Silent Heart

by Susan Simone

  ‘Remind me to teach you to spell,’ I commented.

  “You can spell with your hands?”

  ‘Bear and I figured that out when he taught me to read. Does her name look like anything?’

  “It’s a flower… like a purple daisy.”

  ‘Aster.’

  “Aster, my aunt.” She watched us confused and eyed me warily. “Paige is deaf,” he explained. I blushed a little. I had never been embarrassed of my deafness, I truly didn’t know what I was missing, but his blunt introduction took me by surprise. I hadn’t realized that people had been protecting me from reactions all my life.

  ‘Nice to meet you,’ I held out my hand. She took it and turned to Stone.

  “Tell her it’s nice to meet her too,” she said.

  “You can talk to her, Aster. She’s not slow or anything.” I caught myself smiling at his defense.

  “Well, what can I do for you this trip?” she asked smoothing her apron.

  “We need a room for tonight and some of your famous stew.”

  “One room?” she raised her eyebrows.

  “We’re being pursued. I’m trying to hide under their noses.”

  “How far out are they?”

  “Less than a day in front or behind.”

  “So they may stop here.”

  “They may,” he sighed.

  “Can I ask what is going on?”

  “Murder witness. We can’t stay in separate rooms. Put us on the books as a married couple.”

  “Does she know you intend that?”

  “She knows.” Aster turned around and pulled a key off the wall.

  “I’ll set you up in 27. Dinner is at 6, and I’ll have someone set you up a bath in the mean time,” she said scrunching up her nose.

  “Thank you Aunt Aster,” he laughed. She turned away from us and said something that had Stone in fits of laughter. He refused to translate.

  Twelve

  The room was small and furnished with only a desk, a small wooden chair and a bed made up with fresh white linens. I sat down gratefully and took my shoes off while Stone inspected every inch of it. Someone knocked on the door making the bed shiver slightly and the maids came in with the wash tub and pot after pot of steaming water. Stone gestured to me while they worked carefully not speaking.

  ‘I don’t want you to leave this room without me,’ he ordered. ‘If I leave, keep the door locked and don’t open it for anything. I’ll keep the only key.’

  ‘But what if I’m outside and I need in?’

  ‘That’s not going to happen,’ he smiled.

  ‘Well I’m not going to watch you bathe.’

  ‘You go first. I’ll sit outside the door. Just knock when it’s safe to come in.’

  ‘What about you?’

  ‘You can look out the window where I can see you and make sure you don’t peek.’

  ‘No. No I’m not staying in here while you bathe. It’s…indecent.’

  ‘Indecent?’

  ‘Not proper.’

  ‘Paige we passed indecent days ago. I’m trying to keep you safe and if you can’t hear them coming I have to be in the same room with you. I trust you not to look.’

  ‘Maybe you shouldn’t,’ I said with small hands turning away from him. He caught my shoulder.

  ‘What was that?’

  ‘Nothing. I just don’t feel right about it. Can we at least put up a curtain or something?’

  ‘Would that make you feel better?’

  ‘Yes. I know it’s silly, but…’

  ‘It’s not silly. Inconvenient, but not silly.’

  ‘Inconvenient!’

  ‘This would be a whole lot easier if you were a man, that’s all.’

  ‘Sorry my gender offends you.’

  ‘Paige,’ he took my shoulders before I could turn around on him. ‘Damn it! I know you’re trying to protect your virtue, I understand that, but we don’t have a lot of options. Fold your damn hands and work with me. I’m agreeing with you. Why do you have to fight me, now, after all we’ve been through so far?’

  ‘Sorry,’ I pouted.

  ‘For some reason I don’t believe you. I’ll be outside.’ He left the room slamming the door. I watched the knob turn as he locked it.

  I stripped off my clothes and sank into the hot water taking stock of all my cuts and bruises. Most were minor scrapes from bushes and mountain climbing. Nothing that required serious attention. The bruises from the men in black were fading and almost gone now. I cleaned everything as thoroughly as I could but I didn’t linger. I didn’t want all the hot water to cool before Stone had a chance. I was loathe to put on my dirty travel clothes, but it was all I had. I spot cleaned what I could quickly and let my hair fall over one shoulder to dry.

