Back in the Rain

by Elen Chase

  "Drew..." he spoke my name in a low moan. I passed one hand through his hair, undoing his ponytail, then got my arms around him. "I missed you so much," he whispered to me, and I let my hand slip under his shirt, on his back. "Drew, what are you doing?" His cheeks flushed red, and our kiss grew even more intense.

  "Let me feel it, Dan," I told him, "your skin under my fingers." My head was spinning with desire, our bodies desperately longing for contact.

  "Drew, it seems like your mother forgot her purse—" Dad barged in, and stared at us for way too long. I took it for granted that my parents already knew of us at that point, but probably not to that extent. I swallowed air, trying to calm down, and I took my hand back out of his shirt. Dan was so distraught his face had turned blood red and he couldn't look at Dad at all.

  "Excuse me," said a nurse walking in, and I mentally thanked her a hundred times for putting an end to that weird situation. "Mr. Price, your physiotherapist is waiting for you downstairs," she told Dan. He looked at me, as to tell me that he didn't want to leave me, but I smiled at him and told him to go. He left the room with the nurse, and as soon as he went away, I felt incredibly lonely.

  "Dad, what happened to Dan after I was shot?" I asked him, worried for Dan. Dad heaved a sigh and sent a message to Mum to tell her that he was staying with me a little longer, then he sat back next to me.

  "He was hospitalized right away, just like you. He had lost a lot of blood, and his conditions were critical, both physically and emotionally. Dan is very strong, Drew. Strong, but also incredibly sensitive. What he went through during the past year affected him deeply and brought old scars back to the surface. Abandonment issues and childhood traumas, combined with rape and torture, weakened his mind considerably; he had a nervous breakdown and the doctors had to keep him under observation, afraid he'd try to commit suicide. At the same time, he went through surgery for the injuries on his arm and leg, and since he woke up after that, he barely talked to anyone. He spent days in a comatose state where the only thing he would do was ask about you. When your conditions weren't life threatening anymore, he finally accepted to begin the physiotherapy and started seeing his psychologist again from that rehabilitation center. Many people came to visit him, but he refused to meet your mother and me. The only times he would leave his room were for the therapy and to come here by your side. This was during the day. At night he had, and he's still having, unfortunately, pretty serious panic attacks and consequent hyperventilation problems. I won't lie to you, Drew. It won't be easy for him to get over it completely. And it won't be easy for you either, staying by his side. But you can do it. Just by waking up, you eased his pain so much. In the next few days the police will come here to question you, and they will need to talk to him too."

  "I'll stay by his side." I had never been more determined. "And I want to take part in his therapy too."

  "This is good, but do one thing at a time. You just woke up from a coma; be a little indulgent with yourself." Dad patted my head, and suddenly an uncomfortable silence fell in the room. "And about that… I know that you're young and—”

  "Dad, no," I said, covering my face with my hand. "Don't tell me you're about to say what I think you're about to say."

  "What do you think I'm about to say?"

  "Something about not making out in a hospital bed, I guess."

  "Yes, more or less," said Dad, laughing to dissolve the awkwardness between us, then got pretty serious. "And please, also consider that after the experience he has lived, it must be difficult for Dan to establish normal physical relations with anybody. You will have to be patient with him." He was referring to his experience with Colten.

  "Ahem, Dad… it's late for that," I confessed.

  "… How late?" He seemed perplexed.

  "Too late."

  "Oh… I didn't think…"

  "Dad… you’re not against it, right? About Dan and I."

  Dad smiled at me. "Are you happy together?" he asked me.

  "Yes. We're happy together." I almost felt like crying, thinking of us.

  "Then your mother and I are happy for you."

  "It's not just a momentary phase." It was important for me to point it out. "I want to spend the rest of my life with him."

  "I understand, Drew. Thank you for being so honest with me."

  "You're not upset because he's a guy, right?"

  "No," he said with his usual gentle smile.

  "Can I assume you're not gonna complain because you won't have any grandchildren either?"

