Silent Heart

by Susan Simone

  ‘So you trust me with your honor?’

  ‘If I had any left, yes.’

  ‘Paige,’ he looked at me sadly. I didn’t want to see that in his eyes so I snuggled against him and pretended to sleep. He flicked my nose making me open my eyes. ‘I know you’re not asleep.’

  ‘I just don’t want you to move,’ I admitted.

  ‘Alright. You win. I never could say no to you anyway.’

  ‘Is that the truth?’ He made a nest of our blankets and maneuvered me into his arms.

  ‘More than you know.’

  ‘So what was this I said while drunk on willow bark?’ He threw back his head and laughed hard enough to make his whole body shake.

  ‘You’re funny.’

  ‘Stone—.’

  ‘No, really. Hilarious. Goodnight. I’m going to sleep.’ I sighed, exasperated, making him laugh again and settled in for the night.

  Twenty Two

  We had another set of long wet days. Poor Basil was shivering by the time we stopped. We had another cave to rest in, this one larger, but no room for a horse. Stone drenched himself making a shelter for her and then drying her off and covering her in blankets. I had managed to start a fire by the time he made it inside and was dividing up food for dinner. I watched with hidden hunger as he walked in the firelight shining on his bare chest. He ran his hand through his hair in a common gesture, the water streaming down and highlighting his well cut form. I wondered briefly if he realized what seeing him like that did to me. I wasn’t ready to act on it so it was probably best he didn’t know. At least for now.

  After that kiss two or three nights before, I was less skittish around him. I started to remember what his hands used to feel like on me before I was forever tainted. He didn’t surprise me anymore. A couple of times he had to come up behind me or put his arm around my waist without warning and I didn’t flinch. I wasn’t scared of him anymore. I wasn’t scared of his touches. I didn’t know how I would react if he tried for sex, but just the everyday touches of a couple falling in love were a healing balm to me. I still didn’t know if he loved me, but I loved him more every day. Someday I would have the courage to tell him.

  ‘What?’ he asked and I realized I had been staring.

  ‘Nothing,’ I smiled and went back to my task.

  ‘Why don’t I believe you?’

  ‘Because you have a suspicious mind.’

  ‘That could be,’ he admitted, sitting down across from me. ‘But I think it has more to do with knowing you.’

  ‘If you say so.’

  ‘Don’t play coy with me. What were you thinking about just now?’

  ‘I was thinking you need to learn to spell your own name. We haven’t had much practice.’

  ‘I can spell my own name.’

  ‘Alright, then. Show me.’

  He grinned and spelled out slowly but clearly, ‘R-I-C-H-A-R-D-S-T-O-N-E-W-E-L-L.’ I startled and stared at him for a long time.

  ‘Why didn’t you tell me I had your name wrong?’ He laughed.

  ‘Because Stone was easier at the time and then I saw no point in correcting it. Stone worked fine.’

  ‘Should I be calling you R-I-C-H now?’

  ‘No. I like the name you gave me better. It’s like our little code.’

  ‘Did I ever tell you the story of my one and only suitor?’ Hit by impulse, I wanted to tell him in a roundabout way why I stared at him in the rain.

  ‘The one Bear attacked?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘No. You never told me.’ Blushing a little, I related my escapades as a young woman and the tall golden haired man naked and dripping wet. He found this rather amusing.

  ‘Excuse me for a minute,’ he said and got up rushing outside. He stood in the rain with his arms outstretched for several minutes and came back in soaked and sat down with me.

  ‘Are you crazy? You’re going to get sick!’

  ‘Small price to pay for my lady’s favor.’ Exasperated I shoved him to the ground while he laughed.

  ‘Seriously I can’t even walk yet. What am I going to do if you get sick?’

  ‘Oh but I am sick,’ he said gravely. ‘I need your healing touch.’

  ‘Really.’

  ‘One of your kisses would heal a man if he was an inch from death.’

  ‘And you’re an inch from death I suppose.’

  ‘Oh no. Half an inch. I may need more than one.’ I laughed despite myself.

  ‘Far be it from me to deny a dying man,’ I said leaning over him. He put a hand on the back of my neck under my hair to pull me closer. Our lips were almost touching when I startled away.