  Stone looked at me oddly when I let him in. He was still angry but most of the fire was out of his eyes. He scanned me from head to toe a couple of times and I gave him a questioning look.

  ‘You clean up nice,’ he said dismissively and set to hanging a blanket up between the tub and window. I sat and waited, absorbing the colors of the countryside. When he finally emerged he looked wonderful, even in his travel stained clothes. He had found a way to shave and his hair glistened with golden highlights I hadn’t seen before. He had never been this cleaned up since the day I met him. He raised his eyebrows at me and I smiled dumbly, unsure of what I could say.

  ‘Dinner will be ready soon,’ he said and propelled me to the door by the small of my back.

  We sat in stillness at a little table in the middle of the room waiting on our food. The sun was still high enough to feel like afternoon though the edges were just turning pink. Stone sat stoically with his arms crossed across his chest. I was still trying to figure out what happened. We had been getting along so well, and he was right, we had been through a lot to have that kind of fight. It was like all that time on the road was a different world with different rules and now we were back in the real world.

  ‘I‘m sorry,’ I said abruptly, he looked at me mildly. ‘I feel like a burden, okay.’

  ‘Why?’

  ‘Because I’ve been nothing but miserable this whole trip and I asked you to bring me.’

  ‘I would have brought you anyway.’

  ‘Even if I didn’t want to?’

  ‘Kicking and screaming,’ he confirmed. ‘I was relieved when you asked me. And yes you haven’t been easy but I’ve dealt with worse.’

  ‘Then why are you so angry with me?’

  ‘Because you still don’t trust me. Do you know how many chances I’ve had to take advantage of you? I’m a lot stronger than you too, I could have done anything I wanted, but I never once, purposely laid a finger on you!’ he was irate. ‘What do I have to do to prove to you I’m not going to hurt you?’

  ‘Wait, Stone—.’

  ‘I thought we were friends, I thought maybe—.’

  ‘Stone!’ I took his hands. ‘Is that what you think this is about?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘I trust you.’

  ‘Really?’ he said obviously not believing me. ‘Then what was all that about?’

  ‘It’s not important,’ I blushed. ‘Just know I trust you…with my life.’

  ‘No, you’re not getting off that easy. What was going on up there?’

  ‘Nothing. It had nothing to do with me trusting you.’

  ‘Paige,’ he warned.

  ‘Just don’t worry about it. It was silly.’

  ‘I’m not going to let this go. Talk.’

  ‘I didn’t trust me,’ I said with the tiniest hands I could manage. That shocked him to stillness. He stared at me for a long time and I could feel the blood making my face hot. I wondered from some detached part of my mind if blushing made a sound. Even my ears were hot.

  ‘Oh,’ he said finally, a smile slowly forming.

  ‘Oh?’

  ‘Oh.’ I was almost dumbfounded. Aster interrupted us with steaming bowls of meat stew with lots of vegetables. It looked
and smelled wonderful.

  “Now what did you say to the girl?” she asked lightly smacking Stone on the shoulder.

  He rubbed his chin for a minute and said, “I said ‘oh’,” and broke out laughing. I rolled my eyes and pushed my food away completely humiliated.

  “Now don’t let him do that to you,” Aster said actually looking at me while she talked this time. “Just give him a good smack on the head,” and left to attend to her other guests.

  ‘Paige,’ he smiled. ‘Eat. If you get sick again, Bear will haunt me for life.’

  ‘I am so embarrassed.’

  ‘Why?’ I looked at him mildly. ‘It’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Eat.’

  ‘Am I forgiven now?’

  ‘With a compliment like that, yes you are. You just surprised me.’

  ‘Surprised you?’

  ‘I didn’t know you saw me that way,’ he grinned.

  ‘Oh come on. You said yourself, we passed indecent days ago. What did you think I would be thinking about?’ He grinned even brighter.

