Cyborg Heart

by Anna Lewis

  A hot pool of pleasure started to build in her lower regions, and she gripped the sheets tightly beneath her, needing something to hold on to as she forgot about everything else. No longer could she consider her feelings, or the fact that she was not being faithful to B, or that they were on enemy sides, or different species. None of that mattered. Desire was pulsating wildly through her whole body, from head to toes, sending her crazy. The pressure was building, increasingly intensely, and she was really losing herself within that.

  She’d never had an experience quite like it, and she it to keep going forever.

  Then, just as everything was about to come to a head, Wade turned her over, and entered her sopping, hungry sex from behind. Shocked by the sudden change and the depth with which he entered her, Talia went to a height of ecstasy she did not think was possible.

  They came together. Waves of torturous pleasure shattered through her body, leaving her shuddering and buckling beneath Wade, scrunching tightly onto the pillow with her fingers. In that moment, all she wanted was him, and she didn’t think anything would be able to change that. Everything else simply melted away, everything that she’d been through before that moment. All she could think about was Wade and the incredible way that he was making her feeling. She was certain in that moment that he was the only one for her, and that she was head over heels in love with him. On top of that, she became increasingly convinced that he loved her too. She felt like fate had brought them together and that they were meant to be.

  He helped her turn her over on the bed, and allowed her to snuggle into his arm. Her head fit there perfectly. She was totally content and did not want to move, only listen to Wade’s breathing and heartbeat. She didn’t feel like anything would be able to tear them apart now, no matter what happened.

  ***

  “What the fuck is this?”

  As B’s shocked and hurt voice crashed through her hearing like a brick through glass, Talia’s bliss subsided quickly, and a cold shame washed over her.

  He was standing there, at the bedroom door, falling apart in front of her eyes. She felt sad, ashamed, and absolutely sick with guilt, and the more hurt his expression got, the worse that feeling became.

  How could she have done this? What the hell had she been thinking? She’d acted selfishly, becoming so wrapped up in Wade that she had allowed everything else to subside, and now she felt horrible for that. Looking at B, she couldn’t believe that she’d even slightly allowed herself to forget about him… what the hell was her problem? They’d been through such a tender goodbye only a short time before, and then she’d turned around and screwed Wade. She’d always considered herself a good person before this, but now she felt like she was the worst person on Earth.

  “Oh God,” she gasped, trying to wrap the covers around herself, trying to maintain at least a little bit of her dignity. “I’m sorry B, I don’t know what…”

  “Don’t try to give me the whole ‘you don’t know what you were thinking’ spiel… you’ve been thinking about Wade in that way ever since he came here!”

  She froze, remembering the mind reading abilities that the Ec’dua had, and a blush covered her body. All of her thoughts, her secret fantasies, both of these guys could read them all. How embarrassing! She wanted a hole to open up in the ground and swallow her up. She’d been imagining all kinds of things, blissfully unaware, and they had known it all the entire time.

  “I… I…” she stammered, wishing that she could find the words to make it all right. How the hell had she managed to get herself into such a mess? Things were so much easier when she only had the war to focus on, and she just had herself to worry about! Damn that gang who caught her and locked her up! If only she’d managed to stay free, then none of this mess would have ever happened.

  “There’s no excuse,” B snapped, sounding incredibly hurt. “I don’t even know what to say.”

  Then he stormed from the bedroom to spend some time in the front room, alone with his intense, sad thoughts. He’d never been so shocked, so hurt, and he had no idea how to begin processing those emotions. How could Talia do this to him? He knew that Wade didn’t exactly see things in the way that he did, so he couldn’t exactly blame him when he didn’t think that he’d done anything wrong. It was Talia he blamed. A rage towards her filled his thoughts.

  Maybe he should have stayed away from Talia in the first place. Maybe there was a reason that they were supposed to keep away from humans. Maybe he should have listened rather than being so damn naïve…

  “What should we do?” Talia pleaded with Wade, tears forming like dewdrops in her eyes. She really hadn't wanted to hurt B, but she’d gotten too caught up in the moment to even think. Now she was suffering the consequences of that, and she couldn’t have hated herself more.

  “He’ll be okay,” said Wade. He didn’t look as worried as she felt, but he felt less guilty than she did. From his point of view, Talia and B were not officially a couple, and B was overreacting. But from Talia’s point of view, she had cheated on B. Wade said, “You just need to give him time. He will come around, and everything will be fine in the end. You’ll see.”

  Wade pulled her in for a hug, trying to comfort her, but his touch no longer made her feel safe and loved, it made her sad and ashamed of what she’d done. She couldn’t believe that she had ever acted in such a way. And now she didn’t know how to solve it. That was the worst thing at all, that she had no idea how to make it all right again. Wade had said to give B time, but how? How could she possibly ignore him at a time like this? No, as far as she was concerned, this was an unsolvable problem, and that was all there was to it.

