Forever And Always

by Christy Smith

In good weather, Trish would set about baking a pan of biscuits as soon as he left. As soon as they cooled a bit, she would wrap them in a towel for the journey across the acres to see John and offer him the freshly baked biscuits. It became a tradition with the couple; a special time to share themselves with each other.

  John wouldn’t vowed he wouldn’t keep anything from Trish. Early morning April 19, 1867, they sat together talking, when John pulled booklets from his back pocket.

  “My love, I must tell you something. I have joined Pinkerton’s National Detective Agency. I want you to read these booklets. They can explain better than I.”

  Trish took them and began reading. As she turned the last page, she reached for his hand and kissed it tenderly.

  “John, I agree with everything here. I totally support your decision.” John reported directly to Allen Pinkerton.

  Chapter 8

  Becoming a Family

  She had been thinking of him, looking at the beautiful wedding ring he had given her. It would seem quite plain to some, but she cherished it. I cannot believe that we are truly married. I feel as if I have always loved him, and I am quite sure that I will never stop loving him. John fills my heart completely. I have everything I’ve ever truly wanted – a God-given gift of everlasting love and companionship, and a life-long friend.

  Glancing again at her ring, she smiled as she watched the two ruby chips dancing in the sunlight. Patricia felt as warm as the sunshine, filled with love for John. She had come to know what to expect from his touch. When he traced her face with his fingers ever so lightly, he was warm, loving, and romantic. If he caressed her cheek, lingeringly cupping it in his hand, they would make love.

  Seeing John come in, she smiled and walked over to him. He wore no shirt despite the slight chill in the air. After he stacked the armload of wood he’d been carrying, he turned to her and smiled. Reaching up to his shoulders, she slipped a finger under each of his suspenders and ran them down to his waistline. As she reached his waist, she welcomed him home with a kiss. He immediately responded to her as he always did.

  Out of that love, their firstborn child was conceived that very night. Three months later, Trish was sure of her condition. She walked out to where he was chopping wood with a cup of cool water for him.

  “John,” she began as she handed him the water, “I have a surprise for you.” She placed a hand on her stomach. “I’m going to have your child.”

  He had been drinking the water she’d given him as he listened. When he heard what she said, the cup dropped to the ground, and he stood looking at her, dazed. “John? Are you all right?” she asked as she touched his face.

  Her touch brought him out of it. He picked her up and swung her around, both of them laughing and crying with joy. He set her down and kissed her. As they kissed, he realized what he had just done. Immediately, he went into a panic. “Oh, my gosh!” Scooping her up in his arms, he brought her back into the house, taking her over to the bed, and had a look of concern she had never seen before. “Are you all right, Trish?”

  “Yes, silly! We’re fine.”

  “A baby! Trish, I can hardly believe it! I’m so happy! You’re sure you’re all right? Should I fetch a doctor? Can I get you anything?”

  She thought John’s concern was very touching but hardly necessary. Smiling, she began to get up, but John stopped her.

  “No. You stay here. I’ll do whatever you need done.” He was determined to pamper her, and pamper her he did. From the beginning, he was very protective of her. He refused to let her carry any water from the creek or lift anything heavy. If John had his way, Trish would have stayed in bed the entire pregnancy. On certain things, Trish stood her ground. She was almost as determined as John. She kept telling him, “I don’t want to be put on a shelf for the rest of my pregnancy!”

  She didn’t feel pregnancy was a sickness (as most people treated it). She felt more alive now than ever before. She tried explaining it to John. “Sweetheart,” she began, “you put a new life inside me; you didn’t make me sick. I feel wonderful; I’m happier now than I’ve ever been before. Please don’t worry so much; I won’t break, and you won’t hurt me. Let me do some things, honey. I need to. You don’t want to spoil me, now do you? If you keep this up, I may forget how to do things. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

  “No, Trish, I’m just so worried about you. I want you to be comfortable and happy.”

  “I am comfortable. Now make me happy.” Some compromises were made. John now helped Trish with much of the work, especially cooking and laundry. He refused to let her lift heavy baskets of wet clothes or the iron pot at the fireplace. Secretly, Trish loved all of the pampering. She remembered what Jasper had told her the day she married John. She loved the way he looked at her now, with such concern and love in his eyes.

  As time marched forward, they fell deeper and deeper in love. Her belly began to swell with child. Months later, upon retiring, Trish felt something move in her belly. “What’s that?”

  “What?”

  “That!” she exclaimed, feeling it again and jumping. Together, they looked at her belly. The baby was moving, kicking; they watched together in total amazement.

  “I can feel that!” she cried, reaching for his hand. She placed it on her belly just as the baby kicked again. John pulled his hand back as if she had put it on a bed of red hot coals.

  Surprised at the movement, they both let out a laugh. John gently replaced his hand. She tenderly placed hers atop it. Smiling and contented, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  Late one evening, they sat talking on the floor in front of the fireplace as they often did, Trish leaning back, John with his arms around her.

  “I still wonder sometimes where the daisies came from that were on my windowsill shortly after you arrived on the estate. I wore one of them in my hair for the longest time, remember?”

