Finding Our Way Back (A Well Paired Novel)

by Rice, Marianne

  “Me.” Mia pouted.

  “How much have your counterparts had already?” Alexis pointed the wine bottle at Lily and Jenna.

  “We had dinner at Jenna’s. Hope had to work, and Grace brought Dorothy out shopping for Mother of the Groom dresses.” Lily held her glass to Alexis. “Jenna and I may have had one or two gin and tonics.”

  “One or two?” She filled Lily’s and poured a sample in Mia’s glass.

  “To celebrate Jenna’s new house.”

  “I’ll have a dinner party with you all as soon as we get through the holiday fair.” Jenna eyed Tristan over her wine glass. “I’ll need help planning a menu. And maybe the cooking.”

  “Real subtle, girlfriend,” Mia mocked. “I like it.”

  “Anyway, let me tell you about the pairing. I picked a soft, buttery white to compliment the richness of the ravioli.”

  While Alexis carried on about her wine, Tristan used the time to eye-flirt with Jenna. Her gaze flickered between Alexis, the wine glass in her hand, her plate, and him. Maybe it was the alcohol that gave her the confidence to flirt; whatever it was, he was all in favor.

  He plated the next sample and set them in front of the women.

  Jenna eyed it before picking it up. “What is it?”

  “Thyme Gougeres. A rich bread with Gruyere cheese and thyme.”

  “Sounds fancy.” Mia bit into hers and moaned. “Do you ever cook naked? ‘Cause you could totally pull it off as the next naked chef.”

  “You’ll have to forgive Mia. When she’s been drinking, we don’t usually let her out in public.” Alexis filled a glass with water and shoved it at Mia. “Clean up your mouth, or you’ll scare away my patrons and my chef.”

  Pointing to the couple who took seats at the other end of the bar, he said, “I need to tend to our guests. Don’t leave without saying goodbye.”

  “Wouldn’t think of it.”

  He had no concept of time. All he knew was that customers kept coming in, and Jenna had remained on her stool at the end of the bar. When Lily and Mia stood and put on their coats, he excused himself from the women who were asking him questions about his personal life.

  “Leaving so soon?”

  “We’ve been here for two hours. Lily’s sucked down three glasses of wine and wants to go home to her honey. Totally whipped.”

  “That’s not true. Besides, he’s not even home yet. The guys are still playing poker at Carter’s.”

  Tristan looked to Jenna for her reaction at the mention of her boyfriend. Her face was impassive, revealing no trace of emotion.

  Right. She had a boyfriend. They shouldn’t be flirting, no matter how innocent it was. Granted, he wanted it to be anything but innocent.

  “How many texts have you two sent each other?” Mia taunted.

  “Bye, guys. Sorry I didn’t have much time to hang out. The customers are chatty tonight.” Alexis moved past Tristan to the other side of the bar and hugged her friends. “Gotta pour more wine. Tristan, the ladies in black are asking for you.”

  She rushed off before he could respond. “I guess I better get back.”

  “Um.” Jenna remained in her seat and turned her head to her friends then back to Tristan. “I’d like to stay a little longer. Any chance you could give me a ride home when you leave?”

  All the strength in the world couldn’t hold back the crazy ass grin that erupted on his face. “Sure.”

  Mia bumped up against Jenna, keeping a beady stare on Tristan. “You sure about this?”

  “I’m only a few miles down the road. I’m not ready to go home yet, but I don’t want to keep you two.”

  “We don’t mind hanging around here if you need us to.” Lily placed a supporting hand on her shoulder and joined Mia in giving him an inquisitive stare down.

  So they knew. However, what exactly they knew he wasn’t sure. Not the entire story, that was for sure. Not even Jenna knew.

  “I’ll get her home safely. Promise.”

  “I’m fine, guys. Really.” Jenna stood and gave them each a hug. “Thank you for looking out for me.”

  They gave him a final warning with their eyes to which he returned with an honest smile. “I won’t let anything happen to her.”