  Sensing that what she really needed was to be by herself, Wade left her alone and took a walk outside. There, she collapsed into sobs, regretting everything that she’d done so far.

  She thought about the way that she’d disconnected herself from other people when the war first started, and how she shouldn’t have done that. She recalled coming face to face with the gang that kidnapped her, and figured a dozen different ways that she could have handled that better, and then she went on to think about the way that she’d met B, and she realized that she shouldn’t have allowed herself to get sucked in by the connection between them. No matter how sensitive or caring he seemed, he had been her captor, after all, and was using her DNA to try to defeat her side, the human race. That was when she should have kept her distance – she got it totally the wrong way around.

  Then she thought about Wade, and how she should have created a barrier between her and him the second he stepped into the cottage. She didn’t regret letting him in, because he was on the side of the humans, but she did regret giving in to temptation.

  She knew where she should have been – in one of the refugee camps with other humans – but she didn’t ever feel like she could. She didn’t know how to fit in with them and trust them, but again, she had no one to blame for that other than herself.

  Her life had been filled with mistakes, from the very first moment that she was on her own, and she cried over every single one of them.

  ***

  Things at the house became tense. No one was speaking to anyone, which was incredibly difficult in such a small environment. Every moment felt like a spike in Talia’s heart, and she desperately needed to find a way to fix it. The only problem was that she just didn’t know what she could say to make everything okay again. She just couldn’t find the right words.

  Every time Wade shot her a smile, she turned away, shutting him out, which only broke her heart that little bit more. Every time B refused to meet her eyes, she felt another tear open up in her chest. Her entire body was crashing apart, and there wasn’t a damn thing that she could do about it.

  All she wanted was for things to go back to normal, but she was acutely aware of how impossible that was. Too much had happened for that, there was too much water under the bridge. She had messed things up completely, and there was no coming back from that.

  She s
tarted to think that maybe she would be better off leaving, and being on her own again. She could go back to the way she had been before, a loner, fighting the lonely fight, building up her strength and wondering if the war was ever going to come to an end while contributing her own small part in the fight against the alien invaders. Maybe that would be better for her. Maybe that was where she was supposed to be.

  Maybe, because things were so much different now, she could go and find one of the famous human colonies, and she could really join the fight. Wade had told her that things were turning around, and that the humans actually stood a chance, so maybe it was time for her to accept that. Maybe it was time to finally get involved.

  If she could integrate herself with other humans again now, maybe things wouldn’t be so difficult when life returned to normal. Maybe she would find a way to connect with other people again, and it wouldn’t be too much of a shock to live among them normally. Now that it was clear she wasn’t going to die in a prison cell, it was time to begin really considering what she would do once all of this was done.

  She didn’t really want to go anywhere – in fact even the idea of leaving B and Wade behind filled her with dread – but she didn’t think that she had any other options. All she wanted was for them to be happy, and they so clearly weren’t with her around. She’d been the one that made all of the mistakes, she was the one that had caused the tension. So it was only fair that she be the one to go.

  She locked herself in the bedroom and tossed her head into her hands once more, allowing more tears to flow down her face. She was absolutely devastated, but it was all her own doing, and that was the most heartbreaking thing of all.

  She lay down on the sheets, aware of B and Wade just outside that door, wishing that she could just go back out there and hug them both, but she couldn’t.

  All she could do was lie down and cry, like the weak, pathetic girl that she had never allowed herself to be before. She hated this person that she’d become, she didn’t like this version one damn but, but she couldn’t see it changing. Not when she was here, stuck between these two men, feeling all of their hurt and pain.

  Leaving was the only option that made any sense.

  ***

  Talia took in a deep breath and stepped into the kitchen, where she knew both Wade and B were. The silence didn’t seem to bother them as much as it did her, they could be in the same room as mad as hell at one another, and they wouldn’t be affected. So she wasn’t surprised that there didn’t seem to be much of an atmosphere there at all.

  But the silence really got to her.

  “I… have been thinking,” she gasped out, feeling weird to finally be using her voice again. “And I have something to say to you.” They both looked at her in shock, but neither of them interrupted, which gave her the go ahead to continue. “I am terribly sorry for what I did, for the way that I hurt you both. I would love it if you both knew that was never my intention.”

  Her voice broke with emotion, so she took a second to steel herself for what she had to say next.

  “I never knew that any of this would happen, and I really feel bad about it.” She gasped, her breaths coming out labored, but she forced herself through it. “I think that it would be best for all of us if I just left…”

  “No,” Wade instantly jumped in, shaking his head. “No, we don’t want that. We don’t want you to go.”

  “I know,” she tried to reassure him, having thought all of this through. “But we are at war here, we need to separate soon enough anyway, so we might as well do it now.” She held up her hands to stop him from talking again. “I don’t want anyone to hurt any longer, and I hate that I’ve caused this…”

  “This is my fault,” B suddenly spoke out, causing them both to spin around to face him. He stood up and walked closer to Talia, slipping her hands in his. “I allowed my petty jealousy to get the better of me. Maybe I’ve been among humans too long.” He stared deep into Talia’s eyes, and she felt emotion bursting from him. Whatever he was about to say, he really did mean it, so she listened to it carefully. “But romance is different for the Ec’dua,” he confirmed. “We don’t feel things in the same way that you do. We could… share you, I suppose that’s the best way for me to describe it. Neither of us wants to lose you, so why not give all of us a try?”

