Searching for the One

by Gabriella Murray

  Sara's head started to spin. They'd been apart for over nine months, he'd been living with Alicia since he'd moved out. Still, the thought of Sara with a new man raised some kind of hurt in him; Sara could feel it. Maybe, now that she had someone, he was having second thoughts; maybe he had a secret fear of losing whatever memory he'd been holding onto.

  "I'm dating, Melvin," she answered. "Why shouldn't I?"

  "Did I say you shouldn't?"

  Sara breathed deeply. She couldn't take Melvin seriously anymore, no matter what he said. Who was he to talk about reality, living with a twenty four year old?

  CHAPTER 14

  Dear Sunflower 101,

  I can tell you understand what my job means to me. The other women don't; not one of them knows about loyalty. As I see it, most people out there -men and women, live a life of jealousy and greed. I feel in my bones you're different, though, a loyal person who knows how to re-pay debts. No, you don't have to say anything, I can feel it just in your listening.

  Doing the work I do, I see many disheartening things. That's why you're such a treasures to me. Keep listening. Please.

  Yours,

  Greg

  Melvin was partially right. The calls from Tony grew more erratic and the next date they'd planned kept being put off. Whenever he did call, Sara didn't bother to ask where he was going anymore. Or when he was coming to see her. It began to seem irrelevant.

  June was approaching and the school year was coming to an end. Letters from the colleges started coming in. Chloe was accepted into her second and third choice schools, but was rejected from Colgate, her first choice. Despite the other acceptances, she was saddened. Plans for her prom and graduation intensified and Sara felt time slipping through her fingers as Chloe prepared for the end of high school.

  Sara went out into the garden that evening. The weeds had grown profusely these past weeks, and the earth was soft and ready after several days of rain. She'd taken to evening gardening, enjoying the weeding, planting and caring for the soil. As she dug in the garden, she saw Matt and Abel down the block, tossing a ball, something they both used to do with Melvin on late spring nights. Her heart ached for the empty place around them and she resolved to fill it. She dug deeper and deeper, preparing the soil for new growth.

  Matt's playoff baseball games were approaching and, to everyone's delight, he discovered he'd scored higher than expected on his SAT exams. The last remaining salamander in Melvin's fish tank had rallied, and Sara thought about going out and buying company for the lone survivor, even re-filling the tank.

  * ** * *

  The day of Matt's playoff game was perfect, sunny and clear with a light breeze. Melvin had called Matt first thing in the morning to say he couldn't make it; Matt said he wouldn't say why exactly, but he could hear Alicia's voice in the background.

  Abel hung close to Matt from early in the morning, gathering his stuff, and leaving with him a few hours before the game. Sara and Chloe followed soon after.

  The ballpark was filled with families and friends, sitting on the familiar, wooden benches that surrounded the park, waving to each other, and buying ice cream cones from the trucks that rolled by.

  Sara spotted several couples that she and Melvin used to know out with sitting together on the benches below. They were all dressed in crisp shirts and Polo pullover sweaters, chatting easily with each other. Sara waved as she approached. They nodded briefly and then looked away, continuing their conversations. Sara pretended it didn't make any difference that she was showing up alone.

  The game started off with a bang. The first one up hit a double and everyone was cheering when Sara felt a tap her on the shoulder. She turned, and to her shock, Tony stood over her.

  "Move over," he whispered. "I can't see the play."

  Sara couldn't move. "What are you doing here?"

  "Wanted to see the game. I called the house and Verna said you'd be here."

  "Who?"

  "Verna, the maid."

  "Berta?"

  "Yeah." He sat down next to her, taking it all in. "Hey, there's Stan Greer," said, pointing to the coach. "I know that guy for years."

  "No kidding." Sara was still amazed.

  "Which kid is yours?" Tony asked.

  Sara stood and pointed.

  "Why is he sitting down for?" Tony asked, frowning.

  "He's eighth in the line up."

  "Is that a fact?" Tony said, and then looked down the benches at Chloe, who, dumbfounded, was staring at him.