  ‘What is it? What did I do?’ he asked alarmed sitting straight up.

  ‘Not you. There is a rider coming.’

  ‘How many?’ He started reaching for weapons.

  ‘One.’

  ‘Moving fast?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘It’s probably a traveler. Can you be my wife again for the night?’

  ‘If you need me to. Why? Can’t we just send him on?’

  ‘It’s another day’s ride to the next shelter. He’d never make it in this. Besides we’re on my father’s land. These shelters were made and maintained by the people to make traveling easier. It’s common courtesy to share when you have to. We’d only arouse suspicion if we told him to leave for no reason.’

  Another minute and a drenched man with a wide brimmed hat and leather coat stepped into the fire light, still holding his horse’s reigns. The hat had gone floppy and rivers of water streamed off his heavy clothes making a mud puddle by the mouth of the cave. Stone was already standing, staring out into the night, waiting for him.

  “Excuse me for imposing,” the man said, Stone translating easily. “But the weather is bad tonight, can I share your fire?”

  “Do you carry any weapons?” Stone asked. The man wasn’t surprised by the question and only nodded. “Leave them in the corner over there where we can all see them and you may join us. I’m Stone,” though his mouth said Richard, “and this is my wife Paige,” though his mouth said some other word I didn’t recognize. “We have a small shelter for our horse across the way; you’re welcome to set yours up for the night.”

  “Thank you folks. I wouldn’t want to be caught dead out there on a night like tonight.” I watched as he unsaddled his horse and set to feeding him. There was something about him, something in the way he moved that made me uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure if it was because I was still recovering and the idea of a strange man made me nervous or if it was more.

  ‘You okay, Paige?’ Stone asked silently.

  ‘Yes, I think so.’

  ‘Let me know if this is too much for you.’

  ‘I will.’

  “Well now,” the man said walking in and dropping his gear in the corner. “Old Roscoe will be much happier tonight. Fool horse is terrified of the rain.” He disarmed himself, wiping the water off the blades. He seemed to have too many weapons but Stone was as impassive as ever.

  “What’s your name stranger?” he asked.

  “Wesley.”

  “Good to meet you.”

  “You as well. What is all this with the hands? You’re making me nervous.”

  “My wife is deaf. I translate what is going on around us so she’s not so cut off.” Wesley looked at me from under his wet floppy hat with piercing grey-blue eyes. The more I saw of him the less I liked. What was it that was driving me so crazy?

  “That must be frustrating.”

  “Not really. We manage just fine. Her language is in many ways more complete than spoken word.”

  “That’s something. I can’t say I’ve ever met a deaf person before. I wouldn’t know the first thing. What happened to her ankle?” he pointed at the binding I hadn’t yet taken off that night.

  “Fell off a horse. I think it’s broken but I don’t know for sure.”

  “My father was a healer. I don’t make my living that way but he taught me w
hat he knows. I’d be happy to look at it for you.” Stone looked at me hopefully and I hoped he could see the daggers in my eyes.

  ‘No, I think it will be fine. It doesn’t hurt so much anymore.’

  “You really should let him,” Stone said.

  ‘I know you worry but it is healing. I’d rather just leave it alone.’

  “Suit yourself,” Wesley said and took off his hat. There was something about him that was so familiar, but I couldn’t place it. I just knew he made me uncomfortable. I reached for Stone’s hand and he twined his fingers with mine, settling in behind me so that his arms and legs held me close. “Must be newlyweds,” Wesley commented.

  “Why do you say that?” Stone asked.

  “You still hold hands and curl up like a couple of kittens.”

  “Two weeks,” Stone laughed. “Married?”

  “Going on ten years. Believe me you stop holding hands after five.”

  ‘That’s almost sad,’ I commented.

  “Not so sad as all that girly. She knows I love her. We just enjoy our time apart more.”

  “Where are you headed?” Stone asked.

  “I got a sister who has a farm on the edge of the wastes. She lost her husband not too long ago, so I’m off to help her take care of business for a spell. You?”

