by Botts, Liz
After our strange relay race, Ms. Bard had us all sit on the stage in a big circle. Maggie giggled and asked, “Ms. Bard, are we going to sing Kumbaya?”
“Ooo, that’s a good idea,” Ms. Bard said, suddenly distracted from her original purpose. “But not right now. Now we are going to make collages.”
“Collages?” Several people seemed genuinely confused as Ms. Bard began to distribute paper and scissors and glue sticks and magazines.
“Oh, yes, collages,” Ms. Bard said. “I want each of you to create a collage using different pictures and words to tell the background story of your character, even if your character is small.
Each character has a story to tell. By doing this our show will be richer and deeper, and the audience will be able to feel the difference.”
Luckily, we were all a group of girls who didn’t mind craft projects. I couldn’t imagine the guys in our cast doing this. I started sifting through the magazines that Ms. Bard had dumped in front of me. I tried to think about Kelly from different angles, but I kept coming up short. Finally, I decided to start with the very basics.
What was Kelly’s favorite color? My first instinct was to say something like blue or green. I didn’t find her to be overly girly so pink seemed like an unlikely choice, but blue and green seemed too plain. So I kept flipping through the magazines. Suddenly I came across an ad that had an electric blue border. That was it. That was Kelly’s favorite color. She was from the eighties after all. I carefully clipped the border out and pasted it to the center of my paper.
Good, at least I had a start.
I started to wonder what sort of food Kelly liked to eat when she went out with her friends. I liked fries, but did she? And what sort of place would she and her friends hang out? The first thing that caught my eye in one of the food magazines was a huge plate of super deluxe nachos piled high with cheese and black olives and jalapeño peppers and green onions. She totally struck me as the kind of girl that would have eaten something like that. Something totally unhealthy, yet delicious. She and her friends would have shared it. But where would they have gotten something like that?
What sort of place was a hangout for this group of girls? Then I just knew. Jimmy’s Red Hots or a place just like it. Awesome sauce. I felt like I was totally getting to know Kelly.
So after gluing the plate of loaded nachos to my paper, I wondered if Kelly ever had a pet. It seemed like she was a dog person. When she wanted to de-‐-stress I could see her curling up on her bed with a big dog, like a golden lab or a golden retriever. I found the picture I needed fairly quickly. Apparently, golden retrievers make good advertising dogs.
But what did all of this really tell me about Kelly? What were her hopes and dreams? What was she passionate about? What made her do the things she did and make the choices she made?
And yes, I realized that it would be hard to answer all of those questions with a collage, but I could try. So what did she hope for in life? As cheesy as it sounded, I think Kelly wanted what all of us wanted. Love. I found plenty of loopy hearts that I cut out and arranged around the page. In a moment of inspiration, I found a pair of lips that I used to make it look like the hearts were being blown from the lips. I sat back for a moment to admire my work thus far. It was definitely an incomplete picture of Kelly, but it was taking shape nicely. I knew more about her than I had before at least. I peeked over at Kaylee’s, wondering what she would do since she wasn’t technically in the play, being assistant director and all. Much to my surprise, her page was almost completely covered.
She had huge words splashed across the page like “bold” and
“action”. Somewhere she had found a director’s chair. She clearly had a good handle on her role in this production.
Maggie’s page was relatively blank at first glance. When I looked closer though I saw that all of her pictures and words were all concentrated in the middle of her page. It was an interesting tactic and I wondered if she was going for any kind of specific symbolism. I decided to ask her about it later.
I couldn’t see Claudia’s but I realized that despite all of my reservations about her, I actually wanted to see it. Heck, I wanted to see everyone’s collages.
With a few finishing touches, my collage was finished.
Thankfully, too, because Ms. Bard announced that we were supposed to hurry up so that we could all share our character interpretations.
It was fun to hear how everyone else viewed her character, and in a strange sort of way, I totally saw what Ms. Bard had meant when she’d said that our show would be deeper and fuller.
