Renewing Hope (In Your World #2)

by Jennyfer Browne

  “We will show you. That is what sisters do.”

  I wrapped my arm around her and held her close, happy to have the support of my new sisters. It made me think wistfully of Stacie, and I had to wonder where she was and what she was doing. It would be sad to not have her here when my own wedding happened.

  I missed her with a sudden, sharp pang of loss.

  Perhaps Nathan had been earnest in his words to her that she could remain a part of my life. I needed to write to her and tell her the news, knowing she would worry about me.

  It’s what family did.

  The buggy pulled up to a car yard, tearing me away from my idle thoughts. Old cars littered the property near a large garage, many beyond their years and looking more like junk for parts than serviceable vehicles. Inside the covered work area was my car, sitting there as Mark and I passed it on our way to the office. Seeing it there, knowing I would never drive again, was a dose of reality to what my life would be life before long.

  A life with no technology, no cars. Simple things. No luxuries.

  "Are you all right, Katherine?" Mark asked as we stepped into the small office.

  I forced a smile and nodded.

  I wasn't going to dwell on things I was leaving behind.

  I was looking ahead to what there was to build here.

  "Mark!"

  I looked up to see an older man, greasy and weathered from working on cars, stepping in from a door behind the counter in the office.

  Mark leaned over the counter and shook the man's hand. The man glanced at me for a moment before turning his attention to Mark as he spoke.

  "I hear you have an interest in the car we had brought in," Mark said with an easy going smile.

  The older man nodded, his face becoming that of the businessman as it grew serious. He wiped some of the grease off his hands with the work towel while he discussed my car.

  "It needs a lot of work. Not a bad body but under the hood, it will need a lot of tender loving care to bring the best price," he was saying, his voice sounding a little wearied, like my car was too much work for him to fix up.

  I bristled at his words.

  If there was one redeeming quality about Sean, it was that he knew cars. And he took care of mine like it was his child. He had even haggled a price for it when I bought it. He had inspected it thoroughly and berated me when I didn’t change the oil or rotate the tires per his orders. It wasn’t the newest and greatest, but it was in far better condition than this man was letting on.

  Mark was listening to him, his reaction contemplative as the man ticked off the problems.

  "The engine will need a rebuild. The tires are worn. Cracked radiator. New brakes, and I would think probably work on the struts..."

  I shook my head and put my hand up.

  The man stopped talking at my reaction, his eyes trained hard on me when I opened up my mouth.

  "The engine was still under warranty. The tires do need to be replaced, I agree. But the radiator is most definitely not cracked and the brakes have less than five thousand miles on them. It is in much better shape than you are telling us," I said firmly and watched his eyes slowly widen.

  He stood there in silence for an instant before looking over at Mark, poking his thumb in my direction.

  "Is this your wife?" he asked, and I could hear the bite to his words.

  Mark cleared his throat and shook his head.

  "She's my sister-in-law and the owner of the car," he mumbled and glanced at me as if embarrassed for my speaking up.

  Had I done something wrong?

  The man was trying to short us. And I wasn't having it. Not when this sale might get us through the winter. The man looked me over once more, obviously confused as to why an Amish woman would own a car. But I tilted my head up in defiance and stood my ground.

  "The car is worth Blue Book, which last I checked was over twelve thousand. It's been taken care of and all the receipts are in order for repairs. I won’t take less than," I started but was cut off by Mark, who put his hand on mine that gripped the edge of the counter.

  "We're asking seventy-five hundred. That would give you a tidy profit with a fast turn around," he interjected.

  I clenched my mouth closed and let him haggle.

  It was obvious I was only there to sign over the papers to it. And truth be known, Mark had asked for more than I was going to. I didn't want to ruin this deal by putting my foot in it.

  The man thought for a moment and then finally nodded, shaking Mark's hand.

  "Let me go get the paperwork together and I'll cut you a check. I can't let this one go," he mumbled and disappeared through his door, leaving me alone with Mark.