  ‘Nice to know,’ and he started eating, ignoring my expression completely. I took my bowl grudgingly and ate. The food was as good as it smelled, and the ale was perhaps a little too strong, but nice.

  Stone looked over my shoulder for a long moment.

  ‘What is it?’ I asked.

  ‘A band,’ he shrugged though his eyes were wistful.

  ‘You like music?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Do you dance?’

  ‘Some.’

  ‘Come on,’ I said getting up.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Let’s dance.’ I took his hand and pulled him out of the chair. ‘We’re supposed to be newlyweds let’s at least put on a good show.’

  ‘What do you know of dancing?’

  ‘I dance.’

  ‘How do you listen to the music?’

  ‘I’ll show you,’ I grinned. ‘Translate for me.’

  ‘Don’t I always?’ I pulled him across the floor and walked right up to the little band. They were a small but cheery looking group, only a couple of fiddlers and a flute. The man in front looked at me curiously while tuning his instrument.

  ‘I’m deaf,’ I announced. ‘May I feel you play?’ I smiled my most disarming smile and looked at him hopefully. He blinked listening to Stone’s translation and with a resigned air stepped down off the low stage.

  “What does the lady want to…ah…hear?” he asked Stone.

  ‘Whatever you were going to start with,’ I replied. He bent down slightly so I could reach him and began playing with exaggerated movements. I took Stone’s hand and placed it on the instrument next to mine feeling the vibrations ripple down my arm. I closed my eyes absorbing each nuance of rhythm and the rise and fall of sensation. It was a tactile tapestry rich in color and form. String instruments were always my favorite, they made such wonderful vibrations.

  Satisfied I held up my arms for Stone to take. He held me firm at the small of my back and looked down at my eyes as he spun me onto the dance floor. Really it was just a small clear space in the middle of the room, but it served. Stone moved well, light on his feet and graceful, I hardly had to move at all just following him. I became oblivious to the rest of the room in his embrace. We could have been out in the woods for all I cared, surrounded by a thousand people or none at all. I imagined I knew the story of the song as it pulsed through my heart beat. The music ended and he spun me with a flourish making me laugh.

  ‘How did you do that?’ he asked.

  ‘Sound moves,’ I shrugged. ‘It vibrates. I always imagined that music sounds like the wind feels blowing through your hair on a hot day, or the feel in the air right before lightning strikes, or maybe sometimes the softness of winter’s first snow melting gently on your skin.’

  ‘That’s beautiful,’ he said staring into my eyes. I could have melted away into nothingness in that moment. He looked up for a minute and then smiled back down at me taking me in a dancer’s pose again. He deftly tapped the beat against my back and we were off in a fast two step. There were other dancers this time but I hardly noticed, laughing as he tried to teach me more and more complicated steps. Dancing with him was like music itself, our bodies moving like the wind.

  It was well after dark before we finally sat down, both of us grinning like children and laughing. I was so thirsty I drank all my ale in one gulp. I certainly wasn’t drunk, but my head swam for a minute or two. Stone pulled the cup away from me and looked at the empty space shocked, and then up at me.

  ‘Don’t drink too much,’ he teased. ‘You might not be able to control yourself.’ I tossed my napkin at him actually managing to bean him on the forehead with it. I’m sure he let it hit him on purpose.

  ‘I can hold my drink.’

  ‘A little thing like you? You couldn’t hold a drop.’

  ‘Was that a challenge?’

  ‘No,’ he laughed. ‘I don’t want to have to carry you around with a hangover tomorrow.’

  ‘You wouldn’t be carrying me. Basil would.’

  ‘And what makes you think I’ll let you ride my horse?’

  ‘Because I make you laugh?’ I smiled hopefully. He threw back his head and near fell out of his chair with laughter.

  ‘Tired yet?’ he asked.

  ‘No. Not yet.’

  ‘How about one more spin before we fight over the bed?’

  ‘If you think you can keep up.’