  Sara noticed the couples sitting below turn around and stare at Tony, trying to figure him out. He stared back, and they quickly turned away.

  "This is my daughter, Chloe," Sara said.

  "How are you doing?" he smiled broadly.

  "Pleased to meet you," Chloe said, grinning.

  "Nice of you to be here," Sara finally said.

  "There's no place I'd rather be."

  Tony got up from his seat without saying a word and sauntered down to the field. Sara and Chloe watched in amazement.

  "What's he doing?" asked Chloe.

  "I have no idea," said Sara, her heart beating a mile a minute.

  Sara craned her neck to see what was happening. Tony had his arms around the coach's shoulders and they were laughing. A few minutes later, he left the dugout and returned to join them.

  "How do you know him?" Sara asked, but stopped as she suddenly saw Matt getting up to bat.

  "What's Matt doing batting next?" Chloe piped up. "I thought he was eighth. . ." She stared unbelievingly.

  "There's balance in this world, honey," Tony said. "He's the only kid who's dad isn't here."

  "I don't think - " Sara began, but stopped as Matt got up to bat, looked at them on the benches, and then to everyone's amazement, hit a long, pop ball over the right-fielder's head. He ran full-speed to first, and kept running all the way to third.

  Abel jumped up and down, cheering the loudest.

  "That's the sax player?" Tony leaned over.

  "Yup."

  "You got one great family."

  Sara put her hand in his. He squeezed it hard and the two of them stood, hand in hand, watching the rest of the game.

  When Abel turned and saw Tony sitting there, he came back to the benches.

  "This is Tony," said Sara. "Tony - Abel."

  Tony reached into his pocket, brought out two candy bars and gave them both to him. Abel took them, looked down, then up at Tony, his face lighting with a smile.

  "Sit here," Tony said.

  They all watched as the next player on Matt's team had a hit, and Matt got to run home. Everyone, including Tony, stood up and roared.

  After the game was over - Matt's team winning l-O, he scoring the only run - Matt came running off the field. Sara ran to him and gave him a hug. Abel patted him on the shoulder and Tony hung back and grinned.

  "Sure glad I was able to see something like this," Tony said as Sara introduced them. For a glorious moment, they all stood together as a proud family would.

  Chloe, suddenly got restless."I've got to go," she said.

  "What's wrong kiddo?" Tony asked.

  Chloe looked up, caught off guard. "Nothing," she said.

  "She didn't get into Colgate," Sara said.

  "Mom!"

  "Colgate? What are they, nuts?" Tony asked.

  Chloe looked upset, and after peremptory good-byes sulked off.

  Matt and Abel were still soaring after the game and Tony took them all out for hamburgers. The other kids and their parents watched in shock as Fillipo got out and opened the door to the limo that was waiting for them at the curb.

  They laughed, ate, cheered Matt and felt as if Tony belonged right where he was. After dinner, he drove them all home, but didn't get out of the car to come in.

  "Wonderful day," he waved through the window as Sara and the kids all walked up the pathway, all turning at once to watch the limo trail off.

  * * * * *

  The very next day, a registe
red letter came for Chloe from Colgate.

  "What do they want now?" she said, tearing it open. "Once wasn't enough?" She stared at it for a full minute.

  "What?" Sara finally asked.

  "I've been accepted to Colgate," she said in a quivering voice.

  "Let me see," Sara rushed over.

  "This is weird, mom," Chloe said.

  Sara read it and swallowed hard. "Didn't they. . .?"

  Chloe burst into a huge grin.

  "Look at this! They said they made a mistake! I was on the waiting list and now I'm in! I'm in!"

  "Congratulations!" Sara came running over, giving her a huge hug, telling herself it was a mistake, that Tony had nothing to do with it at all.

  * * * * *

  The next few weeks were strange. Melvin started to return home more often, driving back and forth in front of the house. Sara tried to ignore the sight of his car, driving by, or sometimes even parked at the curb. There was no reason for him to station himself there.