  "Did I say something wrong?" I asked in a forced whisper, looking up into Mark's tense jaw.

  He scratched at the vinyl cover on the counter, avoiding my eyes.

  "You just have to learn how to speak like an Amish woman in public, Katherine," he explained, and blushed before looking up at me. "Do not misunderstand me. I think you are very brave and strong for what you are doing. But you are very vocal. People are not used to that. At least not here."

  I frowned and looked away from him, feeling myself withdraw as the mechanic returned with paperwork for me to sign. He spoke with Mark while I signed several papers, glancing at me several times until I slipped the title of the car out of my bag. Looking at it for a moment, and at my father's signature there beside mine, I let out a soft breath.

  "You cannot take it with you," Mark said, jarring me out of my brief memories of the first day I had seen my car. I had spent all of high school working to pay for it. And now it was going to something worthwhile.

  "No, I can't," I whispered and handed the mechanic the car’s title.

  "Whom should I make the check out to?" the mechanic asked, leaned over his checkbook.

  My instinct was to tell him my name; it was my car. But Mark's words played in my mind. I was too strong, too brazen for an Amish woman. More and more I was seeing this man's world I was entering into and that scared me.

  But Nathan didn't treat me like that. We were partners.

  "Make it out to Nathan Fisher, please," I replied.

  I had faith.

  My check tucked safely into my bag, we were on our way into town, my thoughts mulling over that interaction with Mark. It was difficult for me to understand why he thought I was so forward, when looking at Hannah and how she spoke around him. She was very vocal about her feelings, except when she was around others outside of the family. I remembered her at Sermon. She was quiet and helpful. She never once scoffed or spoke out that I had seen.

  I had so much to learn.

  Mark pulled up before the general store, where my journey had all started for me seemingly so long ago.

  "I will walk to the mill and see if they have the order ready," Mark said as we climbed out of the buggy. Hannah nodded and offered him a demure smile.

  We were just starting to pull our boxes out when I heard someone behind us.

  "Well look at this. The Berger girls."

  I turned around sharply when I heard Hannah gasp, dropping her box to spill across her shoes and the pavement. On instinct, I stepped in front of Hannah as she shuddered and withdrew further up against the buggy.

  Standing there, grinning like the cat that had the mice cornered, was Jeff.

  "What do you want?" I hissed, staring him down.

  His grin widened and he looked down at the mess at our feet, licking his lips hungrily.

  "Dear Hannah. You dropped your pies. I always liked your pie. Your cherry was especially nice," he purred and I felt Hannah shudder against my back, her hands fisting into the fabric of my dress.

  "You're not wanted here, Jeff," I grated and stood a little taller in front of Hannah. Emma and Abigail stood beside me, helping me to block her from view.

  He chuckled and wiped his mouth with one finger, eyeing me in an amused air.

  "Oh? But I haven't tried a taste of yours yet, K
ate. I bet you have the most flavorful cherry pie," he said and took a step toward me, his eyes roaming over me.

  I didn't waver. I held my ground.

  It didn't matter what Mark said about a docile woman.

  He wasn't here.

  I was.

  "Come on now, Kate," Jeff cooed. "You picked Fisher over my buddy, Sean? I thought Sean had convinced you?"

  Just mentioning Sean had my insides turning. I would never be free of him.

  "He's in jail where he belongs. And aren't you wanted for questioning?" I seethed, trying hard to keep from trembling as he slid a little bit closer.

  He opened his mouth to speak, when another voice interrupted.

  "Leave them alone, Jeff."

  His eyes narrowed as he turned to see Benjamin striding toward us. I let out a relieved breath when he drew close enough to stand between Jeff and the four of us. Jeff stared at him hard, shaking his head.

  "Is this where you've been? Are you seriously considering that backward life, instead of here?" Jeff asked, incredulous.

  "Perhaps. It's none of your business, just like these girls. Leave them alone," Benjamin said, his voice strong and sure.

