Silent Heart

by Susan Simone

  We entered through the west gate with droves of villagers and farmers come to town for the day. When we were stopped by uniformed guardsmen, Stone dug through our packs and pulled out a ring I had never seen him wear. The guards waved us in without a word and turned their attention to the next traveler. If they were surprised by what they had seen they didn’t show it. Stone maneuvered us through a network of back alleys where a topless man and a woman in a man’s shirt didn’t seem quite so odd. In fact compared to some residents I felt almost over dressed.

  I wasn’t sure how long we rode, I found myself enamored by the sights of the city and wasn’t really paying attention to where we were or where we were going. I was startled when he pulled into what was obviously someone’s backyard. A rich someone, with a very large house, stables, gardens, and liveried staff. Stone exchanged words with a stable hand who then ran to the house and the rest of the staff, though surprised to see him, deferred to him like they had known him all their lives. He continued up the long path to the house as if we belonged there.

  An older couple, obviously of rank, stepped out the back doors to greet us. Stone jumped down without me and embraced both of them happily. They exchanged excited words before the woman pointed to me and he brought them over.

  “Paige, these are my parents, Lord and Lady Stonewell. Mom and Dad this is Paige. She’s deaf so you’ll have to excuse me while I translate for her.” His mother blinked several times, taken aback. His father was the first to reach out his hand and take mine.

  “Welcome.”

  “Thank you,” I said out loud, hoping I didn’t sound too awkward.

  “She speaks,” he said surprised.

  “Not very often,” Stone laughed. “Consider yourself honored.”

  ‘I’ve been told my voice doesn’t sound right and my words are hard to understand.’

  “I see you’ve learned Stone’s gift for languages,” his mother finally chimed in.

  ‘He is a good student, when he tries.’ That made them all laugh.

  “Son,” his father said. “Might I ask what happened to your shirt?”

  “It’s a long unpleasant story. For now Paige has it. Don’t ask what happened to hers. We’ve been through hell and lost pretty much everything. She has a whole host of injuries, most recently a broken ankle. At least I think it’s broken.”

  “Which is why she is still on the horse,” his father commented.

  “Oh dear. Should we call for a healer?” his mother asked.

  “I’d appreciate it,” Stone said. “We need everything. Food, clothes, baths, a safe place to sleep for the night. We’ve been pursued the entire time so you’ll want to set the watch.”

  “What has been going on?” his father asked concerned. “How long have you been on the road?”

  “I don’t even know anymore, a month maybe two?”

  “Two months? Did you even find what you set out for?”

  “That’s why Paige is here. She witnessed Rinald’s execution.” His mother put her hand to her heart. I almost wished I was her for a second. So much had happened to me that those words no longer held the power to shock me. I mourned briefly for the innocent me that would have cried had she seen those words.

  “Where was this?”

  “Paige was down along the Xuman border. They attacked her; they attacked her house killing her brother, her only living relative. It burned down. The pass is all but destroyed. We barely made it out of that with our lives. We ended up stopping at Aster’s and then heading for the wastelands. She was abducted at one point.”

  ‘Stone,’ I warned.

  “Sorry. One of them made it to the shelter last night and we’ve been traveling non-stop since. We’re both a little weary.”

  “Well come inside,” his mother said. “We’ll find rooms for you. And you both need to eat.”

  “What did I say? Safe and dry tonight,” he smiled pulling me off the horse.

  ‘Thank God!’ I slid effortlessly into his arms. The stable hand took Basil’s reigns and started to walk off. ‘Wait don’t you need to tell them about Basil’s liaison?’

  “Oh right.” He didn’t translate because his arms were full with me, but he didn’t need to. I could read his lips now most of the time. He turned to the stable hand, “We had an incident with a stallion. Basil’s in season and possibly foaled.”

  “We’ll keep her separated, Sir.”

  ‘Sir?’ I asked. He cocked his head dismissively and carried me in the house.

  I was settled on a large soft couch with pillows artfully arranged. I felt a little silly enveloped in cushions like a reluctant princess. Stone sat down next to me and pulled my bad foot into his lap out of habit and started pulling off the wrapping, oblivious to the exchanged look of his parents. I’d never had a suitor before. Out in the wilderness, what we had was so natural it seemed to move without any help from either of us, but to sit for the first time in his parent’s house, a noble’s house, wearing his shirt while he went topless and my foot in his lap. Was I insane? He didn’t identify me as anyone special to him, but he didn’t pull away physically either.

  “What is that on her foot?” his father asked leaning over to inspect the damage.

  “A burn,” Stone said shortly.

  “How did a burn get on the bottom—.” He paused and looked at his son for a long moment. “Oh dear God. You said she’d been abducted.”

  ‘My ankle is fine,’ I said snatching it back. ‘I could probably walk on it if you would let me.’

  “I don’t know how bad it is,” Stone said. “I don’t want you crippled.”

  ‘You worry too much.’

  “Can you blame me?” I pushed his arm making him laugh.

  ‘You have a lovely home,’ I said to his mother.

  “Tell her I said thank you,” she said to Stone.

  “You can talk to her Mom. I only translate.”

  ‘Just like Aster,’ I commented before I could still my hands.