Characters were starting to make connections with one another, and instead of feeling like a scripted show, it was starting to feel, well, real; like our alter egos lived in a separate plane in time and space.
After we finished with the collage circle, Ms. Bard opened the school’s kitchen to let us bake cookies. She had a plethora of ingredients stacked on the counters. Groups of girls broke off to start mixing up cookies of their own. I was pretty sure most people just ate the dough, though, because we ended up with maybe two dozen cookies.
“For our last activity of the evening, you’re all going to participate in a truth or dare trust circle. Kaylee has been given a stack of school-‐-appropriate cards that contain plenty of fabulous truths or dares. She’s in charge of the activity, as my assistant director, so please listen and defer to her. Everyone must participate, but only as far as you feel comfortable. Even if you just say one word. And above all else, please remember that anything said in the trust circle, stays in the trust circle.”
Kaylee held a stack of elaborately decorated note cards. She looked pretty smug as Ms. Bard ushered us all back up onto the stage. We settled down, but it was ridiculously uncomfortable, and Kaylee made the executive decision that we should all get into our pajamas and do the trust circle in our sleeping bags.
Most of the girls, myself included, had brought modest pajama pants and tank tops to wear to bed. And since it was pretty chilly in the choir room, most of us still had hoodies on. Claudia, on the other hand, had chosen to bring a lace nightie to our sleepover.
A nightie was the only way to describe what she had on.
Nightgown would have implied more material. This piece of lingerie was blue sheer lace. I hadn’t known anyone my age who wore stuff like that until that moment.
When Claudia entered the choir room, everyone got quiet.
Rather than being embarrassed, Claudia preened. She loved the attention. After a little twirl, she settled onto her sleeping bag beside me.
“You should get one of these,” Claudia said quietly to me.
“It would totally look good on you. Drives guys wild. Kyle totally loves it on me.”
My stomach knotted as I thought about that night with Kyle, and I had the feeling again that he and Claudia had to be dating. I pretended to be interested in the zipper on my sleeping bag.
Thankfully, Kaylee started reading the instructions and everyone got into playing the truth or dare game set up by Ms. Bard. After a few rounds of incredibly lame questions like “What was your first pet as a child?” and “Why do you think Ms. Bard is such a fabulous teacher?” we all started to get bored.
Kaylee must have sensed a mutiny because she said, “Do you guys want to ditch the cards and play a real game of truth or dare?” After a chorus of agreement Kaylee continued, “Okay, Jenny, it was your turn. Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Jenny replied. “No, dare. No, truth. Wait, dare.
Definitely dare.”
“Are you sure?” Kaylee laughed. She didn’t seem nearly as irked by Jenny as she normally did, and I couldn’t help but wonder what she had up her sleeve.
“Definitely dare,” Jenny repeated.
“Okay,” Kaylee grinned rather smugly. “I dare you to pick a guy from the musical to call and tell that you are sitting in the bathtub thinking about him.”
Jenny’s face flushed red, and for a second I felt kind of sorr
y for her. I even wondered if Kaylee had gone too far. Finally, Jenny stuck her chin out, and staring straight at me, she said, “I choose Josh.”
There was much shuffling and giggling as Kaylee dug out the list of cast member phone numbers. She recited Josh’s number to Jenny, who squirmed in massive discomfort. Jenny looked like she might puke, so I could only assume she was nervous. While she was waiting, I found myself holding my breath, hoping that Josh wouldn’t answer, and the more times the phone rang, the more that seemed like a reality.
And then…“Hi, Josh.”
My stomach dropped.
“This is Jenny, silly,” she giggled. “I just had to call you. I’m sitting here in my bath all alone thinking of you. Want to come keep me company?”
Josh said something and Jenny flushed red either from frustration or embarrassment. Then she said, “Well, if you change your mind, you’ve got my phone number.”
There were peals of giddy laughter as Jenny looked smugly around the room. My stomach fell further, until I got distracted by my phone vibrating. I flipped it over and grinned. What was that? I tried not to laugh. Careful not to attract any attention, I texted back.
