VIBGYOR

by Keerthana Jayaraj

Shiva rolled her eyes. “How true..” It was 5:30 in the evening when Shiva left Jacob at Mr. Neil’s and headed home. Jacob had held both her hands in his and said a quiet thank you when they parted. He said something else too but I couldn’t hear it. Shiva didn’t either. But when he said it, his eyes were so alive that it was as if they could see.

  The door to the house was half open. The lights were off and no noise, not even that of a ceiling fan could be heard. For no particular reason I thought about abandoned houses and creepy ghosts. Not that I had any reason to be afraid of ghosts…I mean… of course…I am myself a spirit.

  “Mom…”

  Shiva called it over and over like a chant. Yet she didn’t move. It was as if some monster had clutched at her legs. A groan came from the kitchen and it didn’t take the brilliant ‘Sherlock Holmes’ from Shiva’s books to know who that was. A pathetic figure swayed like a tiny plant in the storm as he held on to the walls with rapidly shaking hands. A pan stood on the stove hissing furiously, emitting what was unmistakably a burning smell.

  “Mom!”

  It was a cry of guilt and pain more than a cry of surprise. And the tone spoke things that Shiva wouldn’t ever permit to leave her mouth.

  “Why can’t you listen to me once in a while?” She caught her mother and gently lead her away, all the way to the bedroom and bed. The woman protested fiercely but…oh well…there is a certain limit to ‘fierce’ when your body is a slave to fever. The most she could manage was a weak shove and a very very gentle no.

  “I’m getting you to a hospital. You shouldn’t have been up today and you know it.” Although the woman’s deathly white face scared me far more successfully than any ghost, I have to admit it was amusing. The stern motherly talk from Shiva certainly made me laugh.

  A few more phone calls later a taxi came to the driveway. The woman was bundled in after a few more(though considerably stronger) protests later and driven off leaving me behind in the house devoid of human beings. What immediately felt different to me was the air. Suddenly it felt like ice - so cold and thick. So utterly miserable. Did houses grieve?

  “Hello…”

  I jumped. Turned around on the spot a few times while trying to come up with explanations. It was Goldy…yes…it was Goldy. She was just playing a prank on me. “Goldy… I know its you…come out now.”

  I felt foolish. Of course it wasn’t Goldy. Of course it can’t be Goldy. Somehow I knew that much.

  “Hello there…” It is an embarrassing thing to admit but I jumped again. The ‘somehow’ was clear to me now. Goldy’s voice however hard she tried couldn’t be this sinister. No way. No how.

  “I’ve wondered for a long time if I should introduce myself. But…Now I’m glad I didn’t. I just love surprise entrances, don’t you?” And before me, too near to me, appeared a flaming Red. Ok…Now…I’m not the kind of spirit to be scared off by a regular Red. You know…a regular red with hands, feet etc etc? But the apparition before me was…A grotesque version of an unborn child not yet ready to leave mother’s womb, floating in mid air. She laughed madly as she uncurled herself and stretched her tine hands. The lisping little girl voice stuck my ears like a hammer.

  “So scared…How very horrible of you…when you are actually borrowing my name. My creator’s name but yet…”

  The thing extended her hands towards me as if to embrace. She floated down till her feet touched the floor, making soft crooning noises all the time.

  “Shakti?” I don’t even know how I managed to mouth that single word. Horror had clutched me in the throat with dead withering hands and was leering at me. Leering and telling me things like “Aren’t you a brave little one? How do like to be so shocked that your voice stops working?”

  “So you know me…I was born at the hospital. My creator died leaving with her Mommy…I stayed with her…gave her many nice things to think about and…made her make you.”

  Nice things indeed…

  Without even knowing it I was taking steps backward.

  “So…now that I’ve shown myself, can’t we all be friends and make what Shakti wanted come true.”

  “And what did Shakti want?”

  Oh dear me…Why did I ask to ask that? Why did I have to make her tiny eyes, more like slits, stare into me? The air burned as she cackled.

  “How much of an idiot can a Violet get? I think you know…I think you’ve you’ve always known from day 1.”

