Finding Our Way Back (A Well Paired Novel)

by Rice, Marianne

  His heart. It did that pitter pattering thing.

  “So there’s hope for an us.” He leaned against the doorjamb and crossed his arms in an attempt to appear casual, hoping she couldn’t see how fast his heart was racing.

  “Is that what you want?”

  “Honey, you have to ask?”

  Jenna twirled her hair and shoved it on top of her head then drew two elastics from her wrist into the knotted mess.

  “You’ve always been good at this.” She waved her hand between them. “I don’t know how to do the dating thing. I look and sound stupid.”

  “I beg to differ.”

  “Back in high school, I was an awkward sophomore, and you were the popular senior.”

  “You weren’t awkward.”

  “I was. I didn’t know how to kiss. I’d never had sex before.”

  He hadn’t been interested in her because of her kissing abilities or because she was a virgin. It was her kindness, her complete innocence, her genuine smile, and her intelligence.

  Their first kiss had been awkward, as most high school make-out sessions were. It hadn’t taken long for them to discover each other’s likes and dislikes. To develop a rhythm with their kisses.

  They’d dated for nearly a year before they made love for the first time. He’d spent weeks setting the stage for the perfect night. He was a freshman in college and commuting from home, so there weren’t many opportunities for them to be alone.

  He didn’t want their first time to be in the back seat of his car or someplace where he had to rush before being caught.

  When his mother had signed up to go on a trip to the casinos with the local Lions Club, he started planning. They’d been having serious make-out sessions for months and had talked about sex. Both knew it was only a matter of time.

  He’d asked her to lie to her parents about sleeping over at Mindy’s. She was scared, and he’d promised to stop at any time. All she had to do was say the word.

  She never did.

  He took his time exploring her body like a newly discovered island. They’d kissed and lain naked in each other’s arms for so long without him pressing her. When he finally touched her—

  “I’m not much more experienced than the last time ... the last time we ...”

  Tristan pushed away from the doorway and took the newly opened box from her hands.

  “I don’t care if you’ve had no experience or a shit ton of it.” Lie. He did care. He didn’t want to picture her sleeping with any other man. “I love you just the way you are.” She gasped at his revelation, and he continued with his feelings. Better to unload now. “I don’t want you to change who you are. I don’t want you to apologize for your past mistakes or for who you are. I didn’t fall in love with the image of you. I fell in love with you.”

  Too strong, too fast. Hell, he couldn’t help it.

  “You love me? Now?”

  “I never stopped.”

  Again, the tears slipped from her eyes. “You got married.” She sniffed.

  Tristan took her in his arms and cradled her head under his chin. “It was for a short time. It was a marriage based on convenience. We were more business partners than anything.”

  “You had to have loved her a little to marry her.”

  “No.” He rested his cheek on her head. “We both admitted to not being in love. She knew I was still hung up on you. We thought the marriage would bring in more business. It sold papers. Splashed it on social media. And we made a fortune. That’s what my second marriage was about.”

  God, he sounded so cold. He supposed he was. There was no way he could love another woman the way he loved Jenna, so he never even tried.

  “That’s so sad.”

  Leave it to her to point that out. She would never stoop that low. “I know.”

  “I went on a couple dates these past few years. No one serious. I ... I’ve been with other men but never more than twice. I couldn’t ... they weren’t...”

  “Shh. It’s okay.” It wasn’t that he didn’t want to hear about her sexual partners—although he really didn’t—but he didn’t want to focus on the past. Not when there was the potential of having a future.

  When she opened her mouth wide and exhaled a long yawn, he kissed her forehead and led her out of the room.

  “You’re tired.”

  “So are you.” She draped one arm around his waist and leaned on him while they went down the stairs.

  “You’ve had an exhausting few weeks. Get some rest. I’ll be back in the morning.” He kissed her at the door.

  “You won’t stay?”

  She was a beautiful angel with her hair all a mess and her navy blue top crumpled from their kissing sessions. Those full, pink lips and big, round eyes were begging for him to stay. To strip her down naked and make love to her all night long.

  When the time was right, he would. When her mind was clear of alcohol, when he didn’t have to work the following day, when she didn’t have those bags under eyes from missing Jerry.

  When they were both ready to plan a future together.

  “Dream about me? Wake up with a smile on your beautiful face and think of our kisses.” He licked his lips before bringing them down to hers.

  “You’ll do the same?”

  “Sweetheart. I’ve been dreaming about you every day since the first time I sat next to you in pottery class.”

  With that, he left her standing in the doorway with a satisfied smile on her face.

  Oh, he could only imagine the smile she’d wear after they made love again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR

  Jenna stretched until her toes hit the footboard and her fingers graced the headboard of her bed. Rolling her shoulders, she smiled in content.

  Tristan’s kisses were exactly as she remembered. Only better. His lips were soft and tickled her skin when he traced them along her jawline. He still had that gentle way with his hands. Last night’s make-out session was so...

  Her eyes opened and she gasped, bolting upright, her blankets falling to her waist. “Oh. My. God.”