  Jeff took one slow step back, eyeing me from around Benjamin's stony frame and winked.

  "I'll see you around, Kate," he said and then turned and walked away, as if on an afternoon stroll.

  I felt Hannah's breath on my neck, her hand clenching mine hard when we were alone again. Benjamin’s eyes followed Jeff until he had turned the corner.

  "Thank you," Hannah whispered from behind me.

  "Let me help you clean this up," Benjamin offered when Jeff was gone. "You should get your sister inside and calmed down before her husband returns."

  Emma and Abigail grabbed Hannah around the waist and pulled her inside the general store, leaving me alone with Benjamin.

  "Thank you, Benjamin," I said and squatted down with him to scoop up the remains of the pies back into the collapsed box.

  "He just got back in town today. I saw Joanna in the diner, and then I saw you here with him. I am sorry he accosted you," he murmured, frowning at the mess between us.

  "He wouldn't do anything out here in public. Just rattled us, is all," I rebuffed, although my hammering heart said differently. Jeff was a bully just like Sean, and therefore drew the same fears out of me.

  Benjamin shook his head and looked off toward the general store.

  "You should attend to your sister. The Bishop is watching from the window. He will see your actions as improper," he whispered and pulled the box toward him.

  I grimaced and started to glance up but Benjamin stopped me.

  "We are not used to such forwardness. Do not openly defy my father. It will not end well," he said and stood. I stood with him.

  "Will you come to supper at the Berger's tonight? Nathan was sad to not see you last night," I whispered, watching as he looked down and grimaced.

  "I do not wish to intrude," he started.

  "You are always welcome. Nathan needs a friend, Benjamin. This is going to be a rough time for him," I replied. His head shot up, concern on his face.

  "What do you mean?"

  "We started opening rooms yesterday, Benjamin. He still misses his family terribly."

  "I understand."

  I saw the pain etched in his troubled eyes. He also knew what it was like to lose things.

  "He's alone in that house, Benjamin. It isn't helping him to move forward and he is struggling. But he was smiling and happy when you were there the other night. He needs his friend back," I continued.

  He pursed his lips and I thought maybe I had gone too far.

  "Perhaps I should not put that burden on you," I whispered and turned to leave.

  "Katherine," he said, calling after me. I turned to see him nodding as if to drum up the courage. "I will be there tonight."

  I smiled and stepped into the general store, pretending not to see the Bishop watching me as I made my way back into the bathroom where my sisters were. By the time I got there, she had stopped crying, but her eyes were swollen and her cheeks still flushed.

  "I cannot let Mark see me like this," she was saying, running cold water over her face.

  "You stay in here and get settled. Abigail and I will bring in the baked goods," I volunteered and stepped back out when she and Emma nodded.

  We made quick work of the boxes, bringing them in one by one. The Bishop seemed to have disappeared while I was in the bathroom, and for that I was grateful. I didn't want to have yet another altercation. My mind was buzzing over having confronted Jeff and for arguing over my car.

  So many things.

  And the day was hardly over. It was just noon and I still had the baptism class to endure through late in the afternoon.

  Hannah and Emma came out just as we were finishing; Hannah’s eyes still a little red but much more calmed down. Hannah touched my arm, as if in silent thanks, a tremulous smile on her face. I knew she still must have fears about Jeff. I had to wonder how long my past life would haunt me.

  Would I continue to bring trouble or would I bend to the ways I must learn?

  The happiness I had found was worth the sacrifices I would make; Nathan treated me well and for that I would do what I needed to.

  If I had to be the quiet wife, then I would.

  I'd make whatever changes I needed to.

  We arrived back at the house in the late afternoon, Jonah and Fannie still not home from where they had gone. Hannah had suggested we buy something in town for supper, which was a brilliant plan with so little time to make anything, and with Nathan and me leaving for our class so soon.

