Savage Love

by Jodi Woody

  “Is that how they check for that now days?” he joked.

  “I meant your temperature,” she said clearly embarrassed.

  “Well I am glad you didn’t have a thermometer in your hand. I hate waking up to that!” He continued to add to her embarrassment. “You are turning a lovely shade of red so I will stop teasing. Actually other than being a little tired, I feel pretty good.”

  “I’m glad. You gave us quite the scare last night. Well, Bryce wasn’t too worried, but Seanna and I were. In her words, she ‘freaked’. My daughter isn’t cut out for nursing, that’s for sure. Now how about some of those biscuits you wanted, do you feel up for that?” she asked.

  “At this point I would eat them even if I couldn’t keep them down. They even factored in my fever induced crazy dreams last night,” he answered as he scooted up into his pillows again. As he pulled up the blankets he acted as if he was looking for something.

  “Are you looking for this?” asked Samantha holding up the Bible. This time it was Daffyd’s turn to blush.

  “Um…I just wanted… Bryce forget he left it in here…” he replied lamely.

  “You asked me to read it to you last night, even specifically asked me to read Psalms twenty-three,” said Samantha completely enjoying herself.

  Daffyd got real serious and told her, “My mom used to read that chapter to Gareth and me when we were scared. I used to have pretty nasty dreams when I was a kid and would be afraid to go to bed. She read it to us so many times that we got to where we could say it along with her. I hadn’t heard it for years.”

  “I find comfort in a lot of the scriptures. There seems to be something for every situation,” said Samantha quietly.

  “I wish it still worked,” said Daffyd.

  “Wish what still worked?”She asked.

  “Having a verse take away all the fears like it used to,” he answered.

  “God’s word hasn’t changed, Daffyd…”

  “No, but I sure have. I just can’t buy into all that stuff anymore,” he said sadly.

  “That’s where you have it wrong. We don’t ‘buy into’ anything. We just let go and let God speak to our hearts. When we try to figure it all out, we mess things up. I was trying to figure out all this new information about Richard and it has been driving me literally crazy. I decided to just let it go. He was good to us, and he loved us. That’s all I need to know right now. I am trusting God to help me work out anything that I need to and to just let the rest go.”

  “You make it sound so easy…” he said.

  “It isn’t though. The hardest thing is to get past myself, my bitterness and confusion,” she explained.

  “I decided years ago, that if I needed anything, I would have to get it or do it myself,” he stated.

  “And how is that working out for you?” she asked quietly. Daffyd just looked at her. She got up and purposely left the Bible on the bed and walked out of the room. I can’t argue this with him. You talk to his heart, Lord. Help him to see how much he needs you.

  When Bryce finally woke, he made his way to the kitchen, stomach growling. Seanna was there with his laptop on the kitchen table. He had let her use it the day before. She was totally engrossed in what she was looking at and didn’t hear him come in. He quietly stepped up behind her to see what could be so interesting. She had a picture up of his Uncle Daffyd. It was an older picture from his early years. He was on a stage, holding a guitar, long hair wet with and flying around his head, his body sweaty, and he had on the tightest possible shiny pants you could find. Seanna had her face all screwed up and he heard her whisper ‘gross’.

  “Pretty nasty huh?” he said, making her jump in her seat.

  “You almost made me pee my pants! What are you doing sneaking around?” she exclaimed.

  “I was hungry, and I’m not the one sneaking. What would you have done if I would have been your Mom, or Uncle Daffyd?” he asked.

  “I am just curious, that’s all. It’s all so weird. He just doesn’t seem the type. I was just bored and decided to google him again. There are a couple of biscuits left, and I fried some bacon and left it in the oven,” she said.

  “Thanks, I am starved. I think I’ll fry an egg to go with,” he said, heading to the fridge.

  “You and your eggs,” she laughed. “Hey, I should be able to find some videos on here shouldn’t I?”

  “Tons, but if you wait until I eat, we should go somewhere else, if you don’t want your Mom finding out,” he offered.