  “She knows Aster?” she asked startled. Stone laughed.

  “We had to stop at the inn on our way through. Aster did the same thing. Talking to me instead of to her.”

  “Oh,” she sat down.

  ‘Your sister is an amazing person. Sweet, and capable, and kind. If those are family traits you should be honored.’

  “Thank you,” I could see her mouth stammering for words.

  ‘You’re laying it on a little thick,’ Stone said without translating.

  ‘I’m telling the truth.’

  ‘No,’ he grinned. ‘You’re trying to make a good impression and over doing it.’

  ‘Well I said something stupid and kind of have to make up for it,’ I was flustered.

  ‘Paige, relax. They raised me. They can’t be that scary.’

  ‘Oh go put a shirt on.’ He threw back his head and laughed. He looked at his father, making me wonder if he made a noise.

  “Sorry. We’re not used to having too many people around. She’s exasperated with me and told me to put a shirt on. After all we’ve been through, she’s worried about a shirt,” he laughed. I dropped my jaw in shock and put one hand on his mouth and the other on his hands making him laugh more. A maid came in with trays of food. I gave him a warning glance before letting him go. I had thought to be demure and waited for Stone to get his first, but he put the plate he made in my hands. “Eat.”

  ‘You should eat too.’

  “Paige gets sick if she doesn’t eat,” he announced.

  ‘Stone!’

  “What? It’s not like I told them you flung yourself off a horse—.” I shoved a piece of food in his mouth. He bit it off with a wicked smile. His father was holding his chest laughing and his mother was carefully hiding a smile. Food won out over fun and games and I managed to get Stone to stillness while we ate. We ate a lot. I was embarrassed to find I ate as much as Stone. It was a relief to be out of the rain, eating good food, and talking with normal people who weren’t out to kill us.

/>   The healer arrived shortly after, announced by a sweet little girl with bright red curls springing free from her tight braid. He was a tall man and wiry, like Bear if he starved himself, and a little pot belly showing through his dark clothes. I froze looking at him. His face was sunken and boney like the skeleton man. It was obviously not the same man but they could have been father and son for the likeness. No. I was not going to be alone in a room with this man and let him touch me; at all. Stone would just have to live with it. I know he was worried, but he would just have to be content to stay that way.

  There was a lot of talking while I stared oblivious, trying to convince myself not to run. Before I knew it or even had any real warning, Stone’s mother was leading the healer up the stairs and Stone had picked me up to follow them. It was in me to fight him. I had dreams of pulling his ear until he dropped me or biting him on the sensitive spot where neck met shoulder. In the end it was Stone and I couldn’t bring myself to hurt him.

  I was taken to a white room with French doors leading to a small balcony over the gardens. Stone put me down on the bed while his mother hovered on the edges and the healer waited patiently. I grabbed his hand before he could walk away.

  ‘You’re not leaving me here with him.’

  ‘It’s alright. He’s been the family healer since I was a child.’

  ‘Look at him, Stone. You are not leaving me here.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘Indulge me.’ He sighed and spent a minute or two looking at the details of man he’d known all his life. I watched his jaw drop and he snapped his head back to me in shock.

  ‘I never noticed that before.’

  ‘Please do not make me let him touch me,’ I pleaded.

  ‘Paige that ankle needs to be looked at along with everything else.’

  ‘Everything else?! You have got to be kidding.’

  ‘Do you know how close you were to death!? I nearly lost you! I’m not going to lose you again because of infection or anything else! I’m not a healer; I have no idea if I actually helped or if I did more harm than good. You are seeing the healer!’

  ‘I can’t.’

  ‘Why?!’

  ‘I’m scared! Alright? I’m damaged and terrified and I can’t even look at the man. Can you at least understand that?’ He put his hand over his face and sat down at the edge of the bed.

  ‘I understand, but I’m not sending him away. I’ll stay. Does that help?’

  ‘I don’t have another choice, do I?’

  ‘No,’ he smiled. ‘I really am worried, Paige.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘I also have to tell him what happened.’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Yes. He’s a healer. It’s his job. There might be injuries neither one of us know to look for.’

  ‘This just gets more humiliating,’ I rubbed my forehead.

  ‘It’ll be fine, you’ll see.’ He got up and I looked out the window, unable to watch him telling my deepest secrets to strangers. His mother had left somewhere in the middle of our argument. I had no idea what she thought. I wish he had given me some warning before bringing me here, I wish I was normal, I wish they didn’t have to meet the broken me that flinched every time someone got too close.

  I jumped when I felt the pressure on the bed and Stone grabbed my hand.

  ‘Just me,’ he said and kissed my fingers.

  ‘How’d he take it?’ I was afraid to look at the healer even as he sat down by my feet and started inspecting my injuries.

  ‘He’s concerned.’

  ‘Will he have to look at everything?’

  ‘No. He said if you’re not hurting he didn’t think it was necessary. After three weeks there wouldn’t be much he could do. Mom left to start a bath for you. She thought you’d like that after being poked and prodded.’

  ‘She’s nice.’

  ‘I’m glad you like her. You make her nervous. She’s used to being the lady of the house and seeing to hospitality and all that. With you, she needs me to translate.’