  “I have family in the city. Taking my wife to meet them. Sorry about your sister.”

  “Well I’m sure she’ll be alright, thank you though. She never did like the man. Her only problem is taking over his business.”

  Both men looked up sharply at the cave mouth.

  “What the hell was that?” Stone said. I felt him slide a dagger into the back of my skirt before he got up.

  “Sounded like the horses,” Wesley said.

  “I’ll go. You’re still drenched.”

  ‘Stone!’ I said with big hands.

  ‘I’ll be right outside. He seems harmless. You know how to call for help.’

  ‘I don’t like this. Something about him is wrong.’

  ‘Paige, relax. We’ll talk about it when I get back.’ I crossed my arms across my chest and watched him go. Alright, I’ll admit it. I pouted, but only a little.

  When Stone was out of sight Wesley inched his way over to me. I inched away warily but he kept coming. I kept looking up hoping to see Stone coming back in but he had all but disappeared in the dark rainy night. Wesley slowly backed me into a corner and kept moving until he was practically right on top of me. He pointed at my ankle and I shook my head. He reached for it anyway and I found myself slapping his hand away. This time he grabbed my calf with one hand holding my leg still and slid his other hand up my inner thigh grinning at me.

  It hit me finally. I knew this man. I knew parts of him that didn’t often see daylight. He was one of them. A man in black! I was so shocked I stilled for only a split second, but it was long enough for his fingers to graze my privates. No! This would not happen again! I’d die first.

  “NO!” I screamed, reaching behind me taking the dagger. I pulled it out as fast as I could and held it pressed against his neck, cutting a little bead of blood before I even knew what I was doing. “Stone!” I shouted as hard as I could, praying I made enough sound.

  Suddenly there was a hand over mine carefully pulling the blade away, Stone massaging my forearm with his other hand his wet hair dripping on my shirt. I held the blade as hard as I could shaking with rage watching Wesley move from shocked satisfaction to fake fear. It took several minutes for Stone to coax the blade out of my hand. Wesley backed away holding his hand over his chest.

  “Is she crazy?” he asked.

  “What happened?” Stone asked me.

  ‘He put his hand up my leg.’

  “I was trying to see to that ankle!” Wesley declared.

  ‘Is that true?’ Stone asked silently. ‘Did you just get scared or was there more?’

  ‘He touched hair,’ I said looking him in the eye. His face changed from pale with shock, to red with rage, to a grim calm all in the space of a few seconds. He was on his feet in a blur of movement bringing Wesley with him and slamming him into a wall by his shirt. I backed away, watching them yell at each other. I don’t even want to know what was said, it was enough that Stone had come when I called and he was taking care of business.

  Without warning Stone drew back his hand and cold cocked the other man in the side of his head. He went to the ground in an unconscious heap. Stone took a breath and then started packing our things almost frantically.

  ‘Stone—.’

  ‘We need to get out of here. Hopefully he’ll wake up and think all this was a fever dream. If we clear out right now one will believe him anyway. We can’t afford to leave a trail.’

  ‘Stone, there’s more—.’

  ‘No time. We’ll talk about it later.’

  ‘It’s important!’

  ‘Later,’ he said whisking me into his arms.

  ‘Damn it Stone! I know him!’ He stopped walking but didn’t put me down. He raised his eyebrows asking the questions with his eyes. ‘He’s one of them, the men in black. He was the first. When they were… He was the first, do you understand me?’ Stone nearly dropped me. He spent a long time looking at the unconscious heap on the other side of the fire and then stiffly carried me out to the horses.

  ‘Stay here,’ he said pulling out his broad sword. ‘You don’t want to see this.’

  ‘Stone!’ I grabbed his arm but he pushed me away. I collapsed sobbing onto the muddy ground. The two horses that were pressed up closely to one another nosed softly at me. I hugged Basil’s muzzle not sure what else I could do. When he came back to me, Stone was covered in blood. He stood in the dark rain with his back to me letting the heavens wash away the proof of his sin.

  He wouldn’t look at me as he saddled Basil and packed our gear. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just stayed out of the way and watched him go through the motions in the dark. He pilfered through Wesley’s gear and then untied his horse sending him into the rain.