  "Ha-ha-ha, who said we won't have any? Do you guys dislike kids or something?"

  "I mean..."

  "I know what you mean," he said. "Don't worry about these kind of things. Just think of yourself now."

  Chapter 77

  In the following days, I received many visits. Sara, Sean, Chloe, the old lady, Miller and Hutchison, Nick and his wife, and even Jim and Bill came to see me, regardless of the obvious risks to their group.

  "So, it looks like you're a hero in Rosedeer now," Sean told me one day. Apparently, the story of the young man who stopped a sect of powerful, perverted politicians alone to avenge his dead girlfriend had gone viral. I didn't like it one bit, but basically everyone in town knew my name, and a lot of flowers, sympathy notes and presents were delivered to my parents’ house in the month I was in a coma.

  "Even the news said you had woken up. All my friends are asking me about you!" said Chloe, taking a picture with me with her watchpad.

  "Hey, don't even think on posting that on the internet," I said with a frown.

  She stuck her tongue out and said, "Relax, I'm just gonna show this to a couple of friends."

  "It does feel strange to know that you're a celebrity now," said Sara. "Look, packages are also coming here at the hospital now."

  "It's mainly chocolate. Here, you can take some with you," said Dan, handing a bunch of small packages to the three of them. "As for the letters attached to them, leave them in this box." His arm had healed almost completely, and he could move it normally at that point.

  "Hey Drew, your boyfriend is giving away your gifts, is that alright?" Sean asked me with a provocative tone of voice.

  "Whatever," I said, a bit stressed by all the visits, the meetings with the police and the rehabilitation therapies. All I needed was to be with Dan, and yet the moments where we could stay alone were nonexistent. The only thing I was seriously happy about was that he and the others had managed to stay out of that media circus I had ended up in.

  Probably, I had to thank that man for it. The President of the City of Rosedeer, Richard Leanen. He had come to see me the day after I woke up, and he asked me to tell him in detail all that had happened from the very beginning. He had researched Dan and all the people involved in my investigation, clearly saying right from the start that I didn't even have to try hiding anything from him. I had no choice but to tell him the truth, and he promised me that none of them would have any kind of problem with justice if I was honest with him. When I finished talking, it seemed like he really didn't know anything about the sect, but at the same time he was worried for his position in the Rosedeer Government. He asked me to accept publicly his support in the trial against the sect so that he could officially distance himself from them and keep his good reputation. He put it as a request, but it sounded like a deal to my ears. Do something for me and I'll guard your friends from the consequences of the scandal you caused. I accepted without even thinking about it. I didn't care whether he was really on my side or it was just a facade; I had reached my goal and now I just wanted to give the ones I loved enough time and peace to recover. I had stopped trying to save the world. Society will never be perfect; the only thing I can aim to improve is the little world of everyday life we're going to live in together.

  "Right!" shouted Sara suddenly. "Drew, Dan, you haven't seen Lilian's baby yet."

  "Oh." I had completely forgotten that her baby had been due in September. "Show me," I said, and she ope
ned a picture from her watchpad that Lilian had sent her, making the hologram big enough so that everyone in the room could see it. In the photo, a small baby was sleeping quietly in a pink onesie.

  "It's a girl," I commented.

  "Yes, her name is Shallie," said Sara smiling. Shallie. I looked for a while at that little, defenseless human being named after her. She would have been so happy. No, she was happy, I could feel it.

  You're lucky, little one. You've got a splendid guardian angel looking after you.

  "Dan," Chloe called Dan's name, worried. I turned to him to see what was happening and saw him crying.

  "Eh?" Dan touched his face, as if he hadn't realized. "Ah… no… this…" he said, clearly uncomfortable about it. After what had happened, he had become extremely sensitive, but I didn't think it was to the point he would cry in front of the others. It was the first time they were seeing him like that, and I could tell they didn't know what to do either. "I… I have to go," he said, and he left the room as fast as he could, still needing the crutch to walk, avoiding meeting the others’ eyes.

