Finding Our Way Back (A Well Paired Novel)

by Rice, Marianne

  “I like it.”

  “I know.” He finished kissing her—for now—and righted himself. “How was the craft fair?”

  He already knew. They managed a few texts in between catering events, and he talked to her on the phone driving to and from. Hearing her stories in person was even better.

  “Busy. I sold three paintings and more than fifty percent of my pottery.”

  “I’m proud of you.” He kissed her on the nose and peeked over her head. “Not to rush you, but are you ready?”

  “I am. You said sneakers and a warm coat.”

  “You know Maine. The weather report says forty, but it could be fifteen degrees cooler on the coast.”

  “True story.” She picked up her purse and black coat from the arm of the couch. “Ready.”

  Taking her hand in his, he led them to his car, holding the passenger door open for her. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  “Does it matter?” He ducked his head into the car to kiss her on the lips before closing her door.

  “What if it does matter?” she asked when he got behind the wheel.

  “Then I’d tell you.” He liked the new, edgier Jenna. She had a fire and spunk that didn’t exist before.

  “So mysterious.”

  They talked easily about the town, her friends, his new recipe ideas until they got to the base of Mount Battie in Camden State Park.

  “We can drive to the top or hike it. It’s just under three miles round trip if we hike from the base.”

  “Let’s hike. I’ve been sedentary for so long between standing behind my booth this weekend and sitting at my pottery wheel.”

  “Hiking it is.” He reached into the back and grabbed a backpack.

  “Didn’t know you were a boy scout,” she said when they got out of his car, and he strapped on the pack.

  “I’m learning to be prepared for anything.”

  “Oh yeah? What’cha got in there?”

  “A little of this and a little of that. You’ll want your hat and gloves. We’ll warm up once we start hiking” After she put them on, he took her hand, and they headed toward the marked trail.

  When the hiking became a bit more laborious—especially with the heavy pack—he reluctantly dropped her hand so they could each steady their balance.

  It was past foliage season, so they had a better view of the ocean. Next fall he’d take her up here again when the trees would be a magnificent blend of yellows, oranges, and reds. When they reached the top, Jenna took off on a sprint to an open area and spun around.

  “Wow. Tristan. Come look at the view. You can see the ocean.”

  He dropped the pack and joined her. They stood shoulder to shoulder, amazed by the number of islands dotting the ocean. He was no artist, but the beauty of the setting wasn’t lost on him, nor the other hikers taking pictures.

  “Would you mind taking our picture?” he asked a couple nearby, handing the woman his cell phone.

  “I’d love to.”

  They turned so their backs were to the ocean. He draped his arm around Jenna’s waist and hugged her into his side. They smiled while the woman took a few pictures.

  “Could you take ours as well?” She handed him her phone, and he returned the gesture, making sure their two children were smiling before snapping away. “Thank you. Enjoy your visit.”

  “You too.” He gave her back the phone and picked up his bag. “Hungry?”

  “I can only imagine what you packed in there. I take it granola bars and trail mix are beneath the critically acclaimed Chef Ketch.”

  The smart ass in her was not doing anything to help his libido. It didn’t seem to matter what her mood or tone was, everything about Jenna made him fall more and more in love with her.

  “I’ll have you know,” he said as he led her to an outcropping of rock that had a million-dollar view overlooking the coast of Maine, “that I’m not exactly critically acclaimed.”

  “Not from what I’ve heard.”

  So she’d been asking or researching. Either way, he liked it.

  Tristan unzipped his bag and held out a banana. “Fresh from the grocery store.”

  “A chain store?” She held a hand over her chest in mockery. “You mean you didn’t fly down to Costa Rica and pick them yourself?” She peeled the banana and took an overly aggressive bite.

  Cute, this one.

  “We can add it to our bucket list.” Our bucket list. Not his. He handed her a water bottle. “Before you mock me, no I didn’t drive to Poland Spring either.”

  “And you call yourself Fresh Ketch.”

