Searching for the One

by Gabriella Murray

  Henry came to the house dressed in a white, linen suit and driving a sleek, blue car. As soon as he rang the bell, Chloe ran to the door so she could see him for herself.

  "This is my daughter, Chloe," Sara said, as he walked in.

  "Charmed," my dear," said Henry.

  Sara watched him pass Chloe's subtle inspection with flying colors. He held the door open, and as the two left, Sara waved to Chloe.

  "I adore children," Henry said as they got into the car. He looked over at her as the car started and they floated along. "Why do I feel this is the start of a wonderful, new chapter in my life?"

  "Me too," Sara murmured.

  He put his hand over hers, "You're a delight, dear," he said. "First we'll take a drive along the water, if you like."

  "I'd love it."

  Sara felt as if she were on a cloud. She thought of the warnings Camella had given her; Henry didn't fit any of them. There was absolutely nothing dangerous about him; he was warm and playful with an unusual lightness that was a great relief. Could this be the one?

  They drove for about fifteen minutes to a road which wound around the water's edge. When they got there, he slowed down so they could allow the blanket of stars in the sky to encompass them.

  "What a beautiful night," whispered Sara.

  "There's magic between us," he said, "do you feel it too?"

  "I do," Sara said.

  They dined at a small, romantic restaurant, then walked on a pathway along the gurgling bay. He took both her hands in his and said softly, "There's something I must tell you, dearest."

  "Yes?" Sara was almost ready for a declaration of love.

  "Remember you asked if I was married?"

  Her stomach started to fall.

  "No, no, don't look that way, please. I'm not married."

  "But?"

  "I must tell you this before we get started. There's. . . a man in my life."

  Sara lurched backwards.

  "Don't jump to conclusions. It's complicated."

  "A man?"

  "Angelo and I have been together forever, but I'm getting sick of him now. From time to time I've had women too, and really, I've liked it quite a lot."

  Sara felt her entire body shiver.

  "I want to start a whole new chapter and thought I'd try a woman again. Get out of the rut I've been in with Angelo. He and I sort of live together, but it's almost over. Can you deal with this?"

  "Thanks for your honesty," Sara said when she could finally talk.

  "I feel you're very special, Sara."

  "You are, too, Henry."

  "But can you deal with this?"

  "I don't think so," she said, her heart fluttering like a bird with a broken wing.

  * * * * *

  Sara couldn't tell Chloe what went wrong this time; instead she called Cynthia. Cynthia was finally in a committed relationship with a man twice her age and Greta was about to become engaged to a widower she'd just met. Wanda had given the single scene up and Iris was with someone she used to know. Even though it was late, Sara let the phone ring.

  After a while a sleepy Cynthia answered. "Hello?"

  "I've got to talk to you," Sara mumbled into the phone. "I'm shaken."

  "What happened?" Cynthia woke up.

  "This wonderful man I told you about. . ."

  "Yes?"

  "He's living with a guy."

  "A roommate?"

  "A romantic relationship!"

  There was a stunned silence on the other end. Then Cynthia burst into rapid fire.

  "I refuse to hear about another one of these incongruous, inappropriate, potentially hazardous situations. Forget it, Sara. Drop it all. Go home to Arnold. Camella was right, your destiny's spinning. It won't let you meet someone normal. Obviously you and Arnold are meant -.

  "Wait a second. . ."

  "Call your mother and tell her you've made up your mind - Move on with Arnold. What's wrong with him? I've often thought he sounded fine."

  "I can't bear that," Sara whispered.

  "Bear it!" yelled Cynthia. "At least give this one, decent, stable guy a chance."

  * * * * *

  Sara could not say anything to anyone about what happened with Henry. The incident made her feel flimsy. She hadn't acted upset with him though, just gracefully backed away. In the end, he didn't seem to care much, said he hoped they'd be friends and talk once in a while. And she would. She genuinely liked him, but all of it left her shaken, wondering about her fate.

  When Chloe asked her when she would see him again, Sara said he'd gone away, on a cruise to the Archipelago Islands.