  “Your room is too close to his, mine’s too close to Mom’s. Will we get a signal on the patio?” she asked.

  “Yeah, Daffyd made sure that we get it anywhere close to the house.”

  “Fry that egg, Boy, you can eat it on the patio!” said Seanna.

  Samantha left Daffyd and went to her room to pray. After pouring out her heart to God she felt better about her conversation with Daffyd. She looked at the clock and saw that the morning was about gone. Peeping into Seanna’s room and finding it empty, she headed downstairs. Walking through the open downstairs, she could see the two kids out on the patio. They had their backs to the house and were looking at Bryce’s laptop screen. As she opened the glass doors leading out to the patio, she could hear some loud music coming from the computer. She stood quietly behind them and saw a sweaty young man prancing around a stage, whipping his long blonde hair around as he sang. She stood there for a few minutes until she had enough.

  “What in the world are you listening to, Seanna,” she asked. Seanna and Bryce both cringed. How had they not noticed the door? They both just sat there not knowing how to answer.

  “They are listening to me…” said a voice behind them. All three of them spun around and saw Daffyd standing in the door. Seanna shut the laptop and gave Bryce a quick glance. He just looked his uncle in the eye with a determined look on his face. Daffyd took a seat at the table across from Seanna and Bryce.

  “Please, Samantha, sit down with us. There is something I need to explain,” Daffyd said wearily.

  “You don’t look so good, Daffyd, we can wait until you are feeling better, “offered Seanna.

  “No, it’s something I have to do. I was coming to find your mother to explain it all anyway, and you have just presented an opportunity. I would like the two of you to stay as well, even though you already know the whole story, Bryce,” said Daffyd.

  “Go ahead…” said Samantha.

  “What you just witnessed on that computer was me. I am known to most of the world as ‘James Savage’ or just plain ‘Savage.’ Until recently I wrote and recorded that kind of music. You wanted to know how I got my money…well…now you know,” he explained.

  “You’re kidding…right?” asked Samantha, confused.

  “No, I am not. I started singing in my teens and had my first number one single at the age of twenty-three. I lived the life of a rock star, touring, recording and concerts, until about three years ago when I started having panic attacks and couldn’t go on stage anymore. I was just getting back into the recording studio when I met my new friend ‘Mr. Hodgkin’s’.”

  Samantha just sat there. She couldn’t take in what he had just said. She looked at Bryce and Seanna. Bryce was still watching his uncle and Seanna nodded her head slowly. How can this be! Can this man that I’ve spent the last few days with be that man on the screen?

  “Do you have anything to say…any questions?” asked Daffyd.

  “Exactly what kind of music did you write? What is a ‘life of a rock star”? Were you drinking and doing drugs and all that…” she spoke every question, that was streaming going through her head, at once.

  “Most of the music I recorded and performed was what I thought my audience wanted to hear, what would sell records. They were what are considered your run of the mill rock song, you know ‘sex, drugs and rock and roll’. But no, I did not do drugs, and I gave up all alcohol before I recorded my first album.”

  “So…you sang about that lifestyle, but didn’
t participate in it…is that what you are saying?” Samantha was still very confused.

  “What he is saying, is that he pretended to live that life, he allowed others to think he did drugs and was the wild rock star,” said Bryce’s level voice.

  “The important thing is that I didn’t do the things I sang about,” Daffyd defended himself.

  “No, the important thing is that you contributed to the ruin of a generation of young people who idolized and worshipped you,” countered Bryce.

  “Wait Bryce,” cut in Seanna, “Why didn’t you do the things you sang about?”

  “I just didn’t see how it would benefit my life,” he answered.

  “But, by glorifying the lifestyle, you benefitted your life right? You did it to sell records and concert tickets, so you made money off of something that wouldn’t benefit them!” Samantha was beginning to understand what Daffyd was saying.

  “Yes, I did.”

  “And that doesn’t bother you?” she exclaimed.

  “I can’t undo what has already been done,” Daffyd answered.

