Every Breaking Wave

by Megan Nugen Isbell

  “4-0. Top of the third. You like baseball?”

  “I do!” Noah exclaimed, his shyness vanishing. He loved baseball. He and Darren used to watch it all the time.

  “Are you a Red Sox fan?” Jeremy asked and Noah nodded eagerly. “Then you’re alright with me, little man.”

  Jeremy held out his hand and Noah gave it a hearty high five.

  “C’mon, Noah. We need to get home.” I could see the disappointment on Noah’s face, but he didn’t argue.

  “Can I come by and finish the job tomorrow? I didn’t come back today because I wanted to see when a good time would be.”

  “Tomorrow’s fine. Morning’s best if possible.”

  “I’ll be over in the morning then.”

  “Thanks,” I said, taking Noah’s hand and walking back to our house as I heard Jeremy’s door close.

  Three

  I could tell the moment I woke up it was going to be an uncomfortable day. The heat had set in and the air was thick. I showered and pulled my hair off my neck. There really was no use in even trying anything else with it. My fine hair just went stringy and flat when the air was as heavy as it was. I thought about putting on a pair of shorts, but then I saw a black maxi skirt hanging in the closest. Aside from yoga pants, there wasn’t anything I owned that was more comfortable than that skirt and it would keep me cool. I paired it with a pink tank top and after sliding on my sandals, I was ready for the day.

  Noah was awake and already dressed. He was on a kick lately where dressing himself was important. It was hard not to chuckle sometimes when I’d see some of the outfits he’d come up with, including the one he’d picked out this morning. I didn’t have the heart to tell him green and blue plaid shorts didn’t exactly coordinate with his red and yellow striped shirt.

  “I’m dressed, Mommy,” he said, a proud grin on his face and I smiled at him as my eyes drifted to his flip flops that were on the wrong feet.

  “I see that, Noah. Nice choice,” I said, kissing him on the cheek and then sitting on the bed, pulling him on my lap and sliding off the flip flops. “Remember to check your shoes. Your feet will hurt otherwise.”

  “I tried,” he said as I helped him put them on the correct feet.

  “And you did a great job.”

  I pulled him close, squeezing him tightly as I started planting squeaky kisses on his neck until he started cracking up in that way only little kids can.

  “Stop, Mommy!” he laughed and after a few more smooches, I did.

  I put him down and he ran into the kitchen.

  “You hungry?” I asked and he nodded. “What do you want for breakfast?”

  “Pickles.”

  “You can’t have pickles for breakfast. How about scrambled eggs?”

  “Fine,” he moped, racing to get his tablet while I pulled out a pan. He was back a second later, sitting at the table while I mixed the eggs in a bowl before pouring them in a pan. I suddenly glanced up when the sound of a weed whacker joined the chorus of the cooking eggs and the Chuggington game Noah was playing. Jeremy was back, just as he said he’d be. Noah noticed too and he put his tablet down, rushing to the window and peeking out.

  “It’s that man. What’s he doing?”

  “He’s cutting the grass.”

  “I’m gonna go say hi,” he said and before I could stop him, he was running out the back door.

  I went after him, leaving the eggs unattended. Burnt eggs were the least of my concerns if I could prevent my son from being hacked to death by a weed whacker when he startled Jeremy.

  “Noah! Stop right now!” I yelled out as he was approaching Jeremy, whose back was to us. I wondered if my voice was loud enough to be heard over the weed whacker, but Noah instantly stopped in his tracks. The weed whacker stopped too and in the blink of an eye, I was being stared at by two big sets of brown eyes: one belonging to my son and the other belonging to Jeremy.

  “Good morning,” Jeremy said in a cool voice, an easy grin spreading over his face. He didn’t look as prepared for the hot weather as I was in his loose jeans. I assumed that was for safety reasons. No one in their right mind would be wearing jeans on such a muggy day otherwise. At least he was wearing a t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off, even though it didn’t seem to be doing much good. I could already see the sweat glistening on his arms. He was sporting the old Red Sox hat again and he still hadn’t shaved.