  He tapped his bottle to hers. “Cheers, my fresh one. Oh. I have granola too.” He took out a bag and handed her a package.

  “I knew it.” She unwrapped his homemade granola bar and took a bite. “Oh, so good. What’s in it?”

  “Oatmeal, coconut, dried fruit, sunflower seeds, and some other stuff. Real honey is the secret ingredient. You’d be surprised how many people actually buy their honey in those little bear-shaped plastic containers from the grocery store.”

  “You went through my cabinets and know I have a honey bear in there.” She tossed her banana peel at him.

  “You’re still learning. Once you taste real honey from a beekeeper, you’ll never go back.”

  “Oh!” She twisted her body so she faced him. “I can’t believe I forgot to tell you. Honey Purnell from the Honey Pot, you know the store in town? Close to Books by the Ocean?”

  “I haven’t had much time to explore around town. I know Hope’s restaurant The Happy Clam and the Sunrise Diner. The woman there thinks she’s psychic.”

  “Priscilla? Yeah, she’s pretty funny. And actually pretty accurate in her aura readings. She totally called Lily and Ty. And predicted Hope and Cameron too. I’m pretty sure she knew about Ben and Alexis before they did.”

  “You believe in that stuff? The color readings?”

  “You’ve heard of it?”

  “She tried her voodoo on me once.”

  “Oh yeah?” Jenna wiggled her eyebrows. “What did she say?”

  “Something about yellows and deep layers.”

  “Layers? That’s good. I’d hate to be shallow.”

  “You were telling me about The Honey Pot.”

  “Yes.” She tapped his knee excitedly. “Honey is a little eccentric as well. She’s good friends with Priscilla, so it only makes sense. Anyway, she stopped by my table at the fair and asked if I’d make a bunch of honey pots for her. And if they sell, she said I could put my pottery in her shop on consignment.”

  “That’s wonderful.” He squeezed her hand. “What kind of store is The Honey Pot?”

  “It’s a little bit of everything. Mostly it’s homemade stuff from the farming families. Goat milk soap and candles. Essential oils made with locally grown herbs. Jewelry made from sea glass and seashells. She doesn’t carry generic stuff you can buy at any trinket shop. Only local products. And now she wants to include my work.”

  “I’m proud of you.” Tristan leaned over and kissed her on the lips. “It’s only a matter of time before you’ll need to hire help to keep up with the demand.”

  “Speaking of, I should probably make a website and order business cards. That way people can contact me about special orders.”

  “I’m surprised you haven’t done that already.”

  Jenna took a bite of her granola bar and chewed, swallowing it down with a sip of water. “It was just a hobby to pass time while I took care of Jerry. I didn’t have time to turn it into a business.”

  “And now you do.” He kissed her again, enjoying the taste of banana and honey on her tongue.

  They finished their snack, cleaned up their mess, and explored the top of the mountain before making the trek back down to his car.

  “Now where to?”

  “Just being with you is good enough for me, but want to walk through Camden? We can window shop and maybe get some creative ideas for your artwork.”
r />   “That’s perfect.”

  It didn’t take long to drive into town and find a parking space. In the summer the town was bumper-to-bumper traffic on Route One. Fall brought leaf peepers, but not in groves like the summer weather. And the colder months kept most people at bay.

  The afternoon flew by as they walked the town hand-in-hand. They ate a late lunch, sharing a fisherman’s platter by the ocean; he couldn’t imagine a more perfect day.

  The sun had started to set by the time he turned into her driveway.

  “Would you like to come inside? I know you said sunup to sunset, and the sun hasn’t fully gone down yet.”

  “I’d love to.”

  Once inside, she poured them both a glass of wine and joined him on the couch. Tristan didn’t want to ruin the mood of the day, but they had an elephant hanging over them that needed to be addressed.

  He set his glass down and took her hand in his. “I had a really nice time today.”

  “I did too. I know you don’t have a lot of time off. Thank you for spending it with me.”