  “Shakti? Shakti? Are you in there?” There was no way a bunch of words could describe how I felt on hearing that voice. Goldy…She was finally there.I don’t have to stand and talk to some dreadful monster alone.

  My partner walked into the living room, beaming. She reeked of good news. In a strange way, I felt sorry for her too. Because whatever it was it was about, the nice feeling was about to dissolve into horror.

  “Bye…I don’t want any loser yellow to see me. She must make an awful partner.” Of course she wasn’t an awful partner! If only I had the spine to say it out loud. But to be fair to myself, no one, I repeat, no one can say that to the face of a…Is there actually a word for worse than a monster?

  Pooh!

  I was staring at the boring back of a chair. But the fear still latched on to my throat. Was it too cowardly to want to run? Because I wanted to run right then. Run, run, run Was it too cowardly to want to run? Because I wanted to run right then. Run, run, run and never look back. A numbness started from the tips of my toes and traveled right to the to my head. Some sort of invisible wine rose up from the throat and choked me. I coughed, gag and sputtered. My heart hurt. So much that I wanted to bang it again the wall. Bang it until it exploded.

  Goldy must have been surprised when she found me like that. There certainly was concern in her tone when she asked me what happened. I told her. Minus the crippling fear I felt then and still felt. She simply stared at me as I finished. Maybe the poor thing felt that to put her feelings in words would only make them more horrifying.

  “She’s gone now.” No idea why I said that. It certainly wasn’t to reassure Goldy because…I was too much in fear to be healing anyone. My eyes darted around, just to reassure myself that the ‘thing’ was really gone. To make sure it wouldn’t do the jump scare thing on me and turn me into a fleeing chicken. Without any kind of warning, I started to sob.

  Sometime later, I collapsed on the floor and screamed till my whole body ached.

  CHAPTER 20

  In the five days following the brief encounter with the Red, Goldy and I didn’t speak a word to each other. Neither did we leave the house, which by the way was empty most of the time, since Shiva’s mother was still in the hospital. The man came and went, always with a packet of food in his hand. Each time he entered Goldy would look at me as if to ask “Why does he bother to eat here?”. As to why we did such a thing…I honestly don’t know. I didn’t even think about it. The only image my mind conjured frequently was the Red and it’s twisted ‘infant’ smile. I would recoil in horror every time, resisting the urge to scream and then curl into a ball and shiver. One thing those horrible few days did to me was strip me well and good of my pride. In my wretched state, one thing was clear to me. Never in a thousand years would I think myself brave again. Never.

  The sixth day began like the previous five. A still house. Sounds in the study, indicating the man was busy with his work. For a while, as I sat on Shiva’s bed, looking at the alarm clock, it seemed that it would end like the other five too. A yell changed everything. It sliced through my years and woke me up from whatever hell kind of the trace I was in.

  The first thing I felt was the numbness of the past days draining from me. And a sudden burst of energy. Without even thinking about it, I ran full speed ahead and I didn’t stop till I was staring right into the man’s puzzled face. He was sitting still, aware of nothing but his laptop screen.

  “What’s going on?” Goldy asked.

  “I think I know.”

  Of course, I knew! The wretched camera clic
ks. The photos had reached the intended eyes. I had to wonder why Mr. Vaishnav Sachidanand kept them to himself for five days.

  “Should we check it out?”

  “Do you particularly want to?”

  Hell I didn’t! I didn’t want to know what he had done with them. Humans have all kinds of amazing ‘technology’ at their disposal. But one has to wonder why they are so found of being destructive. A cellphone…Sure! Let me call people and threaten or taunt them. A camera…Sure! Let me take pictures I am not supposed to and let people all over the world see them. Internet…Ha! There are lots of useful things I can do but heck! Who wants to do them when there are other more ‘interesting’ things? Bullying people for example?

  Goldy shuddered. “No.” She said. “But I think we should. Just to find out what’s Goldy shuddered. “No.” She said. “But I think we should. Just to find out what’s really going on.”