  He arrived just as we did, his buggy stopping beside ours in the yard. He smiled and helped us pull everything out, his eyes watching me with concern as I grabbed the flour and grain we had purchased. I winced at the soreness of my muscles, thanking him when he offered to take the heavy grain bag from me.

  I said my goodbyes to Hannah and Emma, Mark busy with unhitching his horse. Nathan helped me into his buggy and we were off to the next stressful part of my day, the Bishop's class. I wondered if he would mention the altercation with Jeff. I wondered if he would make an example of my willfulness.

  "You are very quiet," Nathan said after a moment. "Are you all right?"

  I nodded and frowned.

  I didn't want Nathan to be upset over Jeff, but I didn't want him to hear about it from the Bishop, either.

  "Jeff was in town today," I said quietly.

  "What happened?" he asked, alarmed.

  I shook my head and tried to smile.

  "He didn't get to say much. Hannah was upset. But Benjamin stepped in and made him walk away," I replied.

  Nathan slowed down and stared at me, the worry clear in his knotted brow.

  "Did he threaten you? He didn't touch you, did he?"

  I shook my head.

  "No, he just wanted to scare us. Benjamin was there at the right time," I said and touched Nathan's hand to console him.

  He sped his horse once more, his eyes straying from the road back to mine.

  "So you spoke with Benjamin then?"

  "He'll be at dinner tonight," I said trying to change the subject from Jeff.

  Nathan remained quiet for the rest of the ride, thoughtful as he looked straight ahead. When we reached the Bishop's house he unhitched his horse and tied him off near the pasture. When he turned to me, his smile was sad.

  "I should have gone with you today."

  "You can't be with me every moment, Nathan," I replied and frowned again over how he had worried about us going on our own.

  "But I can keep you safe."

  "I am safe here, Nathan. You do keep me safe," I murmured and tried to smile as we walked toward the house.

  I started up the steps to the door, Nathan behind me. We stepped onto the porch just as the door opened and Naomi smiled, motioning us inside.

  "We can start early! Father is letting Bishop Zachariah Ropp
from Friendship speak with us for a bit while he deals with business. Come!" she said and took my hand to guide me into the room we had been in for the last baptism class.

  Only instead of benches, a table was set up for us to sit at, and a young man, whom I assumed was the Bishop from Friendship, was standing and smiling as we came in.

  "Welcome! Please come and join me! Katherine, Nathan, it is so pleasant to meet you," he said with open arms and sat us down, Naomi sitting beside me while Nathan sat across from us with the new Bishop.

  "Are you helping Bishop Yoder with the classes?" Nathan asked, curious.

  I was curious, too.

  Was this the Bishop's way of avoiding us?

  The young Bishop’s smile grew a little as he cast a quick glance toward Naomi and cleared his throat. It was obvious by looking at how Naomi blushed and beamed at the young Bishop that some feelings existed between the two of them.

  "I was here today for personal reasons, and am happy to help Bishop Yoder. But I think he intends on resuming on Sundays. I may help if he asks again. If it speeds up the process," he said and I couldn't help noticing his brief glance again toward Naomi.

  It seemed we were not the only ones hoping for a wedding before the frost.

  I sat and listened quietly as Zachariah discussed the rules of the Ordnung, driving home some of what I internally struggled with. An Amish family was made up of the husband and the wife, and children.

  The wife was there to be the overseer of the house, to assure it was well kept and in good running order for her husband. A wife was there to serve her husband. A wife followed her husband's decisions without complaint. The husband was head of the household. His word was law. The husband was there to provide for his family. Children were a blessing from God. A large family was a good Amish family.

  Time and again, Nathan would glance my way. I could see his eyes in my periphery. But I didn't dare look at him. The Bishop’s might make Naomi swoon as she sat there and smiled, but I felt nothing of the sort. I had to wonder if perhaps the Bishop and the others had been right.

  I was outspoken, when an Amish wife should be quiet and obliging.

  I was stubborn, where an Amish woman would be gracious.