  "After all that?" Chloe was shocked.

  "People have plans they've made a long time ago.""

  "Then why did he rush you like that?" Chloe looked suspicious.

  "Only God knows."

  "Mom, nothing is working! You'd better try something radically different," Chloe looked pale. "I hate to go off to college and think of you in this kind of bind. It will drain my attention. For my sake, please, try something different."

  Chloe's words pierced Sara deeply. She was right - nothing was working out. There had to be some reason. More than ever, she waited for the phone to ring and hear Tony's sweet, gruff voice tell her it was gonna be okay. But it never did. Once again he had disappeared into vast unknown. After a heartbreaking week of waiting, she decided it was time to go back to Brooklyn and give Arnold another chance.

  * * * *

  "I'm glad you're finally coming to your senses," Tova said, when Sara told her. "I'll cook a delicious pot roast for the occasion - garlic, potatoes, carrots and peas."

  "A pot roast? In June?"

  "What's wrong with it?"

  "Why don't Arnold and I go out alone for Chinese?" said Sara, "You don't have to go to all that trouble."

  "Chinese? Never. You've got to treat him with respect! A nice home-cooked meal will hit the spot for him! Besides, if you eat home, it's cheaper. Arnold's a man who looks at dollars and cents."

  "Don't say another word!" Sara cried. "He's not for me. I'm positive!"

  "You're not positive! And before you jump to all your conclusions, let me say another thing: when you come for the meal, it's only proper to bring your family."

  "What?"

  "He told me he's bringing his the next time he sees you."

  Sara couldn't believe what she was hearing.

  "Why in the world?"

  "He doesn't think there's a point in taking this further unless all of you can meet. He's a realistic man. Remember it's not just the two of you anymore."

  Sara was stunned by the thought of it, but, to her surprise, it pleased her too. There was truth to what her mother was saying. The web a family created encompassed them all; she could never be happy with someone if her children were left out.

  When Chloe, Matt and Abel heard about the dinner, they groaned in exasperation.

  "No way," Matt said. He'd gotten much taller over the year, and had a shock of dark hair that fell over his forehead, exactly as Melvin's did.

  "Do we have to?" Abel asked.

  "I'm not going to eat with someone loser's kids," Matt continued.

  "He's not a loser!" Sara said.

  "Please, mom," Chloe said, "on a Sunday afternoon?"

  "How many kids does this guy have?" Matt said.

  Sara didn't know.

  "And what happened to their mom?" Chloe asked. "I think it's creepy we're supposed to have dinner with his kids, just like that."

  Sara vaguely remembered that Arnold's wife had had a nervous breakdown, but didn't want to say it.

  "How come we didn't know you were involved?" Matt wouldn't let it go. "How many times have you seen him, and why is he the one you chose for us to have dinner with?"

  Sara couldn't bring herself to say that pure desperation did it - the horror of one more date gone wrong, of not hearing from Tony for too long.

  "I'm not sure about his former wife," she said.

  "And what
happened to Tony?" Matt asked

  Sara looked at him, Matt looked away.

  "I liked that guy," he said under his breath.

  Sara's heart went out to him.

  "I don't know what happened to Tony, Matt. "I'm sorry, I really am."

  "Whatever," Matt said, storming off to his room.

  * * * * *

  The dinner took place the following week, at six o'clock sharp at Tova's house. They all dressed for the occasion, Matt in a black shirt, his hair completely slicked back, Chloe wearing a beige silk suit and Abel, begrudgingly, pulling on new khakis and a shirt. Sara chose a plain, ivory dress, a strand of pearls, combing her hair back smoothly.

  "This is not exactly comfortable," Chloe said, as they climbed the steps of their grandmother's house.

  "Come in!" Tova cried, smiling from ear to ear, dressed in a fancy blue-silk dress. A huge strand of pearls hung around her neck. "Enjoy. How long has it been since all of you came to visit. Forever."

  Abel squirmed as he approached. "Hi, grandma," they said.

  "Hello, mom," Sara said.