  “Good morning,” I said, walking quickly over to Noah, putting my hands on his shoulders.

  “Why are you yelling?” Noah looked up at me with an annoyed scowl.

  “Because I didn’t want you to scare Jeremy here and have you chopped up to bits by his weed whacker.”

  Noah gave me a strange look and I heard Jeremy laugh.

  “Don’t worry, Noah. I’d need a much bigger machine to do that,” he said and then smiled a wide grin at my son. “I have to say that is one fantastic outfit you’ve got on today.”

  I tried not to chuckle out loud, but it was hard because Jeremy’s comment was so funny.

  “Thanks! You wanna have breakfast with us?” Noah asked, weaseling out of my grip and walking over to Jeremy, extending his hand.

  “Noah, Jeremy’s busy right now.”

  “Please?” Noah asked again and then Jeremy looked at me.

  “That’s up to your mommy, Noah,” he said and I, of course, couldn’t say no.

  “Can he have eggs with us?”

  “Um…sure…if you’d like to, you’re welcome to come inside and join us.”

  “How can I decline an invitation like that?”

  Noah grabbed Jeremy’s hand as Jeremy leaned the weed whacker against the side of the house before Noah led him inside.

  I could smell the eggs were burnt the second we walked inside. Noah’s nose curled up and I looked over to our unexpected breakfast guest. If he smelled anything, he wasn’t letting on.

  “I think I need to start over,” I said, taking the pan from the stove and dumping the eggs into the garbage disposal. “Don’t worry, I don’t usually burn eggs.”

  “I’m not worried. I tasted your cookies last night and they were stellar.”

  I turned from the stove as I felt my cheeks flush to see if he was being as flirty as I thought or if I was taking it the wrong way since flirting had been out of my repertoire for some time now. He had a little smile on his face when our eyes met and I had a feeling my first suspicions had been correct.

  “Wanna play Chuggington with me?” Noah asked as he and Jeremy sat down at the table.

  “Sure. Who’s Chuggington though?”

  “He’s a train. See?” Noah asked, pointing to the table screen.

  “You like trains?” Jeremy asked and Noah nodded enthusiastically.

  “I’m gonna go on a train when I start pooping on the potty. Mommy says no pull-ups on trains,” Noah said in all seriousness, but I saw Jeremy was trying to stifle a laugh and I was trying not to cringe.

  “Your mommy says that?” Jeremy asked and Noah nodded. “Well, she’s right. I actually just got to ride on my first train last year because of that rule.”

  Jeremy looked over to me with a playful grin and I had to laugh. I was surprised by the way Noah was opening up to Jeremy. That didn’t happen very often. Noah was shy. Always had been and it took him a while to get used to people. This hardly seemed the case with Jeremy and a moment later, Noah was engrossed in his game and Jeremy’s manufactured enthusiasm seemed genuine, even though I knew a grown man would rather be doing anything but playing Chuggington.

  The eggs were done a few minutes later and I pulled out the toast I’d put in while the eggs cooked. I made everyone a plate and brought them over to the table.

  “Thank you, Beth,” he said as he took a bite of his eggs.

  “I wish I had bacon or something more, but I used the rest of what I had yesterday. I wasn’t exactly expecting breakfast guests this morning.”

  “This is perfect. All I had was a bowl of Cap ‘n Crunch.”
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  I couldn’t help the little laugh that escaped as I spread some jelly on my toast.

  “Cap ‘n Crunch? What are you? Twelve?”

  “That’s about right,” he said and I grinned as I set the knife down and took a bite. “I didn’t come over too early, did I?”

  “No, it was perfect actually. Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I haven’t finished it yet and I’ve gotta tell you, this Chuggington game is riveting. I may not be able to pull myself away from it.”

  I laughed again. I couldn’t help it. Jeremy’s witty sense of humor was hard to resist.

  “I know. Lucky me, I can play it whenever I want.”

  “How do you get anything done?”

  “It’s hard, but I manage.”

  He smiled at me and I didn’t want to focus on how handsome he was. It was hard though the way his brown eyes peeked out at me from the brim of his hat.