  “Yes, and you looked so beautiful, even after it wilted!” John said with a grin.

  “One of these days, I’ll find out where those daisies came from!”

  “You know, come to think of it, I lost a handkerchief while I was swimming one day. I never did find it.”

  Patricia looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. “I have a confession to make,” she began, laughing quietly as she got up and walked to their dresser. She reached all the way to the back of the drawer, reaching for something. Walking back over to him and sitting down, she asked, “Is this anything like the one you lost?” Taking the object from her, he examined it. It was his handkerchief. It had his initials hand-embroidered in the corner.

  “You?”

  “Yes, me. I stumbled across you that day and took it. I didn’t know why then, but I took it anyway.”

  “You were at the creek that day?”

  “Yes,” she replied, blushing.

  Oh, how John loved it when she blushed! It made him melt. “I’ve got a confession to make too. You know those daisies you keep wondering about?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, I threw them inside your window from below and stayed down there too. When your mother came in later, and you were talking with her, I heard every word. Do you remember what you said about being afraid you’d never become a woman?”

  “Yes, I remember,” she said quietly, blushing again.

  “The noise you heard outside was me.”

  “You?”

  “Yes, and you almost caught me, too! If you had stayed at the window any longer, you probably would have spotted me.”

  “But I saw you in the hayloft!”

  “You saw my blanket rolled up to look like me. I was under your window, hiding behind the tree.”

  “Oh, you!” she exclaimed, ruffling his hair and running. He caught her just as she ran past the bed. They fell back on the bed together, laughing and kissing.


  * * *

  The closer the end of the pregnancy came, the more nervous John became. He knew the risks of bearing a child. He was thankful Trish did not. The next morning, Trish awoke to erratic pains. John went to fetch Doc. When he returned, he had not only brought Doc but Jasper too. Margaret also came by to check on Trish, as she knew her time was near. He let mother and daughter have time alone. In a short time John rushed back into the house to check on Trish, with Jasper close on his heels, only to be turned away by Doc.

  By now, the birth process was beginning. Jasper and John sat down on the porch to wait. John was sure when the time came he would be calm; he turned out to be very wrong. He was more nervous now than he had ever been in his entire life. Suddenly, they heard a cry of pain from Trish. It was all Jasper could do to keep John outside.

  The next cry they heard wasn’t Trish, but that of their child. When John heard it, there was no holding him back, not that Jasper would have tried. John rushed in to her side. On seeing his firstborn wrapped in a blanket in Trish’s arms, there were tears of relief and joy.

  “Come see your son, love,” Trish said as she motioned him closer. John was overwhelmed with emotion. Doc, Margaret, and Jasper stayed well back, not wanting to intrude on the couple’s happiness. John leaned over to kiss his wife. She smiled and held out his firstborn to him. Gingerly, he took the baby from her. Trish smiled even brighter at the sight of them together. John filled with an overwhelming sense of happiness and pride when he laid eyes upon his firstborn son.

  “Congratulations, you two!” Jasper said, finally coming forward, smiling at Trish, winking at John.

  “Thank you, Jasper”.

  Soon, John returned the baby to Trish and he kissed her again, whispering, “I love you, darling, more than I can say.” After making sure that Trish and the baby were all right, he went over to talk to the doctor and Jasper. Margaret came forward to see her first grandchild. She remained by Patricia’s side while John spoke to the doctor and Jasper.

  After seeing them all on their way, he came back in to his family. He was awestruck by the sight of Trish putting her babe to breast. The baby was hungrily suckling, his tiny hands kneading.

  The sight filled him with such unbelievable joy. It wasn’t only Patricia’s body he loved; he loved her mind, her sense of humor, and her passion for life. In fact, these qualities first attracted him to her.

  She could make his heart skip a beat just by looking at him. The laughter they shared was priceless. Their life together was invaluable beyond comparison to him, as it was to her.

  They didn’t have much to call their own, monetarily speaking, but what they lacked in these areas was made up for in the wealth of love and friendship they shared together.

  They both reveled in the new life God given to them, Johnny. Every day was a new experience. The new parents could never have imagined how much more fulfilled life would be with a child; the faces they made together; watching their son discover his fingers, toes; his tongue and his voice. Each new discovery the baby made was cause for celebration.

  Trish felt such a new zest for life; she was so happy, she found herself constantly singing. And John! Well, he was the picture of a button busting new father. Constantly, you could spy him talking to his son, many times down on his hands and knees so that he could be eye to eye with Johnny. Every day, when John came in from his work outside, he would greet Trish, walk over to Johnny, pick him up, and twirl him gently ‘round.

  The baby’s mastery of crawling, talking, and walking was met with great happiness and pride by his parents. As time marched on, so did Johnny—literally. Soon he was following Daddy out the door—first toddling after John, then walking, and soon after, running. Father and son spent an increasingly large amount of time together. They became inseparable. Trish became accustomed to the fact that where one was, the other was either there already or soon to follow.

  For the first year, they made Johnny’s bed in their room at night. Trish felt more comfortable knowing where he was and that he was all right. He was still much too young to realize what was going on between his parents.

  Chapter 9

  Two?