  "Dan!" I called him, disconnecting the I.V. from my arm and getting up from my bed to rush outside. "Please don't follow us!" I screamed to the others as I went out. I saw him stop at the end of the corridor, his head leaning against the wall, still crying. I ran to him and took his face in my hands, hoping to make him feel better. I heard voices getting closer from behind the corner, as an uncontrollable jealousy grew inside of me. I didn't want anyone else to see him crying. I wanted to be the one to console him, and I wanted to be the one he could rely on. Without thinking, I took his arm and dragged him inside the closest room to us, locking the door behind our back. It was the staff room where the doctors rest during breaks.

  "Dre—”

  "Shhhh," I pulled him closer, his head on my chest, waiting for the people outside the room to go away. I was feeling like a little kid who hides after getting into mischief, my heart beating fast and my breath uneven. When they finally walked away, I let out a sigh of relief and a quiet laugh. My body was still too weak, and I needed to sit down. First I took Dan's crutch from him and leaned against the wall, and then I let my back slide down until I was sitting on the floor, bringing Dan with me. I took a look around for a moment. The room was dark, with the blinds down, and rather small. Next to the door, there was a small table with a boiler, a coffee maker and the basics for salad dressing. In the middle of the room was a sofa and in front of it a TV, and that was pretty much everything. I closed my eyes, enjoying the silence around us. Before I could realize it, Dan’s lips touched mine in a slow, tender kiss. I had no idea what was going through his head, but I loved it. I held my breath, my heartbeat increased and I became extremely conscious of his body so close to me. He pinned me against the door and straddled me. His breath was shallow, his eyes dark with want, and yet his body seemed tense. Something clicked in my head. I needed to feel him more. Closer. To feel he was still mine. To feel I was still his. I lifted his shirt up a little, slowly caressing his back. I took my time mentally mapping his skin in my head. I couldn't get those pictures out of my head of the injuries and scars that man had left on him. Dan knew I was thinking about it; I could read it in his eyes. Yet he let me do it anyway.

  "I want to look at you," I whispered to him and took his shirt off. Still it wasn't enough. I wanted to see all of him. I noticed hesitation on his face, and I didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about it, so I guided his hands onto the buttons of the jacket of my pajama and let him undress me. I tucked my face on his neck and his shoulder, breathing him in, as my hands naturally continued making my mental map of his body, passing from his back, to his waist, to his chest. Hesitantly, his hands moved on my arms, up to my shoulders, then on my back. I loved his touch, how intimate it felt just to be like that together. "I want to look at you," I repeated again in a hoarse voice, my hands on the elastic of the sweatpants he was wearing. A small nod of his head and he was allowing me to take them off, along with his underwear. He helped me do the same, and we were now completely naked one in front of the other. Of course it wasn't the first time we were seeing each other without our clothes on, but this time there was truly nothing standing between us; no lies, no fear, no distrust, it was just us, the way we really were. I kept my eyes on him, observing every detail of his body. He still seemed nervous, so I smiled at him and got closer, taking his face in my hands.

  "Drew..." He dropped his gaze to the ground.

  "Hey… look at me," I told him. When our eyes met again, I continued. "Are you embarrassed?" He shook his head.

  "I am… so ashamed," he confessed.

  "Ashamed?" I was confused. "Of what?"

  "You know now… You even saw those pictures. What I let that man do to me…" Those words hurt. "I feel dirty and disgusting."

