Savage Love

by Jodi Woody

  “I don’t think your mom could be seriously interested in anyone who wasn’t saved,” countered Bryce.

  “Wasn’t your Uncle saved at one time? He could come back to the Lord couldn’t he? Maybe she is expecting to help him find his faith again. She told me that she had lost faith when she was pregnant with me, and my dad helped her find her way again…or maybe that’s all she’s trying to do for him, and that’s what all the prayers are for,” said Seanna.

  “Either way, I’m ok with it. Your mom’s cool and Daffyd does need to find his way back. So whatever happens, it’s going to be good right? But if he doesn’t turn his life around it would just be a big mess for both of them.”

  “Yep, you’re right. I’m gonna believe that God will work it all out. I really like your Uncle and if they hooked up, we’d be related! That would be cool. I always wanted a brother or sister and you said you did too. We’d get to see each other all the time. Because once we leave here, that will be the end won’t it?” she mused.

  “It wouldn’t have to be. But truthfully…yeah, we probably would just be email friends…otherwise if my uncle and you’re mom hooked up, we’d see each other every break from school,” he said.

  “I probably wouldn’t be so worried about mom while I was away at college either. I hate to leave her this fall after all that’s happened. And the money is going to be really tight for her. It’s taking a big bite out of her small paycheck just to help me with tuition and books,” she said.

  “How about we pray for both of those issues, your school tuition and your mom and Uncle Daffyd’s future?” he suggested.

  “Sure.”

  They headed to the shallow end of the pool, where their feet could touch. Bryce grabbed both of Seanna’s hands and they bowed their heads. In simple terms, with loads of faith, the two young hearts brought their concerns and desires before God.

  Samantha had been reading for hours. She looked at the clock and it was almost ten. Deciding to go and see if the kids were still in the pool, she headed downstairs. Finding the pool empty, she tried the kitchen and movie room. Both were empty, so she figured they had called it a night. Peeking into Seanna’s room proved her right. Her daughter was sound asleep, hair still wet on the pillow. Content that all was well, she thought she should peek in on Daffyd as well.

  When she listened at his door, all was quiet. So she silently cracked the door. The room and the bed were empty. Crossing to the bathroom, worried that maybe he had fallen or something she found it empty as well. She quickly headed to the rail overlooking the living area below. There was a dim light coming from the kitchen so she headed down to check. She found Daffyd, with his head in the fridge, rummaging.

  “I guess your stomach has settled,” said Samantha. He stepped back from the fridge and sheepishly held up the cheese and mayo. “Sit down I’ll make you a sandwich,” she said reaching for the ingredients in his hands.

  “Thanks, I thought you were all asleep. I fell asleep reading again, and woke up starving,” said Daffyd.

  “I must have just missed you. I came down looking for the kids. I was reading and lost track of time. They must have worn their selves out in the pool and went to bed early,” said Samantha.

  “I am glad they are having fun,” he said.

  “Me too,” said Samantha as she handed him a cheese sandwich. She sat down at the bar with him with a sandwich of her own. He gave her a look eyeing her plate.

  “What? It sounded good,” she said.

  “I didn’t say a word,” said Daffyd, glad that she was teasing again. They ate in silence, enjoying the late snack. Then Samantha put the dishes in the sink and rinsed them off until morning.

  “Can I offer an arm for the trip back?” she asked.

  “I guess I didn’t think about the return trip, that’s always the hardest. Several times I wished I had put in an elevator.”

  Samantha helped him up the stairs and walked with him to his room. She helped him to the bed and automatically reached forward to feel his head. He took her hand and held it for a minute. They stayed that way for a bit looking into each other’s eyes. Then Daffyd smiled and let go of her hand.

  “Good night Samantha, and thank you,” he said softly.

  “Good night Daffyd,” she answered as she turned to leave.