  The two of us touched the laptop together. His inbox was bursting with mails. The one we wanted to see was the first one. Well…I must admit that it was not as nasty as I expected. Just pathetic. A ‘poor me’ sob story full of how Jacob ruined his life and how he was now latching onto Shivani.

  I was tempted to send this a few days ago but I couldn’t be hasty. After all, making a wrong accusation is a horrible thing. The last tine made me laugh out loud. Who, with an ounce of common sense would believe this nonsense? A thoughtful Vaishnav Sachidanand? That’s too like imagining a lion being friends with a rabbit.

  “I must talk to Shiva.”

  Ok…so common sense is not so common. Maybe anger has a way of driving it away. “Should we prepare for what you call the house of oranges?”

  “Not today I hope.”

  “Good thing she’s coming back from the hospital today.”

  Goldy and I exchanged glances at that. Suddenly, I felt the made desire to laugh. Laugh and laugh till I dropped on the floor exhausted. What had been in the house(for the past five days) was the calm. Now the storm was coming. In all its gloomy, lightening flashing glory. A very cliche observation, I know. But sometimes cliches are very good at summing up a situation.

  Shiva and her mother came back home, in a taxi, just as the sunlight began to fade. We watched as they came in - mother leaning on daughter, through the front door just as Mr. Raghunath hurried outside. The taxi hurried away and Mr. Raghunath came back inside, one pained hand holding on to a large traveling bag.

  “I can carry that.” I sighed and turned around to face Shivani. Her weary eyes surrounded by dark circles looked through me at her father. Resentment and anger lurked deep inside them. Her pursed lips seemed ready to pick a fight.

  “I am the one who got this to the hospital.”

  “I didn’t ask you to do that. Besides…” Shiva bit her lips. Her eyes flashed angrily. “Would it have killed you to stay? Just…Even for five minutes?” The man’s eyes went blank as if someone had poured out all the emotion from them. The man’s eyes went blank as if someone had poured out all the emotion from them.VIBGYOR A sigh which reached the surface of his lips was quickly stifled.

  “I have better things to do than play nursemaid, Shiva. Just because you and your mother have all the free time in…”

  “SHE SPENDS ALL HER TIME ON YOU! SHE DOESN’T SPARE HERSELF ANYTHING AND YOU MOCK HER FOR THAT? HOW…” Fireworks! Fireworks! Oranges burst one after the other from Shiva’s head and danced around in circles. Some of them even noticed Goldy and me and pulled faces at us.

  “Let’s get out of here, Shakti…” I felt Goldy tugging at my hand but didn’t move. My eyes surveyed the man’s face, which was till curiously blank. No feelings came out of him. It was eerie. I felt like I was staring into a black hole. If he felt something, it was locked too deep to see. Even for us spirits.

  “I am not looking to pick a fight Shiva. You are doing that.” With a snort he was gone, his foot steps loud on the stairs. Shiva snorted too, muttering something like, “I wish I understood.”. The anger in her eyes disappeared and they became sad.

  “By God, I wish I understood!” She exclaimed before going to her room. “And God I wish I understood this insanity!”

  Goldy tugged harder at my hands. “I want to go out! Come on!”

  “Hey wait!” I said, breaking off from her grip. “I want to check out something.”

  The bed overflowed with old, yellowing papers. They emitted a dead scent that immediately repulsed me. But there was something else too. The harrowing smell of longing and lonliness. In the middle of them, crosslegged, sat Mr. Raghunath. His hands stroked the nearest papers absently as his eyes- as dead looking as those lettersstared at the opposite wall. I moved towards him mechanically and touched his shoulder. And in the next moment I wondered why on earth I was doing such a thing.

  “What happened? What in the world happened? I wonder each day…God! I just…” He was cold. So cold. I finally sensed it…The deep sadness and confusion buried somewhere inside him. So deep that only a fraction of it rose to the surface. So deep that it was eating at him on the inside.

  “Masks…”

  I shuddered as I muttered the word aloud. Another mask stripped off. Seeing it felt I shuddered as I muttered the word aloud. Another mask stripped off. Seeing it felt eerie. Just as if the man was gone and what was left, sitting in front of me was a ghost. And the letters around him were his ashes.