  "Now this is the daughter I used to know! My real daughter is back."

  After they all were properly hugged, they stepped into the house where the steaming smell of the pot roast hit them. Sara spotted the dining room table, leaves unfolded to full length covered by a peach table cloth, fine china and daffodils.

  They all spread out on the sofa, as Arnold was not expected for awhile. But the moment they all sat down, the front doorbell rang fiercely, as if someone's finger was stuck to the buzzer.

  "They're early," Tova breathed. "He must be a little anxious." She ran over to greet them all.

  After a few minutes of voices at the doorway, Arnold walked in, smiling too broadly and wearing a plaid summer shirt and light, pale blue pants. His two very thin daughters trailed behind. Both had their hair pulled back tight, with gold barrettes snapped in the same place. Arnold turned and presented them.

  "Matilda and Fern," he announced.

  The two girls stared unsmilingly.

  "Give them time and they warm right up."

  Matilda and Fern just stared. Abel made a face, and Matt looked like he wanted to bolt.

  "This is a day to remember," Tova said. "Let's all go into the dining room. The food's hot. It's waiting."

  "Nothing better than a woman who knows how to cook," Arnold said, glancing at Sara with a warm smile. "Like mother like daughter, they always say." He came beside her as the rest of them walked in for the meal.

  "I'm so happy you decided to come," he said. "Your children look wonderful."

  "Thank you," Sara said, sorry she couldn't say the same.

  "If nothing else, I'm a family man."

  "I can see that," Sara said.

  "And what else can you see?" He poked her gently in the ribs.

  "What do you mean?"

  "Us. . . can you see that too?"

  "You barely know me," Sara said in a thin voice.

  "I looked into things."

  "What?" Sara was speechless.

  "I spoke to a few people. Not one had a bad thing to say. I'm a thorough man, Sara. You'll get to know that soon."

  Sara, entirely chilled, took a deep breath, as hot pot roast filled her lungs.

  "You two lovebirds come in and sit down," Tova called.

  Arnold and Sara walked into the dining room together, and for an odd moment, she felt like part of a couple again. It almost felt good, being with someone solid, who wouldn't blow away in the next breeze; someone with whom she could make plans, build a future, provide her children with a stable home.

  Arnold's two daughters sat together at the end of the table, saying nothing and looking down. Sara's heart went out to them. It must be very hard on them, she thought, meeting someone who could be their new mom.

  "Let's sit in the middle," she suggested to Arnold. He quickly agreed.

  Tova brought out platters of pot roast, roasted potatoes, peas and carrots, passing them around. Chloe, Matt and Abel didn't take any. Matilda and Fern took heaping servings.

  "What's the matter?" Sara asked.

  "I'm not that hungry," Matt said.

  "Me either," said Abel.

  "That's not polite," Matilda said in a snippy tone.

  They all looked at her.

  "How could you eat so little when you grandmother worked so hard?"

  "Maybe you'll like the salad?" Arnold interrupted, reaching out and putting it in front of them.

  "Eat the salad," Fern commanded.

  "Excuse me?" Chloe said.

  "Peace," Arnold said, raising his hand. "This is an important meeting for us all. We all have to give and take a little. Start getting used to it."

  Sara felt more and more uneasy, as Fern and Matilda stared at her.

  "Your children don't eat?" they asked finally.

  "You've got single custody?" Matt asked Arnold.

  "Yes."

  "How come?"

  "There are reasons for everything," he replied. Arnold put down his fork and for the first time his expression changed.

  Sensing the tension, Tova ushered the kids into the back garden for "cookies and lemonade". Before Sara knew it she was sitting alone with Arnold.

  "It's not easy in the beginning," said Arnold. "We'll get used to each other though."

  Sara didn't say anything, just looked down at her hands, folded like a schoolgirl, in her lap.

  "I've gone over the situation with a fine toothed comb," Arnold continued. "I decided to forget about building an extension on my house. We'll move to a new, bigger home. Fill it with fine furniture and drapes."