  After she left, Daffyd lay there for a long time, unable to go to sleep. He had slept so much the past few days that he had gotten his days and nights mixed up. Familiar with the pattern, he picked up his book to read. After a couple of pages, he realized he wasn’t paying attention. His mind was wondering. How different would my life be if I had followed another path. What if I had been like Gareth and been able to live the life that contained faith and hope? Things wouldn’t be so weird with Samantha if I hadn’t taken the low road.

  Daffyd hated to admit, even to himself, that his career was not what he had hoped for in the beginning. He had just allowed himself to be swept away with all the fame and glory, never really objecting to the course that others encouraged him to take. If I just would have been stronger. Gareth was always the stable one. I could have told them that I wanted to keep my music real. It was never my intention to write about such worthless things, let alone sing about it all over the world. Maybe Seanna is right. If I could do things differently in the future, maybe all the bad decisions of the past can be erased. Will anyone ever see me as anything other than THE SAVAGE? Daffyd allowed his imagination to go. Dreaming of a different life…

  Samantha too had trouble going to sleep that night. She refused to pick up her book again, and instead paced her room praying. How can I help him, Lord? I can’t even get past his past! Show me how much you love him, and help me to see him the way you do. If our being here was not an accident, then you have a purpose for Seanna and I to be here in this house. Holy Spirit, lead us and help us to overcome our own thinking. Father, I pray that you are speaking to Daffyd’s heart, Holy Spirit, lead him back to the Father. Continuing in this fashion, Samantha prayed for hours. She prayed for Seanna, herself, Richard’s mother, her parents, Bryce and finished up with Trisha and Leal. Finally, her heart at peace, she crawled into bed and slept.

  Chapter 14

  Unexpected Blessings

  When Samantha brought a tray up for Daffyd in the morning, she found him sleepy eyed and on the phone. She set the tray next to the bed and intended to go back to the kitchen to figure out something for lunch that day. There was getting to be slim pickings. Obviously Trisha usually did the shopping. Daffyd held up a finger asking her to wait. She sat in the chair next to the bed and waited for him to finish his conversation.

  “…No, don’t worry about it. We are fine, I am sure that we can work it all out. Just tell Leal not to worry and to go and see his grandmother…sure thing…ok, just call and let me know…bye.” He put down his cell and leaned back in the bed. Finally he looked at Samantha and told her that it had been Trisha on the phone.

  “Leal’s grandmother is sick. He is really close to her and hasn’t seen her for a couple of years. His mom called and let them know that she is in the hospital and asked if they could come and see her. I couldn’t say no. Now before you get all worked up, I am fine here with Bryce. This isn’t your problem and you won’t have to stay any longer than the two more days we agreed on,” he explained.

  “Daffyd, I am not in a hurry to leave…and of course, they should go see Leal’s grandmother. We can stay as long as you need us…”

  “I thought after yesterday that you would be ready to run…” he said, picking at a thread on his comforter.

  “Yesterday was an eye opener, but it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve treated us well. Now that I know a real live Rock Star, I guess that maybe I’ve been judgmental about the whole subculture. I may not like your choice of lyrics or what they represent, but I do like you Daffyd. I think that you are not what you sang. Plus the revelation of your career can’t change the fact that you need more help than just Bryce can give you. Unless you wa
nt Trisha to come home and find that you’ve let the place go to wreck and ruin.” Samantha lifted her eyebrows, knowing that would get his attention.

  “No, I do not want that…thanks Samantha…for everything. I hope that we can all just make this work until Trisha and Leal get back,” he said.

  “We can do better than that I think. We can continue to get to know each other and enjoy the company while we have the chance,” she countered. “Deal?”

  “I like that idea better, so…deal!” he said.

  “Well, now that that is settled, I think that someone will need to make a trip to town for some groceries. Though Trisha keeps a well stocked kitchen, I am afraid my culinary skills do not match her own and I have used up the ingredients that I do know how to use,” said Samantha.