  The customer sitting next to Mia’s vacant seat slid his empty wine glass to Tristan. “Mind topping me off?”

  The husbands and boyfriends who got dragged here often begged for extra food and drink. Ben and Alexis handled it with ease. It wasn’t something Tristan excelled at. “I’ll get Alexis for you. I just handle the food.” He smiled at Jenna with his eyes and got back to work.

  When nine o’clock rolled around, and the bar was clean and his empty trays were loaded into the van, he was finally able to give Jenna the attention he’d been wanting to give her all night.

  He found her on the opposite side of the room organizing her display of pottery. “Sorry about that. It was the busiest pairing so far.”

  She straightened the price chart and turned to him. “Don’t be sorry. You’ve brought a lot of business to Coastal Vines and to the community.”

  “I don’t know about that. Ben and Alexis have an amazing product. From what I’ve learned, they’re the ones responsible for the success in this town.”

  “Don’t sell yourself short.” There was a slight slur to her words. She hadn’t been guzzling down the wine, but she had enough to make it not safe to drive home.

  “I appreciate your vote of confidence.” He looped her arm through his and guided her out the door.

  He listened to her babble about his food and how much she loved the gluten-free pistachio truffle cookies. “It was really sweet of you to share the recipe with that lady.”

  Over the years he’d learned a lot about food allergies. Celiac disease had been the hardest allergy to accommodate for. He wouldn’t claim his kitchen necessarily safe enough for the most severe celiac, but he’d created a gluten-free zone with equipment and tools that stayed away from cross contamination.

  When the couple mentioned their celiac daughter, he offered the recipe. Gluten-free baking was a challenge, and finding cookie recipes that met his high standards was rare.

  Tristan pulled into Jenna’s driveway and shut off the engine. He wished she would have waited for him to reach her side so he could help her out. She opened the door, and he followed her inside.

  “You know, you really should lock your doors. Especially now that you’re living here on your own.”

  She spun around and stuck her hands on her hips. “Because Jerry totally warded off all the bad guys who tried to storm down the door.”

  “Sarcasm is...” Tristan licked his lips and moved closer. “Quite becoming on you.” He brushed his knuckles across her cheek before cupping her face. “I like seeing you happy.”

  “I like being happy.”

  And he liked how breathless she sounded. His gaze followed her tongue as it wet her lips.

  “Jenna.” He wouldn’t make a move until he knew he had a right to. And knew she wanted him to.

  “Tristan.” She held on to his wrists, giving him the sign with her eyes.

  Still. He couldn’t. Not knowing if he was infringing on someone else’s girlfriend, or how drunk she was. He wasn’t that kind of guy.

  Dropping his hands from her face, he moved away, putting the couch between their bodies. “Are you expecting any visitors tonight?”

  “Tonight? No. Why?” Confusion filled her face.

  “The other night. Last week.” He shoved his hands in his pockets in an attempt to appear relaxed and casual. “When I stopped by, you had a guest.”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders drooped as she sat on the couch. “You’re talking about Carter.”

  “Yeah.” He didn’t move. The distance and barrier of furniture were essential in his attempt to keep his hands off her.

  “Carter and I are just friends.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “He’s the one who told me that.”

 
; Now it was his turn to be confused. And hurt. “You don’t seem too happy about it.” So the flirting all night had been a mix of alcohol and rebound.

  She fidgeted in silence on the couch.

  Silent yet her body language screamed the obvious. He was right. Drunk rebound. And here he thought she’d turned into a well-adjusted adult.

  “Since I did my duty and got you home safe, I should be going now.” He took his keys from his pocket and headed to the door.

  “No. Don’t leave yet.” She jumped to her feet and blocked his path. “I’m so confused right now.” She gripped the hair at her scalp and pulled. “I don’t know how to do this.”

  “What is it exactly you’re trying to do?”

  “I don’t know. My heart and my head are in unison, then my mind takes over and makes me second guess everything.”