  Sara tried not to envision the scene, but despite herself couldn't help imagining all of them in a new, bigger home, filled with overstuffed furniture and thick drapes covering the windows, keeping the light out. She wondered what would become of her shed.

  "There'll also be trips, since I know you like to travel," Arnold continued methodically. "Three a year, to be precise. To the mountains, the seashore, and a long week-end in the city. I'm a frugal man, Sara, but I know where to spend. Don't doubt me," he said, putting his very warm hand over hers. "I'm getting ready."

  "I don't think this will work, Arnold," Sara said gingerly.

  "I told my mother I've found someone. She's so relieved, she can finally sleep at night. Her insomnia is over."

  "That was premature," Sara said, barely able to breathe.

  "You think it's easy to find someone to make a life with? If you do, try it. You think you'll find someone out there willing to accept such a big family? They don't make men like that anymore these days. You don't want to be alone forever, do you? Thankfully, you found me - and I found you too. You're nothing like my wife, thank heavens. She gave me trouble from day One. At least she gave me two beautiful daughters. You'll get to love them too."

  Sara squirmed in her chair; the heat of the afternoon was getting to her. As Arnold droned on, his words had a soporific effect, making it seem as if she were at the end of the line and he was offering the only possible hope.

  He pressed his hand more firmly on hers.

  "I'd like to have a celebration party before too long, so all our friends can meet each other too."

  "Celebrating what?" Sara asked in a small voice.

  "Celebrating our relationship!"

  Sara felt as if she were going mad.

  "What relationship, Arnold?"

  "The one that's starting right now. My mother can't wait to meet you, Sara. She's an old lady - you never know how long she'll be here. I want to give her that pleasure, put her mind at ease. We'll invite all our friends, family and cousins, just so everyone can say hello."

  "I'm not sure quite yet, Arnold."

  "Well, think it over. But don't delay. Soon people will be taking their summer vacations. This would make me so happy, Sara, you'll never really know."

  * ** * *

  On the way home in the car they were all deadly silent. Finally Abel
spoke up. "Drive steady, mom, I'm about to throw up."

  "From grandma's pot roast?" Matt asked.

  "From Matilda and Fern."

  "That's mean," Sara said.

  "It's true," Matt said, "you couldn't stand them yourself. Did you see how they ate all of the cookies. They didn't even leave one."

  "Arnold tries hard," Sara said. "He's not a bad man."

  "Mom," Chloe said, "you're not serious."

  Of course, Chloe was right. There was no way Sara wanted to live with Arnold and his daughters in an extra large house. She stared out of the window, as she drove, thinking that, after all, it might not so bad to be alone.

  CHAPTER 16

  Sara's mother called first thing the next morning.

  "Arnold called already," she said.

  Sara didn't want to hear another word.

  "He said you're a man's dream come true."

  Sara cleared her throat.

  "I'm not hearing anything on the other end," Tova probed. "Don't give me the silent treatment. What's your alternative? Going back to the ads?"

  "I need time to think everything over."

  "He needs time too. He's got to get his children ready for all the change. And what's the big deal about a little party? It would be nice, bring everyone together. It's not like a wedding or anything. Just a summer barbecue. We can even have it in your backyard, if that makes you feel better. Abel can play the saxophone. You'll invite whoever you like. We'll invite some people too. Arnold said he'll pay for everything - as long as you don't order gourmet meat."

  "I can pay for my own party."

  "Okay, but he's offering. That's what I call a generous man. How about it?"

  The idea suddenly didn't seem so bad to Sara. What was wrong with a summer barbecue? It would be an excuse to be social again. She'd invite all her friends, Abel could play his saxophone to his heart's delight.

  "Okay," she agreed reluctantly. "In my backyard. Two weeks from Sunday."

  Tova, bursting with happiness, shouted, "Now this is what I call good news! I'm calling it for next Sunday afternoon, before people leave for the summer. Arnold will be so excited, he won't be able to sleep all night."

  The weight of events came barreling at Sara like a freight train.

  "Besides, I already called the caterer," Tova continued. "I didn't give him a date, just said - get ready."