  “Then you go ahead. Why don’t you take Seanna and you two could pick up your car while you are there. Bryce can babysit me now that we kissed and made up. There are a few things I need his advice on anyway. We can get it done while you two are gone. If there is anything left for sandwiches, we can fend for ourselves for lunch. Ever since that cheese sandwich last night, I have been craving another,” suggested Daffyd.

  “Yep, there is half a loaf of bread, some cheese and you may be able to scrape out a little mayo, we pretty much used the last of it last night. But if your stomach can handle it, Trisha has some kind of creamy brown mustard in there that is pretty good,” she answered.

  “You can take the VW. The keys should be hanging by the garage door. Trisha has an account at the only grocery store in town. There is some petty cash in a bank bag in the desk drawer in the kitchen as well. Lunch will be my treat.”

  “Is there anything you need? Toilet paper, shampoo or maybe ice cream…?” she asked.

  “Now you’re just being mean. I am good on TP, I don’t use shampoo and there is enough sherbet in the freezer for a kindergarten class. I would like some orange juice and even though it is summer, I have been dreaming of cream of wheat for breakfast. I think I can drop the tea and toast for a while. Oh, and maybe one other thing. Do you know how to make a pot roast?” he asked.

  “That I can handle,” she answered.

  “Buy what you need for that. My mom used to make that every Sunday and we came home from Church to the house smelling of meat and potatoes. She used to put carrots in with hers too, maybe we can have that after you guys get home from Church tomorrow?” asked Daffyd.

  “Sure, but unless you will be joining us for Church, I’ll be staying home and letting the kids go,” she replied.

  “I think I will be ok for a couple of hours,” he said.

  “Trisha already told me that unless you are up and about, that one of them stays home with you,” Samantha insisted.

  “She’s a worry wart,” said Daffyd. “And today I am feeling pretty good, other than sleeping all day and staying awake most of the night.”

  “Well take a nap, and try to stay up today. Then maybe you’ll feel like going to Church,” she said.

  “If you promise to make pot roast for dinner, and I am feeling as well tomorrow as I am this morning…I will consider it,” his words surprised even himself.

  “Oh, you are getting your pot roast, and I will pray that tomorrow you will be walking in divine health!” she said with a smile, heading out the door.

  “Go and get us some food, woman. I need a nap.” Daffyd yelled after her as she left. “Oh, and tell Bryce to wake me up in an hour.”

  Samantha let the others know what was going on with Leal’s grandmother. Then they made a shopping list of the things that they needed. Seanna was helpful, reminding her mom to check on laundry and cleaning supplies as well as paper goods. After her joke with Daffyd about toilet paper, she would have been embarrassed to run out. She had added the special request items, but didn’t mention her deal with Daffyd about Church, not wanting to get her hopes up. Daffyd had left himself a pretty good ‘out’ all he’d have to do is say he was too tired or not feeling well. Who would question that with all that he’d been going through?

  They had just finished up their shopping and had stowed all the cold items in the ice chest that Bryce had suggested they bring along. Samantha was a bit worried about how much she had spent on everything, but the girl at the counter didn’t bat an eye. So she figured she was safe. Now they were sitting in a little ‘mom and pop’ restaurant sharing each others lunches.

  “Who am I going to share lunch with when you go to college? I’m getting so used to us each ordering something and then eating off of each other’s plates. I’ll have to go back to boring old one choice lunch,” she joked.

  “Maybe you won’t have to eat alone, you might make a new friend,” suggested Seanna.

  “Not unless we get some new people at Church. My whole life revolves around there, teaching and attending, plus volunteering…I don’t think I’ll get an opportunity to meet any new women,” said Samantha.

  “Well…maybe you will make a new friend who isn’t a woman…”

  “Oh please!” said Samantha turning her daughter’s own words on her.

  “What? You’re young, still pretty hot, and any man would be happy to have you,” said Seanna with a smile.