  I hugged him gently. "Dan… what that man did to you doesn't make you dirty or disgusting… You have nothing to be ashamed of." I caressed his head and his back. "You can show me any side of you." I moved back to say it clearly to his face. "You're perfect to me." He didn't say anything, but closed his eyes as I gave him another kiss. A soft kiss at first, a small touch of my mouth on his, followed by many others. His lips were so inviting and tasted too good to resist; I passed my tongue on them, and he offered his mouth to me. I wrapped my tongue around his, moving circularly, as a burning excitement linked that sweet moisture directly to my lower body. More, I wanted more. Back and forth, left and right, our kiss got deeper as our hands were avidly moving on the other's skin. Breathless, we looked at each other with a mad desire in our eyes. I want to know him. All of him. All that I wasn't able to see until now. He passed his eyes on me, like he was reading my heart, and so did I. I was glad the hesitation that blocked him before wasn't there anymore. As I looked at him, I asked a few questions to myself, as if I was on a quiz show: where is it that it tickles when I touch him? Where is it that it hurts? Where is it that it feels good? I smiled, happy to be able to answer those questions; my mind and body had recorded every single spot. We were both hard and started touching each other. His grip on me was steady and his movements rhythmically matched our breaths. As I was stimulating him with one hand, I passed the other through his hair to take away his hair band and let his wavy strands of hair fall down on his neck, and then I moved my hand to his face. Dan took my index finger in his mouth, sucking it gently, looking deeply in my eyes. That blew my mind. I pulled him closer and moved my wet finger to his entrance, teasing the skin around it. Then I slowly put it inside of him. I was expecting him to be startled by it, but on the contrary, he let me hear those moans of pure pleasure I loved. I took it out, and temporary had him move away from me. I reached the small table next to the door, and took a bottle of olive oil from the ingredients for the salad. I opened it and let some of it fall on my fingers. I let him lie down on his back on the floor, and I went on top and kissed him. This time I slid two fingers inside, gently, moving them circularly at first, then back and forth. I stretched him, getting his body used to that intrusion, but I didn't find any kind of resistance on his side. He was relaxed as if he had been waiting for it the whole time. I was going crazy. I needed him. I poured a little more oil on my erection and slowly went inside him. It went in incredibly smoothly, and I saw no pain at all on his face. Finally. How long had I been waiting to make love with him again? A happiness I hadn't felt in a while spread from my heart throughout my body, and I laughed and cried at the same time. Dan looked at me with sweet, teary eyes, and he whispered my name, opening his arms.

  "Drew." As he called me, I fell into his arms, getting deeper inside of him.

  "Dan." I kissed him, putting in my kiss all the feelings I had for him.

  I moved inside, enjoying his wet, hot body, our hearts beating at the same beat.

  We are one again.

  I could feel his desperation, his suffering from his past experiences going away under the weight of my body. Finally he wasn't trying to punish himself, he wasn't usi
ng me to forget, and he wasn't looking for that pain that used to make him feel alive. He was simply accepting all I had to give him, giving me all of him in return. We were alone, truly and deeply together. And it felt good, unbelievably good.

  "Ahh," he moaned with pleasure as I was pushing deeper and deeper inside of him. Tight and hot, I felt him enclosing around me, bringing me closer to heaven with every thrust. "Drew..." he called my name in that spiral of chemical, shocking sensations we were experiencing. "I can feel you… so much."

  "Dan… I can feel you too," I said, almost at my limit. He was all I had, and I was all he had. And we didn't need anything else. "Who cares what the world calls it," I whispered into his ear, exhausted, terribly holding back. I could feel a buildup of pressure deep within. "It's our feelings, and we can call them whatever we like." I lost myself in his eyes as contractions built inside of me, on the edge, ready to fall down. "I love you."

  I could see him losing his breath, his eyes full of tears, right before letting myself go, bringing him to heaven with me. An indescribable warmth ran through our veins to every inch of our bodies, accompanying the flooding shocks of that astonishing orgasm. I held onto him with all my strength, letting the vibrations of our bodies shake me as that pulsing explosion made me feel I was almost going to die. I felt vulnerable, and yet in control. I stayed still, holding him tight in my arms, until it was over for the both of us. I looked at him the whole time; there was nothing else in the world for me. It took us several minutes to calm down our racing hearts and emotions. I smiled, observing how diligently he was trying to stop his tears from coming down, with no results. With his recent emotional breakdown all his defenses had fallen, leaving his heart uncovered and pure. I loved his fragility and the way he naturally responded to my feelings with an honesty I didn't think possible. Since that moment, I wanted to watch over him for the rest of my days.