  “How long can I expect neighbors?” he asked.

  “A couple of months. We’ll be heading back to Providence in August. Hopefully you’ll be able to put up with us for that long.”

  “I think I’ll survive,” he said, cleaning his plate of the last of the eggs and then walking over to the sink and rinsing it off before coming back to the table to get mine and Noah’s plates as well. I was surprised when he started filling the sink with dish soap and began washing the dishes.

  “That’s not necessary, Jeremy. I’ll take care of the dishes.”

  “You made me breakfast. It’s the least I can do.”

  He winked at me and I smiled, looking away a moment later to Noah, who was still engrossed in his game. I got up and began wiping the counter off while Jeremy finished up the dishes.

  “Thank you for cleaning up.”

  “You’re welcome,” he said, wiping the sink down of all the suds and then he grabbed a paper towel, drying his hands. “Now, I should go finish that grass cutting I’ve been trying to get done for the last two days.” He walked over to Noah, extending his hand. “Thank you, young sir, for the breakfast invitation.” Noah laughed and shook Jeremy’s hand enthusiastically before Jeremy turned back to me. “And thank you for the delicious eggs, Beth.”

  “You’re welcome,” I said, before adding. “It’s a hot one out there today. If you need water or anything, let me know.”

  “I’ll be fine, but thank you. I’ll see you two later.”

  He was gone a second later, but as I sat down beside Noah, who was all too excited to show me the latest track he’d built for Chuggington, my eyes kept drifting to the window, watching as Jeremy got to work, the sound of the weed whacker filling the air.

  “Can we go to the beach, Mommy?” Noah suddenly asked.

  “Sure. Go get your suit on.”

  He set the tablet down, not bothering to even turn it off and I heard him scurrying in his room, returning a moment later in nothing but his swim trunks, holding a towel and his bucket of beach toys. I didn’t bother changing though. I had no intention of getting in the water.

  I gathered my beach bag and we were out the door soon after. Jeremy was busy working on the lawn. He gave us a little wave as we made our way across the street and I couldn’t help but feel a little guilty for leaving him to work while Noah and I played.

  We weren’t at the beach more than fifteen minutes before Noah found two little boys to play with. They looked a little older than Noah, but that didn’t matter. They were having fun and building much better sandcastles than I ever could. I made small talk with the boys’ mother, learning they were vacationing from Vermont, but soon she returned to her tanning and I was able to read a few chapters in a book I’d been trying to finish while I kept an eye on Noah. The boys left an hour later, which seemed to crush Noah. He was convinced Marcos and Johnny were his new best friends. I hated to see the sad face he gave me as they walked away and he asked to leave shortly thereafter.

  The temperature had to have gone up at least ten degrees from the morning when Jeremy had joined us for breakfast. I wasn’t surprised then when Noah and I walked up to the front door and I noticed Jeremy pushing a mower across his own lawn, minus his t-shirt, the sweat creating a fine sheen on his skin. I didn’t blame him. It was downright miserable outside and if it was socially acceptable, I would’ve considered walking around topless too to get some relief. It was hard not to notice how strong his arms were or how tight his stomach was. I expected that though, based on what I’d already seen. There was no way a pot belly had been hiding under his shirt.

  His earbuds were back in and I was surprised he saw us, but he must’ve because he looked up as we approached the back door, waving. Noah waved eagerly back and I smiled before taking my key out, unlocking the door and walking inside.

  Four

  We’d been in Travers Cove for a week and I told myself every time my eyes drifted out the window to the house next door that I was simply admiring the scenery, not that I was hoping to catch a glimpse of my new neighbor. Yes, I was divorced, and yes, I was a mother of a son turning four in a few weeks, but I was a woman nonetheless and a woman would have to be blind or a lesbian to not notice Jeremy. His subtle flirting didn’t help the situation either. I’d gone on a few dates since the split from Darren, but that had been at the insistence of my sister. Her motto was to jump right back on the horse. She’d obviously forgotten I’d forgotten how to ride long before. All of those were first dates though because none of them led to a second. I didn’t know how to date, and truthfully, I didn’t want to date. I didn’t have time for that. I had a job and a son and I was trying to figure my life out, which was enough for me. I don’t think I’d broken any of my dates’ hearts though. I was in no place for a relationship. I was still trying to deal with Darren and how his decision had completely rewritten the book on my life. Despite this, I told myself it wouldn’t do any harm to sneak a peek every now and then. It was safer that way. I got to escape from my real life while getting an occasional glance at the eye candy next door. Look, but don’t touch and everything would be fine.