  “Would you look at this!” Goldy was laughing. She was shocked,obviously. But she was laughing. Her right hand was poised lazily on her hip and her left was placed delicately over a letter “You’ve got to see this! You’ve just got to!”

  She said again, shaking her head and staring disbelievingly at the letter. “I don’t think I’ll ever get over the shock.”

  “Ok…Whatever…” My eyes were still fixed on Mr. Ragunath’s pale face and dead gaze. My hand was numb from the cold yet I didn’t want to withdraw it. I wanted to pry. To go deeper and deeper into the abyss of his mind and find the feelings that were buried there. It was a wish impossible to realize but there was nothing I wanted more.

  “Are you going to read it or not?” I had forgotten about my headaches and the deal me and Goldy made(The easiest thing in the world…considering the things that happened! Ha!). At that moment I was reminded. Reminded forcibly by a sudden bolt of pain that struck me on the top of my head. It made it’s way slowly down like a tree root, smothering me like a huge snake.

  Before I could scream, everything went black.

  “You idiot!”

  The blackness vanished. The world came back in full colour. All to easily…Just like human switch on the TV and the pictures appear, talking and moving. “Where you about to pass out again?”

  I opened my mouth to reply but before I could…I caught a flash of red just by the window. “Let’s get out of here!”

  I pushed Goldy out of the room, ignoring her babble.

  “Do you want to see that Red?”

  The question, which I posed to her, the moment we were in Shiva’s room, put babble mode on hold. Goldy’s eyes went all round and scared. Her lips trembled as she tried to phrase a coherent question.

  “It was there?”

  “I saw it.”

  Goldy slapped her forehead.

  “What’s it doing…Hovering about…”

  As my fear cooled down a little, a more pressing question came to my mind. What were we going to do? And more importantly… “We can’t go along with this one month thing!”

  Goldy’s mouth opened but I held up one hand and silenced her.

  “Now that we know a Red is at the bottom of it all…”

  “But it wants the same thing. Punishment!”

  “No Goldy! It wants murder! Are you ready to help me do that? Or…Do you want to see Shiva do…”

  “No!!!!!!” It was a scream. The old woman, comfortably laying down, all cozy underneath her blanket, groaned. A plate crashed down in the kitchen and broke. “I thought so.” I said firmly. “That is why we are going to tak
e it slow. We are going to do the right thing.”

  “But we know everything. We…”

  “No we don’t! We know pieces of it but…no…not the full story. We have to wait. We can’t…” “Do you even care that I might not be around when the time comes…” “You don’t want to miss the fun, is that it?”

  I should have apologized the very next second for being such a jerk but…for some strange unknown reason, I didn’t. Who am I kidding? There wasn’t any strange or unknown factor. Apologizing is so damn hard. Even more so when you are actually in the wrong and have to get the word sorry out of your system.

  “So I’m the self-centered bitch, am I?”

  “That’s…”

  “That’s exactly what you said,” Goldy stood up. “I don’t know if you understood this already, so I’ll spell it out for you. I care about this as much as you do. I want to see justice done as much as you do. And more importantly, I’d like to leave…I’d like to leave feeling some kind of closure. I’d like to know that you won’t be…after I’m gone…”

  “Goldy…”

  “Do you wonder why I stuck around even when I didn’t have to? Do you even… What’s the point in trying to explain when you can’t even see within an inch from your nose? Fine I’m done!”

  I felt as if a block of ice landed right on the top of my head. So cold…so cold…I opened my mouth trying to get a word out but my voice had frozen. “What have you done, you idiot?” A scared, timid version of my own voice spoke inside my head. “Just what dumb humans do. You chase away the only company you have by opening you big mouth before thinking. Do you need a ‘look before you leap’ sign posted in front of your eyes to get the message?”

  “Goldy…Please…Ok…I didn’t exactly…”

  “Don’t you bother saying anything else.”

  She rushed out of the room and was soon out of the house. The ice block on my head melted drenched me in painfully cold water.

  “Hiya!”

  The voice I heard this time was definitely not my own. It was chillingly menacing yet babyish voice. I turned around.