  Still pretty vague for him to gauge how his heart should be reacting.

  “Where do I fit in?” He needed to know. Now. Before his heart took more of a beating, and not in the blood pumping way that kept him alive. She’d stomped on his heart years ago and shredded it into a million pieces. The fact that it still beat today was a miracle in itself. But it was fragile.

  “Where do you fit in?” She spun around and paced the living room. “You’re everywhere. I can’t get rid of you. No matter how hard I tried, you were always there.”

  Tristan wasn’t sure if he should be completely insulted or touched.

  “I’d moved on. I started dating again. I found a guy I liked. We had fun together. I laughed and felt good with a man for the first time in years. For the first time since you. I wanted to find the bad in him. I tried really hard to make excuses why Carter wasn’t for me, but I couldn’t come up with any.”

  Yeah. This was so not looking good for Tristan. He shuffled his feet and eyed the door, wanting to get the hell out of dodge before she spilled her heart and confessed how deeply in love she was with the guy.

  “He’s so sweet. So good.” Yeah. Not what he wanted to hear. “And when he kisses me—”

  “Listen.” He had to put a stop to her drunk babble. “I’m sorry you and Carter are having a rough time. If he’s everything you say he is, it will all work out in the end.” He opened the door and stepped out onto the porch.

  He didn’t care that he was storming out in a cloud of pity party.

  “Wait.” Jenna rushed up behind him and put a hand on his shoulder. “This isn’t coming out right.”

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain. It’s been a long day. A long few weeks for you. Why don’t you go in and lay down?”

  “I don’t need to lay down.” She smacked his arm and scrunched her face. “I need you to listen.” She took hold of his shirt in her fists and yanked him down to her level.

  The fiery intensity in her eyes captivated him.

  “I wanted to have feelings for Carter.” Yeah. He already got this point. “But you know why I couldn’t?”

  “Because you haven’t gotten over the pain I caused you.” He needed to accept she was never going to forgive him.

  “No. I’ll never forget the hurt, but I’ve forgiven you. I know it was an accident.” She released his shirt and placed her hands on his chest. “When Carter kissed me, I felt nothing. I wanted to. I tried to force my belly into fluttering, my palms into sweating. But I never had a reaction.”

  Jenna slid her hands up his chest.

  His palms sweated. His stomach fluttered.

  “And then I saw you again. At first, I thought my reaction was from nerves. From familiarity. I tried hating you.” Ouch. “I couldn’t. I can’t. While a piece of me will always hurt, I’ve healed. I’m stronger than I was. I have a direction. I lost so much. Anna,” she whispered. “You. Myself.”

  A lone tear escaped the corner of her eye. He lifted his hand and wiped the tear with his thumb.

  “Do you feel it too?” she whispered, her hands moving up his chest. “There’s this strong magnetic pull with you I can’t resist.”

  “I more than feel it.” Tristan wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his embrace. “I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. I never stopped wanting you.”

  He lowered his head and kissed her, gentle and slow, savoring the moment. Savoring Jenna.

  The sweetness of the chocolate and wine had nothing on her taste. There was no recreating it. Not even the finest ingredients, the freshest food, or the purest sugar could be blended to mirror the taste of Jenna.

  She pressed her body into his and curled her hands behind his neck, drawing him nearer. They stood on the front porch wrapped in the dark, cool night and the warmth of each other.

  He kept their kisses light and delicate, making a trail with his lips from her mouth up to her ear. “I’ve missed you, Jenna. So damn much.”

  Not wanting the moment to end—ever—he squeezed her even closer to his chest and sighed into her hair.

  Her beautiful hair.

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  They stood like that for seconds or hours, he couldn’t tell, and it didn’t matter. Nothing could break the cloud of love encompassing them.

  Love.

  He wouldn’t rush her, but he wanted her to know how deep his feelings ran for her. They had a lot to talk about. A lot. While rehashing the past wasn’t in their best interest, there were eight years of their lives they lost together. It would take time, and time he would give.