  Unfortunately, I hadn’t seen much of Jeremy. I’d see the lights in the house on at night, but other than a few glimpses of him walking from his door to the carport to leave, he’d kept a low profile.

  Just as I’d promised Noah, he and I spent time on the beach. I had to admit, my sandcastle building had improved drastically and Noah made friends easily with whatever kids were there too. He seemed happy and that was all I wanted for him. That was the whole purpose of this summer in Travers Cove, for Noah to be a kid with no worries and for me to find some peace.

  Noah tired out right before lunch and we’d go back to the house, have lunch and he would zonk out. I’d use that time to do laundry or just sit and read. I’d finished the book I’d been working on for two months and had already read another. I never made time to read back in Providence when real life got in the way, but here in Maine, all I had was time and I couldn’t deny how good it felt. We’d make dinner and then watch some TV before going to bed and doing the same thing all over again the next day.

  At the end of what was becoming one of our increasingly routine days, I was getting ready to start dinner and Noah was on the couch watching cartoons. I wasn’t going to make anything grand for dinner. BLTs were on the menu and I reached for the bacon in the fridge just as my phone rang. I tried to stifle the cringe I felt creeping through my body when I realized it was Darren. I had to be mature. Darren and I were adults. No matter my feelings about him, he was still Noah’s father and I had to dial in the crazy I sometimes felt wanting to explode at him and be a mature co-parent.

  “Hello?” I said calmly as I answered the phone.

  “Hi, Beth. How are you?”

  “I’m fine, Darren. How are you?”

  “Good. How’s Maine?”

  “It’s nice,” I answered, not in any mood to engage in small talk with my ex.

  “I can’t talk long. I’m just getting out of work, but I wanted to call and say hi to No
ah. Is he there?”

  I wanted to say, “Of course he’s here, idiot. He’s not even four-years-old yet. Where else would he be?” I didn’t say that though. I had to pretend to be an adult.

  “He’s just watching some TV. I’ll get him,” I said instead and made my way to the living room where Noah was sprawled on the couch, eyes glued to Caillou, or a reason to dislike Canada, as I liked to refer to the whiney, balding cartoon character. “Noah. Daddy’s on the phone.”

  Noah bolted up, a huge grin on his face as he jumped off the couch, reaching for the phone.

  “Hi, Daddy!” he said excitedly and Noah continued to smile as Darren spoke to him.

  I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I stood behind the wall separating the kitchen and the living room, listening to the conversation. I knew Darren was asking him questions because the only words that seemed to leave Noah’s mouth were yes, no, uh-huh and I don’t know. Noah hadn’t quite mastered the art of talking on the telephone and I couldn’t help but smile when he finally started telling Darren about our day at the beach. When he got excited, his words jumbled together and he sounded as if he had a thick Rhode Island accent, making him nearly impossible to understand. My smile soon faded though.

  “Can you come play with me on the beach, Daddy?” There was a pause before Noah spoke again. “But why?” Another pause. “Please.” One more pause before the tears came. I heard him sniffle and I peeked around the corner, watching as his little lip trembled. “Okay.” His voice sounded so sad and defeated and it was breaking my heart. “I love you too, Daddy.”

  I didn’t hide anymore. I left my hideout and went to Noah. He wasn’t sobbing. He was just standing there, holding the phone, quiet tears running down his cheeks.

  “Are you okay, buddy?” I asked, sitting down on the couch, taking the phone from him and pulling him onto my lap.

  “I miss Daddy,” he said as I wiped his tears with the pad of my thumb.

  “I know you do, Noah. He misses you too.”