  “True…I am pretty hot,” she laughed, “but seriously, Seanna, I just don’t see that happening. Besides, your Dad and I were married for a long time, I don’t think I am ready to just jump back into that again.”

  “Mom, can I ask you something, about you and Dad?”

  “Sure, honey, you can ask me anything.”

  “Were you in love with Dad?” asked Seanna.

  “Of course I loved your Dad,” Samantha stated, “why would you ask that?”

  “I know you loved him, Mom, I mean were you ever in love with him. You know, the racing heart, sweaty hands, can’t wait another minute to see him, kind of love.”

  Samantha waited to gather her thoughts before she answered. She took a bunch of fries and methodically dipped them in the ketchup, chewed slowly and swallowed before she answered.

  “Seanna, your Dad and I had a different kind of relationship. We loved each other very much, but to be honest, no, we never had that kind of love. It wasn’t anybody’s fault; we just weren’t looking for that kind of love. We were happy and content to have a mutual companionship, and our joined faith. We cared about each other very deeply, but there weren’t any of the things you talked about in our relationship,” she finally answered.

  “Don’t you feel like you missed out on something? I mean, didn’t you ever wish that you had had those things?”

  “Maybe a little, but remember, I thought I had felt those things for your birth dad, and look how that turned out. Passion and butterflies couldn’t last, the first hare thing that came along destroyed it. The love your Dad and I had was the lasting kind,” Samantha explained.

  “I think you can have both! I think that it might start as butterflies but if that person is the right person for you, if God is in the choosing, it will turn into that comfortable lasting kind. But who wants to be married for twenty years to someone you aren’t passionate about?” said Seanna.

  “You may be right. I certainly am not an expert on relationships,” Samantha admitted.

  “Bryce said that his mom and dad, until the day they died, were like that. I had a few friends in school whose parents seemed to be in love, even after kids and everything,” she said.

  “Why are you suddenly interested in all of this? I thought you said that you thought of Bryce as a brother,” said Samantha getting worried again.

  “I do, I was thinking of you…I would love for you to be happy Mom. Maybe I am just a little worried about leaving you and running off to college. I’d feel better if you had someone…you know…”

  “Well that certainly isn’t going to happen before fall. My word, child, trying to marry your poor mother off in a few months! And I don’t even know any single men,” she laughed.

  “How about Daffyd? He’s single?” Seanna asked, looking at
her plate.

  “Are you serious? Seanna, Daffyd is nice and everything, but he is in the battle of his life, and I don’t just mean the cancer. He isn’t ready for a relationship any more than I am.”

  “What if he got that all straightened out? Would you ever consider someone like Daffyd?” asked her daughter.

  “You mean an aging egotistical rock star, who made his money from glorifying a sinful lifestyle?” countered Samantha.

  “No, first of all he’s only thirty, I asked Bryce. He just had his birthday. Secondly, I mean someone who is kind and generous. He donated the money to build that park in town. He has also given tons of money to the hospital where he gets treatment. And he insists that nobody knows that the money comes from him. Does that sound egotistical to you? Not to mention, that despite his choice of material, he is at least passionate about something. I loved Dad, but what was he ever passionate about, even the store, where he practically lived could hardly be called a passion.”

  “Daffyd is only twenty nine! He’s barely older than Bryce. I thought he was closer to my age, or even older. So how long ago was his career?” exclaimed Samantha.

  “Actually I think he was going pretty strong until about three or four years ago. And you talk like you’re old. That’s only an eight year difference. What does age matter anyway? Dad was twice your age.”

  “Look Seanna, I just don’t want to talk about this. Daffyd is a good man, and I do think that God is working in his life, but I am not looking for a relationship. Ok?”

  “…ok…whatever... But will you promise to have an open mind, and allow God to work it out in your life too?” asked Seanna.

  “Yes, I will let God lead. Now, we better get these groceries home, or all our frozen food will be thawed, ice chest or no ice chest,” Samantha gathered up her purse and the bill and ended the conversation.