  “There’s no one else I’d want to spend it with.” He took the glass from her hand and set it next to his.

  Jenna scooted closer and initiated the kiss. They fit together like wine and cheese. No, it was peaches and cream. She always tasted so sweet and fresh.

  He brushed the hair out of her eyes and traced the outline of her face with his thumbs. “You’re so beautiful.”

  She licked her lips and lowered her gaze. “You don’t have to say these things, Tristan.”

  “If I had to say them they wouldn’t have the same effect, would they?” He kissed her forehead and sat back so they could have their serious discussion without the distraction of her lips.

  “You’ve always been good with words.” She twisted her body so she faced him and brought one knee up on the couch.

  He was about to prove her wrong on that front. He had no idea how to bring it up or finesse the situation. Being blunt and getting it out there to discuss was the only way.

  “I can’t even tell you how much I’ve missed you these past eight years.” He stroked his thumb across her knuckles and kept his eyes on hers.

  “I’ve missed you too.”

  “I want to have a future with you.”

  Jenna licked her lips again and stared down at their joined hands. “I want that too,” she whispered.

  “But you have doubts.”

  She closed her eyes and slipped her hands from his. “I ... when I don’t think about ... what happened, I’m blissfully happy. But I can’t stop thinking about it. About her. We lost our daughter.”

  “I’ll never stop thinking about Anna. She’ll always be our daughter, and I’ll always regret not being able to watch her grow up into a mini version of you.”

  “Please. You’d have spoiled her rotten. She’d have been a Daddy’s Princess wrapped around your finger.”

  Tristan grinned. “If she turned out to be anything like you, then yes. I’d be wrapped around her finger, and she’d be wrapped around my heart.” He ran his hand across her ankle, needing to touch her. “We faced a terrible tragedy that ripped us apart. Is Anna’s death always going to be there, keeping us from being together?”

  “I don’t know.” Jenna pulled her foot away and stood. She paced the living room, wringing her hands together in front of her. “When I’m with you, I’m not thinking about her, and that makes me sad. When you’re not around, I remember how happy we were. How perfect our life was until ... the accident.” She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

  He wanted to run to her, to hold her and tell her everything would be alright, but she needed to talk it out.

  They needed to talk about their feelings, their worries, their fears. It would be the only way to fully heal.

  And he needed to know. “When you see me, when you’re with me, do you still think of me as Anna’s killer?”

  Jenna stopped her pacing and faced him, her head hanging low, and her eyes big and round with remorse. “I’m sorry I said that to you,” she choked between tears. “I was so awful to you. I wasn’t ... I didn’t ever think about your feelings and that you lost a daughter too. I only thought about myself.”

  He got up from the couch and approached her, still keeping a few feet of space between them. “Don’t blame yourself for how you dealt with the loss. I did and said some things I regret as well.”

  Not a lot. He didn’t regret lying to her. There was one secret he would carry to his grave. If she ever found out, he feared he’d lose her forever. It scared the hell out of him when she went into her deep, dark depression. He never wanted her to see that place again. And if she knew...

  “Are you kidding?” She sniffed. “You were a rock. I beat on you emotionally and physically, and you never flinched. I said some hateful words to you I’ll always regret.”

  “No regrets.” This time he encroached on her space and held on to her shoulders. “We can’t live in the past, Jenna. All we can do is learn from it and work hard to make a better future. And I want that future. With you.”

  Her body shook with tears, and she opened her mouth to speak. “I want that,” she croaked, her voice filling with tears. “I want to try.”

  She slid her hands up his body and linked them behind his neck. “I’m a crying mess and don’t want to see what I look like in the mirror, but I’m hoping you’ll make love to me anyway.”

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Tristan wiped her tears with his thumbs and cupped her face, bringing her mouth to his. “You’re a beautiful woman inside and out,” he whispered across her lips.

  Their mouths mated with a raw hunger their previous kisses hadn’t experienced. Their tongues danced and played with each other as he backed her toward her bedroom. He’d put off his carnal need for long enough. There was no way he could deny her anymore.