  Sara wanted to tell Tony about it, but he did not call. She dreaded spending the summer waiting for him, but also dreaded seeing anyone else. One particular night, after Melvin had driven around the block at least ten times, Sara slept fitfully, tossing and turning, dreaming of hundreds of red, yellow and blue poppies falling around her, like a wedding bouquet, covering the ground. As she stood in the midst of them, a figure in the distance, approached. It was Tony. She ran to tell him what was happening, but he faded the moment she got close. Sara woke up in a sweat, the nails of her fingers dug into both palms.

  CHAPTER 15

  School was out and Tova's calls were becoming more regular again, as if she could sense things falling apart.

  "So, in another year it will be just you and Abel," she began this afternoon, as the sun filtered over Sara's sprouting garden. "Time is passing. No one can deny that."

  "Thanks, mom."

  "You know, Sara, you could learn a lot from Arnold."

  "You two are still talking?" Sara asked, horrified.

  "He's such a wonderful, patient person. He says patience is the key to living. He doesn't have one doubt you'll be back with both of us. Even though he doesn't see you right now, he's happy. He's secure. He even told his mother about you."

  Waves of nausea rippled through Sara. "Really?"

  "But me, I'm not so patient. I'm wondering, what happened to make my daughter take her time like this? Maybe, I thought, something terrible happened?"

  "Mom."

  "And you're ashamed to tell me about it! Or, there are diseases out there, Sara. You could have got one."

  "I don't have any diseases."

  "Sara, come home. And don't forget, whatever you do, Arnold's waiting. He's a patient man, but he can't wait forever."

  "Thanks, mom, I'll remember," she said, hanging up fast.

  Her mother's call rankled Sara and temporarily made her wonder what she was doing only waiting for Tony. She decided it was time for her to go back and speak to Camella again.

  When she called Camella early that evening, the phone just rang. Sara froze, thinking perhaps Camella, too, had vanished without leaving a trace, that perhaps she wasn't real either, just another figment of her over-strained mind. Usually Camella, or her assistant Glenda, answered by the third ring.

  Finally she picked up.

  "What the matter?" Sara asked.

  "I was resting," Camella said.

  "It's okay," Sara said, "I'll call you next week."

  "Never mind next week. Come over tonight. There's always time for you."

  Sara didn't really want to see her, but she felt she had to. Her life had come to a dead stop. She couldn't go forward with Tony and couldn't move backwards, dating anyone else. She got into her car and drove up to Yonkers, watching the sky grow darker as she drove, the air full of summer rain, hoping Camella would give her some kind of key.

  As she pulled up to the house, a few huge rain drops splashed on the windshield. She walked quickly up the steps without an umbrella, rang the bell and let herself in. There was a sense of hushed expectation.

  Camella said nothing at first, just stared at something across the table.

  Sara suddenly wondered why, for all these years, she'd hung onto every word this woman said.. What kind of fear had she been living in to need guidance like this, every step of the way? How did she allow herself to live like this, instead of forging a life of her own?

  "I don't need any pencils tonight," Camella said. "There's someone else in the picture now," she paused, seemed taken aback. "I had no idea. . ."

  "Someone else in his life?" Sara asked.

  "No, in yours."

  Sara was bewildered.

  "I can't get the picture clearly, though. This guy's different from anyone I would have ever thought. . ."

  Sara breathed faster. "Will I meet him soon?"

  "I said he's In your life, sweetheart - not coming. He's here now. I see an engagement!"

  "Tony?"

  "Can't tell. As of now, no."

  Sara's heart stopped. "As of now?"

  "Facts change sweetheart. I'm not a fortune teller. I tell it like it is."

  Sara racked her brain for who else it could be. Who could ever get in the way of her and Tony?

  "He's an important person in my life now?"

  "Could be," Camella said. "I'm surprised, actually." She leaned back and swooped her head down over the edge of the wicker chair. "I didn't expect interference like this."

  "Could it be. . . Arnold?" Sara said, growing alarmed.

  Camella's eyes fixed on hers."Who's that?"

  "You have no hit on Arnold?"