  ‘What will you tell her about me?’

  He smiled and dipped his head for a second. ‘What do you want her to know?’

  ‘It’s your family, you decide. I’m so confused I don’t know which end is up. Oww!’ the healer had tried turning my ankle experimentally.

  “It’s broken,” the healer declared. “But not badly. With some support you can walk but you should rest it as much as you can. The burn looks good and is healing nicely.”

  “What kind of support?” Stone asked.

  “I have a brace that goes over a shoe. I was told it might be a broken ankle so I brought it. She’ll need a cane.”

  “We have one.”

  “Just because it’s braced does not mean you can do what you want. Stay off of it and don’t walk even to use the privy without the brace.” I nodded. I was beyond making words when faced with his likeness.

  “Thank you.”

  “See that she gets good care.”

  “I will.” The healer put the brace on the bed and left. ‘The maids are hovering outside. They’ll help you get to the bath and change and all that.’

  ‘Leaving me now?’

  ‘Well it wouldn’t really be proper to for me to take you in there,’ he grinned.

  ‘Oh the scandal. Would it be wrong if I said I’d prefer it if you took me?’

  ‘No,’ he laughed, ‘but you’re right. Definitely scandalous. Get cleaned up and we’ll scandalize the house later.’ He kissed me on the forehead and left, replaced by a gaggle of nervous, giggling girls, no older than 16, three of them working to keep me off my foot.

  Twenty Four

  I was plunged in blessedly hot water and scrubbed and fussed over until I wanted to scream. They wouldn’t even let me alone to wash myself and after all I’d been through, I wanted to wash myself thoroughly. I tried to get them to leave but couldn’t make them understand me. In the end, I just took the soap and set to business; wanting to be clean there more than I wanted privacy. Apparently this was normal, it didn’t faze them one bit at the length of time my hand was under water. Then I was dried and dressed and my hair done.

  I was given proper undergarments, to go with a split riding skirt that was finer than any cloth I had ever seen and a lovely soft rose colored blouse of some fabric with a subtle pattern woven in. I wouldn’t have dreamed of such fine clothes at home. I felt kind of silly, like I didn’t belong but was trying too hard to fit in. I was more than a little shocked when the maids brought in a pair of soft tall boots that went to my knee. They were plain but constructed so well they must have cost more than I made in a year. My art sold well, but not that well. They fitted surprisingly well and I couldn’t feel the brace at all. My hair was done up in a hundred tiny braids and then that mess was braided up into a clever knot. Very Xuman. It made me wonder if they knew my heritage. I was only missing an idol declaring my spirit animal. As if in answer to that, one maid came in with my cane, lovingly carved into a panther by Stone.

  I was finally led down stairs to the main room. Walking was hard but a relief after so much time having to rely on help for the most basic of tasks. I almost sat down but I saw Stone standing on the back porch, looking out into the rain that had started again. He had shaved and I could see the line of his jaw. He was dressed casually but the clothes, like mine, were much finer. They showed off the cut of him and he looked at home in all the opulence. Would I really have a place in his world?

  I went out to him, desperately wanting the contact with him that had saved me through all our hardships. He turned to look at me and I swear his face lit up, or it could have been the effect of the newly lit lanterns reflecting on the rain.

  ‘You look beautiful,’ he said. I blushed and smiled.

  ‘I feel so fake. These clothes are so fine I don’t know how to wear them.’

  ‘You’re doing a pretty good job if you ask me.’

  ‘Where are your parents?’

  ‘Ch
ecking on dinner. You should know, I told them.’

  ‘Told them what?’

  ‘Everything.’

  ‘Everything?’ He nodded. ‘Oh my God, Stone! How could you?’

  ‘It wasn’t like that.’

  ‘Wasn’t like what? You promised me that no one would know unless I told them and now there are three total strangers to me that know about the most humiliating, and terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced!’

  ‘I didn’t have a choice. The healer was under orders to report to Mom so she would know what you needed. He didn’t realize she didn’t know. She told Dad and two of them cornered me. I’m not going to lie to my parents. But I think you’re missing something here.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘I told them everything. Including how I feel about you.’

  My heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode. ‘How do you feel about me?’

  He smiled and put a hand on my waist. ‘What are doing standing? You’re supposed to be resting that foot.’ He picked me up and put me on the railing. Pure Stone, I almost laughed. ‘I promised you I’d be here when you’re ready. That hasn’t changed. Say the word and you become my whole world.’ Overcome I put my hand to his face. ‘Paige, I—.’ He was interrupted by someone at the door.

  “Dinner is ready,” his mother said. He sunk his head and nodded before lifting me off my perch.

  ‘I can walk now,’ I protested as he carried me into the dining room. He only grinned at me.

  Dinner was a pleasant affair, good food, laughter, all the things you wanted at a family meal. I still felt awkward, like the odd one out but Stone worked hard translating more than eating to make sure I wasn’t left out. I remember once laughing so hard at one of his father’s jokes that I reached down and grabbed his knee completely oblivious. Stone twined his fingers with mine and we both ate one handed, totally unaware of how obvious we both were.