  The couple kissed, hugged, and held hands quite often. It was not meant as a flagrant show of their feelings; it had become a natural part of their lives, as natural as breathing, to touch one another, each showing their love for the other in simple ways. They always kissed each other upon leaving or returning to the other’s company.

  The fire of their love was always glowing; the embers ready to re-ignite the passions they felt with a glance, a touch, or a spoken word.

  “Trish, let’s never hide what we have behind closed doors or ‘under a bushel basket’. When we have children, I want them to be aware of our love for each other and to know how much they will be loved. You feel the same way, don’t you?”

  “Yes, John. I want to teach them they should never be afraid or ashamed to show their love for anyone or anything.”

  When Johnny was eighteen months old, Trish had another surprise for John. Again, she was going to have his child. The family was growing, and she and John were ecstatic.

  On their son’s second birthday, Trish was six months along with their second child. There was quite a difference in the two pregnancies, though. This time she was much larger than before, which made things increasingly more difficult for her, the further along she was. The more Trish thought about it, she realized she had been bigger from the beginning this second time. Neither she nor John knew what to think of her increased size, and Doc said everything was fine.

  They had a small birthday party for Johnny. He was having a wonderful time, being the center of attention, even more so than usual. When Daddy brought out his gift, he let out with a squeal of delight; it was a rabbit all his very own.

  Trish sat down for a while to enjoy the sight of her husband and son together. It was a perfect day, filled with warm sunshine, sweet breezes, and happy voices. Just watching the two of them with that rabbit made her heart sing with happiness; both of their faces shone like the sun! Their joy and laughter was contagious. Johnny’s eyes sparkled brighter than she’d ever seen them. They were tiny, sparkling pools of blue. And, oh, how she loved to hear them laugh!

  As the final weeks of Trish’s pregnancy approached, both she and John became more apprehensive about the impending birth. They had both spent time talking to Johnny about the new brother or sister he would have, trying to prepare him. He began to change, seeming to understand that he would soon have to share Mommy and Daddy.

  When her time came, Doc was fetched, and once again, John was summarily tossed out of the house. He had Jasper to keep him company in the long hours of waiting. This time they had the added attraction—or distraction—of Johnny.

  John had become extremely concerned about Trish. Things were taking so much longer this time; John began thinking disastrous thoughts, and he allowed them to envelop him. All that was real melted away. He began to feel as if he were drowning, gasping for air, frantic for the sweetness of its smell.

  Everyone waiting felt the tension. Jasper too was concerned about the time, but he didn’t speak of it, for John’s sake. Johnny became restless. Soon he lost interest in playing in the yard and remembered that Mommy was inside the house.

  “Daddy, I want to go inside the house and see Mommy!”

  “No, Johnny! You stay out here.” John boomed.

  The boy shrank away from his father, frightened. Immediately, John realized what he had done. He got up from the porch where he had been sitting with Jasper, ran over to his son, and scooped him up in his arms, hugging him.

  “I’m sorry, Johnny. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I know you want to see Mommy, honey; so do I. But we can’t right now. Mommy is very busy. She’s with the doctor, remember?”

  “Is Mommy safe?” Before John c
ould answer him, they heard a scream from inside the house. John jumped in surprise, tightening his grip on Johnny, who was still in his arms, and turned toward the cabin door.

  “Mommy!” the child screamed.

  Trying not to show his own fright to his son, John comforted him, saying, “Don’t you worry, honey. Mommy is fine. The doctor is helping Mommy.” In the same moment, he glanced to Jasper for support.

  Father and son went back to the porch to wait. The two sat down side by side. As they did, Jasper, smiling through his concern, spoke reassuringly to the boy. “Of course your mommy will be all right, John. Your Mommy is pretty tough!”

  They expected the doctor to come out soon and tell them that they could go in and see Trish and the baby. That was not the case, however; the time continued to drag on and on. What was really only minutes seemed like years. Later, they heard a second scream. Everyone outside stopped in their tracks. It was all John could do, not to go running in to Trish, but he knew if he did, Johnny would follow right behind him, so they waited and waited, the three of them together on the porch.

  Finally, Doc did come out looking exhausted as he wiped the perspiration from his brow with a yellowed, ragged handkerchief. He looked up, sporting a broad grin, and announced, “Well, John, you have healthy twin girls! Trish is very weak but doing fine. You can go in, but only for a few minutes.”

  Jasper and John exchanged shocked expressions. Jasper caught up Johnny and hugged him tightly, dancing around the yard with the boy in his arms. Still numb with shock over Doc’s announcement, John went into the cabin; he was in a daze, walking on air. Slowly he walked to their bedroom and saw Trish lying quietly, her eyes closed, her face perspiration-soaked. Cradled in her arms were two little bundles. Quietly he approached the bed and whispered her name. She opened her eyes sleepily and smiled weakly.

  “Hi, sweetheart.”

  Instantly, John was aware of how the birth had indeed weakened her; her voice was very strained. The uneasiness John had felt so strongly earlier returned. She spoke again, trying not to let John see how tired she was. Her voice is stronger but it’s not as strong as it should be.