  Moaning in disbelief, she fell back, her head making a new dent in her pillow. What had she done? Or worse, what had she said?

  She’d thrown herself at him, and he politely denied her. “Oh,” she moaned again, draping her forearm over her eyes to block out the memory. Only it didn’t.

  It took her two years of dating Tristan to finally initiate sex. Granted, they’d waited a year before going all the way. Even then, she had been shy and timid. While she loved making love to him, it took her a long time to feel confident in her body and her skills.

  Her experience with men since him had been limited. Not because of confidence necessarily, but because no one felt right to her. No one stirred her insides. No one kissed her like Tristan did.

  She was glad he didn’t take her up on her offer to have sex. While waking up next to him this morning would have been wonderful, they still had a lot to talk about. They’d danced around their past, and she couldn’t blame him for being hesitant with her.

  They’d parted on shaky grounds, and she wasn’t exactly mentally stable. Who would be after losing a child?

  Knowing she had to face the inevitable, Jenna rolled out of bed and threw on a sweatshirt. She went through her morning routine of coffee, breakfast, coffee, and inventory.

  Tomorrow started the long holiday craft fair weekend. She hoped to sell out of her pottery and maybe even sell some of her paintings. The extra cash would come in handy when planning renovations for Jerry’s house.

  Her house.

  Even with the mortgage completely paid and a nice deposit in her bank account from Jerry’s inheritance, she still needed to make a decent income. Her artwork was more of a nickel and dime business.

  Now that she had time on her hands, she had to find a more steady income. Her cell phone vibrated in her back pocket. Finishing the count of her honey pots, she scribbled the number down in her notebook and pulled out her phone.
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  Tristan. With a smile on her lips, she answered. “Hey.”

  “You sound chipper this morning.”

  She’d embarrassed herself last night. She should be answering with mortification, not in a sunshiny voice.

  “I’ve had two cups of coffee.”

  “And here I thought it was because of me.”

  Fifteen years and he could still see right through her. Or, in this case, hear right through her.

  “I’m finishing my inventory for this weekend.”

  “I’m sorry I’m going to miss it. I’m booked straight until Tuesday. Speaking of, do you have plans on that day?”

  “Tuesday?”

  “Yeah.”

  Jenna sat on her stool and swiveled like a nervous schoolgirl. “Not that I can think of.”

  “Can you block out the day for me? For us?”

  She literally bit her tongue so she wouldn’t sound too eager and took her time to respond.

  “Sure.” Her attempt at sounding casual ended up coming off as bored. Wrong impression. “I’d love to,” she added, hoping he could hear her sincerity.

  “Perfect. Good luck this weekend.”

  “Thanks. Have fun ... catering.”

  Tristan’s laughter reached out through her cell phone and wrapped its way around her heart.

  “I’ll be counting down the days until Tuesday.”

  WHY DID TUESDAY HAVE to seem so far away? Thankfully the craft fair was another success, and the constant stream of customers kept her busy. She really wished Tristan didn’t have to cater a wedding in Camden so he could come to the dance tonight.

  She’d have fun with her friends, but twirling around the dance floor with him would make it a billion times better.

  “Is that Rockland Harbor Lighthouse?” a customer asked, pointing at the painting hanging behind her.

  “It is.” She stepped aside so the woman could see it more clearly.

  “My husband and I spent our fortieth anniversary in Rockland and have been visiting the area every year since. This is the first time I heard about the holiday craft fair in Crystal Cove.”

  “Happy anniversary. We also have a fall festival during leaf peeping season.”

  “Thank you.” She waved to a gentleman across the hall, and he came scurrying over as quickly as his cane would allow him. “Honey. Don’t you think that painting would be gorgeous in your study?”

  The balding man leaned forward and slipped on the reading glasses dangling around his neck. “Bring that closer, dear, will you?”

  Jenna took the painting down and set it on the edge of the table for them. The 32 x 40 canvas was larger than she normally painted, but the shape and dimensions felt right for the lighthouse.

  “You painted this?”

  “I did.”

  “You’re very talented.”

  “Thank you.” It was still new to her, putting her work out there to be viewed and judged. The compliments made it all worthwhile and made up for the times people walked past her table without a second glance. She told herself it was because they weren’t into pottery and it had nothing to do with her skill. But she needed reminding of that, and it was customers like this adorable couple who made it all worthwhile.

  “Steven, we should get it. It can be your anniversary gift to me since you didn’t get me anything.”

  “I think being married for fifty-two years is gift enough, don’t you think?” He handed his wife his cane while he took his wallet out from the inside pocket of his coat. “Keep your woman satisfied. That’s the secret to a long marriage.” He held out his credit card for Jenna. “And I won’t even ask how much, or it’ll set me back a few steps and get me back in the doghouse again.”

  The woman rolled her eyes with a smile. “Steven’s a bit of a drama queen, but I love him anyway.”

  They reminded Jenna of what Jerry and Brigette must have been like in their prime. And because of that, she wanted to do something special. “Well, you’re in luck because this painting is fifty percent off this weekend.”