Truth or dare. My fingers actually tingled with excitement from texting Josh. Girl’s sleepover? I knew I shouldn’t keep texting or else someone might notice . It could totally come back to haunt me in this truth or dare game. Still, I couldn’t help myself. You know it.
I was temporarily distracted by the fact that it was Claudia’s turn. She was sitting up completely straight with, like, the best posture I’d ever seen. I swear Claudia really did live for being the center of attention.
“Claudia,” Kaylee said. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Claudia replied with utmost confidence. “Ask me anything.”
Kaylee smiled a smug smile. “How many guys have you slept with?”
Several girls gasped, but Claudia just laughed. “Is that all you’ve got? I’ll only tell you about this year, though.”
Excited smiles flitted around the room.
“Does anyone want to take a guess? Okay, okay. It’s…Kyle!”
The gasps and squeals that filled the room were deafening. I felt sick to my stomach. Without being noticed, due to the chaos Claudia’s announcement caused, I slipped out of the choir room and made my way to the bathroom just in case I puked.
I pressed a cool paper towel to my forehead and neck and felt slightly less nauseated, but almost more sick in my heart. Just as I felt tears prick my eyes again, my phone vibrated. Wish I was there to be with you. I was going to be okay.
Chapter Fourteen
The auditorium was packed with the junior class. I took a seat in the back, mainly because I didn’t care about prom, but also because I had homework to do. My backpack slid nicely under my seat, so I had a little leg room to stretch out as I grabbed my book and slumped down to read. I’d only read a few pages, when I felt someone take the seat next to me. Glancing up, I saw Josh grinning at me. Kaylee dropped into the seat on the other side of me.
“Can you believe that Maggie joined the prom planning committee?” Kaylee asked with disgust, watching Maggie flitting about at the front of the room.
“What’s wrong with prom committee?” Josh asked.
“Don’t ask Kaylee,” I warned.
Kaylee shook her head. “All I’ll say is that those girls who run it are more interested in getting laid after a glamorous night than giving the seniors a memorable last hurrah.”
I rolled my eyes. “Maggie just wants the good gossip. You know that’s why she joined.”
“Whatever,” Kaylee said as the meeting began. “They better not mess with any of the play stuff,” she muttered, “or heads will roll.” I tried to go back to my book, but Josh’s elbow was too close for me to concentrate, so I sat up a little straighter and bent down to shove the book into my backpack. Upon doing so, I bumped into Josh’s knee. I sat up fast and scooted closer to Kaylee. Josh laughed softly, but I didn’t know if he was laughing at me or at the committee in the front.
Our class president, Lexie, was outlining the big prom fundraiser. “It’s going to be totally awesome, but only if we all participate,” she said. “We’re going to host a cheesecake drive in!”
There were excited applause and gasps of joy. Josh leaned over to me. “What’s with this town and cheesecake?” He asked.
I smiled. “People just really like it, I guess.”
“You don’t?” Josh asked.
“Sure, I love cheesecake. Who doesn’t?” I shrugged. “I mean, why not capitalize on what people like?”
“There will be a sign-‐-up sheet coming around,” Lexie continued. “You can sign up to be a carhop or to help bake the cheesecakes. Everyone is required to have ten hours. It counts as your homeroom project for this quarter.”
“Ugh,” Kaylee groaned. “Being forced to work on the prom with them? Cruel and unusual punishment.”
“I know you want to go to prom,” I told her. “So why complain?”
“I want to go to prom, not work on it,” Kaylee emphasized.
“What shifts will you sign up for?” Josh asked
“Um, don’t know,” I replied. “Sunday afternoons, I guess.
No play rehearsals. Plus I always have to work a long shift at Jimmy’s on Saturday.”
“Good point,” Josh nodded. “I’ll do Sunday afternoons too.”
I gave him a surprised glance. “You don’t work on Saturdays, do you?”
“No, but you do,” Josh said. Like that explained anything.
Kaylee snickered in her seat.