  “And once again, we are back to square one. Uncle Daffyd doesn’t really think he has done anything wrong. There are plenty of other bad examples out there, one less wouldn’t have mattered. Right?” said Bryce.

  “You will be held accountable for what you do, not the others,” said Samantha.

  “That’s what you believe, I happen to believe differently,” Daffyd stubbornly held on to his view.

  “Not believing it won’t happen doesn’t change the truth. You probably never believed you’d get cancer, but you did,” stated Samantha.

  “Are you going to return to your career when you get better?” asked Seanna trying to take some of the heat off of Daffyd.

  “I had already written some new stuff that reflected who I really am. I had only started recording when I got sick. I am not sure if I will ever get it finished. I know I would be more comfortable with the new material, but I am not sure if it would sell,” he answered honestly.

  “So…if you never recorded another song, would you be able to live off of the money you already made?” asked Seanna.

  “I would never have to work another day in my life, but…I love music. It’s what I enjoy more than anything else. I love writing it, singing it and playing it. If I thought I would never do it again, I wouldn’t have anything to live for,” he continued honestly.

  “You have me, grandma and grandpa…wouldn’t we be enough?” asked Bryce with pain in his voice.

  “Bryce, we’ve been over this…so many times…I love you all, you know I do. I would like to say that it would be enough, but it wouldn’t.”

  “You’re right, we have been over this. I love you Uncle Daffyd, and I can’t change you. The only thing that will make your life better is God, and you’ve given up on Him long ago. I’ll let you finish this conversation without me. I’ve already heard all of your excuses. We will continue to disagree.” Bryce left the patio and went back into the house.

  “I think that I have heard all I need to as well. I am not judging you Daffyd. I think you are a good man, and that your past is in the past. It’s what you do in the future that will matter,” said Seanna. “I think I’ll go check on Bryce.”

  Samantha and Daffyd sat silently for awhile. Samantha was praying and Daffyd was pondering what Seanna had just said.

  “You should have told us up front,” said Samantha finally breaking the silence.

  “I have had some bad experiences with people knowing who I am. That’s why we moved out here, away from it all,” he explained.

  “Ok, that makes sense. You didn’t know us and we could have been crazy fans. But once you knew us, why didn’t you say something?” she asked

  “Because, once I knew you, I knew you wouldn’t stay,” he replied quietly. “I suppose I’ll need to call Trish and Leal and ask them to come home early.”

  “No, Daffyd, what you just told me doesn’t change what’s happening right now. They deserve their vacation, and unless you’re going to start singing that kind of junk around the house,” she pointed at the offending computer, “then I can finish out what I agreed to. Just one more question,” she said. “How did you ever get Trisha to work for you, you know being what you represented and what she believes.”

  “Trish worked for me before she got religious. Then she decided it was her job to save me.”

  They sat again for awhile both looking off at the mountains. Finally Daffyd stood up and shakily made his way to the door. Samantha could see that he was not feeling well and stood and took his arm. Daffyd just gave her an apologetic smile and allowed her to help.

  “I think this has all been too much excitement for me. I don’t want to ask Bryce to help right now, but I think I need to go back to bed…”

  “I can help you Daffyd. That’s what I am here for.” Samantha knew in her heart that that was the truth. Somehow, she was supposed to help Daffyd find his way back.

  Chapter 13

  A New Day

  The next day Samantha went through her morning duties as usual, but refrained from saying anything personal to Daffyd. There was no joking and teasing, no easy conversations, just simple questions and simple answers. Daffyd stayed in his room the whole day, eating little and sleeping most of the day. At dinner Samantha voiced her concern over Daffyd’s health, worried that his lack of food and fluids might be making his condition worse. Bryce hadn’t been in to see his Uncle that day at all. He didn’t want to say anything he’d regret. The whole thing with Seanna and Samantha yesterday had stirred up some old hard feelings.

