All The Little Moments

by G. Benson

  “Okay.” Ella kept her eyes down.

  “You all right?”

  She stared at the floor. “Yeah.” There was a quiver in her voice.

  “Come up here, chicken.”

  Ella shook her head, and Anna put her arm out along the couch, inviting her into the Toby cuddle. Slowly, Ella stood and wormed in, pressing tight to Anna’s side and tracing patterns over Toby’s dinosaur pyjamas. He was almost asleep and didn’t notice.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She shrugged.

  “You can talk about anything.”

  “When…” She drew in a shuddering breath. “When Mummy got ready before, I’d help her do her make-up. I helped her that night.”

  Anna swallowed. “Do you miss that?”

  “I miss lots of things.”

  “I know, Ella Bella.” Anna dropped a kiss on her head. “Want to help me with my make-up?”

  Ella thought for a minute. “Next time?”

  “Of course. Tonight you get ice cream?”

  Finally, a smile tugged at Ella’s lips. “Yeah. And a DVD.”

  “Just one, right?”

  Ella’s smile grew a little. “Just one.”

  “I know Beauty and the Beast came in a dual cover with The Little Mermaid, but that’s still two movies.”

  “But—”

  Anna raised her eyebrows.

  Collapsing back against Anna, Ella sighed. “Fine. Can I watch it tomorrow?”

  “When Tobes is having a sleep, how about we make some popcorn and watch it together?”

  “Okay.”

  “And Ella, remember what I said—if you don’t want to be here with Kym tonight, you just have to tell me and instead, I’ll hang out here with you, okay?”

  “I know.”

  She squirmed a little when Anna poked her. “I mean it. Or you just say you want banana for breakfast, and that will be our code.”

  “Okay. I remember.” Ella looked up at her with wide eyes. “So when is Nurse Lane getting here?”

  Anna stood up. “Soon. Kym will be here any minute. I’m going to put Toby down—wait for me, if the doorbell goes.”

  “I know, Aunty Na.”

  “So you should.” Anna poked her tongue out.

  “Night, Toby!”

  Toby waved his hand at his sister, barely raising his head.

  They’d gone to the park before dinner, and he’d not stopped running for over an hour, chasing the ducks and generally causing chaos. The plan to tire him out had apparently worked.

  In the kitchen, she handed him a premade bottle. A sweet “Ta” left his mouth seconds before he shoved the bottle into it.

  “You’re welcome,” Anna replied.

  As they made their way up the stairs, Toby’s eyes were already closing. Anna stood with him next to his cot, patting his back as she rocked him, though she didn’t need to bother on his behalf. Toby was practically asleep. It was more for her to enjoy him when he was this still, his long eyelashes casting shadows on his cheeks. He was so very like Jake, but he had a perfectly straight little nose, the way Sally’s had been.

  The doorbell went, and she pressed a kiss to his head, putting him down gently. His blue blanket was tucked under his arm and Anna pulled his thicker covers over him. “Night, Tobes.”

  She walked down the stairs to see Ella hovering at the front door.

  “Here she is!” Ella practically yelled through the door, presumably in answer to whatever the person on the other side had asked.

  “Ella, inside voice. Toby is asleep.”

  “You said I couldn’t open it.”

  “True, I did.” Anna pulled open the door to find Kym, dressed comfortably in jeans and a hoody—with a bright pink ballerina skirt floating around her legs. Anna stared at her, wide eyed, a smirk working its way over her lips. “Hey, Kym.”

  Kym refused to acknowledge her smirk. “Hey.” She looked Anna up and down, eyes widening. “Nice dress, you’re so going to get lai—”

  Anna pushed the door open wider to remind Kym that Ella was standing there.

  “Lai—uh, lame. Your foot will go lame, if you wear high heels with that dress.”

  Anna pressed her lips together tried not to smirk. The look on Kym’s face showed utter panic. “Kym, this is Ella. Ella, this is Kym.”