  "Sounds something like that. . .Arnold, you say?""

  "Maybe it's Melvin?"

  "No, not Melvin. Arnold. . . maybe?"

  Camella lifted her head from the back of the chair and raised both eyebrows. "Whoever it is, he's interfering."

  "How can anyone interfere with fate, Camella?"

  "Well, he's doing it! Don't ask me how!"

  Sara started crying softly, and Camella closed her eyes. Sara realized she was simply crying for the stupidity of her life thus far.

  "Cry," Camella said softly. "It's good for you honey. I wish I could cry too. The best advice I can give you, Sara, is to accept whatever comes along."

  "What about Tony?"

  "What about him?" Camella suddenly sat upright, as torrents of rain started to fall so loud and fiercely that Sara could hardly hear another word. The pounding rain all over the house seemed to clear away the static and break the spell. They were both ready to end the session.

  "I've got to get going," Sara said and got up.

  "It's gonna be okay, sweetheart," Camella answered.

  Sara returned home to find her telephone answering machine playing a message. She rushed over to listen and to her surprise it was Henry, an architect from one of the emails. They had spoken months ago; he had planned leave town and had said he would call when he returned.

  Sara knew the timing could not be a coincidence. Camella had seen someone else in her life. She knew she had to be open to whatever life was bringing. She quickly picked up the phone, greeted Henry, and made a date to see him the very next night.

  * * * * *

  Sara pushed her way through the revolving doors at the Swan feeling as if her life were going in circles and that, by now, she was a veteran of the single's scene.

  Nick came running over. "Where were you? We missed you! You were gone so long! I said to the others, there's news. Probably she's engaged by now."

  "Not quite."

  "You're not?"

  "Sorry, Nick."

  Then it hit him. "You're here for another date?"

  "What can I do?" Sara asked.

  "Keep going honey," Nick said. "You're brave, you're terrific. We're rooting for you."

  As the two of them chatted, the revolving doors spun and a tall, slender, extremely handsome man wafted through, with silky blonde hair wafted through,
impeccably dressed.

  "Henry?" Sara asked, her eyes widening.

  "Fantastic," Nick muttered under his breath.

  "You can't be Sunflower 101" Henry glided to her, eyes open wide.

  "I am."

  "My God! This is the best day of my life."

  Sara was amazed.

  Nick quickly interceded, "Let me get you darlings the best seat in the house."

  Henry smiled at Nick, who led them to a booth in the back corner, snuggled under a hanging Fern, cozier than the others.

  Nick was excited. "Don't you two even ask - I'm getting you Cappuccinos!"

  "Perfect," Henry said. Then, to Sara, "What a charming fellow." He reached out his hands to Sara who felt enormously friendly towards this lanky, good looking man.

  They chatted easily about everything and nothing. Henry lived in Manhattan, was a partner in an architectural firm and specialized in contemporary summer beach houses.

  "Tons of glass, sunshine and perfect wooden decks."

  The two of them laughed.

  "A perfect place to drink Sangria and watch the ocean pound the shore."

  Sara was entranced. What a relief to be with such a chatty, sensitive, man.

  "And you?" Henry asked.

  "A potter. Raku."

  "I adore Raku."

  "Really?"

  "Absolutely. I've seen three showings of it, most recently in New England."

  Sara was thrilled.

  "What else, tell me more about you, immediately," he said.

  "I've three children."

  "My God. No one would suspect it."

  "Almost grown."

  "Thank heavens."

  "How about you?" Sara asked. "Married?"

  "No," he said smiling languorously.

  "What?" Sara asked, sensing something was off.

  "No. . . nothing," Henry said.

  The date went wonderfully and the two of them planned to have dinner the next night.

  Sara felt afraid to get excited, tried to pushing the burgeoning fantasies away; but she couldn't help it. She imagined herself and Henry on a whirl, dancing, talking, walking at the beach, visiting art galleries. . . She pictured him back home with the kids. They would all be impressed. And a date the very next night, Sara thought. He's right here. This is clearly a man who's not afraid.