  “I’ll go and check on him. I never can stay mad at him anyway. We may disagree about life, but we still love each other. And he has been good to me. Has he seemed feverish at all?” asked Bryce.

  “No, when I went to get his lunch tray, he hadn’t touched his soup or tea. He was sleeping so I felt his head and he felt cool. But unless he has been getting something to drink out of the bathroom, he hasn’t had any fluids since the small glass of apple juice this morning. When I asked him how he was feeling last time I checked on him, he said he was tired,” she answered.

  “He did look pretty tired yesterday, and after being so sick before, maybe he is just catching up on some rest,” suggested Seanna.

  “I’ll grab a few bottles of water and head up right now,” said Bryce. Soon he was back down sliding right in to help do the dishes.

  “So…?” asked Samantha.

  “He was awake and to answer your question about the drinking, he used the bathroom sink, not wanting to bother anyone. There was no sign of a fever and he was reading the books I got him for his birthday,” he filled them all in. “He just said he was really tired. I think maybe he’s been pushing himself a little too hard, it is something he tends to do, sick or well.”

  “Did he say if he wanted anything to eat?” asked Samantha.

  “His stomach is not so hot, so I just told him to keep drinking and to buzz us if he gets hungry,” said Bryce.

  “So what’s the big plan for tonight?” asked Seanna.

  “I think I would like to follow Daffyd’s lead and lay in bed with a good book. He loaned me the Hobbit,” said Samantha.

  “Ok, so what about you, Bryce, do you have some book calling your name?” Seanna asked.

  “Actually I was thinking of hanging in the pool for awhile. You feel like joining me?” he asked.

  “Fresh air and water…better than a book any day,” she laughed.

  “Pop in and say goodnight before you go to bed, Seanna. And you two behave yourselves,” said Samantha. “I’ll take the pager in case Daffyd needs anything.”

  Bryce popped Seanna with the towel he was drying with and said, “Beat you to the pool!” Samantha stopped Seanna before she could run after him.

  “I don’t have to worry about you two…do I?” she asked her daughter.

  “Oh please, he’s not even my type. We are just having fun, Mom. He’s the perfect gentlema
n, and I think he has the hots for this girl at school he’s always talking about. So no worries. Now, he’s gonna rub it in that I am last in the pool,” she said shaking her head.

  Samantha let her go, and let go of her worries. She heard the hobbits and elves calling her name, so she grabbed some water and headed off to her room. As she went up the stairs she passed Bryce flying down with a big smile. She just shook her head and smiled. The energy of those two! Seanna had thoroughly enjoyed having a pool close at hand. She’d always loved the water, and had never been big on reading for fun. Seanna read the papers, her school books and the ingredients of food containers, and that was the extent of her reading. Her idea of fun usually included the outdoors. Samantha on the other hand loved more quiet activities like reading, writing, old movies and art. Soon she was engrossed in the timeless story that she was reading and forgot about everything else.

  In the pool Bryce and Seanna played a rowdy game of water volley ball. Soon they were hanging on the edge of the pool taking a breather. They were talking about Daffyd and Samantha and how they thought it would all turn out.

  “I think my mom kind of likes your uncle,” said Seanna.

  “You mean she likes his personality…?” he asked.

  “Well, that too, but I think she might really like him, you know romantically…”

  “No way, your dad’s only been gone a while and even after what you told me about your Dad, I still think it would be too soon. Besides…Uncle Daffyd has issues,” answered Bryce.

  “I told you that things were kind of weird between my mom and dad. I don’t think they ever loved each other that way. I know they loved each other, but there are different kinds of love, and well, they never loved each other,” she tried to explain.

  “What makes you think she is interested?” he asked.

  “She talks about him a lot and she prays for him every day…I don’t know, I just do.”

  “Don’t you think that it’s because he is sick? Maybe she just feels sorry for him,” he suggested.

  “I don’t think that is all, she was pretty upset yesterday and I don’t think it was just some self-righteous thing of my mom’s. I think that she had been thinking pretty highly of him and…well…her bubble has burst,” she answered.