  “What’s lame?”

  Kym cleared her throat somewhat lamely herself. “Uh, it means you can’t walk properly. If you hurt your foot.”

  Ella looked up at Anna worriedly. “Don’t get lame.”

  Anna laughed, resting her hand on Ella’s shoulder. “I won’t, Ella Bella.” She looked back at Kym. “Come on in, you’re in for a night of Beauty and the Beast and ice cream.”

  Kym’s eyes lit up. “Beauty and the Beast?”

  Ella eyed her. “Yeah?”

  “That’s my favourite Disney movie!”

  Anna felt relieved as Ella’s eyes widened. “It is?”

  “Yeah! I always wanted to have the library Belle gets.”

  “Me too!”

  Ella grabbed Kym’s hand and dragged her into the living room. Anna heard Ella state approvingly, “I like your skirt. I have one in purple.”

  “I’m just going to finish getting ready!” Anna called through the door as she walked past it to the stairs.

  They both waved a hand at her in acknowledgement, Ella grabbing the DVD box and probably already telling Kym that they could watch two movies tonight.

  Anna made her way upstairs and put the finishing touches on her make-up. One bathroom, an adult, and two kids were not fun. She sighed and threw a yellow duck that had somehow made it onto the hand basin into the tub—where it belonged. At least the bathroom in her former life had always been clean.

  She hesitated as she walked past her brother and Sally’s room. There was a big, clean en suite bathroom in there that she wouldn’t have to share. But it was full of all of their things and too many memories, including the make-up that Sally had been using with Ella the night they’d died.

  With a deep breath, she walked past it, ignoring the decision she would have to make one day. Back in her room, she slipped on a pair of black heels before taking one last look in the mirror. She’d cleaned up all right. Anna adjusted the dress, slightly looser than she remembered from the last time she’d worn it. Stress and grief had apparently led to a little weight loss.

  The doorbell rang again. Anna’s heart beat a bit faster, and she sighed at herself. She grabbed her bag off the bed and went down the stairs. Poking her head into the living room, she saw Ella and Kym sitting in front of the TV on bean bags next to each other, bowls of ice cream already in their laps. Ella had clearly dug out her skirt and the lace puffed up around both of them.

  Shaking her head, Anna pulled open the door.

  Her breath caught in her chest and she almost fell over. Lane pulled off that dress like nothing she’d ever seen before.

  A grin crossed Lane’s face while her eyes flicked down Anna’s body and back up. “Hey.”

  “Hey, yourself. You, ah, you look amazing.” And she did, wrapped in a black dress that clung everywhere it should, hair half swept up one side, tight curls loose at the back and other side, make-up perfect, minimalistic.

  “You, too. You look great.”

  Anna ducked her head. “Thanks.”

  “Nurse Lane!” The yell came from the living room.

  At the shout, Lane looked almost scared. Anna shrugged apologetically. “She’s been excited since she found out you were coming yesterday.”

  Lane chuckled. “Good to know, because I’ve been excited since Thursday.”

  “Want to take Ella out then?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t even want to joke and say yes.” She was still smiling, but there was a look in her eye t
hat made Anna grip the door a bit tighter. “Tonight, I just want you.”

  They stared at each other for a minute before Anna managed to answer. “Good—I don’t want to have to compete with a six-year-old.”

  “Nurse Lane!” The yell was much louder now, showing zero regard for a sleeping sibling.

  “You better come in before she wakes up Toby.”

  Lane stepped through the door, pausing for a minute, her shoulder brushing by Anna’s front. Her eyes darted to Anna’s mouth and back up again before she turned and walked down the hallway, following the yells into the living room.

  Anna blew out a slow breath and shut the door, then followed. She crossed her arms and leant against the doorframe as she saw Ella staring at Lane, who was squatting next to the beanbag.

  “How’s the arm, Ella?”

  The cast-covered appendage waved in the air. “Doesn’t even hurt anymore.”