  ‘Wouldn’t it be easier if we brought the horse with us?’ I asked, finally unable to keep my stillness. Stone was making me nervous.

  ‘Probably,’ he said. ‘But people would wonder where we got the second horse and he may be known. Besides, it seems Basil here is in season. The last thing I need is a stallion following us around.’

  ‘Is that what the fuss was earlier?’

  ‘Yes.’

  ‘Oh dear. So she might be foaled.’

  ‘She might.’

  ‘Has she foaled before?’

  ‘I’ve never given her the chance.’

  ‘So Roscoe deflowered your horse.’ Slowly the amusement worked its way back into his face.

  ‘Roscoe deflowered my horse,’ he said with the ghost of a smile on his lips.

  ‘Stone, are you okay?’

  ‘Yes,’ he said shortly and finished tightening the straps. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ he asked so suddenly I almost flinched away. ‘Why did you let me go through that whole song and dance? I would never have left you alone for one second. Why, Paige?’

  ‘I didn’t know.’

  ‘What do you mean you didn’t know?!’

  ‘He looked familiar and he made me nervous but I didn’t know why. Not until he touched me; and that smile. I will never forget that sick smile.’ I closed my eyes willing the image out of my head wiping futilely at the tears I didn’t want to shed. ‘He was the first. He wasn’t the worst, but he was the first.’ Stone squatted down in front of me and lifted my chin.

  ‘I don’t know how much you remember. Could you identify them if you had to?’

  ‘I remember ever last detail of their faces. I remember their expressions. I remember the feel of their hands. I could indentify most of them with their heads covered.’

  ‘This one will never harm you or anyone else again.’

  ‘Did you kill him?’

  ‘He might live if he wakes up and stops the bleeding soon enough.’ />
  ‘I’m so sorry,’ I cried.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘You shouldn’t have to do this. You shouldn’t have to kill for me. I know you hate it.’

  ‘I hate what they did to you more. I’ve killed many times in the line of duty but it never felt so good.’

  ‘But you’re upset.’

  ‘I’m upset because I enjoyed it. It’s my own conscious I have to worry about.’

  ‘Will this ever stop? Will this ever just go away so we can live normal lives?’

  ‘No,’ he said sadly. ‘But it will get better.’

  ‘Stone.’ I threw my arms around him. He picked me up and held me so tight I thought I might break. ‘Oh no,’ I said pushing away.

  ‘What?’

  ‘If they sent him, then they know where we are.’

  ‘I know. We need to get out of here. It’s a little more than a day’s ride to the city. If we leave now we can be there by noon. I’ll have us someplace safe and dry tomorrow night. It’s almost over.’

  ‘Are we that close now?’

  ‘From the city it’s only another day to Evard.’

  ‘So we’ll finally be there in a few days?’

  ‘It really is almost over.’ I kissed his cheek and he put me on the horse.

  Twenty Three

  We pushed hard through the driving rain all night. I worried about Stone topless in the cold. His arms were constantly covered goose bumps. He said he wasn’t cold, but I didn’t believe him. Finally in the last hours of night I put my blanket around his shoulders, wrapping it around both of us. He didn’t say anything, just pulled me a little closer and kissed the side of my neck.

  I watched a gray sun rise above the clouds turning the world from black to a study in shades of dreary. The brown mud was more a mucky dark gray, the new green of the leaves looked wilted and sickly, the sky was an undulating landscape of white and gray, the mist settled wherever the road dipped, swirling like clouds around our ankles. We were cold and wet and hungry and tired. I shivered against him but Stone had precious little body heat to offer. We rested for only an hour, building a fire in a small shelter of trees to try and steal back what warmth we could.

  The rain let up around noon, about the time we saw the first signs of the city in the distance. City was the right word this time. It was larger than anyplace I had ever been. Buildings of wood and stone littered the countryside, some of them going three or four stories high. Little shop stalls of dubious construction littered the space in front of larger and larger buildings. Covered horse drawn carriages filled wide streets, and the people. I’d never seen so many people. There were rich and poor, nobles and servants alike all crammed into the walkways even on so dreary a day.