  ‘As long as you don’t step on my toes again I’ll be fine,’ he said dragging me out of my chair. This dance was slower and we meandered in long lazy loops and simple elegant twirls I hadn’t known I was capable of. A cool breeze lifted my hair around my face as the door opened behind us. Stone looked over my head and everything about him hardened. He didn’t stop moving or lose the beat, but he was no longer the courtly dancer. He had turned to hunter.

  Thirteen

  ‘Forgive me,’ he said with one hand and then lifted me off my feet, both arms around my waist, spinning us deftly into a dark hallway. I was half slammed into a wall, his body pressed up against mine in a decidedly improper pose. He pressed my head into his shoulder as he bent his head to my neck. His lips never touched me but we looked to all the world as if we deep in arduous kisses.

  I turned my head slightly and watched as the men in black approached the counter and Stone’s aunt. I froze in total fear. I had managed to forget about everything for a while and their appearance took me by surprise taking all my courage with it. Stone pulled me closer, his thumb rubbing reassuringly along my spine as we waited. Aster glanced at us once and nodded to herself as if making some kind of decision before settling the men with food and drinks at a table out of sight.

  Stone didn’t wait for another chance and pulled me down the hallway to a back staircase. We didn’t speak, didn’t have to. Both of us packed as quickly as we could, bundling up our scant gear knowing we had to leave right that moment or be trapped until they left town. It would be impossible not to be seen if we stayed.

  We hurried down the back staircase and ducked into the kitchen. Stone pulled me deftly through the throngs of cooks and servers and bar keeps busy at their jobs finding the back door. Aster waited for us there. She gave Stone a quick hug and sent us on with a fresh bundle of food.

  The night was cool and still as we crept around the building moving as slowly as we could. Stone peered in one of the windows checking positions and counting. I saw four men seated at the end of the room; the original party had six, so two were waiting.

  He pulled me along the wall keeping me on the inside and slightly behind him. We carefully passed a prostitute busy at her work on an oblivious man. Around the corner to the front were six horses being guarded by the two missing men. Lanterns filled the town square in front of us lighting the night and few people were about giving us no cover. Putting his arm around my waist we walked boldly out into the open like we belonged there, keeping our heads down.

  ‘If I let g
o of you, run to the stable and don’t look back,’ he told me as we stepped into the light. I had an iron grip on his jerkin trying to steady my nerves. How did people just walk boldly into danger and not shiver and shake? How was Stone always so calm about everything?

  We were half way across the square when he jerked to a stop for a split second. Someone must have yelled because after that split second he put our gear on my shoulder, pushed me forward and he was gone. I panicked. I knew enough now to do what Stone told me but I turned around anyway terrified I’d lose him somehow too.

  Stone rushed them, moving faster than I’d ever seen him. He punched one man, taking him to the ground and pushed the other into the open doorway. In minutes the hardened men of the inn streamed out and a fight began, a real bar brawl. I lost sight of Stone several times deep in the fray. Fists and feet were everywhere, the dust kicked up and shining red pools shone on the bright threshold. The men in black stayed to the edges and only fought when someone directly touched them, choosing to survey the area instead. I ducked into a shadow as they slowly closed on Stone, weeding through the fighting men.

  He was distracted, trying to pull himself from the fight and didn’t see them coming. I stood trembling with indecision. I had no idea how to handle myself in a fight, but I couldn’t let them get him. I picked up a large rock and threw it blindly into the crowd. To my absolute surprise it hit the back end of one of the terrified horses. The beast bucked and caught one of the men in black in the chest throwing him several feet away.

  I threw another rock, this time trying to aim and failing miserably. In the end I just threw rocks blindly praying I didn’t hit Stone until I had all the horses riled up and scared. Stone took his chance and herded the horses away, waving his arms wildly leaving the men in black to chase down their own mounts across the river. The idiots knew nothing about horses and went after them with a big fuss making the horses even more scared.

  Stone ran right for me and grabbed me around the waist; half carrying me to the stables. He deposited me next to Basil and shook my shoulders yelling at me, seeming to forget I couldn’t understand him.

  ‘What were you doing?’ he gestured finally. ‘Do you have any idea how stupid that was?’