  When they reached her room, he felt along the wall for the light switch, not breaking their kiss.

  Jenna tensed when the lights went on. “Can we keep them off?”

  More than anything, he wanted to see her. See her curves, kiss the freckle on her lower back, and discover new freckles, dips, and even scars. He wanted all of her, but if she wasn’t ready for him to see all he’d respect that.

  “Whatever you want, sweetheart.” He turned off the switch and guided her to the bed. “If you change your mind, I’ll stop. I don’t want to rush you.”

  “I believe I was the one to suggest this.” The mischievous grin he loved so much quirked her lip. “Twice.”

  “Well, I’m not one to keep a lady waiting.” He scooped her up in his arms and tossed her in the middle of the bed. She screeched, and a peal of contagious laughter escaped her lips. After such an emotional evening, he wanted their lovemaking to be playful.

  Jenna lay sprawled on her bed, and he’d never seen a sight so beautiful. Her dark hair fanned out across the white pillows, her cheeks rosy with excitement. The pink ears of her comfort bear poked through the covers. He reached for her and stroked its ears before placing it on the bedside table.

  Jenna’s gaze met his, and they shared a moment of silence remembering Anna. Sad for what they lost, he had to continue to move on and was grateful for their present.

  “First,” he said, crawling across the bed like a predator and lightening the mood. “We need to get rid of some of these clothes.” He reached for the hem of her loose shirt.

  “Some? Why not all?” She beat him to it and lifted her top and flung it across the room.

  Her simple pale pink bra blended in with her pale skin. The contrast between her dark hair and light skin caused his jeans to tighten. More. He was going to have a hell of a time getting his zipper down. “That was sexy as hell, but let me do the rest.”

  “You’ve always been a slow mover.”

  “Patient. Patient because I know good things come to those who wait.”

  “Is this where you give me a food analogy? Where you tell me I’m like a chocolate
soufflé?”

  So she remembered that night as well. It had been the night he got his certificate from culinary school, and they’d made a baby.

  “You’re more like a plum pudding.”

  Jenna sat up on her elbows. “Pudding? You’re comparing me to pudding?” She stared at her belly. It had always been her most insecure area. She used to complain about not having a flat stomach like Mindy or her other friends.

  He loved her curves and that she’d always sample all his foods and not complain about being on a diet. He straddled her legs and sat back on his feet.

  “A good plum pudding can take weeks to make. The finest requires a year-long soaking process.”

  “A year? For pudding? That sounds kind of gross.”

  He grinned at her. “When the cake is liquor-soaked for a long period of time, it brings out the sweetness of the fruit. And when topped with hard sauce”—he licked his lips, lowering himself to her—“it’s sensational and so very worth the wait.”

  “Oh,” she moaned as he made a trail of kisses from the middle of her chest between her bra, up to her neck.

  “Sweeter.” He nibbled her earlobe. “Richer.” He nipped her chin. “And worth the time.” Their lips found each other, and she hooked her legs around his waist.

  If he was going to compare their lovemaking to the plum pudding process, they’d need to stay clothed—or at least partially clothed—a little bit longer. Once he got her naked, he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back for very long.

  They held each other in each other’s arms and kissed, and kissed, and kissed. When Jenna’s hands traveled south and slipped under his jeans, he pulled back.

  “We have all night.”

  “That’s a long time to keep up our stamina, and I’m a bit out of practice.” Jenna scooted to a sitting position and tugged at the hem of his shirt. “Or we can take it faster now, get a nap in, and then have a go at it again in a few hours. And then again in the morning.”

  Tristan chuckled. “You never cease to amaze me.”

  “You like my idea?”

  “I like that you’re eager to get me naked.” He kissed her nose. “And I really like the idea of waking up next to you in the morning.”

  Jenna was meant to be savored, and even though she wanted quick, he’d talk her into slowing things down. In the meantime, he stripped off his shirt and tossed it to the floor with hers.