  She glanced over to Wade, who was nodding happily, agreeing with what she was starting to think that she actually might like. The sharing part sounded a little weird to her, but the thought of all of them being together was oddly tantalizing. She could picture it already, and although it was confusing to her, and a little terrifying, it was also erotic too. An amber flame of passion grew and grew inside of her, warming her heart and making her skin tingle.

  “But… but… the war…?” she shot out, needing to find a sensible way to look at this. This couldn’t be right, it was too good to be true, which meant that there had to be a fault with it somewhere along the line.

  “Sure,” B nodded. “The war will be over soon, and we will have some decisions to make, but for now, why not just have fun?”

  Fun… Could she just have some fun?

  ***

  Talia wasn’t sure about this statement at all. It sounded a little strange to her, a little too out of the ordinary, but at the same time she could feel herself getting swept away in the moment. She liked both of these guys so much that made her actually want to try. She actually found herself wanting to know what it would be like to be loved by these two aliens… and would it be so different to overstepping the mark that she’d already done? She had already started sleeping with men that definitely weren’t human… so how much worse would it be to actually take this step, and be a threesome instead of a couple?

  It helped a lot that no one else knew about her and them at all, and that there was no one around to judge her for doing what she really wanted to do. That allowed her the freedom to be who she so desperately needed to be.

  “What would it entail?” she gasped out a little stunned, needing some form of clarification. “A schedule, guidelines, what?” There was an intense burst of passion coursing right through her and she didn’t know what to do with any of it. It was a crazy desire that she didn’t really understand, but that she wanted to explore anyway.

  “We have done things your way,” Wade grinned at her, a spark of something powerful behind his eyes, causing the butterflies inside of her to transform into terrifying, flapping birds. “Why not try it ours? We can tell you all about how we do things on our planet… or we can show you, if you like.”

  Talia’s heart fluttered with a nervous anxiety as she realized how far she would be stepping outside of her comfort zone for this one… but also how much she really did want it.

  “Your way?” She asked. “Erm… I don’t know…” It was all a little too much for her, and her head was swimming under the weight of it all. She didn’t know whether she should follow her head or her heart, and that was almost making her sick.

  If she looked deep into herself, she could see that this was exactly what she wanted, but she didn’t know what that said about her as a person…

  “You only have to try it once,” B reassured her, moving closer to her. “If you don’t like it, there will be no commitment, no ramifications, we can just find another way to live instead. You do not ever have to worry about losing us completely, we will always be here. Neither of us want this unless it makes you happy… that’s all we’ve ever wanted.”

  No consequences.

  No ramifications.

  No commitment.

  How could she turn it down when they were offering her everything that she’d ever needed? It sounded perfect. She felt herself nodding before she’d even fully made that choice, and then the answer fell out of her lips.

  “Let’s do it.”

  ***

  “Are you sure?” B asked her with genuine concern in his eyes, sliding his arm down her back. This action made her shiver, and want to be his, be theirs. S
he wanted to give herself to them totally. What was it about these men? Was it their alien mind reading power, or was there a genuine bond there?

  “Yes.” she replied automatically, trying to step backwards for a second to organize her thoughts. “I… I think so.” She still had no idea exactly what she was agreeing to, but she was sure she would regret it if she didn’t at least try. They were right… they had done things her way so it was only fair that she tried it theirs.

  B pulled her back to him for a hug, and in that moment she realized that her heart was pounding, and that her legs were trembling because she realized just how intensely her feelings really ran. There was a connection there, with both of these guys, and she was about to find out exactly what that meant.

  She stepped backwards for a moment, wanting to take a good look at B, just to find her body hitting Wade’s. He was standing right behind her, wanting to embrace her too, and for a brief second she simply fell into his arms, needing the comfort that only he could give her.

  “You’ll be okay,” Wade reassured her. “You will enjoy yourself, and if we feel like you are uncomfortable, we will stop immediately.”

  “Thank you,” she whispered, becoming more settled with her choice. There was something so calming about Wade, something that made her feel okay again, and she realized just how much she enjoyed having him around. How could she regret anything anymore when it had led her to this moment? It might have been a crazy road to get there, but now that she’d arrived, it felt perfectly right, as if fate had intervened and made everything right for her.

  With that, he pulled her back and put his hands on her cheeks, claiming her in a kiss all over again. This time as she became all-consumed by him, there wasn’t any guilt anymore because B knew about it. He was right there watching them, and according to them, this was the Ec’dua way… and if that was the case then she could get on board with it easily! How could she not when it was making her feel so damn good?