remainder of the tale, his eyes remained fixed on Duke.

  He took a deep sigh, “Everyone wants to be special, you know? We all strive for it, to do something great, something to stand out from the crowd, or at least, something that’ll make us happy and complete, that’s what I think, anyway. For me, that thing was writing. I felt like maybe I could make something great with it, and I honestly loved it. I even dabbled in poetry from time to time, literature was great for expressing what I feel; it was a way to vent, a way to pick myself up. It was almost therapeutic and for a while, I thought that maybe it would lead somewhere. I even had a couple of stories published in the school magazine but…” Kraig hesitated