Forever And Always

by Christy Smith

  On the eve of their wedding, Patricia was visited in her room, as always, by her mother; this time, Mother had brought with her a large box. “This is for you, dear.”

  Patricia took the box from her and opened it excitedly. As she pulled back the last of the wrappings, she gasped in wonder at what she saw. It was the most beautiful petticoat she had ever seen! Slowly, carefully, she pulled it out of the box.

  “Oh, Mother, it’s beautiful!” She stood up with it, ran to the mirror, and held it up in front of herself. Watching Patricia, Mother thought, She looks so grown up, so beautiful with her long hair cascading down her back, and tomorrow she is to be wed. Tears came.

  “Oh, thank you, Mother. I love it!” she squealed, looking at her reflection in the mirror and running her fingers over the delicate lace and daisies on the petticoat. Her eyes shone with delight. The entire petticoat was layer upon layer of white lace with tiny, hand-embroidered daisies strewn throughout. Mother sat on the bed watching her twirl round and round in circles as she held the petticoat up in front of her. Her soul smiled at Patricia’s happiness.

  Patricia ran back to her mother and hugged her tightly. Mother laughed, pleased, and hugged her back. Smiling, she said, “Now, sit down. It is time we had a talk.”

  She sat down, looking questioningly at her mother.

  “Tomorrow you will be wed.”

  “Yes, Mother.”

  “There are a few things that you and I must discuss. Being married is very joyous, for the most part. You have someone to share your special feelings with, a companion; someone with whom to share the good times and the bad times. You will be taken good care of, but you must do as you are told to. Your husband is the master of the household. His word is law. You must obey him. If you are lucky and try very hard to please him, you will have a very good life.

  There are things too, daughter, that you must learn to endure. What I will tell you now is of great importance, so listen well; there is one part of marriage that is not so pleasant. In fact, at times it can be very painful, but you must, and you will learn to endure it. It is your ‘wifely duty.’”

  “Yes, Mother,” she said with a look of concern and the tiniest bit of fright in her voice.

  “When you marry, your husband acquires certain rights to you. Rights that he can demand that you give him, and you must submit to it. It is part of being a wife. It may be a hard thing to do at first, but you will learn to put up with it. You must; it is your wifely duty.”

  Even though Mother explained fully, this concerned Patricia terribly. She did not see how John could ever be cruel to her or hurt her. She tried to forget her fright of this scary, secret thing that would happen to her, but no matter how she tried, the mere thought of it and the fright she felt concerning it loomed heavily in her thoughts.

  The next morning, Patricia rose early. She couldn’t bear to wait any longer. She was so excited—today was her wedding day! She began by brushing her hair as she always did. She loved the feel of her hair, so soft, full, and thick. Soon, Mother came in to awaken her. Not surprised to see Patricia already up and about, she drew her bath.

  Patricia knew that she had some extra time, and that was just what she wanted; time to relax and prepare for the important day ahead of her. She pulled her hair up on her head so she could bathe. She wanted to take extra special care of herself today. Today was special, and so was she. After bathing, she rubbed lilac all over her body. She loved its scent and was going to treat herself to it today.

  As she began dressing, Mother came in again to help her. Patricia reached for the beautiful petticoat Mother had given her the night before, again struck by its beauty. Putting it on, she ran her fingers over it again, as she had done the night before. Carefully, she picked up the gown she would wear on this special day. It was the dress Mother had worn on her wedding day; it was made of white silk, with puffed sleeves, a high waistline, and a scoop neckline, and closed with many buttons down the back. There was a small, pleated train. As she put it on, with Mother’s help, she let it fall carefully to the floor. While Mother buttoned it for her, she ran her fingers over the beautiful silk gown. It was a perfect fit. Slowly, she turned to Mother, her eyes filled with tears.

  “Oh, Mother, it’s so beautiful! Thank you for letting me wear it. It means so much!”

  They embraced. As they separated, Patricia noticed tears in Mother’s eyes too. As if they were of one mind, they both said, “I love you.” Drying her own eyes and Patricia’s, Margaret viewed Patricia as a woman for the first time. She took Patricia by the hands. “Be happy. John is a good man. He will be good to you.” Then Mother handed her the new lace handkerchief and scarf they had bought for her to wear and gave her the bonnet that completed her outfit. The bonnet was pleated on top of the crown, had white satin ribbon ties, and was just as beautiful as the gown.

  Patricia sat down on her bed to put on her slippers. They were very delicate—white satin with leather soles and white ribbon ties. Before rising, she made final adjustments to her white silk stockings and white satin garters with their gleaming gold buckles. Patricia was a sight to behold. She reminded Margaret very much of herself on her wedding day so many years ago.

  Patricia loved this gown. She could have had a new one—one all her own,one much fancier if she had wished it. She could have had any gown she wanted. It pleased her mother that she chose to wear her gown. Sentiment was much more important to Patricia than an expensive gown. True, her family was well off, but she did not like flaunting what she had. It wasn’t important to her. In fact, most of the time, she was happiest when people didn’t know about it. Then she could be treated as anyone would. Patricia thought it very shallow of some people to treat her and her family with greater respect and courtesy because they were well to do. She felt it should make no difference; what you had should not be nearly as important as what you are.