  “That’s great. Can you wiggle all your fingers?”

  She did, earning her an approving look from Lane.

  “Good. Now, most important—do you still have space for people to draw on?”

  Ella’s eyes widened and she shook her head. “No! It got covered really quick.”

  The cast really was covered in every spot possible with crude six-year-old writing and drawings, all in different colours. Ella had come back after her first day at school with it that way, so happy that everyone had wanted to draw on it.

  “That’s cool. I like the horse one of your friends drew.”

  “That was Aunty Na.”

  A smile playing on her lips, Lane looked up at Anna, who gave them a look that dared them to tease it.

  “Art’s not my strong point.”

  “Clearly.”

  “I like it, Aunty Na.”

  “Thanks, Ella Bella.”

  “Can’t you two stay and watch DVDs with me and Kym?”

  “Aw, I would, but we have a booking. Maybe next time?”

  “Okay.” Ella’s eyes went back to the TV.

  Lane ruffled Ella’s hair and stood, gazing down at Kym, who looked ridiculous with her ice cream bowl laid out on a tiny child’s bean bag with her tutu puffed out around her. “You good there, Kym?”

  Eyes trained on the screen, Kym waved her spoon. “Great. You crazy kids go out.” She finally pulled her eyes away from the TV. “Have fun, and don’t rush home. I’m all good here.” With a comical wink, she looked back at the television.

  “Where did you buy that, Kym?”

  “I’ll have you know I got this from the Queen Vic Markets.”

  “Well, you look beautiful.”

  Without looking away from the TV, Ella chimed in. “Everyone looks beautiful in a fairy skirt, Nurse Lane.”

  Eyes still on the movie, Kym gave a nod. “Truth delivered by a six-year-old.”

  Grinning, Lane waved at them and stepped over to Anna.

  “Thanks again, Kym, bye Ella!” Anna said.

  Both of them just waved their spoons.

  “You have my cell number—if Toby wakes up, he should settle fine with just a back rub. If you get desperate, you can use a pacifier.”

  Kym waved her spoon again, this time more vehemently. “We’ll be fine. Go. Enjoy!”

  A little nervous to leave, even though her niece looked so comfortable, Anna kept a wary eye on them. “Ella?”

  Her niece didn’t look up.

  “Ella Bella?”

  Ella still didn’t look away from the TV. “I don’t want banana, Aunty Na. Sh.”

  Smothering a grin, Anna tiptoed out the room with Lane in tow. Behind them, Kym’s voice was audible as she said, “They interrupted us, Ella—rude. Want to rewind?”

  Anna and Lane were still chuckling when they walked out the door. Anna pulled it shut and then gasped as she was pushed back against it.

  Lane was pressed against her, face inches from her own.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey.”

  Lane gently pressed her lips against Anna’s. Soft fingers stroked Anna’s cheek. Their mouths parted, and fingers grasped at the material of each other’s dresses as Lane’s tongue slid against her own.

  Lane pulled back slowly, forehead resting on Anna’s, a smile on her lips. “I’ve wanted to do that constantly all last week.”

  “A week is a stupidly long time to go without that.”

  “Why did we again?”

  “We were stuck at work and...I actually don’t know why.”

  “Let’s not again.”

  Anna nodded. “Deal.”

  Lane kissed her once more, lingering a second. “Okay. I have a booking for Italian, and if we keep doing this, I’ll happily miss it.”

  “Let’s miss it.”

  “And stay on your doorstep all night?”

  Anna looked around. “True. Dinner it is.”

  At the car, Lane opened the passenger door for Anna with a faux bow, then walked around and entered the driver’s side. She started the car before leaning back against the seat, looking at Anna seriously.

  Uncomfortable under the gaze, Anna shifted. “What?”

  “You just look gorgeous. I really could spend all night kissing you.”

  Anna’s breath caught. She leant back in her seat, head turned and eyes still glued to Lane’s. “Right back at you.”