  It wasn’t, but she’d been hanging on to it for three years, too afraid to show her artwork in public. The fact that they wanted it meant more than the money she received from the sale. She swiped his card in her reader and gave him the receipt to sign.

  “I always know how to spot a bargain,” the woman said. “I’m going to tell my friend Donna about you when we get home. Do you have a business card I can give her?”

  Business card? That wasn’t something she thought she’d need. Selling her work in the tasting room at Coastal Vines and hitting a few craft shows was all she’d ever aspired to do with her work. And even that was more than she’d anticipated.

  Her art was a hobby, not a career.

  “I don’t, but I can give you my number. If you or your friend have a specific request for a painting or any of my pottery, just let me know.” She scribbled down her number and handed it to the woman.

  “Oh, thank you. My name Sarah Vetter by the way.”

  “Well, it was lovely to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Vetter. Let me wrap up your painting for you.”

  So caught up in the cute couple as they walked around the function hall stopping to chat with other vendors, she didn’t know anyone was behind her until a pair of lips met her neck.

  “That was very sweet of you. And you taste sweet as well.”

  “Tristan?” She smelled him, a concoction of herbs and soap, and rested her cheek against his. “What are you doing here?” He pulled away, and she turned to him. “I didn’t mean it the way it sounded. I just thought you were busy with work.”

  “I am.” He moved her braid to her front, draping it over her shoulder, and brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “I have about four minutes to get back to the kitchen and unload from the bridal shower brunch and prep for a wedding tonight.”

  Yet he stopped by to say hello. To kiss her neck.

  “Thank you for coming by.” She placed her hands on his chest, wanting to press herself into him and kiss like they did a few nights ago. Aware of their surroundings, she kept a breath of space between their bodies.

  “I wish I had more time.” He kissed her forehead. “Tuesday. Sunup until sundown. Promise.” He kissed her forehead again and tugged on her braid. “I have to go.”

  “Okay.” She knew she sounded stupid, but heck. He was so sweet.

  “And that was really nice what you did for that couple. You’re a good person, Jenna Snyder.”

  “So are you, Tristan Ketch.”

  He kissed her nose before he slipped away.

  “So it is true.” Alexis popped up out of nowhere.

  “What?” Jenna toyed with her braid, flicking it behind her.

  “Grace said Carter’s been kinda bummed these past few days, then he mentioned something about you and your ex.” She handed her a water bottle.

  “Thank you.” She took the bottle and uncapped it. Alexis watched her, giving her the evil eye and waiting for more information. “Carter and I ended on good terms. Actually, he’s the one who broke things off with us.”

  “That’s what he said to Grace. So you and Tristan are back together? Are you sure you’ve forgiven him?”

  With a heavy sigh, she lowered herself to the stool behind the table. “I have. It was a terrible freak accident, but it’s easier if I don’t think about it.”

  “You think you can have a relationship with him and not think about the child you lost? She was his baby too. He’s gotta be thinking about her all the time as well.”

  Leave it to Alexis, the practical friend, to point out the obvious.

  “I know. We’re spending the day together on Tuesday. We’ll figure it out.”

  “Sooner rather than later. You lost a good chunk of years to depression. I’d hate to see you go back down that road if it doesn’t work out with you two. Rekindling this relationship is risky.”

  It must have been the whirlwind of emotions running through her after Jerry died that loosened her up
enough to bare it all to the girls one night. They’d come over with food and drink offering their company, and she told them every little detail.

  Since then, Alexis and Grace had been like watchdogs. Alexis still not sure of Tristan, and Grace looking out for her soon-to-be brother-in-law. Lily and Hope were Switzerland, offering support wherever and whenever she needed it, while Mia kept it all lighthearted and centered around sex.

  Sex that Jenna hadn’t had in a long, long time.

  “You’re not a very trusting person, are you?”

  “It’s not that. Okay, it is that.” Alexis tapped her finger on the table. “It’s nothing against Tristan. It’s guys in general. What is it they want? Friendship? Sex? Long term? How do you really know until it’s too late? So far, I see no current fault in Tristan. It’s you I worry about. I want you happy.”

  “I want to be happy too.”

  “He makes you happy now. But will he make you happy later? You can’t erase the past. Can you build a relationship with him if he reminds you of the child you lost? If you’re still blaming him for her death?”

  Yup. Leave it to Alexis to take the romance out of the situation and smack reality in her face.

  Tuesday needed to get here damn fast.

  “IT’S ABOUT TIME.” JENNA greeted him on the other side of her door, and he dragged her to him, covering her mouth with his.

  She returned his kiss and molded her body into his, just as he imagined for the past five days. She looped her hands around his neck and pulled him closer. Yes, this was what he’d been waiting for all these days. Months. Years.

  He shifted and angled his mouth until the air they breathed was each other’s. Soaking up all that was Jenna, he slid his hands up her back and tangled them in her hair.

  It was down and flowed freely, just how he liked it. He gathered her thick, dark locks and pulled them to the side, exposing her neck. Slowly, he made a trail of kisses from the corner of her lip, across her cheek, and to that beautifully sensitive spot behind her ear.

  “That tickles.”

  “I know.”