  As they finished getting her ready, Mother handed Patricia a handkerchief. “It’s the one I used at my wedding. I want you to have it. You look beautiful, dear.”

  Just then, Father knocked and entered the room. He was taken aback by the sight of his grown little girl. “Come here, Patricia. I want you to see something.” Taking her outside, he walked her over to a wagon and team that she had never seen.

  “Is there someone here, Father?”

  “No, Patricia. They are for you and John from your mother and I.”

  Awkwardly, he hugged her. Patricia stood there, gently in a state of shock. She mumbled, “Father?”

  “Yes, Patricia. They are yours.”

  Turning and hugging him, she said quietly, “Thank you, Father.” Finally, all was prepared, and they were off to the chapel. Father drove the new wagon, with two horses following behind. Patricia was lost in her thoughts. The wagon is so beautiful! I can’t believe it. Today is already so wonderful, and I haven’t even seen John yet! Looking around the wagon, feeling the wood, Patricia was in awe at the smoothness of the wood under her touch. It’s newly made; the lumber smells freshly cut. It’s large, roomy enough that all of our supplies and belongings could be transported anywhere. Patricia, still lost in thought, was unaware of the fact they had come to a halt. She startled when Mother tapped her.

  “We’re here, dear. Are you all right?” Father was at her side, ready to help her out.

  “Yes, I’m fine.”

  As they entered the chapel, Mother made sure Patricia’s train never touched the ground. Mother and daughter took time for final preparations as the last of the guests were seated.

  John and Jasper were in their places up front, speaking with Reverend Williams. Jasper looked up as Mr. Heifelmeyer was coming forward to join the conversation. Realizing Patricia had arrived, and meeting her father halfway, Jasper excused himself to deliver the bouquet of wildflowers—daisies and lilacs John had picked for his bride.

  “Thank you, J
asper, they are beautiful. How is John?”

  Before Jasper had time to reply, Patricia saw John in conversation with Reverend Williams and her father. John looks extremely handsome in his suit. It consisted of pearl-gray breeches, shirt, waistcoat, and tie. The sight was breathtaking to Patricia. I’ve never seen John in anything but his work clothes. He looks so different; yes, I know well that he is a handsome man, but today, in this suit, he is even more handsome than I could ever have imagined!

  The ceremony was a small one, just as the couple wanted. As they began, Patricia’s father walked her down the aisle and presented her to John. As he saw her coming down the aisle, his eyes widened, his lips parted slightly, and he drew in a breath. Their eyes met, and the ever-present twinkle shone brightly. John took a step toward them. Extending his hands to Patricia, he gently clasped hers, whispering, “You look beautiful!” She blushed.

  The ceremony began, with Patricia’s eyes cast downward to conceal her nervousness. It was a formal ceremony as most couples planned with only their closest family members in attendance. Patricia appeared to John to be at a type of mental doorway, ready to step across the threshold to join him. John’s attention too, was drawn away from the words Reverend Williams was reciting. Shortly, both came back to the present.

  “May I say, it is apparent to all here present,” they heard the Reverend addressing them, “what a special couple you are. Your love is not hidden under a bushel basket, but shining brightly today. I am privileged to be here with you as your servant before the Lord.

  John, wilt thou have this woman for thy wedded wife, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love her, comfort her, honor and keep her in sickness and health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto her, as long as ye both shall live?”

  “I will.”

  “Patricia, wilt thou have this man for thy wedded husband, to live together after God’s ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony? Wilt thou love him, comfort him, honor and keep him in sickness and health; and forsaking all others, keep thee only unto him, as long as ye both shall live?”

  “I will.”

  With the rings placed on the bride’s finger at the conclusion of the vows, Reverend Williams paused. John had asked him to do so at this point in the ceremony when he arrived earlier that morning.

  John held Patricia’s hands and kissed them tenderly as he began, “You are my heart, Patricia, and neither of us is whole alone. My dear Patricia, I want to keep the sparkle in your eyes burning brightly forever. The vows that I have just spoken will not be just until death. You have my heart and my love forever and always. I want you, and all here present to be witness to my eternal pledge to you.”

  Caught off guard, Patricia regained her composure quickly. Filled with even deeper emotion, squeezing his hand, she began, “I too wish to pledge myself eternally to you in the presence of this company, John. You are my life. I breathe for you and with you. I want to share every moment with you, not just now, but forever and always, ‘til the end of time.”

  As the bride finished, Reverend Williams concluded the ceremony. “Let no man separate what God has joined.”

  * * *

  The wedding had been so long in coming, the couple thought. Not for reasons of lust, as Patricia’s parents secretly feared, but simply because of their mutual need to be together always. They wanted to share everything, from the laughter and good times they had recently shared to every aspect of each other’s daily existence.

  Patricia’s parents need not have feared for their daughter’s virginity. It was still very much intact and treasured by her, and that is what Patricia considered it: a treasure and a gift to be given to her husband, to be opened for the first time on their wedding night; and so it would be.