Maggie suddenly appeared next to us with a sign-‐-up sheet on a clipboard. “Here, first choice guys,” she grinned.
I grabbed it and found the nearest Sunday afternoon slot and signed up for a three-‐-hour shift. Josh took the clipboard from me and signed his name next to mine. When I saw that he had signed up to serve with me, I giggled.
“What?” He asked, slightly confused.
I giggled. “If you serve you have to wear roller skates. You know, like the carhops did in the fifties.”
Josh winked. “Maybe I’ll impress you with my stellar roller skating skills.”
“This I have to see,” Kaylee laughed, signing up for the same slot as us.
****
Later that night when I booted up my laptop after the world’s tenth longest rehearsal, I automatically logged on to Facebook to check my wall before I started getting ready for bed.
Kaylee had left a dumb message about popcorn and cheese logs.
Ever since she had eaten Grandma’s appetizers at our annual Christmas party, she’d been obsessed with the combination of popcorn and cheese logs. Ew. I refused to eat anything Grandma made.
Claudia had left me another BFF message. Kaylee and Maggie were getting irritated by it. I knew I should respond on her wall, but I just couldn’t bring myself to waste the energy. The moment I thought it, I felt bad because Claudia really did like me.
There was nothing from Josh, which, while it disappointed me, didn’t surprise me. Josh was sort of old-‐-fashioned in his use of technology. I mean, he had a Facebook page but he barely ever bothered updating it.
The last message was from Kyle. It was cryptic enough that people wouldn’t be able to infer anything that happened between us at his house, but it was still blatant and taunting. It read: I think you left something at my house. Want to pick it up this weekend?
Tears pricked my eyes. My leg throbbed. I turned my arm over, pulled my sleeve up, and stared at the angry bruise that was starting to turn purple and green and yellow. Poking it to make little shivers of pain run up my arm, I finally started to cry. Other than crying in Josh’s arms, I hadn’t let myself cry about the entire Kyle situation. And I needed to cry. Seeing Kyle’s comment, I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
The tears rolled down my face. My nose got all runny and drippy. I shoved the computer off my lap, buried my face in my pillow, and sobbed. I
had no idea how long I’d been crying, but eventually I felt a hand stroking my hair. When I looked up, there was Hayley, petting my hair, waiting patiently for me to finish.
Taking a deep breath, I flopped onto my back and swiped at my nose with my sleeve. Hayley grabbed some Kleenex off my nightstand and lay down beside me. We were quiet for a few minutes.
Finally, Hayley said, “Do you know what Mom told me tonight? She said they almost named me Harley, like the bike.
Thank goodness Dad realized that having a Harlow and a Harley would get confusing.”
I burst out laughing, and hiccupped. “Are you serious?”
“Totally,” Hayley grinned. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Sure. I think Harley would have been a terrible name for you. I doubt you’d have been a cheerleader with a name like that,”
I joked, staring up at my ceiling. I loved the way the patterns looked like clouds swirling.
“We don’t have to either,” Hayley assured me. And that’s when it all spilled out. I showed her both my leg and my arm. She wrapped her arms around me and just hung on until I was done.
“I was just so sure he was the one for me,” I said. “And look where it got me.”
“You couldn’t have known that,” Hayley said. “Everyone thinks Kyle is the drama club golden boy. I mean, I always thought he was a little pompous, but I never imagined he’d do something like this.”
“Yeah,” I said. We stared at the ceiling in silence for a while before I continued, “And when he started paying attention to me, I just figured he was finally starting to fall in love with me. Stupid, huh?” “Not stupid,” Hayley insisted. “Very human. Everyone wants to be in love.”
“And there was this day a while ago that Kyle was humiliating this freshman in our drama class, Kevin,” I paused.
“I know Kevin,” Hayley jumped in. “He’s a nice guy. A little intense but nice.”
I nodded. “Yeah, he is nice. But Kyle and Adam were just completely set on humiliating him. I watched the whole thing and did nothing. What’s wrong with me?”