  And so much more.

  “It’s getting cold out here.”

  “Is that your way of inviting yourself in and offering to warm me up?” She lifted her chin and grinned at him.

  “Could be.” He placed a chaste kiss on her nose before taking her hand and bringing her inside.

  “Do you use the fireplace much?” Afraid of the strength of the pull he felt as well, he dropped her hand and moved toward the hearth.

  “It’s been a couple years. We burned through all the wood Jerry had delivered a few years ago, and I never ordered more. I’d like to use it again. Probably should call a chimney sweep.”

  She crossed her arms and rested her hip on the edge of the couch.

  “I noticed the brickwork in the kitchen.”

  “It was once a bread oven. I think that’s what Jerry called it.”

  “Ever think of turning it into a pizza oven?”

  “Of course you’d think about food.”

  “Your kitchen is an eyesore with endless possibilities.”

  “Endless possibilities. I like that.”

  “Me too.” He moved toward the couch and pressed his body against hers. “I should go.”

  “You should stay.” She bit his lower lip playfully before kissing him. This time they took the kiss deeper.

  His tongue connected with hers as they explored each other as if for the first time. Because it was.

  This was about new beginnings. Starting over. Discovering who they were today instead of living in the past.

  He wove his hands through her thick hair until he reached the back of her head and massaged her scalp with his fingers.

  “This feels so good,” she moaned into his mouth.

  “You feel so good.”

  Jenna broke the kiss and put her hands on his chest, pushing him away. His heart sank at their lost connection, then she took his hand in hers and pulled him toward her bedroom.

  Tristan stopped in her doorway. “I think we should wait.” His mouth totally betrayed him while his body tensed at his words. The way his jeans had grown tight, he was surprised he could even walk to her room.

  He wanted to make love to her in the worst way. In the best way.

  “We’ve waited eight years.”

  “True.” He tugged her toward him, still in the doorway. “So waiting a little longer won’t hurt us any.”

  She pressed her stomach against his center. “It feels like if we wait much longer, you’ll be hurting ... a lot.”

  “Sarcastic and dirty.” He grinned as he kissed her.
“See? You’re a new woman, and I want to take my time getting to know you. Who you are today.”

  “And then you go and say these sweet things. How am I supposed to keep my clothes on around you?”

  Tristan closed his eyes and lowered his head. “You can’t say those kinds of things.”

  “Sorry. I don’t normally talk like this. It must be the alcohol.” She stepped away from him and hurried off.

  He found her in the kitchen guzzling a glass of water. “You don’t need to apologize for anything.”

  “I don’t often drink this much. Only a few times when I’ve gone out with my friends. You probably think I’m a drunken floozy.”

  “Drunken floozy?” He couldn’t help his laugh. “You’re a far cry from that.”

  “You’re laughing at me. I knew I could never come across as sexy.” She slammed the empty glass on the table and stormed past him.

  These mood swings were a new thing. Well, new since they were last together. Once again, he followed her through the house. Not finding her in the living room or her bedroom, he listened for the sound of her.

  Footsteps overhead gave her away, but he couldn’t figure out how she got up there. Then he remembered the stairs in the kitchen. He went to find them and was surprised to see a second entrance to the stairwell that must have started from behind the closed door in the foyer.

  He climbed the stairs and heard a commotion from the left. The bedroom took up the entire front of the house running from one end to the next. A light shone from the open door on the right.

  He found her in the walk-in closet opening boxes.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Going through these boxes trying to figure out what to keep and what to donate.”

  “It’s late. I’ll come over in the morning and help you go through the boxes.”

  “I’m a night owl. I’ll go to bed when I get tired.”

  “In that case, I’ll help now. I’m not used to going to bed before two a.m..”

  Jenna closed up the box and shoved it in the corner. “You can’t stay.”

  “Why not?” Ten minutes ago she was begging him to stay.

  “Because I can’t think straight right now. I keep saying stupid stuff, and this isn’t how I want things to start out between us.”