  Chapter 6

  Celebration!

  After the ceremony, everyone returned to the house for a reception. The house was gaily decorated with blue and white flowers strung across the porch banisters. It was the social event of the year, with quite a large number in attendance. The bride and groom mingled with guests until two debutantes stopped them and wanted to admire Patricia’s wedding attire and her beautiful ring. John politely excused himself and joined his father-in-law who took the opportunity to introduce him to some important business associates. The reception proceeded without incident until one of Patricia’s ex suitors, Randall Cunningham, began to get rather inebriated and monopolize the bride’s time. Patricia wished he would just go away so she could rejoin John and their guests, but she remained a lady. She had already danced with him once, and he kept stepping on her feet.

  John had been talking with Jasper, and he had indeed seen what had been going on. “Do you want me to handle this for you, Trish?” (John’s endearing name for Patricia was Trish and only he called her by that name).

  “I can take care of myself, thank you.”

  I guess I’ll just go back and talk to Jasper and watch how she takes care of things. She began another dance with Randall. Toward the end of the dance, he stepped on Patricia’s wedding gown and the bottom of the train tore. Patricia picked up the torn section of her mother’s gown and began to cry. Moments later, Randall ushered Patricia to the settee in the far corner of the room. When John looked over at them, Randall was talking to her very intently. It looked as if he were trying to comfort her. She looked at John with the word “help” in her eyes.

  She can wait just one minute longer while I finish my conversation with Jasper. When he looked again, the look of “help” had been replaced with a look of fire. Leaving Jasper, John thought, What a way to start a wedding night! The closer he got, he saw tears in Trish’s eyes and the torn wedding gown she held like an injured child. John filled with an anger he had never felt before.

  “Randall, you have monopolized my bride’s time long enough. I suggest you mingle a little.”

  “No, thank you.”

  “Then leave. You are no longer welcome here.” By now, Patricia’s parents had moved closer, not to interfere, but to better observe.

  “But,” Mr. Cunningham began in protest.

  John put his arm around the man’s shoulder and talked to him in a low, calm voice while walking him outside. Once out of sight of the guests, John bodily picked him up placed him on the banister of the front porch. In the state Randall was in, more than slightly inebriated, he couldn’t keep his balance and fell off the porch.

  Shortly after, the newlyweds prepared to leave. As they did, Jasper asked John if he could speak to Patricia. When they were alone, he began, “Well, did you enjoy taking care of yourself?” Before she could speak, he continued, “John is your husband now. He will not only love you and provide for you, he will protect you. You should have let him take care of the situation when he first asked.

  “Even if you can take care of something yourself, Patricia, let him feel that he is needed. That is very important to a man. Make him feel as special as he makes you feel. The love you share is a treasure and a gift from God. Remember this, and treasure him. Now, go to him, Little One, and be happy!”

  With a demure thank you and a big hug for Jasper, she returned to John. The couple bid their good byes and were off, leaving behind her parents, who were still quietly chuckling over the incident on the porch earlier. Patricia turned back for a final good bye to her parents and noticed tears in their eyes.

  As soon as they were out of earshot, Patricia couldn’t be quiet any longer. She was sure that if she did, she would burst.

  “John,” she began breathlessly, “what shall we do? We have no place to live. No—” But before she could continue, John interrupted.

  “Quiet, my love, and come with me,” he replied, taking his new bride’s hand. As he spoke, she saw a magical twinkle in his eyes. Patricia hushed and followed John’s lead. He helped her into the new wagon and urged the horses to a trot.
She sat close to him, her left hand on his thigh, her right in her lap, thinking, But where are we going? Patricia’s curiosity was stronger than ever.

  Chapter 7

  New Beginnings

  The ride seemed endless. Gradually they came to a halt in front of a cabin, one Patricia had never seen before. Saying nothing, John got out of the wagon and came around to help her. As he did, he was distinctly aware of her confusion. He led her slowly in front of the team until they came to a specific spot and stopped. She noticed that twinkle as he turned toward her.

  “Welcome home, my love,” he said quietly with a great sense of pride.

  “John?”

  “Yes, love, this is our home. I began building it over a year ago. Come and see.”

  He swept her up in his arms. Once across the threshold, he set her down just inside the door. She looked around the room slowly. There was a table and chairs set up by a small but beautiful rock fireplace, which was complete with a huge iron pot and cooking utensils.

  John carried her to their bedroom. The next morning during breakfast, they shared memories of the reception. Patricia remembered Randall’s fall from his horse as he left.

  John chuckled. “Well, I have to take part of the blame for that. You see, I was more than just a little upset at his monopolizing you. I was going to go over and give him a piece of my mind and throw him out, but Jasper calmed me down. Instead, I went outside and loosened up his saddle a bit.” The thought of Randall falling off had them both laughing to the point of tears.

  As days turned to months, they remained as close as they had been on the day they wed. John would leave the house in the morning to cut down trees at the property lines. In truth, there were no definite properties, since the home had been built on the extensive Heifelmeyer estate. Property lines did exist to some extent, but only for the sake of privacy.