  “Okay. I’m driving now, or we won’t go anywhere.”

  Enjoying the feeling of being dressed up and out of the house—and being looked at like she was all Lane could see—Anna relaxed back into her seat.

  The drive was quick and filled with easy chatter. Anna couldn’t help but revel in Lane’s company, watching her and snickering as Lane told her about a patient that came into the emergency room with a questionable object in an interesting area.

  They eventually pulled up to a restaurant, and Lane handed her keys to the valet attendant before she took Anna’s hand and led them inside. Anna hummed appreciatively at the intimate atmosphere. Soft candles lit up the room, and classical jazz played over hidden speakers. There was a soft buzz of conversation; almost all of the tables were occupied. The restaurant was in the heart of Melbourne city, and Anna had never been there before.

  They were seated the instant that Lane gave her name for the reservation. Wine was brought over before Anna could even blink.

  “Fast service.” Anna eyed Lane over her wine glass as she took a sip.

  “My father knows the owner; they’re old friends from the States.”

  “You’re from the States? How did I not know this? Where’s your accent?”

  “Oh, God, I moved when I was ten and worked really, really hard to lose it. The accent’s not loved here.”

  “I think it would be cute. So, why such a big move?”

  “My mother’s family is Australian, and she moved to the US after meeting my father when they were both backpacking. Her father passed away, and they decided to move here to be closer to her family, especially my grandmother.”

  “Wow. How was that for you?”

  “I was excited, Australia was very exotic.” Anna made a face and Lane shrugged. “No, really, it is, especially in the US. It was a huge adjustment, though.”

  “I bet. And your parents, or your dad, never wanted to go back?”

  Lane ran her fingertip over the pattern on the tablecloth. “He thought about it. But it just, I don’t know, became home. And now, I would never want to leave, anyway. But it was my mum who wanted to go back the most.”

  “That’s surprising. Do you mind me asking why?”

  Lane shook her head. “Her family never liked that she married a black man, especially because she moved to the other side of the world for him. Her mother could still be difficult at first, but she got over it, and now it’s mostly fine.”

  Anna�
��s eyes were huge. “That must have been really hard for your dad.”

  “He was actually okay about it. My mum got really angry. But that drama’s over, and now everyone is a mostly happy family. Except at Christmas, but that’s normal.”

  “That’s for sure.”

  Lane gave a smile and dropped her eyes back to the menu briefly. “So, what looks good to you?”

  “Everything—what do you recommend?”

  Lane glanced down at the menu. “You should try the linguine. It’s amazing.”

  “Linguine it is.” Decision made, Anna put the menu down. She was excited to eat anything that wasn’t aimed to please small children.

  “So why were you in Brisbane?”

  “It’s not as interesting as your story.”

  Lane looked up.

  “I’d lived there when I was twelve and loved it, and when we moved to Melbourne, I always kind of wanted to go back. When Jake was posted overseas, I really didn’t feel like I had a lot to stay for, so I moved.”

  “It must have been hard having him over there.”

  “It really was. Though, at first, it gave Sally and me an excuse to drink a lot of wine.”

  “Did the two of you ever really need an excuse?”

  Anna gave a soft smile. “That’s what Jake said.”

  The waiter came over and they ordered. They chatted idly about Lane’s family as they waited, Anna asking more questions about Lane’s sisters. The stories made Anna glad that there were only two children in her care, not three. Watching Lane talk so animatedly, Anna found a question bursting out of her mouth before she could stop it.

  “Lane—why on Earth are you still single?”

  Lane looked up sharply from her glass of water, amused. “What?”

  Grimacing, Anna tried to reword her question. “Uh, I mean, how—never mind, I can’t fix that. You’re, you know—funny, understanding, gorgeous. How are you single?”

  She added a charming grin to try and make the question less strange.

  Lane gave an awkward shrug, smiling slightly at the compliments. “I don’t know—I guess I had a bad break up.”